Topic: The Marital Sex thread...

[AllyouneedisRush]

Oh fuck now you're talking. Amazing when she does that. Hasn't been done in a long time though.

I remember that happening with some geordie bird i met in skegness butlins (many moons ago)...  considering i didn't remember the night before it was some shock the next morning...

lifting the sheet to see who/ what she looked like was an interesting experience... kinda glory hole with the great reveal.

[Effes]

Only time I've ever went to go there I got knocked back. Me and my mate were pretty pissed to be fair. He went first and they told us we were too drunk. So drunk in fact that I thought we would outsmart the stupid big fucks.'I've an idea. I'll go first this time. Maybe they won't recognise us.' So up we went. Doorman just asked are we fucking deaf haha. So its been aphrodities every time since. Haven't been since January last year though.

Would love to take my bird but no way would she be up for it

I went with a mate in a wheelchair - there was a stag do in there all dressed up.

Batman and Robin carried him up the stairs

[Enemy]

Fair point but u women want equality.

Which is why I dont see either as 'I need to use a thesaurus'

[Sir Harvest Fields]

Me and u need to meet up

[Enemy]

Too bad you outed me you daft sod!

[AllyouneedisRush]

Me and u need to meet up

is this post intended for dannyboy?

[It's Jimmy Corkhill]

This post is inspired about the previous discussion of strap on's and men's holes.

Myself and the missus are going out just over 6 years now. She's a cracking girl and our sex life - thankfully - has always remained healthy thanks to the two of us making a serious effort in keeping things interesting. Barring an unforeseen  catastrophe of some sort I can’t see myself being with anyone else .

I was bit of late starter in the sex stakes and got involved in a couple of long boring relationships where sex was good at times, but got routine and boring very quickly.

I met my current girlfriend while starting college and straight away the sex was really good, with a lot of emphasis on the actual shagging and not having everything  solely geared towards either one of us coming as soon as respectably and acceptably possible.

Anyway, my bird is very open and interested in sexuality. I on the other hand, although I consider myself open, would have been more inclined to grin like an ejiit and mumble into my neck when talking to a bird about sex, even if it was someone I was actually having sexual relations with,

My missus has always maintained about the male g-spot being up the man's hole and I've had that conversation a load of times with different mates. Some  of my mates would  be  more open than others, and by open I mean some of them would have considered do they find dicks sexy in themselves and decided no, they are in fact straight , while the mere mention of dick other than their own to others would imply that you were a raging homo.

Anyway, so my missus had basically teased me over the years about sticking stuff up my arse and I'd decline, but over time we ended up talking more and more about, to the point where  it became an occasional topic of  post - coital - pillow talk....you know, after a particularly satisfying session, "well would you try this" or whatever.

So anyway, about a year and a half ago I got the missus some jelly arse beads, which I'd use on her every now again and she seemed to like.
She proposed them for me a couple of times but I said no. But after a bit of mad session last year around Xmas, feeling particularly hungover and cabaged horny, we were getting it on and I  proposed to her to try the beads on me. So gave it a try, the beads get bigger the more they go up, it felt very weird me lying there having these yolks pushed up into me, but the missus going down on me at the same time gave me the feeling of having some of the power/control back.

Talking about recovering the feeling of having control may sound terribly shit to women reading this but it is something that lads are typically conditioned to expect and associate with sex, rightly or wrongly.

Anyway, the experience was ok, the only actual stimulation I got from them was when the missus was pulling them out, slowly like, it was literally the same feeling as having a shit but without the mess but that was basically it. We swapped around so I was lying on her and she pulled them out of me but again, aside from the always nice feeling of having a shit there was nothing else to it really.

For me this was proof that g-spot thing was a load of twaddle and I told the missus that girls have just really underestimated how great having a crap really is for blokes.

So left it that with the beads, the missus would mention for them from time to time but I wasn't arsed - if you'll excuse the pun.  Then about 6 months, again after a bit of session, the next day in bits, myself and the missus got into again. I was horny as a toad and she was going down on me. I was looking for the biggest hit I could get orgasm wise so I said if she wanted to go again with the beads go for it.
So with a little bit of lube, a weird feeling, the beads went up as herself started to suck me off.  Man this time was different. Same feeling of weirdness with the beads going up, but when they came out, ever so slightly the feeling was exciting. Again like having a dump but not worried about leaving a mess. Anyway, she was pulling them out ever so slightly, and pressing them up, but the up part was/is uncomfortable so I told her to just leave it there, while continuing with the oral.

Anyway when we eventually got around to the final countdown with the blow job I told her to pull beads out when I was coming and I'd give her the signal.

