Does anyone have experience with Anti depressants?
A few weeks ago I was put on Paroexitine. They were suggested by my therapist who asked me to contact my GP.
I dont think I like them
Lat night not all my mates were going out, a few where, but I couldn't be arsed. I didnt even watch HIGNFY or The last leg, was literally in bed for 9pm.
Were playing City in a few hours and I have no pre match nerves or excitement. I just feel flat and really weird.
I have long experience of anti-depressants. A few factors have literally saved my life over the years, and anti-depressants have been one of those factors. They're a double-edged sword though, and need to be used wisely. I've been dealing with a number of related issues since I was a young child. Severe generalised anxiety and severe social anxiety disorder, which led to many bouts of depression and long-standing suicidal ideology and self-harm. To blot all that out and try to live, I'd drink ridiculous amounts of alcohol just to get out the front door. That brings its own problems, as you can imagine.
I add all that into the post for context. Basically, I didn't start on medication lightly. I was going to end up dead if I didn't at least try it again. I say "again" because I was put on them as a teenager, and they totally wiped me out. I couldn't stay awake. it was a long time ago so I don't recall what they gave me. Not something in popular use these days, I imagine. Anyway, I had to come off them and I steered clear for many years afterwards.
These days I have experience with the SSRI type of anti-depressants. Firstly Escitalopram, then Sertraline. As I said earlier, they helped save my life, but I don't recommend anyone go on them without careful consideration and thought. They can be easy to go on, but often difficult to get off.
These meds are also not really meant to be seen as a cure-all. They won't fix any of your problems. What they
can do is help give you a more stable base to build on, though. A lot of people go on them and just expect to feel better about their lives. Well, meds are a potential assistance, not a miracle worker.
In my case, I was trying to build my life on constantly shifting emotional sand. I'd go to bed in one frame of mind and awake in the morning in another. A chaos of changing, conflicting emotions. A war inside my head. And that was before I even tried to get through the day. Constantly emotionally and physically draining. This is where meds eventually helped me. They helped rein in the chaos to a level I could at least try to work with.
Initial experience wasn't good, but I'd researched them and knew what to expect. I actually felt worse on them at the start. I was habitually clenching my teeth to the point of breaking one. I'd have sweats, feel hot, then cold. I was all over the place. My spatial awareness went to the point where I didn't drive unless I had to, and only at night when it was quiet. I actually logged a journal on my experience of the meds, day by day.
What everyone should be told when going on these meds is that the first six weeks or so can be quite rocky. Not for everyone, but it is common. You can feel worse before you feel more stable. This is brain chemistry we're talking about here. Too few people are told about this, so take them and expect to feel the benefit within days. The side-effects can kick in, they suddenly panic and say "these aren't working" so they throw them in the bin.
Once deciding that these meds are genuinely necessary, it's best to give them at least six weeks of regular use before even making a judgement on whether or not they are making a difference. I'd say even two months going by my own experience. For me, the side-effects did stabilise and I felt more able to then start the actual work necessary to improve my life.
Meds don't change your life. What you do whilst on them is what changes your life. I got some counselling. I looked at different therapies and applied aspects of them to my life. I got active and did things with my day that I valued doing.
I've said it a million times in here so won't labour the point, but I use aspects of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) to deal with thoughts. I think I was born a world champion catastrophiser, so this helped enormously. I don't battle with thoughts anymore, so they have no power over me.
Meds are meant to be used this way. As an assistant towards what you are doing with your life to improve it. Too many people just sit back and expect the meds to do all the work. Well, they don't and they can't. Whatever your problems are before you went on meds are still your problems when you are on them. But meds might just help smooth the way a little so you can navigate your way through.
Whatever work people need to do in order to get past their issues, they still need to do whilst on meds. Otherwise, they change nothing. Unrealistic expectations are a big reason why many bin meds off and say "they didn't work." Well, they do work. They do have an effect, but they don't change your life. You have to do that bit.
It's no surprise that meds are known to work much better when used alongside counselling/therapy. This is because the problematic issues are being looked at and addressed alongside the use of the meds, which hopefully are helping to bring a semblance of emotional stability, thus aiding that process.
People don't necessarily have to go for counselling/therapy though. I also did a hell of a lot of self help. Cherry picking things I thought might help then trying them out. Trial and error. Suck it and see. So long as we're taking steps to improve our day, it's all good. It all builds momentum in the right direction for us.
Meds? Well yes, there are side-effects. We have to ask in our own individual case if those side-effects are a worthwhile trade off. If so, then it's worth being on them. In my case, the trade-off is worth it.
Expectations? It pays to ask what you expect meds to bring to your table. If your expectations are unrealistic then it might be worth reconsidering.
They are a potential help, not a fix. They can only potentially help smooth the way somewhat as you work in other ways to address the issues in life you face.
I realise this has turned into a general take on their use rather than a direct reply to you specifically, KJ, but I hope it's of some use to you. All the best with everything.
