Topic: Spiders....

[Sir Harvest Fields]

Id chew the big hairy bastards legs off one by one and let the multi-eyed ankle biting fuckers watch me as i laugh, as i deep fry each one in batter and eat it in front of it. Then id bite the little/big bastard and see how he likes it. Yea, im fucking hard me, fuck all scares me.................................not even tarantulas that crawl over your ballsack in the night whilst trying to sleep. No sir, i was cool as a cucumber as this big hairy thing crawled over me lucky jewels before i twatted the bugger upside the head with a deft swipe of my shovel sized grappling machine. Told the bird to use imac before she comes to bed the daft mare.How was i to know it was her hehehehe.

Actually im terrified of spiders. Id boot the bastards in the grid before running off down the road screaming like Mouth would if Amir was chasing him

[soxfan]

A little survey:

A. Are you afraid of spiders?

or

B. You don't mind spiders but hate getting surprised by them (and other creepies)?

My answer is B.

[kellan]

A little survey:

A. Are you afraid of spiders?

or

B. You don't mind spiders but hate getting surprised by them (and other creepies)?

My answer is B.

B. I'm the designated spider catcher in this house. Not because I want to be, but because I'm the only one who doesn't run a mile. I think after a while I stopped being scared of them out of necessity. I knew that if I didn't get rid of the feckers, nobody else would.

I was sat in the dark last night on the laptop. I noticed there was something on edge of the screen but couldn't figure out what it was. I went to flick it off thinking it was some kind of dirt, and just before I touched it, it moved and ran across the screen. I nearly threw the laptop across the room. I never usually jump when I see one - it's usually a split second of surprise and then "ugh, not another one" - but this one last night nearly gave me a heart attack. It was big enough, but it looked even bigger with the screen light shining from underneath it. I'm sitting with the lights on tonight.

[Motty]

B) don't mind them as long as I can kill the fuckers so they don't crawl in to my mouth when I'm asleep. My having to kill them comes from waking up as a kid in bed with one basically eye ball to eye ball with me, think he wanted a go at me like and when I was 16 and staying with this girl in Wrexham I trapped one in a big glass vase and swear to god it was jumping.up at least a foot to the top of the vase for couple of hours at least , fucking mad little git that , so if in doubt snuff it out

[Millie]

I dont mind them really - I am the designated spider get ridder in our house - and I am the only female!

[Mouth]

Like these trees in India (I think) after flooding.  All the spiders headed for higher ground!

Yup after flooding.

Trees cocooned in spiders webs after flooding in Sindh, Pakistan

An unexpected side-effect of the flooding in parts of Pakistan has been that millions of spiders climbed up into the trees to escape the rising flood waters.

Because of the scale of the flooding and the fact that the water has taken so long to recede, many trees have become cocooned in spiders webs. People in this part of Sindh have never seen this phenonemon before - but they also report that there are now less mosquitos than they would expect, given the amoungt of stagnant, standing water that is around.

It is thought that the mosquitos are getting caught in the webs, which would be one blessing for the people of Sindh, facing so many other hardships after the floods.





Oh and look for scale on this one...

[jaffod]

I fucking hate spiders. Since we put laminate floor down about 6 years ago we haven't had one in the living room, I reckon it was because the wood was quite light in colour and would have exposed the little fuckers. Anyway, we replaced the floor last week and tonight there's a fucking spider in there, not a big leggy one that runs faster than Usain Bolt but it's got quite a big body and short legs....hope it's not a sign of things to come.

[androulla]

It's that time of year ....they seem to be everywhere.....I hate spiders!!
They frighten the life out of me!!!!!!

[Andy @ Allerton!]

Ha ha ha. Got the study light off, typing away and *something* flashed in front of the monitor, landed on my hand and scooted.

Got up, turned the light on and there was a massive fuck off spider. No idea where it came from. It was a 'legs bigger than a pint glass one' really fast. Anyway it's legged it under the V+ Box. Better not go in there and wreck my recordings.

[Andy @ Allerton!]

Just looked up. My pet spider is HUGE now. Never seen a spider so big, but he stays in his web mostly. Dunno where this other one came from.

[swoopy]

Opened a box of wine at work yesterday to begin stocking the chiller we have. Shoved my hand in the box and picked a bottle out, as I did so I felt a tingling on my wrist..... looked down and some fucker was running down my hand and into the fridge... stupid thing ran THROUGH the grate though and down into the fans which keep the big fridge cold... Saw it try to run up and out again a few times but the fans just blew it straight back down again. Think it was doomed

[Red James]

It's that time of year ....they seem to be everywhere.....I hate spiders!!
They frighten the life out of me!!!!!!

Aye September is the month they appear. Keep all my windows closed and the bath plug in. Fucking hate the creepy bastards. Not as many appear with the normal entry points sealed but I've still seen two sat on the wall chilling so far.

Just looked up. My pet spider is HUGE now. Never seen a spider so big, but he stays in his web mostly. Dunno where this other one came from.

You're insane.

[Big Red Richie]

Funny. I havent seen a spider in months.

Two nights running now, I've had to catch one in my bedroom.

