Topic: Shanklyboy's and Fat Scousers ( Leo who's still alive ) auld arse thread

[rafa_thebosphorus]

The Mods are making a meal of Terry's name aren't they, maybe we should help them along a bit flw

I'll start with - Tandoori de Niro

flaggan de beero

[Johnny Foreigner]

These last posts have reminded me of my first recollection of your great city; rogue on the outside but a big heart..

My first visit was back in the 88/89 season where I was stuck in london on some kind of school trip. Reading through the papers as was the norm back then we found out that liverpool was playing qpr in a fa cup reply. 4 of us taking the train up; getting the tickets and crossigng the road over to the park. Struggling with the manners and the accents; getting served was a pain. Then this gentlemen coming over introducing himself and everything was sorted. Turned out our new found friend was a anfield steward..

Where are your seats lads ? anfield road - "sit down after the game and I'll sort you something" OK. winning 1-0 - john barnes penalty and being surrounded by the biggest crew of loons a 18 year old norwegian had ever witnessed - being a blast. in the 98 minutes - our friend showed up - walked us past the qpr fans - cue - coins, spitting etc, but then he took us to the dugout where we sat down and got our photos taken.. Probably the item I would take when the house is finally on fire..

that together with beating leeds, norwich and city on the week i discovered the guiness - great days..

Apart from that - merry x-mas to all you superstars in this thread and pls get our man back

with regards from mr chardonnay

[Jagged Princess]

flaggan de beero

That Swedish?

You know what 'rafa' love the 'boss for us' part of your UN

[pooley]

This thread has always been head and shoulders above anything else on this forum but all you lads and lasses have really upped the ante recently, absolute class, long may you reign!

[Terry de Niro]

Or hungry. 

Can't wait to see what they pick for Christmas Tinsel de Niro, Turkey de Niro. 

Can you still search for posts when your names changed 

Don't worry, you'll know it's me because I only post bollocks..

[Fat Scouser]

FS, did your son make it home?

No. But hopefully, he'll get here just as the dinner's going on the table, and then kip till he goes back to uni.

[Jagged Princess]

These last posts have reminded me of my first recollection of your great city; rogue on the outside but a big heart..

My first visit was back in the 88/89 season where I was stuck in london on some kind of school trip. Reading through the papers as was the norm back then we found out that liverpool was playing qpr in a fa cup reply. 4 of us taking the train up; getting the tickets and crossigng the road over to the park. Struggling with the manners and the accents; getting served was a pain. Then this gentlemen coming over introducing himself and everything was sorted. Turned out our new found friend was a anfield steward..

Where are your seats lads ? anfield road - "sit down after the game and I'll sort you something" OK. winning 1-0 - john barnes penalty and being surrounded by the biggest crew of loons a 18 year old norwegian had ever witnessed - being a blast. in the 98 minutes - our friend showed up - walked us past the qpr fans - cue - coins, spitting etc, but then he took us to the dugout where we sat down and got our photos taken.. Probably the item I would take when the house is finally on fire..

that together with beating leeds, norwich and city on the week i discovered the guiness - great days..

Apart from that - merry x-mas to all you superstars in this thread and pls get our man back

with regards from mr chardonnay

You know what Johnny this may come across wrong, it's not meant to but honestly, I don't think you could find more helpful, down to earth people anywhere.  My other half's cousin is retired now but you know, whenever he goes into town and he's asked by tourists about the Beatles, not only does he talk to them and bloody hell he can talk  but sometimes he gets on the bus with them and does a tour for them.  Soft auld get he is but seriously he is just your typical salt of the earth Scouser, who'd give you his last penny if he thought you needed it.

[flw]

I have a little Christmas Funny. As a youngster i was a bit of a rebel and was always getting into trouble of some kind or another. On this occasion i was singing in the church choir carol service.  Prior to that my friend had learnt how to whistle  through her fingers, but me  no matter how i tried i just couldnt do it , i had been trying all day to the point that every five mins i was putting fingers in mouth trying. Well then came the big moment....  all heads b owed in prayer  when suddenly out of my mouth came this massive loud whistle  !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!    all heads came up one head went down  lol  but to my astonishment every one  was laughing even the Vicar , but the strangest thing was that it was weeks again before i managed a whistle .     Happy Christmas every one

[Jagged Princess]

No. But hopefully, he'll get here just as the dinner's going on the table, and then kip till he goes back to uni.

Typical student eh and  I'm sure he'll make it home in time.

Don't worry, you'll know it's me because I only post bollocks..

I was thinking more along the lines of using it to your advantage

[jillcwhomever]

Typical student eh and  I'm sure he'll make it home in time.

I was thinking more along the lines of using it to your advantage

It is nice to come on here, and get away from some of those divs in the main site.!

