Topic: Going Mental

[C]

was thinking what i was having at the chippy on friday during the england game, at the pub

asked the bird behind the bar for "sweet and sou... two pints of coors please"

[Finn Solomon]

Anyone else not like sleeping in a room with a mirror in it?
 We have one of those tall stand-up ones and sometimes the Mrs will bring it into the bedroom while drying her hair. When I come to bed I have to take it into the spare room.

It's an Asian superstition not to sleep directly in front of a mirror.

[jackh]

was thinking what i was having at the chippy on friday during the england game, at the pub

asked the bird behind the bar for "sweet and sou... two pints of coors please"

Was once Hungover after a night out and staying at a mates - ended up ordering a "San Miguel Baguette" in the Wetherspoons the next morning.

[Lady_brandybuck]

was thinking what i was having at the chippy on friday during the england game, at the pub

asked the bird behind the bar for "sweet and sou... two pints of coors please"

Yes, this happens to me all the time, if I'm talking with someone or writing something, if I think about/see something else of what I'm saying/writing I will put it on it, lose concentration and walk away.

[lostpet.]

i have very detailed plans for an alien invasion and a zombie apocolypse

[James Mac]

If, when walking along a pavement, I come across drains in groups of odd numbers (3, 5, 7, 9 etc) I actively avoid walking over them, for fear of bad luck. When walking along a pavement and I come across drains in groups of even numbers (2, 4, 6, 8 etc) I'll actively seek them out to walk over. This brings me good luck.

To the point where I'll be walking different speeds down the road if human traffic is blocking the path towards/away from the group of drains. Or I'll jump out into the road to avoid odd numbered drains.

[firing squad]

i have very detailed plans for an alien invasion and a zombie apocolypse

please share.

[lostpet.]

they are too long to post, but involve ways to get all your mates to you, then arm them with weapons, then set up a safehouse and securing it, finding and managing food supplies, finding and maintaining an energy source, moving on to organising a resistance or a disposal of the dead force, then targeting certain buildings for scientific equipment and hospital stuff, then i have plans for the rebuild

[firing squad]

they are too long to post, but involve ways to get all your mates to you, then arm them with weapons, then set up a safehouse and securing it, finding and managing food supplies, finding and maintaining an energy source, moving on to organising a resistance or a disposal of the dead force, then targeting certain buildings for scientific equipment and hospital stuff, then i have plans for the rebuild

damn you, now I want to know it even more.

[Noelle]

they are too long to post, but involve ways to get all your mates to you, then arm them with weapons, then set up a safehouse and securing it, finding and managing food supplies, finding and maintaining an energy source, moving on to organising a resistance or a disposal of the dead force, then targeting certain buildings for scientific equipment and hospital stuff, then i have plans for the rebuild

You forgot to move northwards. Most zombies can't withstand the extreme cold.

[ghost1359]

You forgot to move northwards. Most zombies can't withstand the extreme cold.

Deciduous woodland, that's what you want, good chance of a lake or river being close by, plenty of natural food sources, plenty of materials for shelter/fire, plenty of vantage points & areas to lay traps. I almost want the zombie invasion to happen so I can prove how fucking OP I'd be.

[se9R.F.L]

when typing if i notice i've made a mistake i delete the whole word and type it again instead of just the offending extra letter.

p.s i'm aware that i didn't use capitals, my caps lock key is broke and only occasionally works.

[Nin]

I imagine myself making an amazing film and think of all the people I know going to watch it and their reactions afterwards when they see directed by 'my name'...

[jaffod]

Sometimes I shout abuse at people who have no chance of hearing me.

I might be standing by my living room window and someone might walk past going about their daily business but I'll shout something like "Yeah, keep walking c*nt!" or if I'm driving I'll shout "Fucking jog on you daft bastard!" at a passer-by.
 Don't really have a clue why to be honest.

[24/7]

when typing if i notice i've made a mistake i delete the whole word and type it again instead of just the offending extra letter.

Amateur.

I do that for entire sentences.

