You've argued some really great points. Just one key issue though, the Arthur Arberry translation is
not the accepted translation used in the Islamic academic circles, it really is Yusuf Islam's translations that are used. I can quite comfortably say that if you visit the nearest Mosque in your region and ask for an English translation of the Quran, they'll offer you a Yusuf Islam translation. In Western acadamies they used a translation via the likes of Pickthall (probably right up until the 70s), but they've moved on from then, and it may be they use Arberry's translation at this moment.
Back to on topic.
There are statements in the Quran (and Islam in general) that are unanimously agreed on as being understood as meaning "X", and then there are others that allow for different interpretations. I don't always want to be discussing the jurisprudence contained within Islam as per the subject of wife beating, but maybe one last example. Whereas there is an unanimous understanding that you can't leave a mark on your wife, and a wife isn't obligated to "accept" a beating (she's not
more religious if she puts up with an abusive husband as opposed to divorcing him), the issue becomes about the interpretation of the word "dharb". I mentioned that "dharb" has two meanings "strike" or "separate" as the word can mean both actions.
If you follow the premise that "dharb" means "strike", you can
interpret the verse as meaning "strike gently-but without leaving a mark" or "as a symbolic gesture". If you follow the premise that "dharb" means "separate", than you can
interpret that as sign that both parties should take a "break" from one another (the next verse discusses intervention via a third party, such as Imam, or family members from both sides).
Note that
neither of the above interpretations allow for physical abuse. Additionally, I never mentioned the action of using "grass" as an
interpretation of that verse. The story of Prophet Lot and
his action is used as an additional
proof that "dharb" does not mean a physical blow, specifically by those that follow the hypothesis that the word means "strike" and not "separate". There is no hypothesis that states wife beating is acceptable as long as you use grass. I've never stated that, and it's just a case of people trying to twist the main points that I've raised.
The verses quoted are important because it provides a discussion on the subject of wife abuse within Islamic communities. Wife abuse has always been in play throughout all societies, and is still active in today's era. Scandinavian countries, for example, are among the countries at the forefront of Women Rights in the world, yet they have the highest rate of domestic abuse in Europe. There is far more emphasis in handing down the punishment than there is in explaining
"how do we resolve these conflicts without reaching the stage of violence". What this verse helps to provide is a start for conflict resolution, with the following verse adding the next stage of conflict resolution (via an intervention).
Some posters are arguing that the word "fear" pretty much means "guesses", or comes to a conclusion "without proof", but again, I would argue that
they interpret it that way because of their preconcieved opinions (or bias) on the subject, as opposed to looking at the verse from a "neutral" angle. Quite frankly, if a husband decides to accuse his wife of something (without caring to have proof) and willfully ignores ALL her counter claims and defences, whilst following all the steps mentioned above simply for spite (or to punish her), than I'd argue he ALREADY has his own agenda in play (and is not concerned about being deeply religious). Thankfully, the verse DIRECTLY following this one, discusses intervention (the first stage of which is to bring family members from
both sides), in which case he'll get found out.
Finally, if a man has an abusive personality, the above verse probably isn't going to stop him. Physical abuse is the way he solves problems, and words in a text aren't going to stop him if he's already decided on his actions. He'll probably even use confirmation bias to justify beating his wife senseless, but that wouldn't be the stance of his local Imam, or the Islamic academic community as a whole. Additionally, if someone outside of Islam was to read the above verse and interpret it as the Quran granting "permission for a Muslim man to physically abuse his wife" than would be
their opinion. But the Islamic community (academic or otherwise) wouldn't be agreeing with you. One might even consider it as a form of confirmation bias on your part.