Topic: Alcohol Issues - The Carl van Riel Memorial Thread

[AndyInVA]

Not had a drink for two days now.
Vodka in the freezer as well.
Won't be having anything tomorrow either, as I'm out in the car until late.

good effort mate. one day at a time

[L666KOP]

good effort mate. one day at a time

Cheers mate, I've always been able to turn it on and off like a tap.
The key is to try and stay calm, I reach for it when I get stressed and I've had a fair bit of that lately.
But I had half a bottle on tuesday, and the other half is still in freezer.
If I stay calm, I'm fine. Unfortunately once I open the bottle I drink until I drop basically. Never been able to just have one.

[Sir Harvest Fields]

Nice one mate, any break is better than none. Im glad im not the only one who would put vodka in the freezer

[L666KOP]

Nice one mate, any break is better than none. Im glad im not the only one who would put vodka in the freezer

Thanks SHF.
Vodka always in the freezer mate, and for at least 4 hours before you use it as well. Just so it goes a bit syrupy.
 

[blert596]

its been hard not to slip into too bad habits. Ive been home alone for three days and I have tons of beer in the fridge.  thankfully been able to keep it limited to 3 a night. there is some sherry in the house which is the first time I have touched anything stronger than wine in a while
I did let it go on thursday night and drank a whole bottle of wine
still, Im nowhere near as bad as a year ago

All thats missing from that post is the word "yet" at the very end of it.

[AndyInVA]

All thats missing from that post is the word "yet" at the very end of it.

its not looking like im headed that way. tonight will be my second night of zero drink. three nights ago had three and did get a bit tipsy and insult the current wife. prior to that had none for a few nights

[Billy The Kid]

Andy mate, when I read your posts I can't help but shake my head a little bit. I see you now as someone who is slowly beginning to slip back down the slope

You were off the booze for years mate. Yet now you're coming out with "tonight will be my second night of zero drink", and "prior to that had none for a few nights".

You know, you're already starting to sound like the classic alcoholic who excuses his drinking on the basis of the number of nights that he doesn't drink

I mean, lets say I came in this thread and said "I got smashed last night". And lets say one of the lads in here told me to cop onto myself

And lets say I responded with "but I haven't drank since March. Look at how many nights in a row I managed to stay sober".

Would my 9 months of sobriety convince you all that I'm ok to go back drinking now? I doubt it would.

Hence your sporadic sober stints aren't going to get you off the hook mate.

You can dress it up all you like, but don't forget, most of us in here know the score when it come to alcohol

They say you can't bullshit a bullshitter. Well you can't bullshit an alcoholic about alcohol either mate.

Andy, just do yourself a favor mate. Fuck the liquor off and go back to being sober for yourself.

[spen71]

Well I am 5 weeks short of 2 years now and got no intentions to drink again.   As they say in AA once an alkie always an alkie.   So Andy please be careful.   I tried so many time to have controlled drinking and withing a month I was back worse that before.

[Sir Harvest Fields]

Thats nowt short of amazing mate.  Well in its good to see. I do see a pattern emerging with Andy though, i hope its not founded.

[Johnnyboy1973]

I do see a pattern emerging with Andy though

He's talking bollocks?


42 months and here comes Chrissy.

[Sir Harvest Fields]

Yea he is I hope he does well with it. This is not a good time to try and be ' curbing ' alcoholism if thats the right way to say it.


As for you cheesedick, thats rather good. You ever want a drink. Whats it like both personally and socially to be like that.

[Johnnyboy1973]

You ever want a drink. Whats it like both personally and socially to be like that.

Want? No. Sometimes I rarely think, it might be nice.

Personally and socially? I rarely do pubs. The people that know me from the day are happy I dont drink and would never push for me to. New people, of my age are largely unconcerned it. It's quite interesting. Someone will offer my a drink, I go non alcohol, they ask, why, I reply that I dont drink and very, very few then ask why; it's generally the end of it.

[spen71]

Andy -  Good luck mate but I think you are doomed to failure!

[Elli]

It occurs to me that the stigma for non-drinking is vastly worse for men. One of my colleagues (female) doesn't drink and nobody ever bats an eyelid. If the blokes said the same I bet they would be quizzed over it.

[jason42]

It occurs to me that the stigma for non-drinking is vastly worse for men. One of my colleagues (female) doesn't drink and nobody ever bats an eyelid. If the blokes said the same I bet they would be quizzed over it.

