Topic: Anxiety

[Red Genius]

ahhh mate, last night i went for a long run, was fucked.... went to bed reasonably early, every 1 and a half or so i kept waking up in sweats, froom shite "nightmares" well they weren't....i'm a big boy, but they were shite dreams.

I punched the wall, my fist is now swollen like a rugby ball, had a cup of tea....went back to bed, got another hours kip.

I find when i get anxious, my rage is a good weapon.... "Yeah pal fuck off, you want some of this...then lets have it mate" Anxiety is for me a submissive feeling, hit it head on, take no prisoners and it fucks off.

[Cochise]

When I have one I feel like this is the end. I feel like just crying to myself. It's horrible horrible horrible. I tell myself it's just a panic/anxiety attack but then it's that horrible little thought in my head that says 'what of it's not? What if you are dying?" I think I really do need help. I has my heart tested by a cardio specialist and they told me everything was fine! What's the matter with me?

[Red Genius]

When I have one I feel like this is the end. I feel like just crying to myself. It's horrible horrible horrible. I tell myself it's just a panic/anxiety attack but then it's that horrible little thought in my head that says 'what of it's not? What if you are dying?" I think I really do need help. I has my heart tested by a cardio specialist and they told me everything was fine! What's the matter with me?

Nothing at all mate....

I became a bag of nerves the moment i allowed them to control me mate, 'a big fuck off and fuck you wanker' was the best treatment i gave myself....

When i got my heart racing, couldn't breathe, shat myself over something... i thought "fucking hell Alex you're a faggot" so the last time as it was coming on (and you'll agree you know when its building) i went ape shit... aggressive, angry...smacked fuck out of my wall, yes my heart was racing, but i was in control and that's the point - control it, and it doesn't control you.

Only last night i had 3 nightmares in a row, sweating my tits off..... i got up and smacked fuck out of a bag of clothes that looks like a heavy bag here...my flat mate came in proper worried, i explained....he then joined in...

It's all about control mate, take control of the twat and it won't control you... i've taken ever pill under the sun, and nothing has worked as good as my "personal management of it"

[Cochise]

Nothing at all mate....

I became a bag of nerves the moment i allowed them to control me mate, 'a big fuck off and fuck you wanker' was the best treatment i gave myself....

When i got my heart racing, couldn't breathe, shat myself over something... i thought "fucking hell Alex you're a faggot" so the last time as it was coming on (and you'll agree you know when its building) i went ape shit... aggressive, angry...smacked fuck out of my wall, yes my heart was racing, but i was in control and that's the point - control it, and it doesn't control you.

Only last night i had 3 nightmares in a row, sweating my tits off..... i got up and smacked fuck out of a bag of clothes that looks like a heavy bag here...my flat mate came in proper worried, i explained....he then joined in...

It's all about control mate, take control of the twat and it won't control you... i've taken ever pill under the sun, and nothing has worked as good as my "personal management of it"

I need to do exactly what you said mate. I've not got to let it get the better of me but to be honest its a struggle. It does seem to be mind or matter and I need find a way to achieve that.

[Red Genius]

I need to do exactly what you said mate. I've not got to let it get the better of me but to be honest its a struggle. It does seem to be mind or matter and I need find a way to achieve that.

Go for it lad, and if you ever need a personal boxing bag and you in cheshire, just shout me....i got a whole load of shit i want to be smacked for

You take care lad, if i can help i - i will..... keep your chin up lad, fight it.

[Tsar Kastik]

Anybody know anything about cognitive therapy re this? Ta

[Upinsmoke]

Cochise, i also check for a pulse if that helps haha.

