Theres no point finishing the sentence, Lynn, because I AM NOT driving a Mini-Metro.
Go on, try and finish the sentence and see what I do. Go on.
Alan: Sophie, did you get your chocolate orange?
Sophie: Yeah.
Alan: I got you a dark chocolate one because I know you don't like milk.
Sophie: I do like milk chocolate.
Alan: Oh, right, well I could exchange it. I could talk to my chocolate people.
Sophie: Oh, yes please.
Alan: Right. Er, have you tampered with the wrapping?
Sophie: No, but there is a bit of superficial damage to the box.
Alan: Don't bother about the damage. They're all damaged. Right, have you kept it below room temperature?
Sophie: I don't think so.
Alan: Ah, right. In that case? I'm afraid you've invalidated the warranty. Above room-temperature it all congeals into one big dark-chocolate cricket ball. So, I'm afraid your consumer rights no longer apply. I mean, you could try Watchdog, but I think they've got bigger fish to fry.
Later.....
Jill: Ahh. Thanks for the chocolate orange, Alan.
Alan: You're welcome. Did you notice anything about the box?
Jill: No.
Alan: Exactly. All the others had superficial damage. I paid for yours. All your segments were intact.
Alan: Actually, Sophie, there's an issue I've been meaning to raise for the last two weeks. You know those little soaps you leave in the bathroom? Well, they will withstand, at best, one aggressive body scrub. They start up the size of mini-Frisbees, and they end up like actual size paracetamol.