Topic: Going Mental

[Effes]

When Im sat on the bog - the tiles on the floor immediately are formed into a football pitch, and I imagine
a great move that ends up with a great goal being scored.

[AndyInVA]

always think what would happen if someone tried to rob me with a knife, recently I came up with a solution, drop my wallet and pretend to be shaking with fear, as they go to pick it up, knee them or kick them in the face!! then recently iv been thinking of picking up the knife maybe doing thing they do in Inglorious Basterds . . .

I just like to be prepared  ill maybe have some more in the next few days

I had similar thoughts when I was at my lowest ebb mentally.

I lived in glasgow at the time and when I would walk home from pubs on my own I would deliberately walk down the darkest alleys and through the most dangerous routes

I was almost begging someone to mug me

I had so much internal rage I felt like I would really given someone a lot more than they expected if they tried to rob me

More likely I would have been stabbed to death of course, but the feeling of wanting to give my anger an outlet is something I still think about

I'm better now

[007.lankyguy]

Thought this deserved a bump because it continually makes me laugh. There must be some more mental things people on here do

[Drinks Sangria]

I stub my toe on something or really hurt myself on something I just turn into hysterical rage for some reason. I threaten it physically and even goad it 'Come on then' to the door with my dukes up

'You're an inanimate fucking object!'

[Draex]

Thought this deserved a bump because it continually makes me laugh. There must be some more mental things people on here do

I've spent all afternoon reading it - it's brilliant!

I own several capes and if going to a house party will choose one for "later"
I go watching my local rugby team and always expect them to be a man short and ask me step in, starting me on a late starting career
I have really bad eye sight and wear contact lenses, for some reason I frequently wake up in a massive panic thinking I've gone blind and am trapped, so I stumble around the bedroom, waking up the misses in a flap trying to find the light switch.

[firing squad]

Most of these as when I was a kid..

I used to sit/lie there, shutting one eye, opening the other, then shutting that and opening the other, just seeing the different angles. I used to melt crisp packets religiously by the fire, till they shrunk to a tiny wrapper. conduct interviews in my head if I've played a game of FIFA. Champ man, F1' basically any game with a career mode. I used to think I would lose my voice, god knows why but to prevent this or just reassure myself that I didn't I'd kinda hum constantly, sometimes people would get onto it and ask what that noise was,,I'd just look at them like they were crazy....

HAHAHAHA please tell how those interviews look like!! Is it like a press conference or just some statements in the mix zone?? 

[Garstonite]

I love this thread.

I've had to do a lot of driving recently for work. I've found myself pulling ridiculous faces as I pull up along cars in traffic on the motorway. I never look to see if they've noticed, but I like to think I've brightened their morning. Helps pass the time for me, anyway.

[Garstonite]

Beins serious though, I sometimes stand motionless looking over the harbour and listen to the theme tune from The Terminator.

This has always stuck with me. Proper makes me laugh.

[Crosby Nick]

This has always stuck with me. Proper makes me laugh.

Haha no word of a lie but I always think back to that one too. Whatever happened to him?

[surfer. Fuck you generator.]

I had similar thoughts when I was at my lowest ebb mentally.

I lived in glasgow at the time and when I would walk home from pubs on my own I would deliberately walk down the darkest alleys and through the most dangerous routes

I was almost begging someone to mug me

I had so much internal rage I felt like I would really given someone a lot more than they expected if they tried to rob me

More likely I would have been stabbed to death of course, but the feeling of wanting to give my anger an outlet is something I still think about

I'm better now

It's not all fun mental stuff is it. This was me years ago when I was in Sydney. Weekends at clubs / bars were good spots too.

I don't think you'll ever get rid of it, no matter how much happiness you find. I don't have the reasons now for the rage that I had then, still, it's all there, just locked up, only gets used in sparring these days. Meanwhile a nice shiny mask gets put on and everybody thinks I'm trustworthy.

[AndyInVA]

It's not all fun mental stuff is it. This was me years ago when I was in Sydney. Weekends at clubs / bars were good spots too.

