Topic: Relationship troubles

[♠Dirty Harry♠]

Came to this thread a bit late, but from what I've read, the real relationship trouble is not between you and your girl, but between you and a small box of Tampax. You obviously need something more substantial in your life like a huge Costco sized box of jam rags, seeing as you're such a fucking massive quim.

Where is Macca?

[jason42]

Where is Macca?

Not been on for ages now....

[Gayle J]

This is the game for you, you said you were previously gonna end it with her but she has got in there first, your pride is dented. Go out and have some fun....

[stevedo]

Judging by other threads, Bump.

[And Could He Play]

Judging by other threads, Bump.

ME AND THESE THREADS ARE IN A RELATIONSHIP.

[C]

ME AND THESE THREADS ARE IN A RELATIONSHIP.

It'll never last

[And Could He Play]

It'll never last

lasted longer than any relationship i've had with women, thats for sure. 

[Lady_brandybuck]

ME AND THESE THREADS ARE IN A RELATIONSHIP.

I can't wait to see you ranting about these threads on the ex girlfriend one. Calling them a bitch and all

[And Could He Play]

I can't wait to see you ranting about these threads on the ex girlfriend one. Calling them a bitch and all

i'm on thin ice in those threads after my recent actions. 

[Lady_brandybuck]

i'm on thin ice in those threads after my recent actions. 

that's why you're here? to discuss the relationship troubles you're having with them!?

[And Could He Play]

that's why you're here? to discuss the relationship troubles you're having with them!?

aye, ha ha.

[chriswesley]

Any advice on how to "chill the fuck out"??

Basically a bird in work, she's always had boyfriends the past 3 years and i've been single. Always got on like a house on fire.. now she's single, i swoop in and start hanging out and yes we get on brilliantly and its all good hanging out, drinking with mates and sleeping together. She genuinely does really care about me and says shit like she cant fault me at all and i would be her 'ideal bloke'. But because she has always had boyfriends she wants to be single to sort her shit/head out.

So I really need to chill the fuck out and back off, but like in many cases - if you back off then some other fuck will swoop in and get in her head and then im out of the frame.

I can force myself to back off, but need to find the right level of being around her and giving her the space she needs to give her head a wobble.

[Joff]

Get her pregnant. Trapped.

[And Could He Play]

Any advice on how to "chill the fuck out"??

Basically a bird in work, she's always had boyfriends the past 3 years and i've been single. Always got on like a house on fire.. now she's single, i swoop in and start hanging out and yes we get on brilliantly and its all good hanging out, drinking with mates and sleeping together. She genuinely does really care about me and says shit like she cant fault me at all and i would be her 'ideal bloke'. But because she has always had boyfriends she wants to be single to sort her shit/head out.

So I really need to chill the fuck out and back off, but like in many cases - if you back off then some other fuck will swoop in and get in her head and then im out of the frame.

I can force myself to back off, but need to find the right level of being around her and giving her the space she needs to give her head a wobble.

so are you just fuck buddys then?

[Not Bob]

Get her pregnant. Trapped.

Yep. Poke holes in the rubbers, or leave them out in the sun, things like that.

You could also tell her you have herpes, so now that she has it too, she might as well just stay with you.

[soxfan]

Any advice on how to "chill the fuck out"??

Basically a bird in work, she's always had boyfriends the past 3 years and i've been single. Always got on like a house on fire.. now she's single, i swoop in and start hanging out and yes we get on brilliantly and its all good hanging out, drinking with mates and sleeping together. She genuinely does really care about me and says shit like she cant fault me at all and i would be her 'ideal bloke'. But because she has always had boyfriends she wants to be single to sort her shit/head out.

So I really need to chill the fuck out and back off, but like in many cases - if you back off then some other fuck will swoop in and get in her head and then im out of the frame.

I can force myself to back off, but need to find the right level of being around her and giving her the space she needs to give her head a wobble.

Based on a couple of such issues that I faced (one I did well in, the other not), here's my advice. DON"T keep pushing. I did that once and the girl thought I was becoming clingy, which is ironic because that relationship began with me seeming mysterious to her which was like a magnet.

In a 2nd case, I had a woman calling me 8 years - YEARS - later pining for me because I gave her space when she needed it.  I had gone back to being someone she had to chase, which as we know makes you more attractive. No one wants someone desperate. We all want someone hard to attain.

