Author Topic: I just swallowed a ring pull. Help! (Read 109150 times)

LFCMunkee · « **Reply #200 on:** February 25, 2008, 10:03:12 pm »

Quote from: Barrowboy on February 25, 2008, 09:58:15 pm

Weirdest thing is, I have kept it a secret (apart from the missus and kids) yet lots of people on here know all about it and that makes it more comforting to me, dunno why!

Zizou · « **Reply #201 on:** February 25, 2008, 10:05:08 pm »

Quote from: all_funkt_up on February 25, 2008, 10:01:08 pm

Maybe Matt Le Tissier could commentate on it for us too.

We can do better than him. Im thinking Barry Davies out of retirement for this.

Barrowboy · « **Reply #202 on:** February 25, 2008, 10:07:27 pm »

6 pages for this and none of my footy-related threads have ever got past 2 or 3 ffs.

Apparently if the ring pull had been one of these.....

http://blog.adrianbischoff.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/10/coke2.jpg

......then I'd have been x-rayed immediately and probably had emergency surgery. Thank fuck Carling use the modern ones without too many sharp edges!

Rox · « **Reply #203 on:** February 25, 2008, 10:10:45 pm »

Quote from: all_funkt_up on February 25, 2008, 10:01:08 pm

Maybe Matt Le Tissier could commentate on it for us too.

And he's approaching the toilet - the kecks are down...there's concentration on his face as he prepares for this like it's a penalty in the dying seconds of the match..his turtles head is making a run up...it's crossed his ring, and dropped beautifully onto the porcelain! He's dived straight in and really using his fingers to get stuck into his bananary stool... He's looking through it - and no ring-pull!! He'll be disappointed with that effort, Jeff.

Stussy · « **Reply #204 on:** February 25, 2008, 10:13:22 pm »

I'm pissing myself laughing.

DaveLFC · « **Reply #205 on:** February 25, 2008, 10:14:33 pm »

Quote from: Rox on February 25, 2008, 09:59:35 pm

Perhaps we could set up Barrowboy Text Alerts, so we all get texted when it happens. Like goal alerts...

We could sell 'ring' tones too.

El Campeador · « **Reply #206 on:** February 25, 2008, 10:14:44 pm »

Quote from: Barrowboy on February 25, 2008, 10:07:27 pm

6 pages for this and none of my footy-related threads have ever got past 2 or 3 ffs.

You're a much more talented crapper than you are footy pundit, obviously.

Rox · « **Reply #207 on:** February 25, 2008, 10:16:40 pm »

Quote from: Barrowboy on February 25, 2008, 10:07:27 pm

6 pages for this and none of my footy-related threads have ever got past 2 or 3 ffs.

We obviously prefer your shit threads to your crap threads....

adopted_scouser · « **Reply #208 on:** February 25, 2008, 10:24:35 pm »

Quote from: DaveLFC on February 25, 2008, 10:14:33 pm

We could sell 'ring' tones too.

Sir Capon of Debaser · « **Reply #209 on:** February 25, 2008, 11:21:16 pm »

I once fell on a bike pedal when i was about 4.

my mate had a new bike thats pedal had snapped off,but had left the spindle,with a sort of toothy metal bite on it...

He told me to look out for his mam,and if i saw her jump off the bike....

So the genius i was back then,decided to ride the bike sitting with my legs both on oneside....

I saw his mum looking out of the blinds and pushed the bike away....only for me to fall back on the bike pedal and for it to stick right through my brand new green chords and right up my arse crack.

Im squatting in the street screaming my head off whilst looking down at a river off poo and blood,and also a creamy line running through this brown and dark red flow....
I needed a few stitches after that i tell you.

As my bro couldnt remove the Raleigh striker from up my arse for about 10/20 minutes,he put me in the boot of the car and took me to the hospital.

LFCMunkee · « **Reply #210 on:** February 25, 2008, 11:23:39 pm »

Gilly La · « **Reply #211 on:** February 26, 2008, 01:54:23 am »

Have you crapped it out yet?

gamble · « **Reply #212 on:** February 26, 2008, 02:15:02 am »

Quote from: Gilly La on February 26, 2008, 01:54:23 am

Have you crapped it out yet?

and when you do, make sure you post a photo too!

El Campeador · « **Reply #213 on:** February 26, 2008, 02:18:35 am »

OOOO THE SUSPENSE IS KILLING ME.

