Author Topic: Kids: To smack or not to smack? (Read 5459 times)

Withnail · « **on:** October 20, 2005, 08:36:28 pm »

Personally i see nothing wrong with smacking your child if they are playing up. i'm not talking about battering them black and blue, just a smack on the leg or bum, not so much to hurt the child ,but to let it know you mean business.
What are your views ?

BIGdavalad · « **Reply #1 on:** October 20, 2005, 08:44:48 pm »

Same as you mate - sometimes shouting at a kid makes no difference.

7777 · « **Reply #2 on:** October 20, 2005, 08:47:57 pm »

Just discussed this very subject as I have been to parents evening!

I am in the fortunate position where I have a really good kid, he is not quite the same little angel for his mum but I couldn't imagine ever needing to smack him. Had to tell him off once and he got upset.

I was never smacked and don't believe in it but I wouldn't preach to people that do, each to their own, depends on the kid I guess, if you have a right little shit or tear away I can imagine it being tough. Also depends on their age and gender

Dodgy subject, my personal belief is a telling off should be enough but life isn't always that simple is it

Bronx Red · « **Reply #3 on:** October 20, 2005, 08:59:37 pm »

Their are other posts on here on what to do with the youth off today and such,maybe if they had been smacked a few times things could have been differant. just a theory maybe the 2 don't even link

LFCMunkee · « **Reply #4 on:** October 20, 2005, 09:01:47 pm »

Quote from: BIGdavalad on October 20, 2005, 08:44:48 pm

Same as you mate - sometimes shouting at a kid makes no difference.

Thats because if you shout all the time...they don't know whether your actually talking to them or actually telling them off

BIGdavalad · « **Reply #5 on:** October 20, 2005, 09:09:34 pm »

Quote from: LFCMunkee on October 20, 2005, 09:01:47 pm

Thats because if you shout all the time...they don't know whether your actually talking to them or actually telling them off

Don't have kids yet (and if I did, I wouldn't shout all the time) - but I know when I was a kid sometimes a smack was the only thing that would work to stop me doing something.

Roger · « **Reply #6 on:** October 20, 2005, 09:16:38 pm »

I dont think I smacked my daughter properly until about 12 months ago. When she was 18. She was out of control and had kicked me fuckin hard on the leg. I gave her an almighty slap on the arse and it made her cry. I dont regret it one bit.

Withnail · « **Reply #7 on:** October 20, 2005, 09:20:34 pm »

my little lad is going through the 'terrible two's', he is not really a naughty kid, but he constantly tests me to see how far he can push me. Shouting at him makes no difference, he just ignores me. smacking him doesn't really make a difference either, he just pretends not to feel it. i find the thing that works best is to put him out of the room and not let him back in til he says sorry.
sometimes a smack is unavoidable though.

Roger · « **Reply #8 on:** October 20, 2005, 09:23:58 pm »

Quote from: Withnail on October 20, 2005, 09:20:34 pm

my little lad is going through the 'terrible two's', he is not really a naughty kid, but he constantly tests me to see how far he can push me. Shouting at him makes no difference, he just ignores me. smacking him doesn't really make a difference either, he just pretends not to feel it. i find the thing that works best is to put him out of the room and not let him back in til he says sorry.
sometimes a smack is unavoidable though.

The 'naughty step' is a good tactic maybe?

Mirra · « **Reply #9 on:** October 20, 2005, 09:30:33 pm »

Me and my brothers used to get some right good hidings, we deserved them all though. Got the belt a few times, hated that fucking belt

Me Aunty hit me with a broom shank once as well. Me Da never used to hit us, only time he ever hit me was when I was 15 and ill never forget it. Was arguing with me Ma and said Fucking Hell, he jumped up and chinned me. I deserved it though and id of done the same if i was him a lot sooner than he did because I was a little bastard. You couldnt do those things these days though, itd be called "child abuse" which is a load of shite if you ask me, thats how most of the little Chelsea i see around the place are soft as shite and think they can get away with anything. They've never had a good hiding.

Our Kenny has had a few smacked arses by the wife, ive never smacked him, dont think a bloke should be hitting his kids. Thats the mothers job until they are teenagers anyway imo. The other two are still babys as well.