So let the girl know you're available and want her, but accept the fact that she might let some rat boink her as she "finds herself" and enjoys single life. That's the hard part that will drive you crazy. But at some point ( a month, a year, 5 years?) she will want to be with the man who treated her best. Make sure that you are the one she respects most in that manner. 

But if you're honest with yourself and she's just a lay to you, then get your last jollies in, enjoy it, and move on to your next girl. Oddly enough, you walking away not giving a fuck will probably make her chase you.

[And Could He Play]

i dont chase them, i replace them.

[Sir Harvest Fields]

i dont chase them, i replace them.

Paul, you shut up

[Anywhichwayicant]

If some other eagle swoops in and robs your salmon, just move upstream and find another one.

[And Could He Play]

Paul, you shut up

 , just in a good mood tonight mate.

[chriswesley]

so are you just fuck buddys then?

It started casual yeah, but it got more than that after about a month. She was ok with just boxing away her feelings cos she didnt want a fella. But I have reacted like aright fag and started chasing her

[Brian Blessed]

I'm concerned about a couple I know, let's call then Tobias and Freuline. They have a budding romance, but my concern is theyll both want to stop shagging me on the sly now. Any tips?

[And Could He Play]

I'm concerned about a couple I know, let's call then Tobias and Freuline. They have a budding romance, but my concern is theyll both want to stop shagging me on the sly now. Any tips?

 

[Lady_brandybuck]

I'm concerned about a couple I know, let's call then Tobias and Freuline. They have a budding romance, but my concern is theyll both want to stop shagging me on the sly now. Any tips?

[Gobias Industries]

I'm concerned about a couple I know, let's call then Tobias and Freuline. They have a budding romance, but my concern is theyll both want to stop shagging me on the sly now. Any tips?

Oh my god

[Andy @ Allerton!]

I have a cat. And I like Curry.

Actually I have two cats.

And I like curry.

A lot.

I should be a relationship manager. I'd be fucking ace.

"We don't like each other. The spark has gone."

"Well fuck each other off and find someone else. That'll be £2500. Now fuck off. NEXT!"

[And Could He Play]

yeah, and i used to be the president of america.

[Gobias Industries]

I'm concerned about a couple I know, let's call then Tobias and Freuline. They have a budding romance, but my concern is theyll both want to stop shagging me on the sly now. Any tips?

Sorry but those names, Tobias and Freuline, are cracking me up Someone should write a story about those two characters. It would be awesome.

[chriswesley]

So let the girl know you're available and want her, but accept the fact that she might let some rat boink her as she "finds herself" and enjoys single life. That's the hard part that will drive you crazy. But at some point ( a month, a year, 5 years?) she will want to be with the man who treated her best. Make sure that you are the one she respects most in that manner. 

But if you're honest with yourself and she's just a lay to you, then get your last jollies in, enjoy it, and move on to your next girl. Oddly enough, you walking away not giving a fuck will probably make her chase you.

Yeah it's the stepping back and allowing a 'rat' get into her that messes with my head.

But yeah, you are right mate, all im gonna end up doing is coming across as some emotional clingy little fart. Gonna try to step back and just let her see the fun side and not go into all the soppy stuff for a while. It's good timing really, her birthday is coming up and we have the work xmas doo. Leave her with her present and then disappear for a week or two - leave it in her court.

Cheers soxfan

[And Could He Play]

Sorry but those names, Tobias and Freuline, are cracking me up Someone should write a story about those two characters. It would be awesome.

softporn

[Gobias Industries]

softporn

Actually you're right Maybe someone should make a film about them instead then. Freuline has to be a German milk maid working on the farm owned by Tobias and his family.

[Andy @ Allerton!]

Sorry but those names, Tobias and Freuline, are cracking me up Someone should write a story about those two characters. It would be awesome.

Once upon a time Tobias and Feruline woke up. They went to work. Then came home. And had a nice meal. In front of the fire. They fed their dog Rex. And then went to bed. He reading a novel on Meccano and her reading a novel about Vibrating plastic thingies.

THE END.

[Gobias Industries]

Anyone want these chips? They suddenly taste a bit like piss.

[Brian Blessed]

Anyone want these chips? They suddenly taste a bit like piss.

I'll take them.