I gave her the signal, well fuck me - pardon the pun, I've never had an orgasm like it.
I absolutely blew my load via the blow job, that will always feel good, but dovetailed with a feeling of having a giant slow dump without the actual dump, it knocked my socks off. It's funny though cos even when it's happening, the finale like, the feeling is so strange your kind of like "what the fuck is this woah" and it's uncomfortable in that sense. But taken as what it is, a satisfying anal exhale which accentuates the ejaculation, it’s very worthwhile chaps. Not for every day week or even month, but defo one to take out for the especially intimate occasions.

I actually mentioned this to a few of my mates a while ago and got the absolute shit slagged out of me, imagine that? Most  if not all of my texts now start with “alright marble balls”.

Anyway, with this post I've basically barred myself from any potential rawk meet ups and I'm double glad the last one I was to go to was cancelled.

Legendary. A real man right there.

One of the best posts I've ever seen on here from "marble balls"! Haha!

[Kochevnik]

Legendary. A real man right there.

One of the best posts I've ever seen on here from "marble balls"! Haha!

How danny boy has avoided some kind of custom title after that post we'll never know!

[Effes]

How danny boy has avoided some kind of custom title after that post we'll never know!

Wont be long

[AllyouneedisRush]

Wont be long

do the mods venture in here?

[Effes]

Of course they do

[Rocher]

I need a man like that.

[cissepower]

Ok so, I'm not married, so I've stayed out of this thread because I thought I couldn't really relate but the thread is continually being bumped so I popped in and well....

Marble Balls....I applaud you...

[Corkboy]

Indeed. A cracking post, Danny Boy the Red.

[cissepower]

Indeed. A cracking post, Danny Boy the Red.

"Cracking" - I see what you did there

[timiano]

So, has anyone tried one of those sybian things to spice things up? (NSFW if you're googling) Megabucks, but they seem the daddy....metaphorically.

[Brian Blessed]

Perhaps I need to use a thesaurus was too strong a term. I just can't imagine any woman I've lain with- and in no Don Juan, to be fair - remaining asleep while I slipped any part of my manhood in her. For a start there are the logistics. Usually they lay on their side. Does the woman in question lay on her back, legs akimbo while sleeping? Is she naturally wet? I must know.

[Barneylfc∗]

Perhaps I need to use a thesaurus was too strong a term. I just can't imagine any woman I've lain with- and in no Don Juan, to be fair - remaining asleep while I slipped any part of my manhood in her. For a start there are the logistics. Usually they lay on their side. Does the woman in question lay on her back, legs akimbo while sleeping? Is she naturally wet? I must know.

You need to know if my bird is naturally wet?   

its all about the positioning. she normally lies on her side curled up a bit. positioning is key. basically when I'm having a wank, if there's a bit of response from her, I go in for the kill. I'll know within 30 seconds whether its going to turn in to full sex or whether she's going to crack up.

[Brian Blessed]

You need to know if my bird is naturally wet?   

its all about the positioning. she normally lies on her side curled up a bit. positioning is key. basically when I'm having a wank, if there's a bit of response from her, I go in for the kill. I'll know within 30 seconds whether its going to turn in to full sex or whether she's going to crack up.

I want to scratch my eyes out.

[Brian Blessed]

I'm about to be blind goodbye, RAW ghfjjdjhdhdhdhdhdhdncuogngot

[Barneylfc∗]

Don't knock it til you try it King B. 

She loves it. Sometimes.

[Brian Blessed]

Don't knock it til you try it King B. 

She loves it. Sometimes.

I will knock it, liberally. I will also try it.

[xavidub]

Fantastic post Danny Boy.

Had a Girlfriend years ago who was mad for back door action but to be honest, the associated smells do nothing for me. Haven't done it since and funnily enough, don't miss it at all.

[Slightly Less Mediocre Baron Bennekov]

Naaaah... I worked wonders! Forecast is already sometime mid-January!

Forecast was correct...

[Billy The Kid]

I see I've been vindicated

I knew I wasn't the only one

[Walshy7]

This post is inspired about the previous discussion of strap on's and men's holes.

Myself and the missus are going out just over 6 years now. She's a cracking girl and our sex life - thankfully - has always remained healthy thanks to the two of us making a serious effort in keeping things interesting. Barring an unforeseen  catastrophe of some sort I can’t see myself being with anyone else .

I was bit of late starter in the sex stakes and got involved in a couple of long boring relationships where sex was good at times, but got routine and boring very quickly.

I met my current girlfriend while starting college and straight away the sex was really good, with a lot of emphasis on the actual shagging and not having everything  solely geared towards either one of us coming as soon as respectably and acceptably possible.