Withnail · « **Reply #10 on:** October 20, 2005, 09:35:13 pm »

Quote from: Mirra on October 20, 2005, 09:30:33 pm

Me and my brothers used to get some right good hidings, we deserved them all though. Got the belt a few times, hated that fucking belt Me Aunty hit me with a broom shank once as well. Me Da never used to hit us, only time he ever hit me was when I was 15 and ill never forget it. Was arguing with me Ma and said Fucking Hell, he jumped up and chinned me. I deserved it though and id of done the same if i was him a lot sooner than he did because I was a little bastard. You couldnt do those things these days though, itd be called "child abuse" which is a load of shite if you ask me, thats how most of the little Chelsea i see around the place are soft as shite and think they can get away with anything. They've never had a good hiding.

Our Kenny has had a few smacked arses by the wife, ive never smacked him, dont think a bloke should be hitting his kids. Thats the mothers job until they are teenagers anyway imo. The other two are still babys as well.

we must ahve had the same parents.

i would never dream of hitting my kids the way my mum used to hit me though, like you i used to get hit with a leather belt,shoes, anything she could get her hands on. i draw the line at a smack.

Mirra · « **Reply #11 on:** October 20, 2005, 09:37:45 pm »

Aye Mothers eh? Dont think anyones ever hit me harder than me Ma has like. Me and my oldest brother were laying on once, she came running in, split it up. Chinned him, gave me a back hand across the face and switched both of us off. Can still dish it out now as well!

Aidan_B · « **Reply #12 on:** October 20, 2005, 10:00:45 pm »

Nowt wrong with a good smack

Alf · « **Reply #13 on:** October 20, 2005, 10:20:22 pm »

I think sometimes a right bollocking is not enough and you have to give kids a smack.

MichaelA · « **Reply #14 on:** October 21, 2005, 10:15:30 am »

If you're rasing your voice and raising your hand, you've already lost the argument, haven't you?

Roger · « **Reply #15 on:** October 21, 2005, 10:16:46 am »

Quote from: MichaelA on October 21, 2005, 10:15:30 am

If you're rasing your voice and raising your hand, you've already lost the argument, haven't you?

Only if the other person was prepared to have an argument.

MichaelA · « **Reply #16 on:** October 21, 2005, 10:29:40 am »

Quote from: Roger on October 21, 2005, 10:16:46 am

Only if the other person was prepared to have an argument.

Okay argument was the wrong word. I don't argue with my daughter, and I doubt any adult could argue with a child and reach any sensible conclusion. My daughter and I come to a 'mutual' agreement that always ensures I get my way

Danny Boys Dad · « **Reply #17 on:** October 21, 2005, 10:34:28 am »

Quote from: Withnail on October 20, 2005, 08:36:28 pm

Personally i see nothing wrong with smacking your child if they are playing up. i'm not talking about battering them black and blue, just a smack on the leg or bum, not so much to hurt the child ,but to let it know you mean business.
What are your views ?

What about smacking your wife/girlfriend if she's "playing up"? Or someone at work? What do you do to let them know "you mean business"?
I don't believe in it at all.

Maggie May · « **Reply #18 on:** October 21, 2005, 10:45:44 am »

My mum died when I was 13 and 18 months later my Dad got married again and went off to live with the new one with my 18 month old sister, leaving the excess baggage behind. So for about two years I was looked after by my Nan (until I came of earning age when the scenario changed). She had arthritis and so the smacking was not an option (hurt her more than it did me), so she used to hit me with things when I was kicking off. Anything really. Stopped me for a moment's reflection of course. Until the next time.

jambutty · « **Reply #19 on:** October 21, 2005, 08:53:32 pm »

I have four of the best behaved kids in the world. Raised in the US English style, I get compliments on them all the time.

The secret was the hand of God. Mine, not the Argentinian one.

If you yell, they often stop listening.

They understand a smacked arse.

And it shouldn't be hard, or delivered with anger, otherwise you give them a victory and feel guilty. And warning must always be given.

I'd count 1-3 and if I got to 3 they got a smack whether they stopped or not. And if I had to chase them, they got 2.

The key is removing the emotion from the act. Ya gotta be cool and calm and let them know the act hurts you more than them and how disappointed you are that they've forced you to do this. They used to come crying for forgiveness, which became a bonding moment for us both.

Started early, it teaches them respect and makes having kids a real pleasure. I don't think I had to discipline any of them past the age of 5.

