Author Topic: The Marital Sex thread... (Read 176274 times)

This thread got hilariously sad recently. The MARITAL sex thread and most the men are clambering for tips on how to please a woman? A sad state of affairs.

Corkboy · « **Reply #1166 on:** February 5, 2012, 07:30:50 pm »

Quote from: Enemy on February 5, 2012, 07:26:47 pm

This thread got hilariously sad recently. The MARITAL sex thread and most the men are clambering for tips on how to please a woman? A sad state of affairs.

Yeah. Men wanting to please their partners. How sad.

Enemy · « **Reply #1167 on:** February 5, 2012, 07:32:06 pm »

Married men (potentially) needing a PDF to do so is pretty sad from where I'm sat. I'd have thought they worked it out by the time they tied the knot.

Crosby Nick · « **Reply #1168 on:** February 5, 2012, 07:33:33 pm »

Quote from: Enemy on February 5, 2012, 07:32:06 pm

Married men (potentially) needing a PDF to do so is pretty sad from where I'm sat. I'd have thought they worked it out by the time they tied the knot.

Sex before marriage? You wicked hussy.

Enemy · « **Reply #1169 on:** February 5, 2012, 07:35:29 pm »

Quote from: Crosby Nick on February 5, 2012, 07:33:33 pm

Sex before marriage? You wicked hussy.

rafathegaffa83 · « **Reply #1170 on:** February 5, 2012, 07:35:54 pm »

Quote from: Crosby Nick on February 5, 2012, 07:33:33 pm

Sex before marriage? You wicked hussy.

Matt8Pie · « **Reply #1171 on:** February 5, 2012, 07:36:54 pm »

Quote from: Enemy on February 5, 2012, 07:26:47 pm

This thread got hilariously sad recently. The MARITAL sex thread and most the men are clambering for tips on how to please a woman? A sad state of affairs.

Not all women are easily pleased as you. A buy one get one free must set you off that you have to carry a spare pair of keks when you go shopping.

Enemy · « **Reply #1172 on:** February 5, 2012, 07:38:21 pm »

Quote from: Matt8Pie on February 5, 2012, 07:36:54 pm

Not all women are easily pleased as you. A buy one get one free must set you off that you have to carry a spare pair of keks when you go shopping.

Don't talk such filth.

Matt8Pie · « **Reply #1173 on:** February 5, 2012, 07:42:03 pm »

Quote from: Enemy on February 5, 2012, 07:38:21 pm

Don't talk such filth.

Barneylfc∗ · « **Reply #1174 on:** February 5, 2012, 07:51:17 pm »

I'm not actually married. But will be soon if she has her way. I have the sex life of a married man though.

And Could He Play · « **Reply #1175 on:** February 5, 2012, 08:09:20 pm »

Quote from: cflyenraB on February 5, 2012, 07:51:17 pm

I'm not actually married. But will be soon if she has her way. I have the sex life of a married man though.

Just make sure she doesn't have a drink the night before the wedding, she'll sleep right through it.

Anfield Kopite · « **Reply #1176 on:** February 5, 2012, 08:10:37 pm »

I reckon im decent with my technique. Middle aged now though and the bedroom activity is a bit routine which i reckon is par for the course. Still love her to bits though so wouldnt mind the chance to improve. Any chance some one could send me the pdf ?

And Could He Play · « **Reply #1177 on:** February 5, 2012, 08:12:32 pm »

Quote from: Anfield Kopite on February 5, 2012, 08:10:37 pm

I reckon im decent with my technique. Middle aged now though and the bedroom activity is a bit routine which i reckon is par for the course. Still love her to bits though so wouldnt mind the chance to improve. Any chance some one could send me the pdf ?

just go and buy a massive dildo.

Anfield Kopite · « **Reply #1178 on:** February 5, 2012, 08:14:34 pm »

Quote from: And Could He Play on February 5, 2012, 08:12:32 pm

just go and buy a massive dildo.

