Topic: Struggling with depression

[jason42]

That is absolutely the wrong thing to do. 

After any time on anti depressants you should reduce your dosage slowly, ideally with support from your GP/CPN.  Even if you are on a low does you should move to every other day or something similar.  It won't take months.

Seroxat is renowned for being difficult to come off.

Difficult? It was fucking terrible. I couldn't even get up to stand up.....the liquid solution helped though as I was able to slowly reduce the dosage...

[ClaireW]

Difficult? It was fucking terrible. I couldn't even get up to stand up.....the liquid solution helped though as I was able to slowly reduce the dosage...

Yeah sorry, I didn't mean to sound glib.  It can be a truly horrible med to come off, even when doing it 'right'.

[Enemy]

Difficult? It was fucking terrible. I couldn't even get up to stand up.....the liquid solution helped though as I was able to slowly reduce the dosage...

Fuck it. Mind over matter and I'm not carrying on for months on end, this drug is turning me into a proper asshole so I'd rather be shot. It's horrible to come off but it's not as bad as some stuff I'm sure.

[ClaireW]

Fuck it. Mind over matter and I'm not carrying on for months on end, this drug is turning me into a proper asshole so I'd rather be shot. It's horrible to come off but it's not as bad as some stuff I'm sure.

It's nothing to do with mind over matter.

It doesn't necessarily take months if you are on a low dose.

If such a low does is changing you and turning you into an asshole, is that not indicative of the strength of the medication you are on?

Anyway, it's your call.  You know what you are doing is stupid.

[Corkboy]

Anyway, it's your call.  You know what you are doing is stupid.

Actually, given the symptoms of SSRI withdrawal, she probably doesn't.

[Enemy]

Actually, given the symptoms of SSRI withdrawal, she probably doesn't.

Actually I do. I also know that weaning can have just the same effects but over a longer period of time so who's to judge whether this is the wrong way to do it for me? If I had just exactly the same affects from having a prolonged weaning period why not just try and get it over with as quickly as possible? It's not gonna kill me and whilst the withdrawal is pretty horrible I've had worse. I'll be alright.

[Corkboy]

If I had just exactly the same affects from having a prolonged weaning period why not just try and get it over with as quickly as possible?

Because they might not be the exact same effects, by virtue of you going cold turkey, rather than weaning. My buddy turned violent and he was never violent for a minute in his life before that.

Anyway, your life so....

[jason42]

Yeah sorry, I didn't mean to sound glib.  It can be a truly horrible med to come off, even when doing it 'right'.

Claire, no offence was taken as none was meant. I actually did it twice and the second time was quicker and easier....

[♠Dirty Harry♠]

I decided to stop taking my meds on Friday and went cold turkey. One of the hardest withdrawals ever (Sertraline). I can see why it takes people over a decade to get off it in some cases. I'm 5 days in and the dizziness has barely subsided, can't stand up for more than 2 minutes or so at a time without feeling like I'm about to keel over. Staying with it though - fuck these meds, I'm gonna try and see if having a PMA can push me through.

Wow bad Idea, I went Cold Turkey the morning my Granda died (not by choice, my appointment to get refuelled was the same morning as the funeral). I've been impossible ever since and my emotions are all over the place, I don't know if it's because I miss my Granda, the lack of drugs or a mixture.

I've been agitated/angry, late for work, suffering from insomnia (2-3 hours sleep a night for the last month), constantly polar either I'm euphoric, melancholy or going to bust into tears and I've hit the sauce (though only at weekends, but been tempted all the time) like they're brining back prohibition.

Cold turkey is not good

[gerrardspetal]

I decided to stop taking my meds on Friday and went cold turkey. One of the hardest withdrawals ever (Sertraline). I can see why it takes people over a decade to get off it in some cases. I'm 5 days in and the dizziness has barely subsided, can't stand up for more than 2 minutes or so at a time without feeling like I'm about to keel over. Staying with it though - fuck these meds, I'm gonna try and see if having a PMA can push me through.

That's what I'm on too.


what's a PMA??