I don't think you'll ever get rid of it, no matter how much happiness you find. I don't have the reasons now for the rage that I had then, still, it's all there, just locked up, only gets used in sparring these days. Meanwhile a nice shiny mask gets put on and everybody thinks I'm trustworthy.

sheesh mate let it go

all that anger from back in the 'bad old days' has completely gone for me. That was my life in like another world. Im so far from that 'angry young man' than I could possibly be

I hope time and situation helps you get to a better place. That time of life was my lowest ebb. I can still locate that lowest ebb. I was walking at night just to have something to do when I was alone and broke and a massive fire engine came up the road all blue light and everything. I thought, I could just jump in front of it and its over.

That was a long long time ago. Im sorry mate, I dont share your sentiment. My anger has gone gone gone. My life right now has some major shit elements, its not like I found my nirvana or anything, but Im not angry about it.

I know thats a bit off topic, sorry. Delete if you wish.

[Maggie May]

Ah.  A blast from the good old days of RAWK.

My current thing is I'm off to do my shopping when I'm confronted with this huge knuckle dragger who demands my money and other available valuables, whilst uttering the words "Old woman".   Smilingly gently, I haul out this huge great Rambo style serrated edged knife with the blood channel down the edge and, employing its razor sharp edge, slit him from crotch to neck.  And then trot on.

I actually do have one of these, which I tuck into the back of my knickers in the case of such an eventuality.   

[Caston]

Something weird I used to do all the time.. haven#t done it for ages now

When i'm walking and there's cars going past.. I like to set myself a target. So say there is a lamp post ahead of me and a car coming ahead of me, I would think to myself I wonder if I could get to it before the car does? And actually have a mini race and see if I get there first, and if I win I would do a little fist pump. Passes time very well though I must add

[Sir Harvest Fields]

Why does this not faze me one iota Nanna?

[Maggie May]

Why does this not faze me one iota Nanna?

Because I don't take no shit Grandling and neither do you.  Two of a kind.  I am very delighted to say.

[CraigDS]

Something weird I used to do all the time.. haven#t done it for ages now

When i'm walking and there's cars going past.. I like to set myself a target. So say there is a lamp post ahead of me and a car coming ahead of me, I would think to myself I wonder if I could get to it before the car does? And actually have a mini race and see if I get there first, and if I win I would do a little fist pump. Passes time very well though I must add

I've done this for years, firstly when I was a passenger in a car growing up, and then for the last 10 years or so when I've been driving.

Definitely doesn't mean you're going mental 

[surfer. Fuck you generator.]

Ah.  A blast from the good old days of RAWK.

My current thing is I'm off to do my shopping when I'm confronted with this huge knuckle dragger who demands my money and other available valuables, whilst uttering the words "Old woman".   Smilingly gently, I haul out this huge great Rambo style serrated edged knife with the blood channel down the edge and, employing its razor sharp edge, slit him from crotch to neck.  And then trot on.

I actually do have one of these, which I tuck into the back of my knickers in the case of such an eventuality.   

Tasers are better

[Sir Harvest Fields]

Tasers are better

Ever been tasered...

[surfer. Fuck you generator.]

Ever been tasered...

Nope. Have trained with knives, they aren't the best option if you're looking for immediate stopping power.

[Maggie May]

Tasers are better

My beloved Grandling would say differently, and I shall cearly be guided by him.  Sorry to say that I personally find tasers for stand off wimps who dislike close action *Just an observation mods - nothing personally personal towards this person  *

And any event, if you think I'm wandering around ASDA with a taster tucked into my drawers you are seriously mistaken.  What if the automatic tills or whatever set the sodding thing off and, through no fault of my own I had fuck knows how many volts coursing through my body and no fucker to pack my shopping?  You clearly haven't thought this thing through, have you?  No.  My huge great hunting knife is far better.   

[Sir Harvest Fields]

Nope. Have trained with knives, they aren't the best option if you're looking for immediate stopping power.