I've managed to control mine to a certain extent, i mean when i'm in work n that it never really goes. I've been having issues breathing for about 3 weeks, maybe a month. Its nothing noticible, or other people can't notice but its there. I had a week off work a couple of weeks back and i was fine for the first few days, i took my little lad to my parents, just me and him. After 4 days there he started to get a cold and really whinged his head off which i let stress me out, but for those first few days i was fine. So i'm thinking maybe work related might be a trigger as well as the kids, sounds horrible that doesn't it, about the kids, like why the fuck did i have any if i can't cope. It actually only happened since we've had our second as well, one is three in january and the other 14 months. For a year she never slept, not like there supposed to, not like my eldest, i kinda let that shit get on top of me and then with work stressing me its kinda built up. Like i would get up at 6, get ready for work, leave at 7. Get to work for 8 (i hate the place but its money) get home, get changed, kids have there tea at 5, time for there bed around 6, half 6, can take hours getting him to sleep, get him to sleep by 8, still havent eaten, youngest won't sleep, spend another two hours getting her asleep, can't be arsed eaten at 10 pm, go to bed. Rinse and repeat for a year.

Its not that bad now with the kids, but its too late because i've already let this anxiety get to me and now i can't shift it. I'm not unhappy, or depressed, many people's life is worse than mine but i can't control my emotions, i know i'm getting stressed, if i flip on the kids i know its wrong but its too late. If i tell myself calm down its because i've just not been so calm and now the damage is done. I know shit isn't even that bad, its not even worth stressing over but i can't help it. So i'm telling myself things are ok but still feeling anxious and stressed. Like right now, i'm typing this in work. I don't have any issues with it, its a pretty simple job, a monkey could do it, pay is shit but i've had that my whole life and i'm lucky to be in a job, i get that so why is my brain still feeling anxious or whatever its doing if i don't. Sounds something Karl Pilkington would say that......"am i in charge of my brain or is my brain in charge of me" Haha, that's how i feel.

[Nazi Dickhead]

Gave up weed a few weeks ago. Getting to the point a few tokes just gave me instant panic attacks, the days of relaxing with a spliff are long gone. Not the drug though, 2012 was the worst year of my life, lost my girlfriend, my job, was in a car accident and someone close to me died. After all that my anxiety levels are so high, weed just enhances that mood and sends me into immediate panic attacks.

I smoked weed for years with no problems and it actually helped me with anxiety, unfortunately you can only ignore your problems for so long before they bubble up to the surface. Anyone experienced this kind of drastic change?

[Red Genius]

Anybody know anything about cognitive therapy re this? Ta

I did a bit of CBT mate - it's all about getting you naturally look at things differently, or positively. Go for it... it's a great longer term solution, medication or self medication only masks the problem, which is fundamentally you look at things the wrong way.

[Nazi Dickhead]

Anybody know anything about cognitive therapy re this? Ta

Causes you to look Introspectively at what is causing certain thoughts patterns and behaviours. It seemed quite elementary and silly to me at first, but it does cause you to reflect, stick with it and it's really useful.  I was given a pack full of stuff to sit and read through, I really didn't want to take any SSRI's so talking and reading was kind of my only option in terms of help.

[Tsar Kastik]

Many thanks RG and adam, very much appreciated.

[Spongebob Redpants]

Anybody know anything about cognitive therapy re this? Ta

Did a mindfullness based CT course a few years ago , and haven't looked back .

Still get the odd periods of anxiety / the blues , but nowhere near the depths I used to suffer .

[Tsar Kastik]

Cheers for that Spongey. So that's 3-0 so far, looking good.

[MONTREAL_RED]

Anybody know anything about cognitive therapy re this? Ta

Did a little bit of it, took maybe 5 sessions, stopped going as I just wasn't clicking with the shrink. It was interesting to dig into panic a little deeper, but right now it's just not for me.

If you're able to find a good doctor I'm sure it would be a great stepping stone in coping.