Already got a collection. Both a bit bored of them now.

Billy The Kid · « **Reply #1179 on:** February 5, 2012, 08:16:32 pm »

Enemy is just just jealous coz she's probably never had the pleasure of having her beef curtains properly tongue tickled

Barneylfc∗ · « **Reply #1180 on:** February 5, 2012, 08:16:49 pm »

Quote from: Anfield Kopite on February 5, 2012, 08:14:34 pm

Already got a collection. Both a bit bored of them now.

She seems happy enough when I use them on her

Enemy · « **Reply #1181 on:** February 5, 2012, 08:18:27 pm »

Quote from: Billy The Kid. on February 5, 2012, 08:16:32 pm

Enemy is just just jealous coz she's probably never had the pleasure of having her beef curtains properly tongue tickled

Not by a pdf I haven't.

Billy The Kid · « **Reply #1182 on:** February 5, 2012, 08:19:47 pm »

Quote from: Enemy on February 5, 2012, 08:18:27 pm

Not by a pdf I haven't.

You underestimate the power of the sacred text

Anfield Kopite · « **Reply #1183 on:** February 5, 2012, 08:20:00 pm »

Quote from: cflyenraB on February 5, 2012, 08:16:49 pm

She seems happy enough when I use them on her

Sound

Enemy · « **Reply #1184 on:** February 5, 2012, 08:24:18 pm »

Quote from: Billy The Kid. on February 5, 2012, 08:19:47 pm

You underestimate the power of the sacred text

I'm good thanks.

And Could He Play · « **Reply #1185 on:** February 5, 2012, 08:26:38 pm »

Quote from: cflyenraB on February 5, 2012, 08:16:49 pm

She seems happy enough when I use them on her

as long as its not your tool, shes happy

Billy The Kid · « **Reply #1186 on:** February 5, 2012, 08:26:39 pm »

Quote from: Enemy on February 5, 2012, 08:24:18 pm

I'm good thanks.

You really don't know what you're missing out on

Enemy · « **Reply #1187 on:** February 5, 2012, 08:27:15 pm »

Uhuh.

Billy The Kid · « **Reply #1188 on:** February 5, 2012, 08:27:48 pm »

Quote from: Enemy on February 5, 2012, 08:27:15 pm

Uhuh.

nom nom

danny boy the red · « **Reply #1189 on:** February 5, 2012, 08:44:30 pm »

Quote from: Enemy on February 5, 2012, 07:26:47 pm

This thread got hilariously sad recently. The MARITAL sex thread and most the men are clambering for tips on how to please a woman? A sad state of affairs.

Ah Enemy, that's not in the spirit of thread.

I'm an early 30's man - just about - and a lot of the stuff that gets mentioned regarding female orgasms just isn't as intuitive as it sounds.

Having an outside voice that suggests this or that and actually manages to correspond in reality to what it suggests is bleeding great for the interested reader.

The sole goal " sacred the text" is a female partner's pleasure and - in my mind - it does a great job of addressing a difficult topic with practical and accessible advice.

danny boy the red · « **Reply #1190 on:** February 5, 2012, 08:45:16 pm »

Quote from: Billy The Kid. on February 5, 2012, 08:27:48 pm

nom nom

Corkboy · « **Reply #1191 on:** February 5, 2012, 08:55:38 pm »

Quote from: danny boy the red on February 5, 2012, 08:44:30 pm

Ah Enemy, that's not in the spirit of thread.

I wouldn't bother. She seems like the sort of person who thinks going to Adult Literacy classes is pathetic.