I have and its no fun. Personally i think its a bad option. We dont need tasers and we should not deploy them

[Maggie May]

I have and its no fun. Personally i think its a bad option. We dont need tasers and we should not deploy them

Don't  distress yourself dearest Grandling.  We are (I hope) just pissing about.  Apart from the reference to my glorious knife that is which is actually for real.   

[surfer. Fuck you generator.]

I have and its no fun. Personally i think its a bad option. We dont need tasers and we should not deploy them

I get you, but that's the point, it's effective at stopping an attacker reasonably quickly. I'll stop derailing the thread now, though a discussion among civilians of what weapon to carry concealed isn't that far off 'going mental' anyway!

[surfer. Fuck you generator.]

My beloved Grandling would say differently, and I shall cearly be guided by him.  Sorry to say that I personally find tasers for stand off wimps who dislike close action *Just an observation mods - nothing personally personal towards this person  *

And any event, if you think I'm wandering around ASDA with a taster tucked into my drawers you are seriously mistaken.  What if the automatic tills or whatever set the sodding thing off and, through no fault of my own I had fuck knows how many volts coursing through my body and no fucker to pack my shopping?  You clearly haven't thought this thing through, have you?  No.  My huge great hunting knife is far better.   

Carry butterfly knives if you wish, nice to see you in good spirits

[007.lankyguy]

I play drums so when I have a song in my head I often walk to the rhythm. However my left foot has to go with the snare beat and when I'm walking on the street, my left foot has to go on a lighter bit of the path, preferably white, whereas my right foot goes with the first hi hat beat and has to go on a dark, preferably black, part of the pavement. Thus when I can't find the right shades of colour on the pavement, I pause the song in my head and wait till I can find the right shade of tone.

I'm not even sure I should admit that.

[Maggie May]

Carry butterfly knives if you wish, nice to see you in good spirits

Nah.   Never fancied them.  Mr May on one of our excursions to Boulogne many years ago bought me my mate flikka    And with a pearl handle no less.  By Christ did my lad have style. We went back last year to see if we could buy him a mate, but alas, the shop was gone.  Everything had got more civilised and boring.  Still.  We have seen the days, as they say.   And thank you for your kind words.   Greatly appreciated.   

[elbow]

Something weird I used to do all the time.. haven#t done it for ages now

When i'm walking and there's cars going past.. I like to set myself a target. So say there is a lamp post ahead of me and a car coming ahead of me, I would think to myself I wonder if I could get to it before the car does? And actually have a mini race and see if I get there first, and if I win I would do a little fist pump. Passes time very well though I must add

Word!

[John C]

I'm not even sure I should admit that.

I can't for the fuck imagine what its like observing you mate.

[Dirkismydad]

Sometimes, when I'm walking around, I think about what I would do if gravity somehow just stopped, but it only stops existing for me (If that makes sense??). I then have to plan what I would hold on to and look around at how I can get back indoors where I could survive.
I would hate to just float away. Cant think of much that would be more horrific.

[TSC]

I have and its no fun. Personally i think its a bad option. We dont need tasers and we should not deploy them

What's it feel like being tasered?  I'm one of those types who if he had one would do it on myself to see what it was like.  I used to have this weird looking tennis bat thing which gave flies electric shocks if they ran into it or if you swatted em with it.  Wasn't just me, but every bloke who came into ours used to 'try it out'.  And unsurprisingly enough we all agreed flies would have no chance as it give us all a good kick.  Neither the wife or her mates would go near it, but all the blokes were like moths to the flame to try it out.  In fact we introduced it into a game of cards a few times, where a crap hand and out wasn't enough, you also had to have a swat from the electric bat!

Such fun from something that cost £1 from poundstretcher.  Obviously spent a fortune on batteries beyond the initial quid.

[John C]

For months I've been dreaming that a uniformed secret service army has been trying to kill me, but its always at mums house where I use to live. Its probably 2 or 3 times a week they come for me and I either fight them off or I escape, but I'll wake up in shock. A real heart-racing shock because they come in numbers.