[skibaboo]

I did a 4 month CBT course this year after about 13 years with agoraphobia and panic disorder, I can't recommend it highly enough. It's hard work but if you give it your all and go into it with a positive outlook then it will pay off.  Some of the things you may think are too simple to be effective, some people dismiss it because of that, but there is a reason they tell you to do them, they are proven methods. One of them that helped me a lot, and I couldn't believe how much, was writing down my worries. I worry a lot, and instead of ruminating on the worries I write them down and put the thoughts out of my head, yes at first VERY hard to do, but I looked at it like an assignment, then after 1 week I set aside 30 minutes to review my list of worries. Proved about 80% of them were hypothetical and a waste of time, the rest were legit but I had resolved them. The purpose is to prove I can cope when something happens, and importantly to get my brain out of the habit of always worrying, so far so good is all I can say, it's becoming a new habit to push them out.

She taught me to live with anxiety instead of avoiding situations that made me anxious, still a long way to go with the agoraphobia but I'm doing well. Even made it to Leeds for my Birthday (I live in York) To go to REDS BBQ

[Fiasco]

Struggling badly tonight.

[Upinsmoke]

Struggling badly tonight.

Anything triggered it?

[Fiasco]

Anything triggered it?

Only just seen this reply mate, I know it was yesterday but I think it was the weekend of drinking. Had a party on Saturday and drank for the game the day after and when I drin heavy it kicks it off. I know it now, but at the time I don't think rationally at all. I need to learn to practice what I preach, I think I've said on this thread to other people try and cut down on the drink!

[Yolanderyolando]

I read rawk often but have never joined but when I read this thread I had to join.

Here I my story ....

3 months ago I was fine didn't have a care in the world I thought. I was out with my bird when my arm / hand got severe pins and needles, this lasted about 10 mins and got progressively worse, then I felt a wave of sickness and I though I was gonna pass out.... Then my heart went literally beserk..... I honestly thought it was the end for me and that I was having a heart attack.

My gf called an ambulance and I was rushed to hospital. In the ambulance my heart calmed down a bit and by the time I was checked out I was ok and I was told no heart attack, no infection / virus and the docs just said it was an episode.

A few hours later I'm home and go to keep. Anyway the next day I feel fucked like I've been on a lads holiday fucked. But I thought I'm ok no probs.

Anyway since then I have had about 6/7 of these episodes, been the hospital 3 times. I get chest pains for hours, pins and needles in my arms on and off and I generally feel weird.

I then began to worry about it after I went the docs and they were pretty much not arsed.

Was my heart packing in ? Was I goin to have a stroke etc etc.

My breathing became strange and I felt like I couldn't settle it down and I would wake in the night feeling like my chest was vibrating.

It's seriously fucked me up, I stopped going the gym and stopped running not wanting to risk my heart. The times I did go the gym I became ultra aware of my heart beating harder etc and that just made my mind go insane.

I went on holiday and it was basically 2 weeks of worry, I had chest pains, felt tired, felt dizzy / faint. I also kept getting boiling hot ears.

So I come back and tell the docs all my troubles again an demand investigations.

Anyway blood tests normal
Several ECGs normal
24hr monitor normal

Doc says its anxiety and the symptoms are real but are created by my own mind.

I've had a real hard time accepting this and still has the chest pains although less frequent But the main thing that is driving me crazy if a feeling of being lightheaded, disconnected. I feel like I can't concentrate at all. The only time I feel 100% normal is when I am going to bed.

I am 90% sure its anxiety but every time I get a chest pain or feel weird it sets my mind off.... Has the doc missed something an my heart is going to pack in etc etc.

It's ruined the last 3 months of my life and at times I have genuinely thought I was losing my mind. After a load of reading I am trying to accept its just anxiety.

As I type this now I have a burning sensation in my right arm !!

Sorry for going on just wanted to get that all off my chest !

My bird thinks I'm a weirdo and my mum and dad tell me to stop being soft !

[Upinsmoke]

I read rawk often but have never joined but when I read this thread I had to join.

