Topic: Jokes so bad they're punny

[BarryCrocker]

yodaft get

There's a darth of humour in these last few posts.

[24/7]

I posted this one at work cos I was fed up with them using Star Wars quotes on Star Trek memes and vice-versa...

[Sir Capon of Debaser]

Left trying to pick the Bones out of that one

Was ya arm dead after or did you get Nein Nunb ness?

[Sir Capon of Debaser]

I posted this one at work cos I was fed up with them using Star Wars quotes on Star Trek memes and vice-versa...

[liverbloke]

i met a girl in a bar last night and i said to her can you show me a good time

so she took me outside and ran away from me down the street in 9.45 seconds

[Ghost Town]

i met a girl in a bar last night and i said to her can you show me a good time

so she took me outside and ran away from me down the street in 9.45 seconds

So previously you told us about a dog who made a bolt for the back door and now a girl who did a Bolt from the front door?

That's nuts

[Son of Spion]

So previously you told us about a dog who made a bolt for the back door and now a girl who did a Bolt from the front door?

That's nuts

Nuts. Bolts.

I'm not sure this is the right thread.

[Terry de Niro]

Nuts. Bolts.

I'm not sure this is the right thread.

Hope it doesn't get locked.

[SamLad]

Nuts. Bolts.

I'm not sure this is the right thread.

 

[Chakan]

Nuts. Bolts.

I'm not sure this is the right thread.

Unless we're talking about robot sex.

[liverbloke]

are you guys screwing with me?

[Ghost Town]

Nuts. Bolts.

I'm not sure this is the right thread.

Screw you!

[farawayred]

So previously you told us about a dog who made a bolt for the back door and now a girl who did a Bolt from the front door?

That's nuts

Usain Bolt gives two thumbs up!

[bradders1011]

Republic campaigners have a plan to not get arrested at future protests: they're renaming themselves Just Stop Royal.

[24/7]

Hope it doesn't get locked.

That would be a real wrench for some. We might need to get out the ban hammer to nail the point home.

[liverbloke]

when i was a kid i grew up in a really rough area

the local kids would regularly cover me in cake, chocolate and cream

yeh, it was tough growing up in the gateau

[BlackandWhitePaul]

In the Pub last night my mate said "my lad has been eating electrical cords, what do I do?'

I said "ground him until he conducts himself properly".

[liverbloke]

In the Pub last night my mate said "my lad has been eating electrical cords, what do I do?'

I said "ground him until he conducts himself properly".

he sounds like a real live wire

[SamLad]

shocking way to treat a kid.

[24/7]

shocking way to treat a kid.

Social services need to intervene. They're neutral.

[liversaint]

Social services need to intervene. They're neutral.

Just hope he doesn’t blow a fuse

[farawayred]

Why so many sparks here?

[24/7]

Why so many sparks here?

Someone's stream died.

[liverbloke]

i had to give up my job as a taxi driver

i just didn't like people talking behind my back

[Red Beret]

[24/7]

Superb! One my colleagues has his birthday today and his surname is Gander. Just sent him this

[BlackandWhitePaul]

I Just got fired from my job as a set designer.

I left without making a scene.

[BlackandWhitePaul]

I've never had a chance to join the Mile High Club . . . . . . . .  I don't give a flying fuck.

[tubby]

[tubby]

[Andy @ Allerton!]

I sent my hearing aid away last week to get fixed.

Haven't heard anything since.

[liverbloke]

I sent my hearing aid away last week to get fixed.

Haven't heard anything since.

that joke has fell on deaf ears

[24/7]

that joke has fell on deaf ears

Needed a drum roll first...

[Andy @ Allerton!]

Needed a drum roll first...

That sounds a bit eerie

[liverbloke]

a bad guy dies and he ends up in hell

the devil greets him on his arrival and says - come with me, we have a choice of 3 rooms for you

the devil opens the door to the first room and inside there are people being burned with red hot pokers screaming loudly as their eyes are gouged out and their skin scorched

the devil says - how's about this one?

the guy says - no thanks, let's see the other 2

the devil opens the door to the second room and inside there are people covered completely in insects which are swarming into their mouths, their ears and every other orifice as they scream out in muffled terror

devil - this one any better?

guy - no way, let's see the next one

the devil opens the door to the third and final room and inside the smell is horrific and there are people waist deep in human excrement but drinking tea with biscuits and reading newspapers and magazines

devil - what do you think of this one then?

guy - well, i guess i'd get used to the smell and it seems much better than the other 2.... so i'll take this option please

devil - okay in you go

the devil then padlocks the door and blows a whistle - okay you lot, tea break over, now back on your heads

[Ghost Town]

Love your work in this thread liverbloke but that one is possibly older than Beelzebub himself.

[liverbloke]

Love your work in this thread liverbloke but that one is possibly older than Beelzebub himself.

better the devil you know 

[afc tukrish]

better the devil you know 

devil is in the details...

[SamLad]

devil is in the details...

I just knew you'd want to ham things up.

[jambutty]

<a href="https://www.youtube.com/v/Ut116mBuPpg" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer" class="bbc_link bbc_flash_disabled new_win">https://www.youtube.com/v/Ut116mBuPpg</a>