[Enemy]

Because they might not be the exact same effects, by virtue of you going cold turkey, rather than weaning. My buddy turned violent and he was never violent for a minute in his life before that.

Anyway, your life so....

I doubt me being violent would do much damage. My fella's a muscle bound boxer type so I'm pretty sure he could reign in all 110lbs of me. 

[gerrardspetal]

I tried that with Seroxat - nearly killed me so I had to come off them gradually using a liquid solution that was minging...

Seroxat was a twat for me too, I took myself off that years ago and it felt like I was tripping. Night mare!!!

[Enemy]

Wow bad Idea, I went Cold Turkey the morning my Granda died (not by choice, my appointment to get refuelled was the same morning as the funeral). I've been impossible ever since and my emotions are all over the place, I don't know if it's because I miss my Granda, the lack of drugs or a mixture.

I've been agitated/angry, late for work, suffering from insomnia (2-3 hours sleep a night for the last month), constantly polar either I'm euphoric, melancholy or going to bust into tears and I've hit the sauce (though only at weekends, but been tempted all the time) like they're brining back prohibition.

Cold turkey is not good

Yeah, those all sound like withdrawal but for me I was angry/aggitated/aggressive and insomniac whilst on the pills. They might have made me artificially happy but they changed my personality for the worse and I want to be myself again much more than I want the pills to make me happy right now. I think I can be straight and happy despite side effects, at least I know what's me and what's the pills now.

[Enemy]

That's what I'm on too.


what's a PMA??

Positive mental attitude. 

Look it up on google - I was pretty horrified about how long people end up on it for and how long it can take to come off, hence why after 8 months I've decided to just kick it and sack them off. A lot of people don't manage to get off them for 10 years, my GP told me a course is supposed to last 9 months but when it's so hard to get off who the hell ever just stays on for 9 months?

[gerrardspetal]

I know how you are feeling though Enemy, I don't want to be taking pills the rest of my days either. The doctor has told me off many a time when I don't take them. They don't understand!! The problem is not taking the drugs the problem lies somewhere else!!! Somewhere within that NEEDS to sorted!! Not with pills!!!

[gerrardspetal]

I've been on it on and off for about 4 years!!! been on other pills before these. Fucks me off!!!

[Enemy]

I know how you are feeling though Enemy, I don't want to be taking pills the rest of my days either. The doctor has told me off many a time when I don't take them. They don't understand!! The problem is not taking the drugs the problem lies somewhere else!!! Somewhere within that NEEDS to sorted!! Not with pills!!!

I think if it's a short term thing pills can be good but in the long term it needs to be counselling/CBT/life changes. I'm feeling a lot more positive these days and can cope with life so much easier than I could before taking the pills, I just hope I can carry on that way through will power and optimism rather than the drugs making everything seem easier. I'm feeling pretty confident about it. I think through CBT you learn to be more positive and to learn how best to deal with things and over the past months whilst taking the pills I've made some positive steps towards coping strategies and that's what'll help me through.

[jason42]

I know how you are feeling though Enemy, I don't want to be taking pills the rest of my days either. The doctor has told me off many a time when I don't take them. They don't understand!! The problem is not taking the drugs the problem lies somewhere else!!! Somewhere within that NEEDS to sorted!! Not with pills!!!

It looks as though I won't have that choice.....I am on morphine patches and Co-Codamol for pain, Arcoxia for my joint pain, Metacloperamide to stop the nausea and Mirtazapine to help me sleep and as a mild anti-depressant. My GP and consultant both reckon that I am stuck with what I have got and that it is never going to go away or get better....I rattle when I walk

[Millie]

I have been on every antidepressant known to man since 1994 after spending months in hospital, I am also on mood stabiliser and anti anxiety meds.  I cant see me ever being medication free and quite frankly I have had enough.

I am off work and my employer is getting annoyed - but I dont care at the moment.

I have been diagnosed with everything from psychotic depression, bipolar and god knows what else.

Dont even know why I am telling you all this - but at the moment I have just had enough of Doctors, psychiatrists and nurses.