That sounds bad, really traumatic. I haven't had anything that bad fortunately but do sympathise with ya mate. I also went through a stage where i felt disconnected and couldn't concentrate. I've had lightheadedness, fatigue so bad i didn't think was possible, weird empty rumbling sensations in my stomach, chest pains. Now i've had an issue with my breathing for about 2 months. Only time i feel okay is when i'm just about to go to sleep, when i am asleep and the first few hours when i'm awake. Some fella on the first page posted a link, how what your experiencing is real but its a state of mind. I think i have difficulty personally because i can't pinpoint the triggers, i know its bad in work but i can't figure out what is bringing it on in work, there's nothing staring me in the face, its a laid back job really. Subconciously i don't know what the fuck is going on though. Breathing is something that happens subconciously but i'm too aware of it. Talking to people about it helps, some girl in my work has also had anxiety issues and been put on meds by her doctor, i'm reluctant to go down that route, i'm also reluctant to talk to somebody qualified to talk about it, i prefer to keep my thoughts to myself or talk to somebody else that is experiencing what i'm experiencing.

[Yolanderyolando]

I think mine started from gambling. I have gambled heavily for years and the months before my first episode I had Lost a good few bags of sand.

The time of my first episode I had a bet on and was checking the game on betfair and my team went 1-0 down and I had a good few hundred quid on that I couldn't afford to lose. Anyway my battery died and 10 mins later the attack happened.

I also have two babies so I think everything has just piled on top of me without me being aware and it's just melted my head.

Haven't felt normal since the first one and being a very health orientated / health weirdo I think my mind has just gone over time with anxiety.

[AnfieldCat]

I've been reading RAWK for years and enjoying it but this thread made me finally join, I have been struggling with anxiety since my mid 20's. I am now 34 so its coming up to a decade and I can't stress enough how much of a life ruiner it is. I was made redundant 2 years ago and the thought of getting another job terrifies me, the thought of being trapped somewhere and feeling ill is too much. Any little symptom sets me off and I get the dizziness, spaced out feelings, sweats, numbness etc. I feel like I don't really live any kind of life because I am too scared to do anything and if I have an appointment somewhere I just dread it to the point where I feel ill. I am due to start a computer course next week and the thought of having to be somewhere 9-5 2 days a week is really scary to me.

The worst thing is because my anxiety is health based I won't try any medication for it because I am scared of side effects and any weird feelings they might give me and I have had 3 failed attempts with CBT. I think I have now resigned myself to the fact that I'll just have to put up with it.

[Nazi Dickhead]

I've been reading RAWK for years and enjoying it but this thread made me finally join, I have been struggling with anxiety since my mid 20's. I am now 34 so its coming up to a decade and I can't stress enough how much of a life ruiner it is. I was made redundant 2 years ago and the thought of getting another job terrifies me, the thought of being trapped somewhere and feeling ill is too much. Any little symptom sets me off and I get the dizziness, spaced out feelings, sweats, numbness etc. I feel like I don't really live any kind of life because I am too scared to do anything and if I have an appointment somewhere I just dread it to the point where I feel ill. I am due to start a computer course next week and the thought of having to be somewhere 9-5 2 days a week is really scary to me.

The worst thing is because my anxiety is health based I won't try any medication for it because I am scared of side effects and any weird feelings they might give me and I have had 3 failed attempts with CBT. I think I have now resigned myself to the fact that I'll just have to put up with it.

If you don't mind me asking, what's your diet/lifestyle like ?

[AnfieldCat]

If you don't mind me asking, what's your diet/lifestyle like ?

Of course I don't mind you asking, my diet is pretty awful, its not all takeaways or anything but its very bland, I have food phobia's so my diet is pretty limited. My lifestyle is OK, I walk a lot, I do a bit of dance exercise and I don't smoke but I wouldn't say I'm fit, I'd say I'm just average.

[Cochise]

Having a bit of an attack now. The horrible thing is I know I'm having one so why won't it stop? Which in itself is making me think maybe it's not anxiety but something else. Horrible horrible horrible.

