Author Topic: Help! Trapped Under Rubble (Or How I Was Floored By A Flawed Ceiling)  (Read 9921 times)

Offline macca888

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So there I am, having a relaxing Saturday night with the missus and the kids, curled up on the couch watching Pineapple Express. I heard a loud noise above me, looked up to see what it was, and part of the ceiling fell down and twatted me on the head. Could you believe that the four of them were pissing themselves laughing at me? Well fear not my intrepid fellow RAWKites. Moments later there was another unearthly bang, and the rest of the fucking ceiling came crashing down all over them and the two dogs. Ha fucking ha! There's some fucking Karma for you right there! Unfortunately, none of them were seriously hurt, so I threw a chunk of plaster at one of the kids' heads when he wasn't looking. Take that, laughing boy!   :D

So for the last few hours, I've been hastily trying to revert the living room to a habitable environment, because it looked like a fucking Baghdad Hospital after a bit of good old US friendly fire! If it wasn't bad enough that we looked like a family of earthquake survivors, some of it fell in my fucking mug of tea too. This is something that will need more than a bit of Bonjella to fix.

Anyway, in the best traditions of RAWK, while I'm busy trying to declare a household emergency and thinking about phoning the Red Cross to send provisions, Mrs Macca is busy updating her fucking facebook status and taking photos. There's probably one right now on her profile of me mouthing "put that fucking camera away" at her. So I'm looking like Fred fucking Dibnah post explosion, and she thinks she's the bastard Kate Adie of facebook. :butt  I'm on her laptop now and I can't resize photos on it, so I can't post a pic, but I will do tomorrow. I've sent a search and rescue team out to find my computer. Bono and Geldof better put on a fucking charity relief concert for me, the big fucking turds.
« Last Edit: October 11, 2009, 02:35:15 pm by macca888 »
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Offline MidwestWool

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Re: Floored By A Flawed Ceiling
« Reply #1 on: October 11, 2009, 04:20:35 am »
I feel sorry for your wife, kids and the dogs. They got a bit of what you totally deserved.

Offline Lady_brandybuck

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Re: Floored By A Flawed Ceiling
« Reply #2 on: October 11, 2009, 05:58:33 am »
sorry, I can't help laughing at your story macca... I hope you fix your living room soon.
"Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies"

Offline DJBrenton

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Re: Floored By A Flawed Ceiling
« Reply #3 on: October 11, 2009, 07:37:47 am »
Good things come to those who wait. And bad things too.
I have no children on RAWK. Anyone claiming to be my daughter is a blagger trying to bask in reflected glory.

Offline jooneyisdagod

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Re: Floored By A Flawed Ceiling
« Reply #4 on: October 11, 2009, 07:49:36 am »
Does this happen often ?  Or have their been other instances where the roof has collapsed on your head ?  Because, I don't mean to be judgmental and all that, but you really are a bit of a nutter ! 
Quote from: Dion Fanning

The chants for Kenny Dalglish that were heard again on Wednesday do not necessarily mean that the fans see him as the saviour. This is not Newcastle, longing for the return of Kevin Keegan. Simply, Dalglish represents everything Hodgson is not and, in fairness, everything Hodgson could or would not hope to be.

Offline RigBon1892

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Re: Floored By A Flawed Ceiling
« Reply #5 on: October 11, 2009, 09:44:15 am »
Pics or it didn't happen
I'll always keep in my heart the good times I've had here, the strong and loyal support of the fans in the tough times and the love from Liverpool. I have no words to thank you enough for all these years and I am very proud to say that I was your manager.

"Thank you so much once more and always remember: You'll never walk alone
YNWA Rafa.

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Re: Floored By A Flawed Ceiling
« Reply #6 on: October 11, 2009, 10:03:32 am »
Mate that's a nightmare. I can plaster but I ain't got no time, and I'm shite at ceilings.

Bloody hell!