It was hard work when Debs and I stopped drinking as we were still working in her parents Wine Bar/Squash Club. I recall one New Year's Eve where we both on Coke (the soft drink and not Charlie) and we were the life and soul of the party and nobody could believe that we weren't drinking. It's been around 20 years now and I have never missed it at all. Sometimes though, I have sort of longed for the come home from work and have a relaxing glass of wine thing but that was more to do with the idea of it rather than wanting a drink.

[L666KOP]

Went back home last night for a bit of supper with the wife, ended up staying the night, had three small vodka and cokes, with the wife. First time I've had a controlled drink in a controlled environment for months. And it actually felt good to be able to, and actually want to say no to a fourth. I just didn't want it.
Got the utmost confidence that when I'm back on my own tonight I won't go near it, had such a laugh last night. I know there'll be a period tonight when I feel low again, but the meltdown in the post match thread should keep me amused.
I certainly wouldn't trust myself to only have one or two whilst only having my thoughts for company, but I know I'm strong enough to swerve it, and I certainly won't be removing temptation, the bottle stays in the freezer.

[Sir Harvest Fields]

Hows it going my good people? Xmas on the way and all that. How are your thoughts with the impending xmas piss up's looming?

[OLDIE]

Went back home last night for a bit of supper with the wife, ended up staying the night, had three small vodka and cokes, with the wife. First time I've had a controlled drink in a controlled environment for months. And it actually felt good to be able to, and actually want to say no to a fourth. I just didn't want it.
Got the utmost confidence that when I'm back on my own tonight I won't go near it, had such a laugh last night. I know there'll be a period tonight when I feel low again, but the meltdown in the post match thread should keep me amused.
I certainly wouldn't trust myself to only have one or two whilst only having my thoughts for company, but I know I'm strong enough to swerve it, and I certainly won't be removing temptation, the bottle stays in the freezer.

One word somes this up mate

Progress !

Congratulations Kidda

[AndyInVA]

all is pretty good. im able to enjoy alcohol at one or two drinks a night and just leave it there, which is really good. dont feel the pressure of xmas as I know I wont be going anywhere for any parties or gatherings

[L666KOP]

Have had a drink every night this week, culminating in shovelling away a full bottle of Vodka, and almost a full bottle of Coffee liquer last night.
6 hours kip and have got up feeling fine.
I need to knock it on the head. I don't know why I'm doing it.
Life has picked up tenfold lately, but I still reach for it at six o'clock.

[jason42]

Have had a drink every night this week, culminating in shovelling away a full bottle of Vodka, and almost a full bottle of Coffee liquer last night.
6 hours kip and have got up feeling fine.
I need to knock it on the head. I don't know why I'm doing it.
Life has picked up tenfold lately, but I still reach for it at six o'clock.

You have to find a way to break the habit - or you will become dependant on the booze. You have done so well and come so far so to fuck it all up now would be madness. Stick with it mate and get yourself sorted....

[L666KOP]

You have to find a way to break the habit - or you will become dependant on the booze. You have done so well and come so far so to fuck it all up now would be madness. Stick with it mate and get yourself sorted....

Cheers mate.
I know I need to wind it right back, just been on a bit of a high this last week or two, she's had a week off uni and we have a drink in the evenings.
It will be all change next week as she's back in uni. I just can't resist it at the moment. I'm not drinking on my own though, we just seem to be having a couple nearly every night, I just end up drinking a hell of a lot.
Need to give my head a shake.

[Billy The Kid]

It will be all change next week as she's back in uni.

Oooph. If I had a dime for every time I trotted out the "things will change when....." line.

You're treading in dangerous waters right now mate

[Mumm-Ra]

Have had a drink every night this week, culminating in shovelling away a full bottle of Vodka, and almost a full bottle of Coffee liquer last night.
6 hours kip and have got up feeling fine.
I need to knock it on the head. I don't know why I'm doing it.
Life has picked up tenfold lately, but I still reach for it at six o'clock.

Mate that is a massive, massive amount of alcohol. Just in case you're even partially telling yourself that it isn't, based on you saying you woke up feeling fine (don't even know how that's possible BTW).

[tinman1]

Have had a drink every night this week, culminating in shovelling away a full bottle of Vodka, and almost a full bottle of Coffee liquer last night.
6 hours kip and have got up feeling fine.
I need to knock it on the head. I don't know why I'm doing it.
Life has picked up tenfold lately, but I still reach for it at six o'clock.

There is a reasons behind it mate.