Mrs 24/7 on several occasions when she did her 'A' Levels would bin entire essays and start over if they'd become 'contaminated'.

[El_Pistolero]

I've had something similar with traffic, there's been the odd occasion when I've thought about walking out infront of traffic to see if anything would happen to me. Logic says ofc it would but there's a part of my brain that doesn't seem satisfied. As if somehow I would be fine. Never done it ofc & don't plan to but there's that split second when you just want to do it & you almost have to hold yourself back, like an impulse. Had the same thing happen when I've been sat in cars too, having that urge to just open the car door & roll out.

I nearly fell out of a roller coaster when I was pretty young, my dad managed to grab me at the last second & yanked me back in, maybe it's something to do with that?

Do all of that. Especially the wanting to open the car door while moving, when I was about 5 or 6 I actually did, by accident, open the car door (seatbelt saved me from rolling out!) so maybe that has something to do with it.

[C]

Mrs 24/7 on several occasions when she did her 'A' Levels would bin entire essays and start over if they'd become 'contaminated'.

haha, been there!

[redgriffin73]

Also if I am using a pen that is shite or running out and the letters are a bit feint I have to go over them with a new pen even if they are still clear enough to read.

Yep, that too!

[Filler.]

When I was 11 or so I always thought I'd eventually stop 'zapping' houses and trees and cars and the heads of passers by by closing one eye and pretending that the mark of a dead fly or bee on a car windscreen wasn't some sort of sight for a lazer. I was wrong.

[Snail]

I talk to myself sometimes, like if I've forgotten about something I was supposed to do, or if I did something embarrassing when I was drunk and think about it a couple of days later I'll be like "For fuck's sake, Sian".

I also shout at things when they're not working

[Snail]

Oh yeah, and if I'm travelling any sort of distance, if I'm on a bus or a train or whatever, I'll have my iPod in and I'll imagine that the songs are a soundtrack to a film I invent in my head.

... Yeah, that's pretty weird.

[Mashy-rawr!nooo]

Commentate on my liverpool matches.


Last game was versus man city. Pre-match I was talking to myself about Downings speed to exploit Toure and Citys Side backs. Went onto mention how Agbonlahor (I've signed him,hes strangley good) will do well to find space for Suarez crosses behind Kompany. Also talked about Liverpools title-race prospect despite the fact I'd played 14 games and was 7 points clear,


Have to wash my hands after touching something that doesn't look clean.

Must finish the paragraph,game,tv show before I do anything else.

If I'm not going to be able to watch the football from the start, I won't watch it all and wait till the final score. Which must be done by bbc sport. I open the tab with my eyes close and slowly open them. No joke, the newcaslte 3-1 liverpool made me sigh. When we beat United with Kuyts hatrick though 

[El_Pistolero]

I talk to myself sometimes, like if I've forgotten about something I was supposed to do, or if I did something embarrassing when I was drunk and think about it a couple of days later I'll be like "For fuck's sake, Sian".

I also shout at things when they're not working

Whenever I find myself out of earshot all I do is talk to myself, usually in two different accents.

Weird, or worrying? I don't know.

[James Mac]

Sometimes I shout abuse at people who have no chance of hearing me.

I might be standing by my living room window and someone might walk past going about their daily business but I'll shout something like "Yeah, keep walking c*nt!" or if I'm driving I'll shout "Fucking jog on you daft bastard!" at a passer-by.
 Don't really have a clue why to be honest.

I do this all the time. Feel shit when they turn around, even though I know they couldn't hear me.