Sat1 · « **Reply #20 on:** October 22, 2005, 12:41:04 am »

Smack but not too hard, omly enough to get the message across

angakoq · « **Reply #21 on:** October 22, 2005, 12:51:15 pm »

I wonder how many of you would accept a whack across the arse from a traffic warden for parking on double-yellows?

Sat1 · « **Reply #22 on:** October 23, 2005, 02:21:30 am »

Quote from: angakoq on October 22, 2005, 12:51:15 pm

I wonder how many of you would accept a whack across the arse from a traffic warden for parking on double-yellows?

Depends if shes hot or not

Kez · « **Reply #23 on:** October 23, 2005, 04:04:22 pm »

Never been hit by my parents as far as I know, but then I don't think I've ever needed to be.

Roger - if one of my parents hit me now at 19 I'd probably go mental. 18/19 years old you are an ADULT and ADULTS do not solve situations by hitting each other.

Pheeny · « **Reply #24 on:** October 23, 2005, 04:17:10 pm »

Can't remember ever having to smack Robert.But I'm not against it.Would'nt try smacking him now as he's bigger than me.

Totally against Corporal punishment in schools though.Never help calm me down in school.

Bronx Red · « **Reply #25 on:** October 23, 2005, 07:49:49 pm »

Some people are looken to much into slappen i think i took it as meanind a slight slap on the hand or bum not a clobbering over the head,just enough to let them know its wrong.I have a 18 month old and all though ive never hit him i can see that maybe when hes a lil bigger he may need a slap

cause he is pure heedless to what you tell him and believe me he knows when he is doing wrong.When i ask him to for example ..stop switchen off tv he will look at you and put hand to button but not press and laugh to see how far he can go then he will leave it 5 mins later he is over switchen it off again

.If ya raise your voice to him he shouts back at u in baby talk (dreading when he does start chatten as god only knows what he s shouthing at me) ohh the joys off parent hood.If the people saying its wrong have children off their own all well and good but if ya don't hold your tounges and make that decision when u have.

blert596 · « **Reply #26 on:** October 23, 2005, 09:53:21 pm »

Start them off on the soft drugs first IMO

AdamL · « **Reply #27 on:** October 24, 2005, 12:24:36 am »

i reckon parents have to smack their kids when they misbehave. i'm not talking about a punch on the chin or a dig in the arm or nothing like that. i think sometimes thats where the distinction becomes blurred. but you need discipline, and for kids sometimes thats the only form they really understand.

when i was a kid it was dead simple. if i misbehaved, i got a slap across the back of the legs. and it fuckin hurt! so the obvious way round it for me was to not misbehave. my dad also once told me he was gonna dock money from my pocket money if i stepped out of line again (id been a twat all day apparently). I tested his nerve an kept being a twat. so he took some of my pocket money away. my mum gave him an argument for it, sayin he shouldnt do it. but my Dad had it spot on. he had given me the terms on which we were gonna work. i broke them, and he made me realise there had to be consequences. if you give kids an inch, they'll keep pushing you till they work out how much they can get out of you. i know, i used to be one!

but slapping a kid across the back of the legs is a most basic necessity of being a parent.

LFCMunkee · « **Reply #28 on:** October 24, 2005, 12:54:59 am »

WTF!?!!!

This guy is psycho...

Read this...

http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=beat

BIGdavalad · « **Reply #29 on:** October 24, 2005, 12:59:48 am »

Quote from: LFCMunkee on October 24, 2005, 12:54:59 am

WTF!?!!!

This guy is psycho...

Read this...

http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=beat

Sensible policies for a happier Britain

Bandy · « **Reply #30 on:** October 24, 2005, 12:58:28 pm »

Quote from: angakoq on October 22, 2005, 12:51:15 pm

I wonder how many of you would accept a whack across the arse from a traffic warden for parking on double-yellows?

Yes - because that's EXACTLY the same thing isn't it?

You loon

ElSheak · « **Reply #31 on:** October 24, 2005, 04:59:35 pm »

I gotta smacked arsed, me Pa would clip the nack of my head. i knew then I'd pushed things to far. I don't hate them for it or hold it against them. Those smacks and clips kept me in line and sorted out clearly what was right and what wrong. Only once did me Ma lose it big time with me. Something you never forget. As you get older you realise that there was no malice in it, just a good authoritarian way of keeping me in check.

