Author Topic: Struggling with depression  (Read 408029 times)

Offline Jwils21

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Re: Struggling with depression
« Reply #7240 on: September 17, 2020, 01:10:40 PM »
Honestly got a bit more perspective now. Boss new job and it's better every day. When it comes down to it people make their choices and my choices involve trying to get a new career going and my neighbours choices involved slagging off paths I was forced to take for the good of my family.


Boss outlook and glad you've got this perspective. You're dead right - people make their own choices. Let other people make their mistakes and in some cases live with their own negativity. It's up to you to choose what's best for you, and it looks like you're excelling at that. :champ
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Offline ToneLa

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Re: Struggling with depression
« Reply #7241 on: September 18, 2020, 05:13:44 PM »
Thanks everyone, I'm happy in my own skin but I can't be happy on forums. It's been proven over the years. When you speak, someone will shit on you. Or I am fundamentally broken or seek to otherwise instigate it unconsciously. Suppose it's a deep thing. I can't help but take it massively personally when it happens and I'm in a place where I'm just tired of the light going out. Good job I'm not on Twitter  ;D

I'm better off just doing my own thing.

But had some lovely words here, and I will walk away with the true feeling that people really can be decent. Each & every one of you is sound, there are some good hearts in this thread.

I'm not well, but it's a damn sight better than it could be. I'm going to shut myself off from the hurtful, horrible world and just continue my career, my music sideline, and supporting this wonderful club.

And for anyone else suffering depression; trust me, as bad as it gets, it's dark because it's a tunnel, and there's light at the end of every tunnel, and light at the top of every hole.

I'll be back.. some day... but if I'm not pouring my heart out I'm a target for everyone else or maybe I'm everything wrong with my life. Neither should stop the good things I do. Maybe it's time to just evolve, and be strong, do things my way, and be all I can be.

Much love.

T
X
« Last Edit: September 18, 2020, 05:17:10 PM by ToneLa »

Offline evie

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Re: Struggling with depression
« Reply #7242 on: September 20, 2020, 08:35:59 PM »
I'm learning photography right now.  Sometimes I still feel I crap when I'm out but at least I've gone out and not just watching TV.

Hopefully my photography skills will only improve. It's a nice feeling when I get a photo I'm happy with.

Anyone else have a hobby that they try to keep themselves busy with when struggling mentally?

Offline Red Berry

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Re: Struggling with depression
« Reply #7243 on: September 20, 2020, 10:00:19 PM »
I'm learning photography right now.  Sometimes I still feel I crap when I'm out but at least I've gone out and not just watching TV.

Hopefully my photography skills will only improve. It's a nice feeling when I get a photo I'm happy with.

Anyone else have a hobby that they try to keep themselves busy with when struggling mentally?

I'm still trying art, but I feel I've lost my passion for it a bit. to be honest I've lost passion for most things in life.  I think after being so same old for so long and struggling to overcome the fear of rejection and change the zest for life diminishes.  You just start thinking what's the point of it all.

I'm just trying to switch off and return to that feeling of childlike wonder I used to experience.
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Offline Djimigotamedal

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Re: Struggling with depression
« Reply #7244 on: September 21, 2020, 10:03:04 PM »
Never read this thread before, but just gone back and looked at a few pages and the help/advice people offer is really great.

The last couple of weeks/months have been rough for me personally with big lows. Starting to feel like Iím coming out the other side of it now though. Previously I have not had issues with mental health before, but the last six months with the situation of the world and working from home have made me feel like the loneliness man in the world at times. For me overthinking is a problem, I seem to analyse everything bad Iíve done in my life instead of realising the good things, with all this extra time on my own, itís left a hell of a lot more time for overthinking and at times my head has been absolutely frazzled.


Edit: Iím going to put my big boy pants on and write the biggest reason for feeling down, never know writing it might help . Start of the pandemic my (now ex) girlfriend got made to go back to her home country because of the type of visa she was on, we found it hard doing the long distance thing and broke up. Recently started seeing stuff on social media of her with a new fella and itís knocked me for six. Like I get maybe it wasnít meant to be or whatever and Iíve had breakups before so know the dance, but this coupled with the lockdown added loneliness has really hit me hard. Binned off social media for time being as just kept looking at stuff like I wanted to beat myself up about it.
« Last Edit: September 21, 2020, 10:23:53 PM by Djimigotamedal »

Offline damomad

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Re: Struggling with depression
« Reply #7245 on: Yesterday at 08:35:29 AM »


Good on you for taking a break from social media, a wise choice. I'm finding with the increased boredom/time alone, I've been reaching out to people I hadn't spoke to in years, some of them exes. I tell myself I'm just being friendly but a darker side kind of wishes they aren't doing all that great and maybe still thinking of me. It's either that or I want to see them happy and in a relationship so I can feel sorry for myself, have some fuel for the loneliness fire.