Anyway, my bird is very open and interested in sexuality. I on the other hand, although I consider myself open, would have been more inclined to grin like an ejiit and mumble into my neck when talking to a bird about sex, even if it was someone I was actually having sexual relations with,

My missus has always maintained about the male g-spot being up the man's hole and I've had that conversation a load of times with different mates. Some  of my mates would  be  more open than others, and by open I mean some of them would have considered do they find dicks sexy in themselves and decided no, they are in fact straight , while the mere mention of dick other than their own to others would imply that you were a raging homo.

Anyway, so my missus had basically teased me over the years about sticking stuff up my arse and I'd decline, but over time we ended up talking more and more about, to the point where  it became an occasional topic of  post - coital - pillow talk....you know, after a particularly satisfying session, "well would you try this" or whatever.

So anyway, about a year and a half ago I got the missus some jelly arse beads, which I'd use on her every now again and she seemed to like.
She proposed them for me a couple of times but I said no. But after a bit of mad session last year around Xmas, feeling particularly hungover and cabaged horny, we were getting it on and I  proposed to her to try the beads on me. So gave it a try, the beads get bigger the more they go up, it felt very weird me lying there having these yolks pushed up into me, but the missus going down on me at the same time gave me the feeling of having some of the power/control back.

Talking about recovering the feeling of having control may sound terribly shit to women reading this but it is something that lads are typically conditioned to expect and associate with sex, rightly or wrongly.

Anyway, the experience was ok, the only actual stimulation I got from them was when the missus was pulling them out, slowly like, it was literally the same feeling as having a shit but without the mess but that was basically it. We swapped around so I was lying on her and she pulled them out of me but again, aside from the always nice feeling of having a shit there was nothing else to it really.

For me this was proof that g-spot thing was a load of twaddle and I told the missus that girls have just really underestimated how great having a crap really is for blokes.

So left it that with the beads, the missus would mention for them from time to time but I wasn't arsed - if you'll excuse the pun.  Then about 6 months, again after a bit of session, the next day in bits, myself and the missus got into again. I was horny as a toad and she was going down on me. I was looking for the biggest hit I could get orgasm wise so I said if she wanted to go again with the beads go for it.
So with a little bit of lube, a weird feeling, the beads went up as herself started to suck me off.  Man this time was different. Same feeling of weirdness with the beads going up, but when they came out, ever so slightly the feeling was exciting. Again like having a dump but not worried about leaving a mess. Anyway, she was pulling them out ever so slightly, and pressing them up, but the up part was/is uncomfortable so I told her to just leave it there, while continuing with the oral.

Anyway when we eventually got around to the final countdown with the blow job I told her to pull beads out when I was coming and I'd give her the signal.

I gave her the signal, well fuck me - pardon the pun, I've never had an orgasm like it.
I absolutely blew my load via the blow job, that will always feel good, but dovetailed with a feeling of having a giant slow dump without the actual dump, it knocked my socks off. It's funny though cos even when it's happening, the finale like, the feeling is so strange your kind of like "what the fuck is this woah" and it's uncomfortable in that sense. But taken as what it is, a satisfying anal exhale which accentuates the ejaculation, it’s very worthwhile chaps. Not for every day week or even month, but defo one to take out for the especially intimate occasions.

I actually mentioned this to a few of my mates a while ago and got the absolute shit slagged out of me, imagine that? Most  if not all of my texts now start with “alright marble balls”.

Anyway, with this post I've basically barred myself from any potential rawk meet ups and I'm double glad the last one I was to go to was cancelled.

Wow

[skooma]

How is this thread 22 pages? You'd think it'd just be two posts by people who got married yesterday 

[stevedo]

How is this thread 22 pages? You'd think it'd just be two posts by people who got married yesterday 

It's like the "does alien life exist?" thread. Plenty of people clinging onto the faint hope of it happening.

[rusty-la]

Just been in the US for a week on business. Flew home Friday, twelve hour flight, arrived home jet lagged, mono syballic but horny and not even a fkin look in.

I'm really fed up to be honest. Anyway, wake up in the morning, Saturday, and think game on.....she says her back hurts, blah blah.

Pour vino down her neck over the weekend, fck all.  she's always like this when I've been away for a while, like Ive got to prove my love or something because I've been away

I'm cool with the love thing.  But I'll tell you, if I don't blow my bags soon I'm going to fck some random bird right up the Gary Glitter.

Feel better now I've said it.

[Billy The Kid]

Pour vino down her neck over the weekend, fck all.  she's always like this when I've been away for a while

Maybe she was getting her shag on while you were away? Go easy on her lad, the girl might well be just exhausted

[rusty-la]

Maybe she was getting her shag on while you were away? Go easy on her lad, the girl might well be just exhausted

Feel better for that Billy 

[timiano]

Did Danny Boy delete his original post? It's only been quoted like a million times though :-)

[rusty-la]

Did Danny Boy delete his original post? It's only been quoted like a million times though :-)

What was the quote?