Sometimes kids need a clear definination of right and wrong (am not talking about kicking the fuck out of them) but a smacked arse on a child will go further than screaming at them! All this smacking ban bollocks will just result in kids getting worse and worse with no respect or fear for authority in any way shape or form!

Good luck with your kids!

KENTY · « **Reply #32 on:** October 25, 2005, 06:23:50 pm »

Never did me any harm, a slap on the arse. You kids of today could do with getting a bit of a slap from time to time.

This country has gone soft. We are too PC for our own good. A slap does'nt do anyone any harm whatsoever in my book.

If it is excessive and constant then that is when it is out or order.

Drobs · « **Reply #33 on:** October 25, 2005, 11:42:37 pm »

Quote from: angakoq on October 22, 2005, 12:51:15 pm

I wonder how many of you would accept a whack across the arse from a traffic warden for parking on double-yellows?

In reply to this and the other one about girlfriends etc. I think the big difference is the fact that they are kids and have to be taught right from wrong, being raised to learn what they can do and cant do. Big difference between that and a warden and the like, I'm sure you'd agree.

I'm a big believer in it anyway. I was always a good kid at home, always have been respectful to others, well mannered etc etc but at school I'll admit i was a bit of a shit. Not as bad as some Ive seen but I'm sure the teachers prayed to god they could do more than give me a detention. That kind of punishment just wasn't a punishment at all so i never feared anything. At home if i acted up my mum would give me the slipper. That always kept me in line.

There are of course boundaries and the right amount only when deemed necessary is the way to go i reckon. An example Ive given before is to draw up the similarities in the animal world, when a lion cub acts up its mother doesn't refuse it anything, she gives the little blighter a nip and the wee fella knows the score after that!

Its not abuse, that's just the modern world gone mad, its the way of the world if anything.

blert596 · « **Reply #34 on:** October 25, 2005, 11:53:17 pm »

Im all for giving the little beggers a small slap. Often just the threat of it being an option is more than enough.

And not just at home. I'm all for bringing back the cane in school. Made you think a few times about what the repurcussions mught be. Detention was a waste of time...literally...for all concerned.

Mirra · « **Reply #35 on:** October 26, 2005, 12:02:16 am »

Nah im not for bringing the caine back at school like, wouldnt be very pleased if someone gave my kids a good belting with a caine, wouldnt be very pleased if someone other than me or the wife gave them a smacked arse either. Id muller them.

Bandy · « **Reply #36 on:** October 26, 2005, 12:40:37 pm »

I'm sure you believe that would be an excellent example to give your kids.

jambutty · « **Reply #37 on:** October 26, 2005, 05:01:15 pm »

I could only accept a 'love' slap by anyone else on my kids. Love 'em & you can smack 'em. In reality only me or Mrs Jam, and her hardly ever. Someone has to be the bad guy.

Their Gran or an antie (though it was never necessary) would've been ok, but my kids were not allowed to hit each other. They got a smack for that.

carlo · « **Reply #38 on:** October 28, 2005, 06:34:50 pm »

My daughter is 15 now and I find that she is a bit too old to be smacked. However , when she was growing up " getting a smack" was always the the big deterent hanging over any misbehaviour.
It was rare that I smacked her , but like others have said sometimes there is no alternative.
Apart from being your average moody , sulky teenager she is a good kid with a good heart. Now her punishment is being grounded or no money

. ( my favourite), but when they are growing up they must learn that there are certain boundaries that cannot be crossed , if they are then they should expect to be punished , as in life.
The word to bear in mind is "smack" not punch , kick or such like .

Like previous posts I think we have all gone down the PC road to far whereby punishments no longer deter or fit the crime.

carlo

Monkey Red · « **Reply #39 on:** October 29, 2005, 03:16:38 pm »

As the Father of a 15 year old Daughter, I would be tempted to say kick the living shit out of them as soon as they get up in the morning, so they know what to expect if they step out of line. But I´m also a responsible adult (when I´m not on RAWK), so I have to show great restraint. I find that ignoring kids when they´ve been bad pisses them off much more than shouting or smacking.

Author Topic: Kids: To smack or not to smack? (Read 5459 times)

Pheeny