[jason42]

I have been on every antidepressant known to man since 1994 after spending months in hospital, I am also on mood stabiliser and anti anxiety meds.  I cant see me ever being medication free and quite frankly I have had enough.

I am off work and my employer is getting annoyed - but I dont care at the moment.

I have been diagnosed with everything from psychotic depression, bipolar and god knows what else.

Dont even know why I am telling you all this - but at the moment I have just had enough of Doctors, psychiatrists and nurses.

Angie - telling things like that  to strangers on the internet is often far easier that talking to your friends and or loved ones. I like seeing people write down their biggest fears and problems on here as 1) I get to try and help and 2) I realise that I am not the only daft twat who is struggling with a myriad of problems. Almost 5 and years of being undiagnosed and I don't know if I ever will be and I have had enough of the hospital. I should go in when I have a really bad turn but I had a bad experience last time I was in and now I suffer in the house....My wife is a nurse.

[Enemy]

I have been on every antidepressant known to man since 1994 after spending months in hospital, I am also on mood stabiliser and anti anxiety meds.  I cant see me ever being medication free and quite frankly I have had enough.

I am off work and my employer is getting annoyed - but I dont care at the moment.

I have been diagnosed with everything from psychotic depression, bipolar and god knows what else.

Dont even know why I am telling you all this - but at the moment I have just had enough of Doctors, psychiatrists and nurses.

Only thing I can say is we're here if you wanna rant and secondly fuck work, don't even think about caring about them if they obviously don't care enough about you. The stress of it all is bad enough without thinking about assholes at work being annoyed with you over medical problems. Do they get pissy at people who have babies or have cancer? Do they fuck.

[mikeinsheffield88]

We would love your business. Punching is good

Boxing has actually helped me alot, keeps my mind occupied for an hour or two and helps me release stress/ anger. Plus the endorphins released from exercise picks my mood up a little after training.

[mikeinsheffield88]

Spotted this aticle on the Guardian website. Very good. Bit long so I will just put the link.

Disclosing a mental health problem to employers.

Job applications and interviews can be daunting for anyone, but for some of us there is an added dilemma: how to explain that gap in my employment history? Should I disclose my mental health problem, and if so, will it affect my job prospects?

http://careers.guardian.co.uk/careers-blog/mental-health-at-work

There is also some good stuff on MIND's website.

http://www.mind.org.uk/employment/mind_week_2011/employees/information_and_advice

Thanks for the links mate. Unsurprisingly attitudes seem to vary so much dependent upon the business/ employer, the employer with little regard for depression is probably less caring of other employee concerns too. This bit is particularly interesting about when to potentially disclose information;

There is no right or wrong time for disclosure. Some people wait until they are established in a workplace, while others either want or need to discuss it straight after a job offer. Being up front feels risky, but as people often say to Mind, would you want to work for someone who does not understand – and refuses to entertain the idea of - an employee with a common health complaint?

[Enemy]

The funniest thing I find about work and what not is I'm in the NHS so you think they'd understand and give a fuck but from reading other peoples testimonies it seems like the NHS is one of the worst for stigmatising you if you're ill.

[gerrardspetal]

Just had a phone call from a woman from the CBT group. She asked if it would be OK if I went on 21st June. The course would run for 6 weeks.

I would have but I'm off to Glastonbury 21st June

Have suggested I go to the next one.   Can't wait to start it!!!

[Sir Harvest Fields]

No offence Gerrardspetal hun, but your health is far more important than a festival. I know thats hypocritical coming from me but it really is. One life, many festivals.

[gerrardspetal]

The next one is in August so in comparison I think I can wait another month.

[Davvo7]

Just had a phone call from a woman from the CBT group. She asked if it would be OK if I went on 21st June. The course would run for 6 weeks.

I would have but I'm off to Glastonbury 21st June

Have suggested I go to the next one.   Can't wait to start it!!!

