Author Topic: The Laugh at Manchester United Thread or the 'Ban Thread' for idiots....?.  (Read 1255312 times)

Offline Samie

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Re: José Mourinho - Storming up the table like a boss. Best team ever.
« Reply #11600 on: March 19, 2017, 02:19:18 pm »
It's good to make fun of them and yes, they are a shit, underachieving bunch of assholes - but if they win their game in hand - we're level on points with them.

we have better goal difference.  :P

Online jillcwhomever

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Re: José Mourinho - Storming up the table like a boss. Best team ever.
« Reply #11601 on: March 19, 2017, 02:22:41 pm »
It's good to make fun of them and yes, they are a shit, underachieving bunch of assholes - but if they win their game in hand - we're level on points with them.

They also have a lot of tricky fixtures coming up, no way are they going to not drop points.
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Offline NaivetyinBlack

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Re: José Mourinho - Storming up the table like a boss. Best team ever.
« Reply #11602 on: March 19, 2017, 02:23:58 pm »
It's good to make fun of them and yes, they are a shit, underachieving bunch of assholes - but if they win their game in hand - we're level on points with them.

I know ! And looking at their upcoming fixtures combined with the dominance over the mighty Riversiders, the corner has not just turned, it has been demolished to a street so flat their drive to the top seems inevitable.

Jose Mourinho is a god among men.

Offline sms1986

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Re: José Mourinho - Storming up the table like a boss. Best team ever.
« Reply #11603 on: March 19, 2017, 02:24:41 pm »
It's good to make fun of them and yes, they are a shit, underachieving bunch of assholes - but if they win their game in hand - we're level on points with them.

That's a shame, we must have lost the game against City then?

Offline Barneylfc∗

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Re: José Mourinho - 7th Nòooooooooooooooòoooooooooo
« Reply #11604 on: March 19, 2017, 02:27:21 pm »
I'll hand them fucking nothing, look at their squad and the amount of money they spent.


Fuck them

 :lmao
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Online jillcwhomever

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Re: José Mourinho - Storming up the table like a boss. Best team ever.
« Reply #11605 on: March 19, 2017, 02:28:19 pm »
I know ! And looking at their upcoming fixtures combined with the dominance over the mighty Riversiders, the corner has not just turned, it has been demolished to a street so flat their drive to the top seems inevitable.

Jose Mourinho is a god among men.

Well to be fair some on here thought he wasn't good enough for us, well he's proving them wrong now isn't he. He has still got, no doubt about it.  :thumbup
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Offline Andy @ Allerton!

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Re: José Mourinho - Storming up the table like a boss. Best team ever.
« Reply #11606 on: March 19, 2017, 02:29:36 pm »
It's good to make fun of them and yes, they are a shit, underachieving bunch of assholes - but if they win their game in hand - we're level on points with them.


Quote from: tubby on Today at 12:45:53 pm

They both went in high, that's factually correct, both tried to play the ball at height.  Doku with his foot, Mac Allister with his chest.

Offline Andy82lfc

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Re: José Mourinho - Storming up the table like a boss. Best team ever.
« Reply #11607 on: March 19, 2017, 02:36:38 pm »
They are absolutely dog shit, what another fine example of a turgid shit performance sneaking past minnows.

The fact that their supporters seem to be happy with their current situation is just fantastic.

I have to admit I was once unsure of what Mourinho would do, now i've seen that he is not only cementing them with top 6 credentials and getting rid of any ambitions of domination, he is also dragging their club down to new classless lows acting like the spoilt, petulant meff that he is. 

Thank you shit coat, please give the man whatever contract he wants!  :D

Offline Crosby Nick

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Re: José Mourinho - Storming up the table like a boss. Best team ever.
« Reply #11608 on: March 19, 2017, 02:36:42 pm »
Just figured it'd be appropriate to post in this thread



Paging Al 555 to the Mourinho thread, that's Al 555 to the Mourinho thread immediately.

Offline Andy @ Allerton!

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Re: José Mourinho - Storming up the table like a boss. Best team ever.
« Reply #11609 on: March 19, 2017, 02:39:30 pm »
Paging Al 555 to the Mourinho thread, that's Al 555 to the Mourinho thread immediately.