[soxfan]

Once upon a time Tobias and Feruline woke up. They went to work. Then came home. And had a nice meal. In front of the fire. They fed their dog Rex. And then went to bed. He reading a novel on Meccano and her reading a novel about Vibrating plastic thingies.
THE END.

They killed Rex and fed him to the dog?!?! WTF did Rex ever do to them?!?!? 

[TomDcs]

Yeah it's the stepping back and allowing a 'rat' get into her that messes with my head.

But yeah, you are right mate, all im gonna end up doing is coming across as some emotional clingy little fart. Gonna try to step back and just let her see the fun side and not go into all the soppy stuff for a while. It's good timing really, her birthday is coming up and we have the work xmas doo. Leave her with her present and then disappear for a week or two - leave it in her court.

Cheers soxfan

It's good advice that! As much as you might have developed strong(er) feelings for her it's never worthcoming across as clingy or pushy, it's the most off putting thing ever (as I've found out both as the clinger and the clingee). Let her sort her head out, try and forget about her a bit by doing stuff with friends, but don't phone her up when you're drunk over Xmas

I'm sure it'll all work out in the end.

[Rusty]

Well, after a period of things being better we have just had a major wobble...

She's back in Oz for Xmas (there for the whole of December and back in early Jan), basically her contract here in the UK is up towards the end of the year, and she's always maintained that she wanted to go back when it was up.

Trouble is, I'm trying to make a bit of a career change - it would be fairly hard for me to get back to Oz doing the same thing that I'm still doing. So I'm applying to firms (in a different area) that have international offices, which would allow me to get back to Melbourne with her, the catch is that most of them require you to put in 18-24 months before you can get a transfer. So I mentioned that and pointed out that her boss has already mentioned she could extend her contract for another 2.5 years, and that maybe we could stick here for at least another 18 months and then move back to Melbourne. She pretty much refuses to entertain the notion of staying here any longer than her contract running out

Alas we just spoke on Skype, she said "Oh this Skype will be good practice for next year", and then pretty much confirmed that if her old boss gets funding then she will definitely be moving back whether or not I come along.

So the choices are:
(i) Finish up work here at the same time as her, and move back to Oz and try to get a job (not necessarily easy, also I would be giving up a guaranteed contract here that would last at least 4-5 years); OR
(ii) Continue trying for a career change, and face the prospect of 18-24 months of long-distance relationship, and then hope after that I would be able to transfer to Oz (not necessarily guaranteed); OR
(iii) Accept the fact that to her, being in Melbourne at all costs is more important than our relationship, and call the whole thing off and return to a life of being single (at nearly 32, not a prospect I look forward to).


I don't like the sounds of any of them, but she won't entertain my suggestion - (iv) she sticks it out here for another 12-18 months while I get my career in a position to be able to move back to Melbourne with her, so that leaves us at a bit of an impasse.

Ah fuck this is doing my head in.

[J-Mc-]

to be honest, she's being a selflish twat by the sound of it.

Why should you have to change your entire life just for her when she doesn't seem willing to do fuck all to keep you closer together?

[Rusty]

to be honest, she's being a selflish twat by the sound of it.

Why should you have to change your entire life just for her when she doesn't seem willing to do fuck all to keep you closer together?

You know what, part of me agrees, and thinks that actually we would be better off just calling it quits and going our separate ways.

Her argument is that she is really homesick over here, doesn't really like her job, hasn't settled at all and is desperate to go back, and doesn't want to start a new job for 12-18 months, only to have to move back then. I think that she could be a bit braver and more understanding about the whole situation if I'm perfectly honest with you.

[J-Mc-]

You know what, part of me agrees, and thinks that actually we would be better off just calling it quits and going our separate ways.

Her argument is that she is really homesick over here, doesn't really like her job, hasn't settled at all and is desperate to go back, and doesn't want to start a new job for 12-18 months, only to have to move back then. I think that she could be a bit braver and more understanding about the whole situation if I'm perfectly honest with you.

You're willing to move to the other side of the world for her, the leastshe could do was give you an extra year and a half to get everything sorted before moving out there with her.

She doesn't need to be braver, she needs to be less selfish mate, seems like it's all about her and fuck what the world wants from her point of view.

If she hasn't figured out that you're willing to make a life changing sacrifice and move to Melbourne JUST for her then she's not worth the air you're breathing in wasting your time mate.