TheMissionary · « **Reply #1192 on:** February 5, 2012, 09:03:39 pm »

Sacred text about how to make Mrs TheMissionary happy? Will it tell me how to use the hoover? Or how to work the washing machine? That type of thing?
(Had to makes sure there were no potential double entendres for you smarty pantses to pick up on........still not confident I've got it right)

Crosby Nick · « **Reply #1193 on:** February 5, 2012, 09:05:04 pm »

Quote from: TheMissionary on February 5, 2012, 09:03:39 pm

Sacred text about how to make Mrs TheMissionary happy? Will it tell me how to use the hoover? Or how to work the washing machine? That type of thing?
(Had to makes sure there were no potential double entendres for you smarty pantses to pick up on........still not confident I've got it right)

Fear not. Your name is amusement enough for this thread.

Enemy · « **Reply #1194 on:** February 5, 2012, 09:06:00 pm »

Quote from: corkboy on February 5, 2012, 08:55:38 pm

I wouldn't bother. She seems like the sort of person who thinks going to Adult Literacy classes is pathetic.

Out of left field that one.

TheMissionary · « **Reply #1195 on:** February 5, 2012, 09:09:36 pm »

Quote from: Crosby Nick on February 5, 2012, 09:05:04 pm

Fear not. Your name is amusement enough for this thread.

It refers to my position in life, not .......well, you know the rest.

Corkboy · « **Reply #1196 on:** February 5, 2012, 09:14:07 pm »

Quote from: Enemy on February 5, 2012, 09:06:00 pm

Out of left field that one.

You called men who were uneducated in sex "pathetic" and "sad". You said they should have learned it all by the time they got married. Substitute "reading" for "sex". In fact, substitute anything. I imagine if you can sneer at men for not being very sexually experienced, you could sneer at them for just about anything.

I could understand it if the men on here were all, well fuck that, I don't want to learn. But they do want to learn and you're calling it sad and pathetic. That's pretty shitty, isn't it?

Enemy · « **Reply #1197 on:** February 5, 2012, 09:17:27 pm »

Quote from: corkboy on February 5, 2012, 09:14:07 pm

You called men who were uneducated in sex "pathetic" and "sad". You said they should have learned it all by the time they got married. Substitute "reading" for "sex". In fact, substitute anything. I imagine if you can sneer at men for not being very sexually experienced, you could sneer at them for just about anything.

I could understand it if the men on here were all, well fuck that, I don't want to learn. But they do want to learn and you're calling it sad and pathetic. That's pretty shitty, isn't it?

You seem to be taking this all rather personally corkboy. I'm not going to apologise for finding it amusing that flocks of men are running to this pdf as if it has the answer to eternal life in it. Berate me as you see fit for thinking you should maybe talk to your wife/girlfriend instead of thinking women are all the same and you can learn it all from a book. As I think Rhi said earlier, we all know women are all the same after all.

Eileen · « **Reply #1198 on:** February 5, 2012, 09:28:11 pm »

Quote from: Enemy on February 5, 2012, 09:17:27 pm

You seem to be taking this all rather personally corkboy. I'm not going to apologise for finding it amusing that flocks of men are running to this pdf as if it has the answer to eternal life in it. Berate me as you see fit for thinking you should maybe talk to your wife/girlfriend instead of thinking women are all the same and you can learn it all from a book. As I think Rhi said earlier, we all know women are all the same after all.

I agree to be honest.

Corkboy · « **Reply #1199 on:** February 5, 2012, 09:29:09 pm »

Quote from: Enemy on February 5, 2012, 09:17:27 pm

You seem to be taking this all rather personally corkboy. I'm not going to apologise for finding it amusing that flocks of men are running to this pdf as if it has the answer to eternal life in it.

You didn't say you found it amusing. You said you found it sad and pathetic.

Quote from: Enemy on February 5, 2012, 09:17:27 pm

Berate me as you see fit for thinking you should maybe talk to your wife/girlfriend instead of thinking women are all the same and you can learn it all from a book.

Women aren't all the same. Some have no problem telling men what they want and some do. Some (dare I say it) may not know what they want. Sexual inexperience isn't confined to men.

Put it this way. If a woman came on here and said she could use some tips on sex, things her boyfriend/husband might like, would it be ok for me to call her sad and pathetic?