Offline dufus200

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Re: Floored By A Flawed Ceiling
« Reply #7 on: October 11, 2009, 11:14:01 am »
 :lmao

fucking class macca.
hope the kids are alright.
there will never be peace until justice is done.

Offline GeeFJay

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Re: Floored By A Flawed Ceiling
« Reply #8 on: October 11, 2009, 12:17:38 pm »
that's quite funny ha ha  :D

why do we as humans become amused by other peoples misfortunes?
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Offline NatD

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Re: Floored By A Flawed Ceiling
« Reply #9 on: October 11, 2009, 12:19:30 pm »
Well fear not my intrepid fellow RAWKites. Moments later there was another unearthly bang, and the rest of the fucking ceiling came crashing down all over them and the two dogs. Ha fucking ha! There's some fucking Karma for you right there!

Ha Ha - class mate!  Great story, hope you get everything sorted!
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Offline NatD

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Re: Floored By A Flawed Ceiling
« Reply #10 on: October 11, 2009, 12:22:57 pm »
Macca after last night's incident: -

"...waking up at 12 in my clothes again, feel my head explode from a night of Gin..."

Offline RigBon1892

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Re: Floored By A Flawed Ceiling
« Reply #11 on: October 11, 2009, 12:27:57 pm »
I was straight faced until I read:

Unfortunately, none of them were seriously hurt, so I threw a chunk of plaster at one of the kids' heads when he wasn't looking. Take that, laughing boy!   :D

:lmao
I'll always keep in my heart the good times I've had here, the strong and loyal support of the fans in the tough times and the love from Liverpool. I have no words to thank you enough for all these years and I am very proud to say that I was your manager.

"Thank you so much once more and always remember: You'll never walk alone
YNWA Rafa.

Offline ♠Dirty Harry♠

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Re: Floored By A Flawed Ceiling
« Reply #12 on: October 11, 2009, 12:35:34 pm »
Perhaps it was sabotage by ceiling cat

Offline JURGENKLOPP

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Re: Floored By A Flawed Ceiling
« Reply #13 on: October 11, 2009, 12:36:06 pm »
Macca after last night's incident: -


:D

I guess you either laugh or you'll cry

Offline ♠Dirty Harry♠

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Re: Floored By A Flawed Ceiling
« Reply #14 on: October 11, 2009, 12:52:12 pm »
Macca there could be a good money making opportunity in this for you

Crush the ceiling chunks into fine powder and ration it into money bags, sell it around the clubs.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, so check dis shit out, latest tricky shit on the street man. It's called 'Ceiling' fuckin' woooow man, it's called that 'cause it gets you that high, yo seriously good shit dawg no kiddin' like"

Offline Ben_

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Re: Floored By A Flawed Ceiling
« Reply #15 on: October 11, 2009, 02:14:05 pm »
Haha ;D

Unfortunately, none of them were seriously hurt, so I threw a chunk of plaster at one of the kids' heads when he wasn't looking. Take that, laughing boy!   :D

Brilliant.
The match kicks off in 30 minutes ya silly twat


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Offline macca888

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Re: Floored By A Flawed Ceiling
« Reply #16 on: October 11, 2009, 02:33:59 pm »
Well thank you all for your mostly unhelpful and piss taking comments. You all know that's the type of reply you would have got from me   ;D  Anyway, I've changed the thread title to add that little bit of melodrama   :P

So here's the pics or it didn't happen bit. Just look at the gob on the Westie. She's looking up as if to say "Fuck me, nothing else is gonna fall on my head is it?"   :D
« Last Edit: October 11, 2009, 02:51:46 pm by macca888 »
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Offline GeeFJay

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Re: Help! Trapped Under Rubble (Or How I Was Floored By A Flawed Ceiling)
« Reply #17 on: October 11, 2009, 02:41:06 pm »
your place is a shithole
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Offline RigBon1892

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Re: Help! Trapped Under Rubble (Or How I Was Floored By A Flawed Ceiling)
« Reply #18 on: October 11, 2009, 02:44:22 pm »
I'm amazed that you didn't post on RAWK immediately after it happened.
I'll always keep in my heart the good times I've had here, the strong and loyal support of the fans in the tough times and the love from Liverpool. I have no words to thank you enough for all these years and I am very proud to say that I was your manager.