I have to agree with SHF on this one. I have done that CBT and it was really good, in fact one of the few things that has ever made a real noticeable difference. I have a diagnosis of BPD which doesn't really respond well to anything in all honesty. That said, the CBT did work. I know some say that as you get older it eases by itself, but that is a lot to hope for when you can't see past the next 20 minutes. I like the fact that it said, OK we could do with finding out the root cause, but you what, lets just find a way to change the present first to stop the spiral before it goes too deep. It's not an easy fix - but what is! It needs work, but I don't think you are the kind who is afraid of that..... you can't be affected by depression or mental health issues and not have inner strength, because that is what it takes to get out of bed, to go to work, to go looking for work, to try and have a life, to buy Glastonbury tickets! We don't give ourselves enough credit for those simple acts of courage that others take for granted every day.

Nobody can tell you what to do, but there will be another Glastonbury next year and maybe if you are feeling better in your own skin you would enjoy it more? Hope you don't mind me chipping in, but I think it's good to hear from people who have tried things and its worked.

[Davvo7]

OOps, you got in as I was typing my reply! I'm a dead slow typer.

[gerrardspetal]

Glastonbury is the ONE/ONLY thing that I have been looking forward to since I got the ticket in October. I was lucky enough to get a ticket. ten mins before they sold out.  In fact I'm awaiting delivery for it today..I can wait another month for this CBT surely? Cripes have had my problems for a damn sight longer.. There isn't a Glastonbury next year. Who says I will be lucky enough to get tickets again??

[gerrardspetal]

OOps, you got in as I was typing my reply! I'm a dead slow typer.

[jason42]

Glastonbury is the ONE/ONLY thing that I have been looking forward to since I got the ticket in October. I was lucky enough to get a ticket. ten mins before they sold out.  In fact I'm awaiting delivery for it today..I can wait another month for this CBT surely? Cripes have had my problems for a damn sight longer.. There isn't a Glastonbury next year. Who says I will be lucky enough to get tickets again??

In the grand scheme of things I think you should go to Glasto and then do the CBT the following month. I know how much and how badly you have been wanting to go to Glasto so I say fill yer boots and go.

[ClaireW]

I thnk you are right to stick with going to Glastonbury. 

I can see what others are saying, but the benefits to your mental health of going away can be immeasureable and on the flip side, to cancel could really affect your mood/state of mind etc.

It's excellent news you have got on a CBT course - I really hope it works out for you.  As I have said before, it's an excellent treatment for depression.  Onwards and upwards

[gerrardspetal]

Thank you x

[Sir Harvest Fields]

Ah, i never thought of it like that. Tit that i am. Do what makes you happy hun and ignore me. Have fun and we demand pics.

[Spongebob Redpants]

The next one is in August so in comparison I think I can wait another month.

It'll come around before you know it .I went on a mindfullness course this time last year , and also had to miss a session of the course due to being at Glasto. No worries on that as you can always make up the session on the following course or just get the course material for that session.Or lik you say , just get on the next course .

Attended the mindfullness based cognitive therapy course , and it's helped me a great deal . Been off the ' happy' pills for over a year now , and although I still have the low periods , it's nowhere near as big a deal as it used to be ( fingers crossed ).

I've noticed a few people on here mention coming off SSRI's cold turkey . Must admit , I've always come off them cold turkey and never had any side effects whatsoever, but obviously makes sense to come off gradually .

May see you at Glasto Gerrardspetal - good move on going as planned 

[paulrazor]

depression is not a sign of weakness all the time

its a sign of being too strong for too long

[Enemy]

So after cutting off my meds last night I got those 'electric brain shocks' I've read about. Kind of an odd and unpleasant sensation but they've not started up again today so they might have passed and been very brief which is cool. I've read about people getting them for months afterwards which I was mulling over at the time, it would suck but I'd still carry on. I feel fine mood wise which is the most important thing to me. I'm even all smiley today.

[paulrazor]

horrible illness to have or to see someone else have

[Spongebob Redpants]

horrible illness to have or to see someone else have

You're not wrong mate .The support of frin=ends and family is absolutely crucial to anyone who suffers .

I've been fanastically lucky to be married to a fantastic lady . Don't think many would have stuck with me through the darkest times.