I'm not a fan like some in here are.
You see, I wasn't born in Liverpool. I don't live there now. Hardly any of my family have any connection to the place. To that extent I'm not a 'natural' Liverpool supporter. I don't go to many games. A lot of that is money, a lot of that is the fact I have a disability, some of that is travel, considering I live in Preston, although that's easier these days, although in all honesty a lot of it is because I can't get a ticket. And if I was taking a scouser's ticket away from them I probably wouldn't feel right about that either. At the end of the day though, a lot of the reason I'm not as vocal as someone else is because I'm an OOT, and I know, as an OOT, I'm not the heartbeat of the club, and in some quarters I'm viewed with suspicion. When I was younger I had trouble dealing with that, when I was 14/15 (I'm 20 now), I couldn't understand why I wasn't viewed the same way as someone else who supported the club but was just born in a different postcode. But as you get older you begin to understand why. This club means more to those from the city, I suppose, who lived through the 60s, Merseybeat, Shankly, our great successes, then the crashing fall of the club and the city. Things like Heysel, Hillsborough, that are part of the club's fabric, always mean more to those who are actually scousers. I know that.
But then I think about the days that meant something to me. My first game. Sheffield Wednesday, 1999, Annie Road end. Singing 'You'll Never Walk Alone' and seeing my dad in tears. I never had the guts to ask him why. But I think I found out why in the end. The passing of the torch. Me fulfilling what he hoped I would, becoming a fan, becoming one of the Liverpool people. I can shut my eyes now and I'll visualize that day. I can still see him crying now. And that's always come back to me since as I've got older, and we've celebrated those other big nights. 2001 FA Cup Final. Uefa Cup Final. The nights against Chelsea. The comeback in Istanbul. And despite the fact I was always never at these games, despite the fact I was watching on a TV set in a northern household, I would always be there in spirit. I would always sing, even just to the confusion on my neighbours part. I would always celebrate. And I would always think of the times and the memories and everything that makes the club special in mine and so many hearts.
Because of my disability, I've obviously never been able to harbour dreams about being a professional footballer. But I try to think that if I was one and I was out there, then I would do anything for the shirt, just like my heroes do and did. Fowler, Gerrard, Carragher. And then I realise that my heroes are also the fans. Those who travelled to Rome in inhospitable conditions. Those who didn't give up in Istanbul. Those who fight for justice for the 96. And then I realise I'm one of them. For all that I haven't done some of those things, for all that I may not be a part of the memories in the future because I simply can't be there, I'm still a fan and I've still gone through the wringer for this club. So then I think of myself as part of one whole. Fighting against evil. And then I get angry, because I realise that this is my club, our club, and I'll be fucked if some fat Texan and his little reptile take this club that all of us and I fight for, from anywhere across the globe, away from me because of their financial greed and incompetence.
Even though this has been a ramble that's gone somewhat off the point, I guess what I'm saying is that's why I fight. I send letters, I send emails, I get national attention, I educate those who are uneducated, and in some small way, even though I'm not your traditional, live-just-down-the-street Liverpool supporter who goes 'Every Other Satdee', because I want to make sure those that can and will, those that truly love this club, still have a club at the end of it. I want to make sure that even though I'm not a local, and even though I accept the club I love might never mean as much to me as it does to someone from the city, I want to make sure that my club will still exist. I want to make sure that the club that makes grown men cry, that deals with triumph and disaster, that has provided the best nights of people's lives from all round the world, is still going to continue doing that.
Because for all the whys and wherefores when I was younger, when I thought about my support, and whether it meant as much as someone elses, eventually, I stopped caring. Because, when I experienced and felt nights like Chelsea, nights like Istanbul, and when I saw justice services where see thousands of fans were paying their respect to the 96, our brothers, our men, even from my television set, even from a place that isn't the city, even from an out of town zone, I began to realise we're all one family. The liverpool family. And we've took so many kicks and punches, and been spit on, and shat on, by so many, but we're still standing, after everything.
And its that that makes me sit there sometimes and ponder why we chose 'You'll Never Walk Alone' as the song that we would sing on the terraces. After some pondering, after Istanbul, after the Justice Campaigns, after seeing my Dad's tears the day he first took me to Anfield, and after thinking about all the things I've talked about, I've started to realise why. Because, as a Liverpool fan, you never do walk alone. No matter where you are. And that's why its my club, and that's why I'm going to fight for it, as long as I can. No one's taking this club away.