There is a part of your brain called the mid brain (we share this with other animals) and it is there for your survival. It regulates your body temperature, heart beat and also your breathing. It also where your cravings come from, food, water, oxygen and even sex. In your Mid Brain there is these 2 things called Amygdala (read up on them) They remember past pleasures. They do this through your senses. Through them senses it uses associations (people call them triggers) they are personal to you as you make that association. You have now made the association of 6 O'Clock every night you reach for the drink and if you do something often and in excess you mid brain thinks it the normal thing and you have trained you mid brain to now believe you need that drink at 6 o'clock every night therefore you will get those cravings come 6 o'clock. The chances are you have hardly said no to the cravings so your mid brain will keep on asking for that drink at 6 o'clock.

Your mid brain now thinks it needs that drink at 6 o'clock to survive. In the same way it believes you need food, warmth and oxygen.

Its a learnt behaviour

For example dogs have that mid brain. If I take my dog out everyday at 4pm for a walk and when I go out the house I turn left every time the dog will learn to go left every time but if after some time I decide one day to go right the dog will still go left because it has learnt that that's what we have learnt to do.

Same with your brain mate. Try and break that pattern. Don't forget those cravings for the drink can be a strong as hunger and as alluring as sexual desire. They can be beaten though with a little education on how to do it.

Hope that makes sense. I myself had an addiction to Cocaine for 11 years. Lost everything, family, house, car, jobs, self respect in fact everything that comes with Addiction. I sought help and sat a course that gave me the skills to become abstinent and I now teach the very same course and this is part of the course - How and why we addict.

[Elli]

It's also to do with dopamine and the reward circuitry of the mesolimbocortical system (which is essentially just Neurologist for midbrain). Dopamine is a fascinating neurotransmitter - if you're interested, read more on that as well.

[And Could He Play]

i need to get back in here properly soon i think

[tinman1]

It's also to do with dopamine and the reward circuitry of the mesolimbocortical system (which is essentially just Neurologist for midbrain). Dopamine is a fascinating neurotransmitter - if you're interested, read more on that as well.

Very true. Good post.

Lots of chemicals in there but your mid brain uses 2 as a reward system as you say.

Dopamine - Body's natural cocaine
Endorphins - Body's natuaral opiate.

Dopamine is released by your mid brain once you have decided to act upon the craving. This is the buzz you get going to get your drink or drugs. If you watch a drug user going to meet his dealer he will be power walking. Nothing is stopping him get there. Same with drinkers going the off license. The dopamine drives you.

Endorphin's are released by your mid brain to reward you for the job it asked you to do once you have the drink or drugs in your hand. This is the big sense of relief you get. Some drinker have to have that drink next to the bed in the morning when they wake up. They take that 1st swig and you will hear them sigh with relief. That drink has not even entered their blood system yet. The relief comes from the reward of endorphin's being released.

[Red Genius]

i need to get back in here properly soon i think

You alright mate?

[And Could He Play]

You alright mate?

yeah mate, just going a bit off the rails again, if you know what i mean.

[Red Genius]

yeah mate, just going a bit off the rails again, if you know what i mean.

You're single now yeah?

If i'm with ya... i know what you mean.... boring nights are easily consumed with a few beers.... well a shit load of beer.

[And Could He Play]

You're single now yeah?

If i'm with ya... i know what you mean.... boring nights are easily consumed with a few beers.... well a shit load of beer.

nail on head. i had it boxed, but its getting a grip again. its the devil.

[Red Genius]

nail on head. i had it boxed, but its getting a grip again. its the devil.

Mate i understand... i've me own little bachelor pad and it's so fucking easy to come home from work kick me shoes off and sit back on this laptop and sink a few....

Started a weights program to keep me busy....

It's about breaking the routine, or not getting into it to begin with.... keeping yaself occupied.. easier said than done, but like work mate, you get out what you put in, put in a bit of distraction and you get out sober nights.

[tinman1]

Great paragraph written by Jack Trimpey......

The desire to drink moderately is a bit like wanting to be taller. The only people who want to be taller are people who think they’re too short. The only people who want to drink moderately have already demonstrated they don’t even want to. After all, if you actually wanted to drink moderately after having one drink, would you be a problem drinker? All problem drinkers have the death-defying wish to enjoy addictive pleasures without getting in trouble. The desire to drink moderately is a red flag for anyone having or had troubles related to alcohol and other drugs.

[Red Genius]

Great paragraph written by Jack Trimpey......