[Johnny Foreigner]

You know what Johnny this may come across wrong, it's not meant to but honestly, I don't think you could find more helpful, down to earth people anywhere.  My other half's cousin is retired now but you know, whenever he goes into town and he's asked by tourists about the Beatles, not only does he talk to them and bloody hell he can talk  but sometimes he gets on the bus with them and does a tour for them.  Soft auld get he is but seriously he is just your typical salt of the earth Scouser, who'd give you his last penny if he thought you needed it.

Absolutely no worries  . I spent my first visits at tinas guest house which was like 50 yards away from annie road entrance. We were normally in a bad state when arriving home after a long day...  Waking up and on a guilt trip, but coming down for breakfast - you see Tommy waiting for yeah - "don't worrry lads - you were in a rough state last night, but you're good lads - heres your tea and breakkie..

And the wilsons sister of aachen - staying up to see your guests coming home from the london aways - thats service.

Bringing my lad over for the first time wittout his mum for the sparta game - can't wait 

And I'm not sure if i'll ever forgive my mum for having a crush on stevie h, but thats for another day

[Jagged Princess]

I’ve got one flw but wasn’t at Christmas though.  My mum used to work in the local sweet shop so whenever we bought ciggies with our dinner money, (when we didn’t have free meals that is) she’d always get to find out.  You could guarantee someone would tell her we’d been asking them to buy the ciggies for us.  Anyway one day she found out what we’d done, so she only rang the school and me and my mates,  about 5 of us were hauled into Mr Bank’s office and had to empty our bags, me I’d hid mine in my old green, fur lined mittens, bugger, he was just about finished searching my bag and found them.  At the same time though, one of the other girls, who wasn’t the brightest shall I say ‘passed wind ‘ at the exact same time but he never heard.  We all burst out laughing but me, soft arse whether through nerves at being caught or just scared of the auld get just couldn’t stop, I got a right shellacking of him that day, looked like he was going to burst a blood vessel his face was that red.   Got another shellacking and all when I got home. 

[casey]

Years ago when i was  in the Childrens home we had a little lad bought in  to our cottage, his name was Alex.He had come from a violent home, that  was all we knew of him. Being one of the older children i took charge of looking after him, He didnt speak for weeks but gradually i got him to talk.I used to take him for walks around the grounds. I was then allowed to take him to the Hospital where i usd to help him clear his chest, i never knew what was wrong with him until years later but he had cystic fibrosis, and the banging gently on his back was to loosen the mucus. He was a sickly lad, but i loved him and protected him, then the inevatable happenned. They decided to move me on to another place , a hostel for girls for my last year at school. I was heartbroken to be leaving Alex but i had no say in the matter.  My life after that drew me to people with specail needs.I worked in various residentials for handicapped people,  I became a baby carer for a while, then i used to do petterning for a little boy who was brain damaged. It was 24hr care, the patterning was to get the brain to function and accept  this part of the brain to make him walk  lift his arms  etc.   Then i was to find I was to have a special need child come into my life for the rest of my life. I am sure that all that went on before  was to prepare me for the job of a lifetime  lol.  My Grandaughter .Sometimes in my quieter moments when i reflect on lif, i shed a tear  for the life she will not have, but there is not another person on this earth that has bought so much joy to my life as she has. There is an aura  about these children  that oozes love from everyone that comes into contact with them. They seem to draw an inner quality from us. Well thats my little contribution .

Funny that I used to help with a swimming club for the disabled before I had my daughter.

[casey]

No. But hopefully, he'll get here just as the dinner's going on the table, and then kip till he goes back to uni.

The daughter arrived home at 9 o'clock tonight had a bowl of pea wack and went off to her bed.  Students a.

[NewHampshire_Exile]

Funny that I used to help with a swimming club for the disabled before I had my daughter.

I used to do that as whe I was younger. Great bunch of kids. a couple of them took a real shine to me so when we do away swim trips for a day one of them would always look after me and make sure I didn't have to carry my bags anywhere. That was a absloute guarentee that my sarnies would end up mashed and thermos broken before the day was out. What can you say though ? doing there best to help out and theres no way you can say no to them when they have it in thier mind what they are going to do

Took a bunch of them to an old peoples home for a bingo afternoon too. not sure who ended up more traumatised by it - the oldies, the kids or the helpers!! Those oldies sure took the bingo serious....

[gobshoite]

I've always wondered where the people of Lourdes go to when 'they' get sick?

[Fat Scouser]

I've always wondered where the people of Lourdes go to when 'they' get sick?

I backed a horse at 10 to 1. It was still running at half past 3!

[Fat Scouser]

The daughter arrived home at 9 o'clock tonight had a bowl of pea wack and went off to her bed.  Students a.