:D
Quote from: tubby on Today at 12:45:53 pm

They both went in high, that's factually correct, both tried to play the ball at height.  Doku with his foot, Mac Allister with his chest.

Offline didi shamone

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Re: José Mourinho - Storming up the table like a boss. Best team ever.
« Reply #11610 on: March 19, 2017, 02:46:01 pm »
They made seven changes from the team that beat Rostov. And people say Jose has no sense of humour.

Offline xhaxhi

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Re: José Mourinho - Storming up the table like a boss. Best team ever.
« Reply #11611 on: March 19, 2017, 02:50:40 pm »
They made seven changes from the team that beat Rostov. And people say Jose has no sense of humour.

Finished the game with 7 defenders too

Offline John C

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Re: José Mourinho - Storming up the table like a boss. Best team ever.
« Reply #11612 on: March 19, 2017, 02:51:43 pm »
Paging Al 555 to the Mourinho thread, that's Al 555 to the Mourinho thread immediately.
;D

Offline dalarr

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Re: José Mourinho - Storming up the table like a boss. Best team ever.
« Reply #11613 on: March 19, 2017, 03:28:04 pm »
They even did it without The Best Midfielder Ever. Credit where credit is due.

Offline Andy @ Allerton!

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Re: José Mourinho - Storming up the table like a boss. Best team ever.
« Reply #11614 on: March 19, 2017, 03:31:12 pm »
The #SWAGGER is back.

The RAWK thread makes a triumphant return!
Quote from: tubby on Today at 12:45:53 pm

They both went in high, that's factually correct, both tried to play the ball at height.  Doku with his foot, Mac Allister with his chest.

Online jillcwhomever

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Re: José Mourinho - Storming up the table like a boss. Best team ever.
« Reply #11615 on: March 19, 2017, 03:37:12 pm »
Love the title of the thread wholly appropriate for a watershed moment.
"He's trying to get right away from football. I believe he went to Everton"

Offline Tonyh8su

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Re: José Mourinho - Storming up the table like a boss. Best team ever.
« Reply #11616 on: March 19, 2017, 04:01:48 pm »
Six at the back against Middlesbrough. And Van Gaal was sacked for playing turgid football. And they're in the stands singing "I'm into something good". It's absolutely embarrassing. Joyous to witness though!

Offline Andy @ Allerton!

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Re: José Mourinho - Storming up the table like a boss. Best team ever.
« Reply #11617 on: March 19, 2017, 04:05:17 pm »
Six at the back against Middlesbrough. And Van Gaal was sacked for playing turgid football. And they're in the stands singing "I'm into something good". It's absolutely embarrassing. Joyous to witness though!

It's brilliant isn't it?

Quote from: tubby on Today at 12:45:53 pm

They both went in high, that's factually correct, both tried to play the ball at height.  Doku with his foot, Mac Allister with his chest.

Offline thelinnen

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Re: José Mourinho - Storming up the table like a boss. Best team ever.
« Reply #11618 on: March 19, 2017, 07:24:07 pm »
Six at the back against Middlesbrough. And Van Gaal was sacked for playing turgid football. And they're in the stands singing "I'm into something good". It's absolutely embarrassing. Joyous to witness though!
They did the same with Van Gaal. Convinced themselves that the 'pragmatic' football was just until they qualified for the Champions League, then he would turn on the style.
Then in the midddle out pops a smiling glen johnson pulling up his jersey to reveal a t-shirt of suarez with a text saying. "OUR SUAREZ IS A FRIEND TO ALL COLOURS!"

Offline Lush is the best medicine...

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Re: José Mourinho - Storming up the table like a boss. Best team ever.
« Reply #11619 on: March 19, 2017, 07:33:37 pm »
Looks like the Manchester derby is set for the 27th April, so their fixtures are:

West Brom (H) – Sat 1 Apr
Everton (H) – Tue 4 Apr
Sunderland (A) – Sun 9 Apr
Anderlecht (A) – Thu 13 Apr
Chelsea (H) – Sun 16 Apr
Anderlecht (H) – Thu 20 Apr
Burnley (A) – Sun 23 Apr
Man City (A) – Thu 27 April
Swansea (A) – Sun 30 April

And there is the southampton game to be rearranged, plus they should get the Europa league semis which are the first two Thursdays of may, so it looks like from the first of April to 21st may they could have 15 games, or add a few days if they get to the Europa final it's 16 in 54 days and a game every 3/4 games for the rest of the season!

