I keep trying to write something. It either ends with me wanting to smash everything in the room or bursting into tears. Or both. My family got the post-surgery results today. Some of it was good - it doesn't appear to have spread anywhere - but the rest of it was bad: it's a nasty, aggressive little bastard that's kicking it with the stage 3 big boys on the grand cancer scale of things, and that means chemo. It's hit us like a train because none of us were expecting this. We all thought it was a fuzzy stage 2. Hit it with some radiotherapy and 5 years of tablets and we're home and dry. But no, we're looking at 6 months of chemo followed by radiotherapy and then 5 years of tablets. We were looking at April/May holidays to Croatia and now we're looking at wigs and bandanas and how to draw on eyebrows. I am so, unbelievably angry, but at who or what I've no idea. God I wish I had something to punch or smash or pummel or kick.
Can those of you who have had chemo give me an idea of what to expect? I appreciate it affects people in different ways, but how bad is the nausea? Do any of the anti-emitics work? How tired is she going to be and is there anything I can do at all? I feel so totally, utterly redundant.
Very sorry to hear that Kez. As you say, chemo affects people in different ways. I'll always remember my oncologist say that she's seen elderly ladies breeze through it and rugby players the worst side effects. I was on the rugby players' side, unfortunately. The first lot of chemo drugs caused nausea, hair loss, metallic taste, heartburn, and other side effects. The second lot of chemo drugs caused horrendous pain, which was made worse by the fact that I had to inject myself with medicine to get my white blood cells up and I reacted to that. No nausea mind, and my hair started growing back. Still problems with taste, heartburn, haemorrhoids, weight gain, fatigue that got progressively worse, etc. The anti-sickness tablets worked well for me - they increased the dosage after the first chemo cycle and although I still felt a bit sick, it wasn't too bad.
There are a few things you can do to help. First of all make sure that there is food that she actually wants to eat. I was sending my Mum all over the place to get me watermelons, pineapple, chips from the Chinese shop, etc. Your body kind of dictates what you want to eat, so be prepared for many trips to shops. Also practical things, like taking the dog for a walk if there's a dog, or doing the shopping and housework. And just carry on with your normal relationship, and be ready to be open and frank. One thing that I loved was that a friend put out a fat ball on a branch just in front of my bedroom window - I could just sit there and watch wildlife from the comfort of my bed or chair when I was too unwell to do anything. I also had help when I wanted to paint, with people cleaning my brushes once I was finished. So things like that, obviously adapted to the patient, is great.
Feel free to contact me - I've just finished my fourth year of treatment, with two more to go. Sending you lots of positive and healing vibes. And don't forget to take care of yourself during all this - I sent my Mum away so she could recharge her batteries and had other people be my main carers for a bit.