HA! Nice one. Soft lad's just called. He's on he's way home today. I'd best get the pans and the bed warmed up.

[SmithdownAndy]

HA! Nice one. Soft lad's just called. He's on he's way home today. I'd best get the pans and the bed warmed up.

Glad to hear it mate, hope he gets there safe and ye all have a boss chrimbo

[gobshoite]

Life's Imponderables

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ponder on these imponderables for a minute:-

1. If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times,
does he become disoriented?

2. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from
Holland called Holes?

3. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

4. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

5. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

6. Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

7. When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?

8. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person
who drives a racing car not called a racist?

9. Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?

10. Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?

11. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?

12. 'I am' is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language.

Could it be that 'I do' is the longest sentence?

13. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow
that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged,
models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

14. What hair colour do they put on the driver's license's of bald men?

15. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little
spoons and forks so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?


16. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What
are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their
pictures on the postage stamps so the postmen can look for them while
they deliver the mail?




       

[Dr. Beaker]

I've always wondered where the people of Lourdes go to when 'they' get sick?

Hospital.

[casey]

HA! Nice one. Soft lad's just called. He's on he's way home today. I'd best get the pans and the bed warmed up.

Glad to hear that FS they might be a pain but its good to see them, just woke herself up cos she needs to go into town with her dad.  Dont talk to me about pans herself ruined 2 of me good ones last time she was home.

[Fat Scouser]

Glad to hear that FS they might be a pain but its good to see them, just woke herself up cos she needs to go into town with her dad.  Dont talk to me about pans herself ruined 2 of me good ones last time she was home.

I got married and had children, and finally found out what true happiness is. Sadly, it was far too late for all that then, though.

(Some crackers there Gobo lad. I'm wrecking me head trying to come up with some. I know a few, but I'm a bit to addled at the minute).

[gobshoite]

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear crash helmets?

why do taxis have indicators?

Why is Hodgson still here?

[Fat Scouser]

Why is Roy still here?

Now that truly is mindboggling.

[Fat Scouser]

Just in case he get's past Crimbo, I'm sending Roy one of these for in the dug out...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2xZp-GLMMJ0&feature=related

I was going to start The Crimbo pressies for Roy thread with it. But I done one before with a picture of a P45. It lasted about 2 minutes and I got the usual slapped legs and made to stand in the corner.

[pooley]

Roy's Song.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s9U47pAMPnQ

[Rafa_La]

Permission to come on board?

Too nervy for main board.  He's a mountain closer to coming home!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Oh happy days

[Dr. Beaker]

My prezzie for Roy -

[Dr. Beaker]

Permission to come on board?

Too nervy for main board.  He's a mountain closer to coming home!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Oh happy days

47............ Hmmmmmmmmmmm...Scraped in - get peeling the spuds.

[vicgill]

My prezzie for Roy -

Ha Ha could be two ways to take that, 1. for Roy to stick his head in or 2. reminds me of a great man, who, whenever we lost he would clean the cooker at home.

[rusty-la]

Ha Ha could be two ways to take that, 1. for Roy to stick his head in or 2. reminds me of a great man, who, whenever we lost he would clean the cooker at home.

Must have had a dirty cooker

[Rafa_La]

47............ Hmmmmmmmmmmm...Scraped in - get peeling the spuds.

Slow work innit

[vicgill]

Must have had a dirty cooker

I have to say that there was a spell when it was gleaming and in showroom condition

[Terry de Niro]

Just heard from someone who posts on here, that Rafa was in the Farmers arms in Frankby last night, drinking Beck's.. 

[Dr. Beaker]

Always thought he was a spitter.

[vicgill]

Just heard from someone who posts on here, that Rafa was in the Farmers arms in Frankby last night, drinking Beck's.. 

Wasn't that you mate 

[Fat Scouser]

Just heard from someone who posts on here, that Rafa was in the Farmers arms in Frankby last night, drinking Beck's.. 

That's the lad, eh. To be honest, I've had a bit of a twat of a day, and the only thing that's really cheered me up is old Hodge Podge. What a nasty old shite he truly is. But I don't think he's thick. I reckon he's now trying to wangle himself the golden handshake and fuck off home. What a sly aul shite he is. They should strip him naked, tar and feather him and boot his arse all the way to Lime Street.

[Dr. Beaker]

That's the lad, eh. To be honest, I've had a bit of a twat of a day, and the only thing that's really cheered me up is old Hodge Podge. What a nasty old shite he truly is. But I don't think he's thick. I reckon he's now trying to wangle himself the golden handshake and fuck off home. What a sly aul shite he is. They should strip him naked, tar and feather him and boot his arse all the way to Lime Street.

Beautiful Plumage.

[Fat Scouser]

Marge Hodgson...