[felix.]

can't believe i haven't opened this thread till now! i thought it was going to be depressing!

apart from 90% of the stuff already mentioned...

i run around the flat with a mini football pretending i'm liverpool. like i'll be gerrard and ping a long one down the hall, run after it, collect the lay off from dirk (the wall) and suddenly i'm suarez, play a quick one-two with the bed, roulette the cat, nutmeg pieces of furniture GOAL! these one sided liverpool drubbings last up to 20 minutes, by which time most of the outfield players have scored double figures. needless to say, i commentate.

sometimes when i get tired of walking uphill, i'll bend down and just let my arms hang in front of me and keep walking in that position. i find it extremely relieving.

when i'm at the lights in my car, just as they're about to turn green, i turn towards the driver next to me and sound the horn. when he turns around, i pull the most ridiculous face at him and drive off, while relaxing my neck so my head gets pulled back in a funny way.

when i'm a passenger, i imagine some sort of alien spiderman freerunner thing, which leaps across the side of the road keeping up with the car in the most awesome fashion.

if i'm on the street and got good fart brewing i'll hold it in until someone walks past me and then let rip forcefully when they're right next to me.

one thing i frequently do when i go to the toilet, i'll start pissing normally, take a couple of steps back and fire from distance, and then come back forward while raising my dick so the stream forms a perfect parabola. sometimes i try to see how close i can get it to my face. it's actually not that bad a sight from up close, the golden liquid coming up sharp until gravity takes effect, the fluid motion of urine simmering in the light of my bathroom.

[Snail]

[Noelle]

Kicked my shoes off soon as I came in from running errands earlier, then a bit ago went looking to move them back to the closet. Couldn't find them anywhere. Opened up the freezer just now to grab the ground beef for dinner and for who knows what reason I'd stuck them in there, tucked right in the door between the vodka and bag of peas. I've put things in odd places before but that definitely takes the cake.

[Alucard]

can't believe i haven't opened this thread till now! i thought it was going to be depressing!

apart from 90% of the stuff already mentioned...

i run around the flat with a mini football pretending i'm liverpool. like i'll be gerrard and ping a long one down the hall, run after it, collect the lay off from dirk (the wall) and suddenly i'm suarez, play a quick one-two with the bed, roulette the cat, nutmeg pieces of furniture GOAL! these one sided liverpool drubbings last up to 20 minutes, by which time most of the outfield players have scored double figures. needless to say, i commentate.

sometimes when i get tired of walking uphill, i'll bend down and just let my arms hang in front of me and keep walking in that position. i find it extremely relieving.

when i'm at the lights in my car, just as they're about to turn green, i turn towards the driver next to me and sound the horn. when he turns around, i pull the most ridiculous face at him and drive off, while relaxing my neck so my head gets pulled back in a funny way.

when i'm a passenger, i imagine some sort of alien spiderman freerunner thing, which leaps across the side of the road keeping up with the car in the most awesome fashion.

if i'm on the street and got good fart brewing i'll hold it in until someone walks past me and then let rip forcefully when they're right next to me.

one thing i frequently do when i go to the toilet, i'll start pissing normally, take a couple of steps back and fire from distance, and then come back forward while raising my dick so the stream forms a perfect parabola. sometimes i try to see how close i can get it to my face. it's actually not that bad a sight from up close, the golden liquid coming up sharp until gravity takes effect, the fluid motion of urine simmering in the light of my bathroom.

Hahaha! Good lord, this post epitomises the title of the thread.

[JimmyGrunt]

one thing i frequently do when i go to the toilet, i'll start pissing normally, take a couple of steps back and fire from distance, and then come back forward while raising my dick so the stream forms a perfect parabola. sometimes i try to see how close i can get it to my face. it's actually not that bad a sight from up close, the golden liquid coming up sharp until gravity takes effect, the fluid motion of urine simmering in the light of my bathroom.

Brilliant.

[se9R.F.L]

Amateur.

I do that for entire sentences.

Mrs 24/7 on several occasions when she did her 'A' Levels would bin entire essays and start over if they'd become 'contaminated'.

i used to delete back to the mistake and retype but i've reigned it in.

you got it bad though!

[Crosby Nick]

when i'm at the lights in my car, just as they're about to turn green, i turn towards the driver next to me and sound the horn. when he turns around, i pull the most ridiculous face at him and drive off, while relaxing my neck so my head gets pulled back in a funny way.

Love that one!

Welcome aboard!

