I echo much of what you've said in this thread Sian, I'm a touch younger than you but I'm approaching 30 and I've struggled with many similar things to what you've referred to. I remember about 5 years ago I was broadly suicidal, self-harming and I just had no structure, I'd been through some personal relationship struggles, I was dealing with the loss of a loved one and I just didn't want to be here any more.
Then down a YouTube rabbit hole I clicked on a video called 'Kill Yourself' by Bo, and I didn't know what to expect. I recognised his name from the internet but I wasn't familiar with him. I watched it and for the first time in about 6 months I actually cracked a smile and laughed. I cried at the same time because the message it sends, but I actually laughed for the first time in so long. The next one I watched was a song called 'Sad', and for the absurdity of it I cried fucking happy tears only, I needed that release so bad and I felt some happy emotions for the first time in what seemed a lifetime.
Bo is insanely talented, both as a writer, in a comedic sense, and he's got that vulnerability about him that makes you warm to him even more. I've put off watching his new special for a little while because I've had a tonne going on, but now that I've watched it I am again blown away by this man's charm, his insight, his timing, his production and his openness. Good on you Bo, this is the best work you've ever done and the bar is pretty fucking high. I hope he's in a good place now and down the line I'm looking forward what he does next.