Jose gonna have to prioritise soon, just a shame they couldn't get to the semis of the cup as their league form would be really fucked

Offline cornelius

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Re: José Mourinho - Storming up the table like a boss. Best team ever.
« Reply #11620 on: March 19, 2017, 09:07:35 pm »
Jose gonna have to prioritise soon
Yes good that they haven't put all their eggs in one basket just yet. Given how shite they've been all season long it's hard to see them successfully negotiating their remaining fixtures with a successful outcome.

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Re: José Mourinho - Storming up the table like a boss. Best team ever.
« Reply #11621 on: March 19, 2017, 09:13:54 pm »
Yes good that they haven't put all their eggs in one basket just yet. Given how shite they've been all season long it's hard to see them successfully negotiating their remaining fixtures with a successful outcome.
if he'd rotated a bit more earlier on in the season he may just about do it but they are too close to top 4 so they can't sack off the league like we could and there is still the chance they lose in the Europa (personally think celta, schalke and Lyon will give them a game and they look set to get to the semis). Selling depay and schneiderlin and not replacing them could look fucking dumb in hindsight if they are 6th and no europa.

And of course there are the financial implications of no champions league football next year, so he's basically brewing a shit soufflé there.

Offline Passmaster Molby

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Re: José Mourinho - Storming up the table like a boss. Best team ever.
« Reply #11622 on: March 19, 2017, 10:15:25 pm »
Fifth motherfuckers, and against all the odds as well. Great to see the underdogs having their day and getting one over on the titans of teeside.

Plucky Jose and his band of free transfers and loan deals, you just have to marvel at his achievements with such meagre resources.

Offline Iska

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Re: José Mourinho - Storming up the table like a boss. Best team ever.
« Reply #11623 on: March 19, 2017, 10:39:42 pm »
Leicester last year, United this.  What a time to be alive.

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Re: José Mourinho - Storming up the table like a boss. Best team ever.
« Reply #11624 on: March 19, 2017, 10:44:12 pm »
Leicester last year, United this.  What a time to be alive.

and let's all agree that Utd's run this year is much more meaningful than what Leicester achieved last year.

Online jillcwhomever

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Re: José Mourinho - Storming up the table like a boss. Best team ever.
« Reply #11625 on: March 19, 2017, 10:46:46 pm »
I am so envious of the football they get to watch at United now. Sigh.  :-\
"He's trying to get right away from football. I believe he went to Everton"

Offline Passmaster Molby

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Re: José Mourinho - Storming up the table like a boss. Best team ever.
« Reply #11626 on: March 19, 2017, 11:14:17 pm »
I am so envious of the football they get to watch at United now. Sigh.  :-\

I wish Klopp would unleash the 6-3-1 system one day, sick of all this attacking football we play now.

Online jillcwhomever

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Re: José Mourinho - Storming up the table like a boss. Best team ever.
« Reply #11627 on: March 19, 2017, 11:33:51 pm »
I wish Klopp would unleash the 6-3-1 system one day, sick of all this attacking football we play now.

I know our play is so dull by comparison. Also why doesn't our manager bring on six defenders, all he does is bring attacking players on, far too predictable. Jose is on to something here, really Klopp and Guardiola need to learn, before he passes them by.
« Last Edit: March 20, 2017, 01:59:47 pm by jillc »
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Offline Iska

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Re: José Mourinho - Storming up the table like a boss. Best team ever.
« Reply #11628 on: March 19, 2017, 11:35:58 pm »
and let's all agree that Utd's run this year is much more meaningful than what Leicester achieved last year.
Don't get me wrong, I'm certainly delighted for them - but to be honest I'm thinking more of the bigger picture here.  The 90s had Ronaldo and those great Milan sides, the 00s Istanbul and Zidane's goal at Hampden.  I suppose Spain did try their best, but I'm just relieved for mankind that the 10s now have something worth remembering.