Make sure you post AS SOON AS POSSIBLE - we are all anxious to hear the news.

Don't forget to wash your fingers before dashing to the keyboard.

johnybarnes · « **Reply #214 on:** February 26, 2008, 03:35:40 am »

Bang it on ratemypoo.com when yer done.

Monkey Red · « **Reply #215 on:** February 26, 2008, 06:48:17 am »

Quote from: Rox on February 25, 2008, 10:10:45 pm

And he's approaching the toilet - the kecks are down...there's concentration on his face as he prepares for this like it's a penalty in the dying seconds of the match..his turtles head is making a run up...it's crossed his ring, and dropped beautifully onto the porcelain! He's dived straight in and really using his fingers to get stuck into his bananary stool... He's looking through it - and no ring-pull!! He'll be disappointed with that effort, Jeff.

Definitely has to put the whole thing up on Youtube, with a replay and slowmotion!

DaveLFC · « **Reply #216 on:** February 26, 2008, 08:07:28 am »

Quote from: Monkey Red on February 26, 2008, 06:48:17 am

Definitely has to put the whole thing up on Youtube, with a replay and slowmotion!

'slowmotion'

Rox · « **Reply #217 on:** February 26, 2008, 09:46:10 am »

Morning in the Barrowboy household.

Maggie May · « **Reply #218 on:** February 26, 2008, 09:53:06 am »

So he's still alive then - for now. Ho hum. I'd have thought his innards would have been flayed to fuck by now and all the poison released into his bloodstream would have killed him off. Apparently not. But there you go.

۩ Imperator ۩ · « **Reply #219 on:** February 26, 2008, 10:43:12 am »

Quote from: Captain Tsubasa on February 25, 2008, 11:21:16 pm

i once fell on a bike pedal when i was about 4.

my mate had a new bike thats pedal had snapped off,but had left the spindle.with a sort of toothy metal bite on it...

he told me to look out for his mam,and if i saw her jump off the bike.

so the genius i was back then,decided to ride the bike sitting with my legs both on oneside.

i saw the mum looking out of the blinds and pushed the bike away.

only for me to fall back on the bike pedal and for it to stick right throug, my brand new green chords and right up my crack.

im squatting in the street screaming my head off whilst looking down at a river off poo and blood,and also a creamy line running through this brown and dark red flow.
i needed a few stitches after that i tell you.

as my bro couldnt remove the raleigh striker from my arse for about 10/20 minutes.

he put me in the boot of the car and took me to the hospital.

That's a very elaborate story that your 'Uncle' Schlong told you to tell at the hospital, isn't it?

Where did the bad man touch you, Captain Tsubasa? You can tell RAWK.

Rox · « **Reply #220 on:** February 26, 2008, 10:52:15 am »

Quote from: Maggie May on February 26, 2008, 09:53:06 am

So he's still alive then - for now. Ho hum. I'd have thought his innards would have been flayed to fuck by now and all the poison released into his bloodstream would have killed him off. Apparently not. But there you go.

I can sense the disappointment in your post!!

El Phes · « **Reply #221 on:** February 26, 2008, 10:56:55 am »

Quote from: Barrowboy on February 25, 2008, 09:58:15 pm

I'm having my 5th banana of the day

You'll get potassium poisoning next...

۩ Imperator ۩ · « **Reply #222 on:** February 26, 2008, 11:02:00 am »

Quote from: El Phes on February 26, 2008, 10:56:55 am

You'll get potassium poisoning next...

Doesn't potassium react with aluminium in a very explosive way? I'm sure that is what caused the eruption of Vesuvius that destroyed Pompeii. Don't want to worry you unnecessarily of course, Barrowboy.

El Phes · « **Reply #223 on:** February 26, 2008, 11:09:03 am »

You're half right mate, but you need to mix it with carbon dioxide to make it explosive. Something carbonated for instance....you know, like fizzy drinks, that sort of thing.

If he's gone anywhere near a fizzy drink whilst swallowing anything aluminium and mixing it all with potassium, then yes, thoretically......KABOOOOOOM!!

Marcus6 · « **Reply #224 on:** February 26, 2008, 11:16:03 am »

Quote from: ۩ Imperator ۩ on February 26, 2008, 11:02:00 am

Doesn't potassium react with aluminium in a very explosive way? I'm sure that is what caused the eruption of Vesuvius that destroyed Pompeii. Don't want to worry you unnecessarily of course, Barrowboy.