The huge motherf*cker I caught last night just sat there staring at me, before I scooped it up. Tonights one I had to chase across the duvet.


I don't know whether that says more about the spiders or my lack of housekeeping.

[Big Red Richie]

To use the footballing parlance: 'you've lost the dressing room, gaffer'

And here's me thinking if would be effes referencing me on the 'Tonights one I had to chase across the duvet', line. 

[general change if that's easier]

Those Pakistani tree spider thingo's are pretty cute...
 

[BRdispatch05]

"I think I'll check RAWK before I go to bed...oh look the spider thread!"

 

[rob1408]

Last year I went to Australia to see the inlaws.  Their next door neighbours have two boys, probably about 11 and 12. These kids used to go out into the barn and catch black widows in a jam jar.  Absolutely mental, but I suppose its what you're used to.

[buzzing]

^^ OMG that's mental (pakistani pics)

[djphal]

I used to hate spiders, now I am happy to find them as they are a good source of protein for the beast

Meet Pablo, Pablo likes spiders, he eats them

[Danny Boys Dad]

Just been out in the hall and as I opened the living room door into the dark hallway a large hairy spider ran away from the doorway, It must have been sitting under the door watching the Murray match. It froze halfway across the hall which was a mistake on it's part. I stood still so as not to spook it and called for the Argos catalogue which I then dropped on it from about 4ft.

[Cre_mCr_cker]

Hate the fuckers, they scare the shit out of me, last Christmas day we were doing the whole traditional opening the stocking presents in my parents room thing and we were doing it fucking early because my brother's still young enough to be into the whole christmas thing. Anyway I planned to go back to sleep after the stocking thing so I just whacked an old dressing gown on, midway through unwrapping a gift I felt a tickling on my neck and my mum shrieked. A big, fuck off spider had crawled out the dressing gown. Needless to say I jumped up, ripped the dressing gown off and ran naked through the house wiping imaginary spiders off my body. Worst. Christmas. Ever.

[Mark Walters]

I've seen an incredible amount of spiders around the house this year.  Normally it's only 1 or 2 big ones a year.  I've been lucky so far as they one's I've seen have been mainly no bigger than a 5p piece.  Still, I crush the fuckers cos if I leave them there they'll ultimately grow into big scary bastards!

[Danny Boys Dad]

I crush the fuckers cos if I leave them there they'll ultimately grow into big scary bastards!

Interesting that. The biggest spiders always seem to be in the loft or the garage or the shed, somewhere where they don't get disturbed much, don't get killed and can get lots of food. Is there a limit to how big a normal house spider could get if it was well fed and left alone or could they end up like 3 feet across or something?

Doesn't bear thinking about 

[Anywhichwayicant]

A few months ago I was about to go to sleep when I noticed a BIG fucker (about the size of my palm) in the corner of my room. Now, usually, I would get out of there and get my mum to get rid of it (she's the only one of us that isn't terrified of them, and even she gets wobbly around the big'uns) but she was already asleep, I was knackered and I had to get up early. This was when I made the terrible mistake - the mistake that I will never again repeat, no matter how tired I am, no matter how on-the-opposite-side-of-the-room from me the spider is. I turned off my light and went to sleep.

A few hours later - it was probably about 5am because it was getting light outside - I woke up. For a good few seconds I was lying there trying to work out what had woken me up. Still half-asleep, I felt a sort of tickling feeling on my cheek and assuming it was my hair, I went to brush my cheek. The tickling sensation moved quickly to my chin and then to my other cheek. That's odd, I thought, and then I found myself peering over at the corner where the spider had previously been. It was no longer there.

I cannot explain the feeling of cold dread that consumed my body as I slowly sat up in bed, reached over to turn on the light and looked in my mirror to see the malicious c*nt chilling out on my face.

I'd take that as a compliment.

[soxfan]

I used to hate spiders, now I am happy to find them as they are a good source of protein for the beast

Meet Pablo, Pablo likes spiders, he eats them

I love Oscars! 

In fairness, Pablo would probably eat your business card, cell phone or your car keys if you threw them in his tank, no? They're rather hungry all the time.   

[Mark Walters]

Interesting that. The biggest spiders always seem to be in the loft or the garage or the shed, somewhere where they don't get disturbed much, don't get killed and can get lots of food. Is there a limit to how big a normal house spider could get if it was well fed and left alone or could they end up like 3 feet across or something?

Doesn't bear thinking about 

How big it gets depends on the species I suppose.  Don't think the ones in the UK would get as big as some of those posted in this thread but big enough to make you a bit nervous and reach for a rolled up newspaper!

[Crosby Nick]

We have ivy growing all up the back of the house. Was out there earlier and looked up and the entire bastard thing is covered in webs at the moment. I think (hope) for the most part it is just those garden spiders who never venture indoors but bound to be some nasty fuckers in there too.

One was tucking into a wasp yesterday, checked a few hours later and the wasp had completely gone. Greedy twat.

[Andy @ Allerton!]

We have ivy growing all up the back of the house. Was out there earlier and looked up and the entire bastard thing is covered in webs at the moment. I think (hope) for the most part it is just those garden spiders who never venture indoors but bound to be some nasty fuckers in there too.