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Re: José Mourinho - Storming up the table like a boss. Best team ever.
« Reply #11629 on: March 19, 2017, 11:49:43 pm »

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Re: José Mourinho - Storming up the table like a boss. Best team ever.
« Reply #11630 on: March 20, 2017, 04:19:37 am »
https://twitter.com/duncancastles/status/843529818012635140

Jose's bitch embarrassing himself again

I feel kinda same. We struggle against these teams. Remember burnely game we huffed and puffed. Coutinho coming back to form will be key. He can unlock defenses.

West Brom , SToke and crystal palace on succession is brutal .

Offline Alan_X

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Re: José Mourinho - Storming up the table like a boss. Best team ever.
« Reply #11631 on: March 20, 2017, 06:06:58 am »
West Brom , Stoke and crystal palace on succession is brutal .

The numbers 2-1, 4-1 & 4-2 say you're wrong.
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Offline 4pool

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Re: José Mourinho - Storming up the table like a boss. Best team ever.
« Reply #11633 on: March 20, 2017, 12:04:45 pm »
Ken Early: Jose Mourinho’s game needs to evolve – and fast
Dignified, sophisticated play in Man City v Liverpool light years ahead of United’s form





Conventional wisdom would say that the 1-1 draw between Manchester City and Liverpool on Sunday evening was a good result for Jose Mourinho, whose Manchester United team can break into the top four by winning games in hand.

In reality, the match was evidence that Manchester United will struggle to compete in the medium- to long-term with two teams who are playing football of a sophistication no Mourinho side has demonstrated in years.

City v Liverpool was a game that showcased what’s best about 21st century football – intricate choreography at incredible speed. Yaya Toure wasn’t the only one struggling to keep up. Everyone left the stadium feeling some combination of exhilaration and relief.

By contrast the spectacle at the Riverside stadium as United beat Middlesbrough 3-1 earlier on Sunday was medieval. The scoreline belied a game in which Mourinho’s players were subjected to a nerve-shredding siege by the lowest-scoring team in the top four divisions of English football.

United were already 2-0 up and coasting to victory when Middlesbrough threw on their big striker, Rudy Gestede, in an attempt to force a goal by the direct route. Mourinho’s response was to put on Marcos Rojo for Juan Mata. Since Chris Smalling, Phil Jones and Eric Bailly were already playing, this meant United had four central defenders on the field. Mourinho hates to see his big men outnumbered.

Knee-jerk reaction
This was a significant decision because it revealed a lot about how Mourinho thinks about football.

First, it was reactive: Mourinho changes his game plan according to what the opponent is doing. Second, it was pessimistic: Mourinho assumes the worst – in this case, that United would inevitably face an aerial siege, which he must equip the team to face. The notion that his team could simply control the rest of the game with possession was either dismissed, or did not occur.


Third, the underlying logic of the decision was immediately reminiscent of that great football thinker Silvio Berlusconi, who was always telling his Milan coaches they ought to be playing more strikers. No amount of reasoned explanation from Fabio Capello or Carlo Ancelotti could ever convince Berlusconi to abandon his conviction that the more strikers you have on the pitch, the more fearsome your attacking play.

Mourinho’s decision suggested that he believes more defenders equals better defending. If this really were the case, four- or five-man central defensive units might be more commonly seen in football. They’re not, for the obvious reason that packing your box with central defenders means you have fewer players with which to control the rest of the pitch. You therefore cede the initiative to the opponent: rather than repulsing the siege, you create the conditions for one.

Puerile distractions
The fatuity of Mourinho’s thinking was exposed within seven minutes, as Gestede escaped the attentions of all four United central defenders to score past de Gea from six yards. It didn’t matter in the end, as United scored a late killer goal thanks to an embarrassing mistake by Victor Valdes. Mourinho responded with the kind of celebration for which Valdes once angrily tried to push him off the pitch at Camp Nou.

Within minutes players from both sides were scuffling in the tunnel and that, combined with Mourinho’s post-match comments criticising Middlesbrough for sacking his protege Aitor Karanka, ensured that nobody was talking about a match that everyone was keen to forget anyway.