[Yolanderyolando]

Every time I have one now or I feel weird I instantly think "this might not be anxiety I could be on the way out here" but they always pass.

Mine have been going on for 6 months now and I'm not dead yet so it's got to be anxiety !

[Cochise]

Every time I have one now or I feel weird I instantly think "this might not be anxiety I could be on the way out here" but they always pass.

Mine have been going on for 6 months now and I'm not dead yet so it's got to be anxiety !

Mate I've had mine for over 4 years. Its horrible.

[starlightshadow]

Gave up weed a few weeks ago. Getting to the point a few tokes just gave me instant panic attacks, the days of relaxing with a spliff are long gone. Not the drug though, 2012 was the worst year of my life, lost my girlfriend, my job, was in a car accident and someone close to me died. After all that my anxiety levels are so high, weed just enhances that mood and sends me into immediate panic attacks.

I smoked weed for years with no problems and it actually helped me with anxiety, unfortunately you can only ignore your problems for so long before they bubble up to the surface. Anyone experienced this kind of drastic change?

Weed can really fuck you up if you're in the wrong mind for it. I suffer from pretty bad anxiety and it's been getting a lot worse recently (probably a good thing on balance because there's a lot of things in my life I need to deal with and overcome and I feel like my anxiety levels are a pretty good indicator of how close I am to achieving that, though it feels absolutely shit).

Recently I was working in Spain. Had some weed with a few friends a couple of times; it was just normal, like every other occasion I'd tried it, until the last time. It felt like absolute hell; I couldn't remember where I was in time and space after a few seconds, I really had to think about it e.g. where I was in relation to the door. Nothing felt very real at all, and I just had this lingering sense of horror and dread, like I was staring into the void. I felt convinced I was slipping into schizophrenia, and began wondering when I'd start seeing the fairies and goblins telling me to set something on fire.

The odd thing is I didn't even have that much of it, I'd actually had more a few days before and felt fine after, it just seemed to trigger something inside my head. I sort of felt a little silly for having such an extreme reaction off a little bit of what is essentially quite an inoffensive drug. I eventually had to tell myself that the fact I was so worried about going mad was probably a good indicator of my sanity, and I managed to snap out of it, but it's put me well off weed at least until I'm happy enough that I'm in a good place mentally and have sorted out my emotions. As for stuff like shrooms or acid, a couple of years ago I would have considered it. Right now? Forget it.

[Yolanderyolando]

I've had a bad couple of night with my kids and they have been up all night sick which means I've had only a few hours kip a night.

This mornin I felt fucked, proper fucked. Anyway after lunch I could feel my head getting hotter an hotter and my ears an my heart started beating faster and faster.

Walked the car in the end and just had 10 minutes deep breathing and I feel a lot better.

Face and ears are still fucking boiling though.

Does lack of sleep cause any panic attacks for anyone else ?

[Nazi Dickhead]

Of course I don't mind you asking, my diet is pretty awful, its not all takeaways or anything but its very bland, I have food phobia's so my diet is pretty limited. My lifestyle is OK, I walk a lot, I do a bit of dance exercise and I don't smoke but I wouldn't say I'm fit, I'd say I'm just average.

Just some advice from my experience, because I too had quite a limited diet and suffer from anxiety. Speaking to some top people at my local clinic suggested that I alter my diet (and eating habits) to start taking in food that can help when suffering from anxiety as well as cutting out foods that can contribute to increasing anxiety.

A quick google search will give you a lot of information on certain foods that have value when combating anxiety (an some can be easily added to food your eating with little effort) and I found changes in what I was eating helped me. If you haven't looked at this aspect might be something worth looking into. Anxiety can do a real number on your mind and body and a healthy and varied diet can really give you a boost. No diet will eradicate anxiety but it can help with releasing certain chemicals in the brain that help with mood.