[timiano]

Surely  you didn't miss.....

This post is inspired about the previous discussion of strap on's and men's holes.

Myself and the missus are going out just over 6 years now. She's a cracking girl and our sex life - thankfully - has always remained healthy thanks to the two of us making a serious effort in keeping things interesting. Barring an unforeseen  catastrophe of some sort I can’t see myself being with anyone else .

I was bit of late starter in the sex stakes and got involved in a couple of long boring relationships where sex was good at times, but got routine and boring very quickly.

I met my current girlfriend while starting college and straight away the sex was really good, with a lot of emphasis on the actual shagging and not having everything  solely geared towards either one of us coming as soon as respectably and acceptably possible.

Anyway, my bird is very open and interested in sexuality. I on the other hand, although I consider myself open, would have been more inclined to grin like an ejiit and mumble into my neck when talking to a bird about sex, even if it was someone I was actually having sexual relations with,

My missus has always maintained about the male g-spot being up the man's hole and I've had that conversation a load of times with different mates. Some  of my mates would  be  more open than others, and by open I mean some of them would have considered do they find dicks sexy in themselves and decided no, they are in fact straight , while the mere mention of dick other than their own to others would imply that you were a raging homo.

Anyway, so my missus had basically teased me over the years about sticking stuff up my arse and I'd decline, but over time we ended up talking more and more about, to the point where  it became an occasional topic of  post - coital - pillow talk....you know, after a particularly satisfying session, "well would you try this" or whatever.

So anyway, about a year and a half ago I got the missus some jelly arse beads, which I'd use on her every now again and she seemed to like.
She proposed them for me a couple of times but I said no. But after a bit of mad session last year around Xmas, feeling particularly hungover and cabaged horny, we were getting it on and I  proposed to her to try the beads on me. So gave it a try, the beads get bigger the more they go up, it felt very weird me lying there having these yolks pushed up into me, but the missus going down on me at the same time gave me the feeling of having some of the power/control back.

Talking about recovering the feeling of having control may sound terribly shit to women reading this but it is something that lads are typically conditioned to expect and associate with sex, rightly or wrongly.

Anyway, the experience was ok, the only actual stimulation I got from them was when the missus was pulling them out, slowly like, it was literally the same feeling as having a shit but without the mess but that was basically it. We swapped around so I was lying on her and she pulled them out of me but again, aside from the always nice feeling of having a shit there was nothing else to it really.

For me this was proof that g-spot thing was a load of twaddle and I told the missus that girls have just really underestimated how great having a crap really is for blokes.

So left it that with the beads, the missus would mention for them from time to time but I wasn't arsed - if you'll excuse the pun.  Then about 6 months, again after a bit of session, the next day in bits, myself and the missus got into again. I was horny as a toad and she was going down on me. I was looking for the biggest hit I could get orgasm wise so I said if she wanted to go again with the beads go for it.
So with a little bit of lube, a weird feeling, the beads went up as herself started to suck me off.  Man this time was different. Same feeling of weirdness with the beads going up, but when they came out, ever so slightly the feeling was exciting. Again like having a dump but not worried about leaving a mess. Anyway, she was pulling them out ever so slightly, and pressing them up, but the up part was/is uncomfortable so I told her to just leave it there, while continuing with the oral.

Anyway when we eventually got around to the final countdown with the blow job I told her to pull beads out when I was coming and I'd give her the signal.

I gave her the signal, well fuck me - pardon the pun, I've never had an orgasm like it.
I absolutely blew my load via the blow job, that will always feel good, but dovetailed with a feeling of having a giant slow dump without the actual dump, it knocked my socks off. It's funny though cos even when it's happening, the finale like, the feeling is so strange your kind of like "what the fuck is this woah" and it's uncomfortable in that sense. But taken as what it is, a satisfying anal exhale which accentuates the ejaculation, it’s very worthwhile chaps. Not for every day week or even month, but defo one to take out for the especially intimate occasions.

I actually mentioned this to a few of my mates a while ago and got the absolute shit slagged out of me, imagine that? Most  if not all of my texts now start with “alright marble balls”.

Anyway, with this post I've basically barred myself from any potential rawk meet ups and I'm double glad the last one I was to go to was cancelled.

[Billy The Kid]

What was the quote?

Danny takes things up the arse

Disgusting, aint it?

[rusty-la]

Oh you mean THAT post 

[ThepepeReina]

First time seeing that, hahahaha

[Snail]

Wow.

Wow.

[jason42]

Wow.

Wow.

Is that like an "I have to get me some of those and a man who'll use 'em!" wow or an "Oh my God" wow?

[Lady_brandybuck]

Poor Dabby boy, the pipes, the pipes are calling