In that it was similar to the aftermath of United’s defeat to Chelsea in the FA Cup, which had featured another reactive, pessimistic Mourinho decision, with Marouane Fellaini replacing Henrikh Mkhitaryan after Ander Herrera’s first-half red card. There was little scrutiny of that decision in the days following, perhaps because Mourinho used his press conferences to complain that everyone was jealous of Paul Pogba because he makes so much money. And the circus rolls on.

Inspiring vision
At Eastlands there was a different vision of what the game might be like. The Liverpool manager admitted that Manchester City could have had two penalties. The Manchester City manager praised some of Liverpool’s players as “outstanding”. The focus was on the players and what they had done out on the field.

Guardiola claimed it was one of his proudest days as a manager and, while that sounded rather implausible, you could see why he was pleased with how his team had performed. City reacted bravely to going behind, they kept going relentlessly at the Liverpool weaknesses they had clearly identified before the game, hammering in a series of low crosses, and eventually they made them pay.

“Our problem is we don’t score goals, easy goals, but at least we showed the spirit we didn’t show at Monaco,” Guardiola said. By the sound of it Sergio Agüero is still not doing enough to impress his manager, but the progress City have made in 12 months is clear. If they can finish the campaign playing like this, they will start next season as favourites to win the title.

It was a similar story for Liverpool, whose disappointment at losing two points will be tempered by the knowledge that teams around them have to play a lot of games against each other. You have the impression that Klopp is shaping something which is greater than the sum of its parts.

You don’t get that feeling when you watch Mourinho’s Manchester United. Maybe he ought to think about throwing on a few more strikers.
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Offline 4pool

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Re: José Mourinho - Storming up the table like a boss. Best team ever.
« Reply #11634 on: March 20, 2017, 01:37:08 pm »
updated.

Reminder of their fixture list after the International break.

01.04. WBA (home)
04.04. Everton (home)
09.04. Sunderland (away)
13.04. Anderlecht (away)
16.04 Chelsea (home)
20.04. Anderlecht (home)
23.04. Burnley (away)
27.04. Man City (away)
30.04. Swansea (home)
04.05. Potential Semi Finals EL
06.05. Arsenal (away)
11.05. Potential Semi Finals EL
13.05. Tottenham (away)
21.05. Crystal Palace (home)

Plus the postponed away game at Southampton to fit in.
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Re: José Mourinho - Storming up the table like a boss. Best team ever.
« Reply #11635 on: March 20, 2017, 01:41:17 pm »
Fifth motherfuckers, and against all the odds as well. Great to see the underdogs having their day and getting one over on the titans of teeside.

Plucky Jose and his band of free transfers and loan deals, you just have to marvel at his achievements with such meagre resources.

 :champ
Soccer - let's face it, its not really about a game of ball anymore is it?

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Re: José Mourinho - Storming up the table like a boss. Best team ever.
« Reply #11636 on: March 20, 2017, 01:43:58 pm »
The thuggish behaviour of their players of recent is a throwback to the Ferguson days. Just as well the football is more akin to a Pulis side.
Soccer - let's face it, its not really about a game of ball anymore is it?

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Re: José Mourinho - Storming up the table like a boss. Best team ever.
« Reply #11637 on: March 20, 2017, 02:28:24 pm »
Ken Early: Jose Mourinho’s game needs to evolve – and fast
Dignified, sophisticated play in Man City v Liverpool light years ahead of United’s form


In reality, the match was evidence that Manchester United will struggle to compete in the medium- to long-term with two teams who are playing football of a sophistication no Mourinho side has demonstrated in years.
Ha ha.

Offline Purple Red

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Re: José Mourinho - Storming up the table like a boss. Best team ever.
« Reply #11638 on: March 20, 2017, 02:43:10 pm »
5th.

Offline scalatore

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Re: José Mourinho - Storming up the table like a boss. Best team ever.
« Reply #11639 on: March 20, 2017, 04:03:35 pm »
If they beat Everton in a couple of weeks then they'll be in a good position to finish the season as the third best team in the North West. A fine achievement.