[AnfieldCat]

^Thanks, I'll look into it, I am very limited to what I will try food wise though because I get scared new things will make me ill, I wish I could eat fruit and things like that but the thought turns my stomach.

[Macphisto80]

I've had a bad couple of night with my kids and they have been up all night sick which means I've had only a few hours kip a night.

This mornin I felt fucked, proper fucked. Anyway after lunch I could feel my head getting hotter an hotter and my ears an my heart started beating faster and faster.

Walked the car in the end and just had 10 minutes deep breathing and I feel a lot better.

Face and ears are still fucking boiling though.

Does lack of sleep cause any panic attacks for anyone else ?

I've been reading this thread and been meaning to write something on this as I've had experience with anxiety in the past. It's one of those things that is pointless to even try to describe to someone else who hasn't experienced what it actually feels like, as they'll never understand or "get it" until they experience it for themselves. It is pretty much the most horrible feeling or experience you can suffer, and I seriously sympathize with anyone on here that is suffering with it. The bit I've highlighted in bold is important. Your sleep is crucial to this, and in my experience, it's usually the trigger. Sleep is how your body recharges and fixes itself. It is also when your mind switches off and 'downloads' all of your thoughts, emotions etc, and stores whatever you did during the day to your memory. Lack of sleep leads to stress. I'm no doctor or expert or anything, but I'd imagine the lack of your brain doing what it's supposed to do during the process of sleeping would cause a kind of build up of activity in there that would cause something to eventually give. It is usually whenever I find myself almost asleep, but not quiet, that I've felt the onset of anxiety. It's like your thought gets trapped in a loop, and you can't break out of that loop, then you panic. I'd also agree with alcohol does not help either, although I'm not really much of a drinker, but it can elevated stress. My advice would be to get active. Do something that seriously drains your energy, so that when you do go to sleep, you're out like a light and you sleep soundly without waking up. That's important.

[Nazi Dickhead]

I remember having a really troubling time towards the end of my course at University. Sleeping was such a fearful event because I would try to fall asleep and just as I would start to drift of to sleep, a massive state of panic would hit me and force me awake, and sometimes even force me to get out of bed with such a fear that I was dying. Every night was hell and the stress from it just made it worse and worse, the only way i would get sleep was from passing out of exhaustion. To this day I still have to fall asleep with my mind distracted on T.V until I pass out from tiredness because I'm terrified if I try to fall asleep without my mind distracted I fall back into that cycle! It got me hooked on sleeping pills and all sorts just to try and shut my mind off at night.

[Cochise]

Gonna sound daft as fuck this but do you know what calms me down? Picking up my kids 'Where's Wally' book. Don't know why, maybe it's because my mind is trying to find the specky get!

That's daft right?

[Yolanderyolando]

I've been ok the last few weeks but still half believe I have some sort of cancer. Lymphoma or a chest cancer.

Is seriously not normal to worry about it this much.

[ghost1359]

Does lack of sleep cause any panic attacks for anyone else ?

My anxiety goes through the roof when I haven't had enough sleep. Also when I'm hungry.

[ghost1359]

Gonna sound daft as fuck this but do you know what calms me down? Picking up my kids 'Where's Wally' book. Don't know why, maybe it's because my mind is trying to find the specky get!

That's daft right?

Not at all, playing computer games used to calm me down. It's exactly as you said, having something to concentrate on relieves anxiety. Quietens your mind if you will.

[Upinsmoke]

I've been drinking camomile tea for the past two weeks now and it's helped loads. I've finally started to breath normally or what feels like normal anyway. Can't believe something so simple can help so much.

[Cochise]

In the middle of one now. Fucking horrid. I get them 9 times out if 10 at night when I'm in bed. Typing in here helps me take my mind of it if inly for a couple of minutes. I'm knackered but if fall asleep in that few minute lull I'll be happy.

[Cochise]

This may sound like a strange question but does anyone else need a crap when they are having an anxiety attack? I almost always seen too!