[firing squad]

can't believe i haven't opened this thread till now! i thought it was going to be depressing!

apart from 90% of the stuff already mentioned...

i run around the flat with a mini football pretending i'm liverpool. like i'll be gerrard and ping a long one down the hall, run after it, collect the lay off from dirk (the wall) and suddenly i'm suarez, play a quick one-two with the bed, roulette the cat, nutmeg pieces of furniture GOAL! these one sided liverpool drubbings last up to 20 minutes, by which time most of the outfield players have scored double figures. needless to say, i commentate.

sometimes when i get tired of walking uphill, i'll bend down and just let my arms hang in front of me and keep walking in that position. i find it extremely relieving.

when i'm at the lights in my car, just as they're about to turn green, i turn towards the driver next to me and sound the horn. when he turns around, i pull the most ridiculous face at him and drive off, while relaxing my neck so my head gets pulled back in a funny way.

when i'm a passenger, i imagine some sort of alien spiderman freerunner thing, which leaps across the side of the road keeping up with the car in the most awesome fashion.

if i'm on the street and got good fart brewing i'll hold it in until someone walks past me and then let rip forcefully when they're right next to me.

one thing i frequently do when i go to the toilet, i'll start pissing normally, take a couple of steps back and fire from distance, and then come back forward while raising my dick so the stream forms a perfect parabola. sometimes i try to see how close i can get it to my face. it's actually not that bad a sight from up close, the golden liquid coming up sharp until gravity takes effect, the fluid motion of urine simmering in the light of my bathroom.

[evie]

lying here, reading this thread and i feel I have to go to the toilet for a pee but I keep thinking "I'll just read one more" and that one turns out to be so funny I have to squeeze my legs together so i won't pee in my pants.

Instead of just going to the bathroom.

And on top of that, I'm writing this down. In this thread. Instead of just going to the bathroom.

  

going now

[Crosby Nick]

lying here, reading this thread and i feel I have to go to the toilet for a pee but I keep thinking "I'll just read one more" and that one turns out to be so funny I have to squeeze my legs together so i won't pee in my pants.

Instead of just going to the bathroom.

And on top of that, I'm writing this down. In this thread. Instead of just going to the bathroom.

  

going now

Perfect parabola?

[evie]

Perfect parabola?

aha...just noticed. should've seen it coming

[Gojedo]

2. And this one takes it to the extra level. When I'm doing a Manager Mode on FIFA 10, if I go to the bathroom or to get a drink from the kitchen, I'll conduct a little post-match interview in my head for the game I've just had.

Jesus, seriously? I used to do the same thing. I don't play FIFA much anymore these days but I would do exactly the same thing. I would also read aloud every set up from game settings to the formation I would start with in Manager Mode and if I didn't get it right or mispronounced one word wrong I would start all over. Sometimes it took me hours to get a game started. It was the only thing I was OCD at.

[JimmyGrunt]

When somethings pissing me off...i tell it i'll "Fuckin kill it".

Stupid when its a laptop for example.

[XabiArt]

When i'm walking somewhere or on the train listening to music I often imagine a youtube style compilation of myself playing football with the music as a background and me scoring goals at perfect points in the song.

[Matt8Pie]

When I was a kid and I was on my bike, I used to pretend that I was piloting an X-Wing from Star Wars and used to dart really fast between obstacles around my estate pretending I was evading Tie Fighters. Whenever I get on a bike again, I think back to those days and still do this.

[Cre_mCr_cker]

I still entertain the notion that despite having been an average player in a shit team all through youth football I have in fact just been played criminally out of position, I often daydream that one day a manager will finally see my potential and play me just in front of the back four, thus unearthing a hidden gem. A string of unbelievable performances will follow, and soon enough Kenny and Comolli will arrive at my house by helicopter and I'll sign the contracts. I will now take the Academy by storm, but will still be allowed back to Exeter regularly enough to nail the girl I like from college. Sometimes it takes a variation and I get sent on loan to Celtic and score the winner in the Old Firm just to make my mate happy, before returning to Liverpool to inspire us to winning the quadruple. If only someone played me in front of the back four eh?