A few months ago I was about to go to sleep when I noticed a BIG fucker (about the size of my palm) in the corner of my room. Now, usually, I would get out of there and get my mum to get rid of it (she's the only one of us that isn't terrified of them, and even she gets wobbly around the big'uns) but she was already asleep, I was knackered and I had to get up early. This was when I made the terrible mistake - the mistake that I will never again repeat, no matter how tired I am, no matter how on-the-opposite-side-of-the-room from me the spider is. I turned off my light and went to sleep.
A few hours later - it was probably about 5am because it was getting light outside - I woke up. For a good few seconds I was lying there trying to work out what had woken me up. Still half-asleep, I felt a sort of tickling feeling on my cheek and assuming it was my hair, I went to brush my cheek. The tickling sensation moved quickly to my chin and then to my other cheek. That's odd, I thought, and then I found myself peering over at the corner where the spider had previously been. It was no longer there.
I cannot explain the feeling of cold dread that consumed my body as I slowly sat up in bed, reached over to turn on the light and looked in my mirror to see the malicious c*nt chilling out on my face.
