Anybody who's visited a GP to discuss issues about their personal happiness or other related issues, how have you opened discussion?
Every now and again I go through I period where I do wonder whether I need to speak to somebody and I feel like, during the last day or two, I've reached a point where it's become a sooner-or-later inevitability.
I don't know how to approach the topic once I get there though - although I overheard somebody having a conversation either mildly criticising or showing concern for me yesterday, I do feel as though I come across as quite cheerful and open in general.
There's plenty of things that I get pleasure from (I enjoyed a concert last night, play football regularly, ride the highs and the lows of this bloody club, have been seeing someone recently which seems to be going great, head home to see my family every few weeks having recently moved away again, have a beer at the weekend, normal stuff...) but I tend to feel like there's this cloud over me where I never quite let myself go and really enjoy these things whilst also failing to apply myself to some of the things that I need to (i.e. work, education).
It bothers me that that just sounds like 'well you enjoy the good fun stuff but are too lazy for the things that you have to work for' but, that being the case or not, it's not how I want things to be - I want to succeed in the projects I've got on at the moment because it all went arse-over a couple of years ago for one reason or another and, having taken a couple of years back home to sort myself out and get myself back into a position where I can make the most of the opportunities available, the last thing I want to do is waste it again. There were other issues the first time round and they were clear enough in my head to appreciate that, though I'd cocked up, I knew what I had to do to fix that. This time around, I just seem to be watching things unravel - as I've said, absolutely not what I want but I just feel there's something blocking me from applying myself in the manner in which I want to and should be doing.
I just don't know how I'm supposed to turn up and say "Against my will, I'm blowing an opportunity I've got whilst seeming to balance everything else precariously - I can see there are some issues and can roughly thread them together and see links but, if that's the case, why do I still feel as though there's a problem?"
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With regard to where I've mentioned thinking about needing a good talk every now and again, that's not a recent thing whilst seeing things start to go wrong in this one aspect again, it's been something I've thought for about 8 years probably. Always been a bit self-conscious - not in an embarrassed, there's something that people think's wrong with me way, just a sort of self-awareness/critical, over-analysis, way...like I said, I've always been quite friendly and open on the outside but never really get properly involved to an extent that I feel properly involved in a situation - socially, I've always sort of been a jack-of-all-trades, master-of-none type - outside of lots of different groups but always the forgettable one on the periphery. If I have gotten involved, I've tended to burn myself for it afterwards...I've no idea why. Guess I've felt more comfortable having close relationships with few than reasonable ones with many?
Don't quite know what I'm waffling about now, either - just troubleshooting.