don't kill me for posting this joke because my 7 year old niece told me it and it made me smile
a man went to the vets with his duck and said to the vet 'is there anything you can do for my duck?'
the vet took a look at the duck and said 'sorry to tell you that your duck is dead'
the man in tears said 'no, no you must be wrong - i want a second opinion'
the vet says 'well, i can bring in my labrador dog to see if he can pick up any signs of life, but it will cost you extra for that'
the man says 'anything, anything bring him in'
the labrador jumps up onto the table and sniffs around the duck and then turns his head to the vet and shakes it slowly
the vet says 'i'm sorry sir, your duck is definitely dead'
the man says 'no, i want another opinion - a final opinion'
the vet says 'okay, well i can bring in my pet cat and let her see if she can see any signs of life, but it'll cost you extra for that too'
the man says 'yes, yes please bring her in'
the cat jumps up onto the table and looks all over the duck and then turns its head to the vet and shakes it slowly
the vet says 'i'm sorry sir, your duck is definitely dead'
the man cries out 'nooooooooooooooooooooo'
the vet says 'i'm sorry sir, but i also have to tell you that that will be an extra £1500 onto your bill'
the man says 'whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat? why so much?'
the vet says 'well, you also wanted a lab report and a cat scan'
(runs for cover)