Never rains but it pours

Rox · « **Reply #225 on:** February 26, 2008, 11:29:49 am »

Quote from: El Phes on February 26, 2008, 11:09:03 am

If he's gone anywhere near a fizzy drink whilst swallowing anything aluminium and mixing it all with potassium, then yes, thoretically......KABOOOOOOM!!

A new meaning to explosive diahorrea!!

His missus will be delighted when he pebbledashes the bathroom in an ochre shade...

RJH · « **Reply #226 on:** February 26, 2008, 11:29:55 am »

I'm addicted to this whole saga. This was the first place I checked when I logged into RAWK this morning.
I'm eagerly awaiting the next devlopment.

Rox · « **Reply #227 on:** February 26, 2008, 11:32:19 am »

Thankfully, there's always an online video to help visualise these things:

http://www.gofish.com/player.gfp?gfid=30-1122395

Ken-Obi · « **Reply #228 on:** February 26, 2008, 12:08:33 pm »

Quote from: ۩ Imperator ۩ on February 26, 2008, 11:02:00 am

Doesn't potassium react with aluminium in a very explosive way? I'm sure that is what caused the eruption of Vesuvius that destroyed Pompeii. Don't want to worry you unnecessarily of course, Barrowboy.

I don't think the body absorbs potassium in its pure state as the metal is rather reactive - rarely found in natural form. The body would be using some chloride or whatever form instead.

El Phes · « **Reply #229 on:** February 26, 2008, 12:17:56 pm »

Neither of us were being serious mate

pistol · « **Reply #230 on:** February 26, 2008, 12:18:38 pm »

Quote from: El Phes on February 26, 2008, 12:17:56 pm

Neither of us were being serious mate

You weren't? I was looking forward to that.

El Phes · « **Reply #231 on:** February 26, 2008, 12:23:11 pm »

You weren't the only one mate

Barrowboy · « **Reply #232 on:** February 26, 2008, 12:59:53 pm »

At 8.20am this morning in work I finally gave birth to a shiny ring pull, it was quite emotional for me, never been so pleased to take a regular morning dump in my life.

Had a massive shite due to all the bananas and veg I've been eating but had to do it in a bucket so I could sift through it all, found it straight away. I never felt any pain whatsoever and it came out precisely 36 hours after I'd swallowed it. I'll try and get a photo on here later but theres really nothing much to see.

At least I don't have any blockages

Barrowboy · « **Reply #233 on:** February 26, 2008, 01:00:53 pm »

Quote from: ۩ Imperator ۩ on February 26, 2008, 10:43:12 am

That's a very elaborate story that your 'Uncle' Schlong told you to tell at the hospital, isn't it?

Where did the bad man touch you, Captain Tsubasa? You can tell RAWK.

bryanod · « **Reply #234 on:** February 26, 2008, 01:02:48 pm »

grimreaper · « **Reply #235 on:** February 26, 2008, 01:03:38 pm »

happy days

WorldChampions · « **Reply #236 on:** February 26, 2008, 01:08:01 pm »

Eat another and see if it can beat that time

Rox · « **Reply #237 on:** February 26, 2008, 02:02:00 pm »

Frame it, and name him 'Bob Crappit'.

We need a birth certificate for lil' Bob.

Hope your kid is happy with his new brother.

El Campeador · « **Reply #238 on:** February 26, 2008, 02:09:03 pm »

OH YOU BEAUTY!!!!!!

What a Shit, son, What a Shit!

The crowd's gone mad Martin. Yes, Andy, the heavy burden of expectation has been lifted. Martin, I hope he washed his dirty digits. I'm sure he did Andy.

gerrardspetal · « **Reply #239 on:** February 26, 2008, 02:30:08 pm »

Quote from: Barrowboy on February 26, 2008, 12:59:53 pm

At 8.20am this morning in work I finally gave birth to a shiny ring pull, it was quite emotional for me, never been so pleased to take a regular morning dump in my life.

Had a massive shite due to all the bananas and veg I've been eating but had to do it in a bucket so I could sift through it all, found it straight away. I never felt any pain whatsoever and it came out precisely 36 hours after I'd swallowed it. I'll try and get a photo on here later but theres really nothing much to see.

At least I don't have any blockages

Wooohooooo!!!!!!

Oh and just how secret did you want this kept ??

Just to let you know I told my brother