IT'S A THIN LINE BETWEEN LOVE AND HATE
Back in the old days, the Merseyside derby was a famously friendly
affair. Liverpool and Everton supporters would walk to the game
together, sit next to one another in the stands, then whatever the
outcome, share a laugh and a joke over a post-match pint in the
drinker, hold hands on the way back through the park, stop awhile
under the big oak tree where they once carved their names, and hold
each other, just hold each other, the warm breath on the nape of his
neck, hearts pounding quickly, a zip slowly being worked downwards.
But sadly this warm kinship is no longer the norm in Liverpool. And in
the wake of Sunday's acrimonious affair between the city's two clubs,
which saw some bad men sing some nasty songs about the nice players,
hostilities have broken out big style. "Drone drone drone drone drone
drone drone drone drone drone drone drone drone," slammed Rafa
Benitez yesterday, after Everton fans said a horrid thing about
$tevie Mbe. "Whine whine whine whine whine whine whine whine whine
whine whine whine whine whine," responded Everton spokesman Ian Ross
today, pointing out that the Liverpool support did make fun of Joleon
Lescott and then pulled a face at him and then laughed and then ran
away.
If the spat wasn't childish enough already, both men then clambered
atop that lofty creature, the high horse, and started haranguing one
another about a lack of due reverence. "I don't like to hear some of
those things and it is a lack of respect," said Benitez, to which
Ross responded: "In calling for Everton supporters to respect his
players, Mr Benitez should, perhaps, remember his comments of 12
months ago when he sought to belittle one of world sport's oldest and
most respected institutions by describing us as a 'small club'.
Respect is a two-way street." Hilariously pompous drivel from both
camps, and with Merseyside coppers also looking into someone spitting
at Phil Neville, and the stealing of Dirk Kuyt's satchel, they're
unlikely to kiss and make up any time soon.