One was tucking into a wasp yesterday, checked a few hours later and the wasp had completely gone. Greedy twat.

Without spiders you'd be overrun with all manner of insects. Spiders are our friends.

[Crosby Nick]

Without spiders you'd be overrun with all manner of insects. Spiders are our friends.

Fair point Andy, but it's all about the boundaries for me. As with my other friends, I don't really want them hanging around in my bedroom when I'm trying to sleep, or sneaking up on me and making me jump 'for a laugh'.

[Mashy-rawr!nooo]

It's sitting on your shoulder. Looking at you with it's little beady eyes.. Creeping.. oh.. so.. slowly up.. as it raises up.. and slowly.. slowly... so.. so.. so.. so.. slowly.. lifts it's leg.. to tickle.. your... ear.... tickle.. tickle.. and then run and dive into your earhole

You aren't getting in my ear you little bastards

[djphal]

I love Oscars! 

In fairness, Pablo would probably eat your business card, cell phone or your car keys if you threw them in his tank, no? They're rather hungry all the time.   

haha yeah pretty much, he is a hungry little bastard!

[Andy @ Allerton!]

Fair point Andy, but it's all about the boundaries for me. As with my other friends, I don't really want them hanging around in my bedroom when I'm trying to sleep, or sneaking up on me and making me jump 'for a laugh'.

http://www.meadowtreasures.com/spiderfacts.htm

The weight of insects eaten by spiders every year is greater than the total weight of the entire human population. It has been estimated that there can be up to nearly 5 million spiders per hectare.

[Mouth]

Interesting that. The biggest spiders always seem to be in the loft or the garage or the shed, somewhere where they don't get disturbed much, don't get killed and can get lots of food. Is there a limit to how big a normal house spider could get if it was well fed and left alone or could they end up like 3 feet across or something?

Doesn't bear thinking about 

Hahaha no, the giant tarantulas, the Goliath bird eating spider is the biggest, well second biggest, the Huntsman is the biggest, but they are spindly next to the Goliath. They are the biggest we are going to have around at the moment. They maybe used to be bigger in prehistoric times, but not by much really.

But they do find new ones from time to time, like this one -

Scientists have unearthed a completely new species of spider hiding in sand dunes on the Israel-Jordan border.
 
With a legspan that stretches 5.5 inches, the spider, called Cerbalus aravensis





http://www.wired.com/wiredscience/2010/01/giant-middle-eastern-spider-discovered/

[AB LFC]

They only appear a few times a year but when they do, fuck me! Few months ago after a hard days work took my shoes off, put my bag down and was about to go upstairs for a nice lie-down untill I saw a massive one sat on the steps, just waiting to eat me. Couldn't go up until my mum came home, told her to hoover the fucker.

Not sure why I'm so scared of them, it's just the way they look and the colour. Why do others fear them so much? Even the small ones creep me out

[AB LFC]

Oh and those spider trees seriously need to be burnt down. Fuckin hell, the ones in there are huge

[Ziltoid]

Another 3 in the house last night; I think that's 8 in the last 5 days. 

[Crosby Nick]

Another 3 in the house last night; I think that's 8 in the last 5 days. 

None yet. I'm either incredibly fortunate, incredibly blind or they're just trolling me and planning some massive twist just when I think I've survived spider season.

[kellan]

I'm typing this from the stairs in my house. There is one massive mean looking mother fucker sat in the corner between the wall and the ceiling. It's taunting me. I have absolutely no chance of catching it, or even reaching it, with anything, because the ceiling is really high on my stairs.

So here I am, sat on the stairs just watching it, and putting my whole day on hold as I wait for it to move to somewhere else. I'm refusing to let it out of my sight because I'll not sleep if I know it's roaming around my house come bedtime. Usually I wouldn't care, but this one is far to big to leave it. So well done Mr. Spider - I'll get you eventually, but you've still won.

[AB LFC]

I'm typing this from the stairs in my house. There is one massive mean looking mother fucker sat in the corner between the wall and the ceiling. It's taunting me. I have absolutely no chance of catching it, or even reaching it, with anything, because the ceiling is really high on my stairs.

So here I am, sat on the stairs just watching it, and putting my whole day on hold as I wait for it to move to somewhere else. I'm refusing to let it out of my sight because I'll not sleep if I know it's roaming around my house come bedtime. Usually I wouldn't care, but this one is far to big to leave it. So well done Mr. Spider - I'll get you eventually, but you've still won.

Throw something small at it, prompting it to move. Then when its within reach, drop a catalogue on it or trap it under a jug you dont use anymore. Job done.

[Crosby Nick]

Throw something small at it, prompting it to move. Then when its within reach, drop a catalogue on it or trap it under a jug you dont use anymore. Job done.

How do people put a glass or jug over one? If you're scared enough when you see one on the wall then it's a pretty tough ask to expect to be able to stand right over one to trap it. And even then, if you've knocked it off the wall in the first place it's going to run for its life rather than stand there and let you trap it isn't it? Genuine question because I've never had the bollocks to put a glass over one!