Then if I look at it with a clear head, I really do want them to be happy because they are good people, it could never have worked (mainly due to distance like yourself) and I just need to focus my mind on something I can control. It's a great step that you can acknowledge what you are doing and putting the blocks in place. I went full kaboot and deleted Facebook (which I regret now) but I'd definitely recommend deactivating and taking a time out to focus on other things.
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Re: Struggling with depression
« Reply #7246 on: Yesterday at 10:36:44 AM »
Quick update on my situation.

Today we are celebrating our 13th wedding anniversary and everything is going great. A few months ago we were heading for divorce, I was no better and getting worse and things were just shit. Then I decided to read The Chimp Paradox, which our kid bought me when my anxiety and depression really started and what an eye opener that was. I also got a couple of PM's on here which were extremely helpful (thanks, you know who you are) I took on board the things Steve Peters said, change my way of thinking, followed his advice, put things into practice and for the first time in years I actually feel happy and content with my life. I've found that things I couldn't be arsed doing are now a breeze, things I'd have said no to, like a day out at Flamingoland or driving my son to Stafford for a 10 minute drive in a Lambo, are no big deal and I'm happy to take the time to do this. Things that would drag me down now are water off a ducks back - the car is being worked on right now, I'm hoping to £75 of parts I've bought are enough, but if it turns out expensive, so be it, it'll get fixed in the end.

Me and the wife now walk every day, we go for coffees, we have a date night every week were we go out for a couple of hours for a meal and we just chill together and enjoy each others company.

I've learnt not to sweat the stuff I cannot change. yes I'm angry about the mismanagement of Covid and Brexit, but instead of letting it consume me, I just let it go.

Things aren't perfect, but when I notice myself slipping, I think about the book, what it says and I apply that and it gets me back on track.

Not saying this will work for everyone, but I'd recommend giving the book a go

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Chimp-Paradox-Acclaimed-Management-Confidence/dp/B006WCJ9OS/ref=sr_1_1?adgrpid=52586602309&dchild=1&gclid=CjwKCAjwwab7BRBAEiwAapqpTIA_eAM1209z1AScMiDu1BCoOziWHKVEoi3sOW0ZdrUoffp7DN2EOBoCcqkQAvD_BwE&hvadid=259022408379&hvdev=c&hvlocphy=9046455&hvnetw=g&hvqmt=e&hvrand=12744717668743103229&hvtargid=kwd-300246666130&hydadcr=24403_1748879&keywords=the+chimp+paradox&qid=1600767009&sr=8-1&tag=googhydr-21

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Re: Struggling with depression
« Reply #7247 on: Yesterday at 10:51:52 AM »
Nice one Rob!

Offline John C

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Re: Struggling with depression
« Reply #7248 on: Yesterday at 08:41:43 PM »
Yeah, great to hear that Rob. Keep it up mate.
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Re: Struggling with depression
« Reply #7249 on: Yesterday at 08:54:01 PM »
That's great to hear Rob.

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Re: Struggling with depression
« Reply #7250 on: Yesterday at 09:38:33 PM »
That's great to hear Rob hope it continues to go well for you.  :)
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Re: Struggling with depression
« Reply #7251 on: Yesterday at 09:46:38 PM »
I'm learning photography right now.  Sometimes I still feel I crap when I'm out but at least I've gone out and not just watching TV.

Hopefully my photography skills will only improve. It's a nice feeling when I get a photo I'm happy with.

Anyone else have a hobby that they try to keep themselves busy with when struggling mentally?

Yes my Art, though I should be writing by now but the Art is a nice distraction to have. The great thing about it is I can put the music on and transport myself to a much better place. It's hard not getting down from time to time with everything going on in the world. I don't suffer from depression in the way others do on here, but I have to say being on your own through the present situation has proved a challenge mentally. It's why I sometimes have to make an effort not to listen to the news if its really bad. The other side to going through something like this, is it lets you reconnect with things that before you maybe didn't have time to do. Like learn a new hobby or do an old one. It's nice making the best of the simple things in life which we perhaps take for granted in more normal times, such as family, nature and friends. Best of luck with your photography Evie.  :)
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