On Thursday night they came again, I was looking out of my old bedroom window when there was a helicopter dropping soldiers down a rope and one of them was up a ladder against the house opposite with a riffle trained at my window. I ran downstairs and my mum had let a one-eyed telly repair man in, he was one of them in disguise and stabbed me in the back. I don't know if I died because I woke up in a fucking fright.

Do you think they think they've got me and they'll go away now?

[Filler.]

I crushed a beer can today and placed it in a public litter bin near the park. I crushed it because I thought it would free up space for the bin.

[Filler.]

When I was a kid and I was getting driven to school, I'd sometimes use a spec on the windscreen - a dead fly or something - to lazer out the world around me ... to slice it up and to destroy buildings. Found myself doing that again.

[Maggie May]

For months I've been dreaming that a uniformed secret service army has been trying to kill me, but its always at mums house where I use to live. Its probably 2 or 3 times a week they come for me and I either fight them off or I escape, but I'll wake up in shock. A real heart-racing shock because they come in numbers.

On Thursday night they came again, I was looking out of my old bedroom window when there was a helicopter dropping soldiers down a rope and one of them was up a ladder against the house opposite with a riffle trained at my window. I ran downstairs and my mum had let a one-eyed telly repair man in, he was one of them in disguise and stabbed me in the back. I don't know if I died because I woke up in a fucking fright.

Do you think they think they've got me and they'll go away now?

Definately.   They think you are dead and their mission is at last accomplished.  Unbeknowns to them you survive and make a new life in an exotic location, living in this house on a beach with this well fit woman. 

[007.lankyguy]

I can't for the fuck imagine what its like observing you mate.

You should see it when for example I see the right colour for the snare drum is slightly too far and I suddenly take a massive step, maybe even a little jump. Can't imagine how idiotic I look.

[Elli]

I play drums so when I have a song in my head I often walk to the rhythm. However my left foot has to go with the snare beat and when I'm walking on the street, my left foot has to go on a lighter bit of the path, preferably white, whereas my right foot goes with the first hi hat beat and has to go on a dark, preferably black, part of the pavement. Thus when I can't find the right shades of colour on the pavement, I pause the song in my head and wait till I can find the right shade of tone.

I'm not even sure I should admit that.

One of the best posts I have ever seen on here. Thanks for sharing.

[rushyman]

I like to pretend Im having an argument on hands free in the car at traffic lights. I look around all the while to see what sort of audience im getting, I get looks sometimes from interested passengers and drivers and glance back like 'Im in no mood' sort of thing.

The odd thing is I stay in character calling all sorts of imaginary people pricks and c*nts until the next set of lights


Also, I spend an odd amount of time wondering how I would get rid of a body if I had to.

[007.lankyguy]

One of the best posts I have ever seen on here. Thanks for sharing.

You're welcome. Not sure I should take that as a compliment though

[Working Class Hen-Pecked Hero]

Most of these as when I was a kid..

I used to sit/lie there, shutting one eye, opening the other, then shutting that and opening the other, just seeing the different angles. I used to melt crisp packets religiously by the fire, till they shrunk to a tiny wrapper. conduct interviews in my head if I've played a game of FIFA. Champ man, F1' basically any game with a career mode. I used to think I would lose my voice, god knows why but to prevent this or just reassure myself that I didn't I'd kinda hum constantly, sometimes people would get onto it and ask what that noise was,,I'd just look at them like they were crazy....

Had me laughing that. I do that, especially when I had an awesome Palermo side on champ, resigned Cavani and made it a big thing (in my mind obviously) my bird thinks im a bit slow

[jaffod]

I like to pretend Im having an argument on hands free in the car at traffic lights. I look around all the while to see what sort of audience im getting, I get looks sometimes from interested passengers and drivers and glance back like 'Im in no mood' sort of thing.

The odd thing is I stay in character calling all sorts of imaginary people pricks and c*nts until the next set of lights


Also, I spend an odd amount of time wondering how I would get rid of a body if I had to.

Chop it up, put it in binbags and take it to Maghull tip.