"Thank you so much once more and always remember: You'll never walk alone
YNWA Rafa.

Offline gerrardspetal

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Re: Help! Trapped Under Rubble (Or How I Was Floored By A Flawed Ceiling)
« Reply #19 on: October 11, 2009, 02:49:10 pm »
What a story, you know how to tell them :lmao

Hope you get it sorted soon.
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Offline gerrardspetal

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Re: Help! Trapped Under Rubble (Or How I Was Floored By A Flawed Ceiling)
« Reply #20 on: October 11, 2009, 02:51:07 pm »



Awww the dogs look lost bless them  ;D
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Kristian is a idiot.  A bad idiot.  Also a virgin.
 

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Offline macca888

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Re: Help! Trapped Under Rubble (Or How I Was Floored By A Flawed Ceiling)
« Reply #21 on: October 11, 2009, 02:52:49 pm »
your place is a shithole

Fuck off you! That was after we'd tidied up.  ;D
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Offline Uhoh AureliOs

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Re: Help! Trapped Under Rubble (Or How I Was Floored By A Flawed Ceiling)
« Reply #22 on: October 11, 2009, 03:08:42 pm »
When I saw that picture I had the same feeling as when I go to see a film that's not quite as good as the book was. I applaud your usage of the cushion to keep your dogs paws safe :)

Offline BlackandWhitePaul

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Re: Help! Trapped Under Rubble (Or How I Was Floored By A Flawed Ceiling)
« Reply #23 on: October 11, 2009, 03:21:34 pm »
Good job Pity the bath wasn't above you!
:wave

Offline RigBon1892

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Re: Help! Trapped Under Rubble (Or How I Was Floored By A Flawed Ceiling)
« Reply #24 on: October 11, 2009, 04:20:00 pm »
When I saw that picture I had the same feeling as when I go to see a film that's not quite as good as the book was. I applaud your usage of the cushion to keep your dogs paws safe :)

That was the dog's own idea, macca's not that clever
I'll always keep in my heart the good times I've had here, the strong and loyal support of the fans in the tough times and the love from Liverpool. I have no words to thank you enough for all these years and I am very proud to say that I was your manager.

"Thank you so much once more and always remember: You'll never walk alone
YNWA Rafa.

Offline amir87

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Re: Help! Trapped Under Rubble (Or How I Was Floored By A Flawed Ceiling)
« Reply #25 on: October 11, 2009, 04:31:29 pm »
Seen as you're all safe am I allowed to say karma's a bitch? ;D

Offline RigBon1892

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Re: Help! Trapped Under Rubble (Or How I Was Floored By A Flawed Ceiling)
« Reply #26 on: October 11, 2009, 04:34:09 pm »
Seen as you're all safe am I allowed to say karma's a bitch? ;D

Didnt Macca say that in the first post?
I'll always keep in my heart the good times I've had here, the strong and loyal support of the fans in the tough times and the love from Liverpool. I have no words to thank you enough for all these years and I am very proud to say that I was your manager.

"Thank you so much once more and always remember: You'll never walk alone
YNWA Rafa.

Offline amir87

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Re: Help! Trapped Under Rubble (Or How I Was Floored By A Flawed Ceiling)
« Reply #27 on: October 11, 2009, 04:37:00 pm »
Didnt Macca say that in the first post?

He was referring to the shit landing on the rest of his family

Offline AndoNagasaki

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Re: Help! Trapped Under Rubble (Or How I Was Floored By A Flawed Ceiling)
« Reply #28 on: October 11, 2009, 04:56:21 pm »

At first glance I thought the dog was sweeping up  :o

Why did the ceiling fall down anyway?
the trouble with the straight and the narrow is it's so thin I keep sliding off to the side

Offline JimmyGrunt

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Re: Help! Trapped Under Rubble (Or How I Was Floored By A Flawed Ceiling)
« Reply #29 on: October 11, 2009, 05:16:18 pm »
I take it that only the plaster came down?

