My best mate and i were in New York on the piss one week, couple of years back, decided to go out shopping etc. Being New York, at 10 on a saturday morning, not the most relaxing thing to do , so decided to go to the pub.
Stayed in there for about 7 hours, before we decided to head back to the hotel to get changed for the impending night out.
Didnt realise how far away from the hotel we were and 20 mins into the journey the attention turned from finding the hotel, to finding the nearest piss receptacle.
My mate was fucking dancing after a few minutes of trying various restaurants etc with no luck, so decided to just try and hold it in and hope for the best as we headed back to the hotel.
Just as we approached the last crossing before the hotel, the 'dont walk' sign lit up, and everyone stopped by the side of the road. At this point my mate was doing pogo jumps with both hands firmly gripped onto his knob much to the bemusement of the surrounding crowd, until he turned round to us and in a really worried sounding high pitched voice said "its coming out!" and started to fill his pants.
Just at that moment the 'walk' sign appeared and everyone started crossing again, my mate out of pure desperation, ran into the little grass island in the middle of the road, fumbling with his flies, then expertly high jumped over the 2 foot hedge and lay on his back, spraying a really powerful blast of piss on anywhere apart from himself.
Had to get up and walk the rest of the way back to the Hotel with the biggest, darkest piss stain all down his legs, which wasnt even the end of the story, when we got back to the digs, to my delight, there were two orchestras checking in, which he had to casually walk past to get to the lifts.
my fucking stomach was killing after that.