The desire to drink moderately is a bit like wanting to be taller. The only people who want to be taller are people who think they’re too short. The only people who want to drink moderately have already demonstrated they don’t even want to. After all, if you actually wanted to drink moderately after having one drink, would you be a problem drinker? All problem drinkers have the death-defying wish to enjoy addictive pleasures without getting in trouble. The desire to drink moderately is a red flag for anyone having or had troubles related to alcohol and other drugs.

Tis true mate, but your preaching to the well informed here

It's one thing understanding the beast, another controlling it.

[tinman1]

I get a bit biased in things I say because I teach a course that is based on Jack Trimpeys Rational Recovery over in the USA. Over here it is called Intuitive Recovery. It is a DIY Self Recovery course.

Having had an addiction for 11 years and  sank to the depths most people do in addiction I with the help of the Intuitive Recovery course I found it a walk in the park to stop using and stay stopped than the continuing using cocaine everyday and putting myself, family and friends through hell all because of my selfish choice to use cocaine.

I agree its a beast and it had me off for years but after a little education as to how and why it happens and learning a few easy to use skills given to me I have it put to bed and have beat the beast. I made a choice to use and then with help I made a choice not too.

[Red Genius]

I get a bit biased in things I say because I teach a course that is based on Jack Trimpeys Rational Recovery over in the USA. Over here it is called Intuitive Recovery. It is a DIY Self Recovery course.

Having had an addiction for 11 years and  sank to the depths most people do in addiction I with the help of the Intuitive Recovery course I found it a walk in the park to stop using and stay stopped than the continuing using cocaine everyday and putting myself, family and friends through hell all because of my selfish choice to use cocaine.

I agree its a beast and it had me off for years but after a little education as to how and why it happens and learning a few easy to use skills given to me I have it put to bed and have beat the beast. I made a choice to use and then with help I made a choice not too.

You're not wrong and clearly aware of the process.... but the one thing you forget is that education is wasted on deaf ears, all starts with someone wanting to make that change.

But congrats to you for taking  a bad situation and helping others..... i meself used to bang copious amounts of beak up my nose... spent 10's of thousands of pounds on it... so i can relate.

[Sir Harvest Fields]

I did wonder how it was going Paul. Not a great time of year to try and calm it all down mate.

Nice to see you have beaten yours Tinman, ive never touched 'drugs' so ive no idea about all that but an addiction is still an addiction and most in here can relate to that. Good that you have used it to help others

[L666KOP]

Mate that is a massive, massive amount of alcohol. Just in case you're even partially telling yourself that it isn't, based on you saying you woke up feeling fine (don't even know how that's possible BTW).

I've always been able to shift it mate, throughout my twenties I used to be able to put it away with a real ferociousness, and get up in the morning feeling fine. I was a beer man then, and on a 'good' night I'd drink getting on for 3 gallon. I got with the missus when I was 28 and pretty much stopped, we were skint etc so there was no real money to be able to do it, it was no great loss if I'm honest.
We've had a shocking last 2 years with one thing and another which culminated in her booting me out a couple of months ago, it was just something to fill the void, I was on my own and incredibly bored, a bottle of Vodka helped pass the time. Within a week I was drinking almost a bottle a night. She asked me to move back in with her a fortnight ago and I pretty much stopped again, last week it just creapt up on me again, like I said, she had a week off uni and we could have a few, it's shockingly easy to get back into doing it. I'm hoping when she's back at uni next week it will calm me down again. I never reach for it on my own, if she said she didn't want a drink I'd never reach for it. The problem is, she'll say she fancies a 'couple of drinks' and I take care of the rest of the bottle. I'm not aggressive, sorrowful, morbid when I drink, it just doesn't affect me at all.

@tinman1
Thanks for taking the time mate, I'll have a bit of a check out, I know it's a 'cycle'. It's like I'm itching for 6pm, and as soon as the wife agrees to a 'couple' I'm away.
I feel a bit ashamed really, I drank away from the house, it 's now happening at home. It's never created any problems, never.
We used to have a 'few' on a Friday and Saturday to wind down after the week, like I suspect most people do, I'd never touch it during the week.

[Sir Harvest Fields]

I it just doesn't affect me at all.

It must do mate, thats why you are in here. It affects people but sometimes you just dont see it. I knew it was affecting me big time, i didnt realise how much it was affecting everyone around me. I was oblivious to that fact. And you are ' hoping ' . Thats not a good thing to be doing mate and i do understand why its crept back up on you. Ive been there big time as well mate. Take it easy will ya