Get back on your blue peter shit an get it fixed, some egg boxes, some water, some newspaper an pva, you'll be sorted in no time.
« Last Edit: October 11, 2009, 05:18:05 pm by JimmyGrunt »
PSN ID = JimmyGrunt


Yea mate just put your sky box on top of the fridge, put an egg in the microwave then wave your satalite dish around on the roof worked for me lad.

Offline Swift

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Re: Help! Trapped Under Rubble (Or How I Was Floored By A Flawed Ceiling)
« Reply #30 on: October 11, 2009, 05:17:45 pm »
Thats hilarious. Hope you got a bit of Bruce Sprinsteen on.
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Offline Maggie May

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Re: Help! Trapped Under Rubble (Or How I Was Floored By A Flawed Ceiling)
« Reply #31 on: October 11, 2009, 05:26:26 pm »
Would you like me to make a helpful suggestion?  I won't be offended if you respond "Oh please, Jesus Christ, no".   :-* :wave
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Offline "Nookie".

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Re: Help! Trapped Under Rubble (Or How I Was Floored By A Flawed Ceiling)
« Reply #32 on: October 11, 2009, 05:29:06 pm »
I honestly thought you were gonne be talking about Barney Rubble..
FLOORING SPECIALIST

Offline Lady_brandybuck

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Offline macca888

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Re: Help! Trapped Under Rubble (Or How I Was Floored By A Flawed Ceiling)
« Reply #34 on: October 11, 2009, 06:21:15 pm »
I'm amazed that you didn't post on RAWK immediately after it happened.

Jen, I was hastily clearing the rubble in search of the laptop. Then I remembered, I hadn't been shot or anything  :D
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Offline macca888

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Re: Help! Trapped Under Rubble (Or How I Was Floored By A Flawed Ceiling)
« Reply #35 on: October 11, 2009, 06:22:05 pm »
Would you like to make me your gravel kneed bitch? ;D

I'm in the middle of a catastrophe of epic proportions, and that's all you can think of? ;D
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Offline macca888

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Re: Help! Trapped Under Rubble (Or How I Was Floored By A Flawed Ceiling)
« Reply #36 on: October 11, 2009, 06:23:27 pm »
At first glance I thought the dog was sweeping up  :o

Why did the ceiling fall down anyway?

;D  It's right underneath our bedroom, and lets face it, it's had some hammer and rattling of earthquake proportions over the years  :lickin
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Offline macca888

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Re: Help! Trapped Under Rubble (Or How I Was Floored By A Flawed Ceiling)
« Reply #37 on: October 11, 2009, 06:23:57 pm »
Would you like me to make a helpful suggestion?  I won't be offended if you respond "Oh please, Jesus Christ, no".   :-* :wave

Oh please, Jesus Christ, no! Maggie, you know I always trust your sound advice, but I've got lots of work to do and can't afford another night in the nick!  ;D
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Offline macca888

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Re: Help! Trapped Under Rubble (Or How I Was Floored By A Flawed Ceiling)
« Reply #38 on: October 11, 2009, 06:24:53 pm »
You have a big arse...

But you need a big hammer to bang a big nail in don't you?   :lickin  :hump
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Offline RigBon1892

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Re: Help! Trapped Under Rubble (Or How I Was Floored By A Flawed Ceiling)
« Reply #39 on: October 11, 2009, 06:26:28 pm »
Jen, I was hastily clearing the rubble in search of the laptop. Then I remembered, I hadn't been shot or anything  :D

True, the less urgent it is, the less likely of the posting on RAWK
I'll always keep in my heart the good times I've had here, the strong and loyal support of the fans in the tough times and the love from Liverpool. I have no words to thank you enough for all these years and I am very proud to say that I was your manager.

"Thank you so much once more and always remember: You'll never walk alone
YNWA Rafa.