Topic: Cancer

[loozy]

And talk to your Dad.  I do.

It really does help. I wrote letters to my grandparents for years.

[Welshred]

Well seeing as you're only 26, I'd have thought that was not unremarkable behaviour for your age.  I respectfully suggest you judge yourself too harshly.  I certainly don't see you as an absolute mess.  Seeing your Dad die, especially in those circumstances, is a shattering emotional experience.  Cut yourself some slack love. 

And talk to your Dad.  I do.

Thanks Maggie. I still feel vulnerable though.

I try to. I do it more when I'm at his grave. Only been once in 6 weeks though which I hate.

[Roady]

Welshred, I dont know if i can be of help im no expert but ive been there anddone it too mate, i done a lot of stupid stuff after my dad died.Fel free to Pm if you ever fancy a chat.I dont know you but im certain your dad is one very proud man having you as his son.Never be afraid to tlkto him,i do it a lot.My dad had a favorite part of the garden i often go to and say hello to him and jus get stuff off my mind,it really does help.

[rusty-la]

Monday was 6 months since my dad passed away. It's gone so quickly but so slowly at the same time. I miss you so much Dad!

Three years for me. My Fathers passing was probably the reason I joined RAWK.

It's not easy Welsh, but feel free to share the burden in here if it helps, we're all on the same side.  Good luck.

[۩ Imperator ۩]

This young lady has just had her 16th birthday. As a present she received the news that her second follow up MRI scan was all clear. Her attitude to life is a total inspiration.

More good news yesterday - another clear scan. They will now reduce to four-monthly scans.

[JohnnoWhite]

10/10! Excellent news - keep up the good work young lady!!!!

[kitster]

3 weeks now since it took my dad. Feels like months somehow. Surrounded myself with friends which has been a big help. Myself and my sisters are dealing with it in different ways. I have thrown myself into work and am just finishing sorting all the posthumous details. Stopped drinking when he started to get really bad around new year. Not missing the drink at all. The whole experience has given me a fresh outlook on life. Want to achieve all the things i spoke about to him before he went. I may be masking the pain by busying myself, but at the moment it is working.
Welshred - I am sure your dad would understand the way you are dealing with it and the way you are feeling. Take up the offers from people on here about talking (me included), Talking to someone you dont know in person can be a massive help. I spoke to someone i had only met once in person online almost nightly. It somehow feels easier to open up and not feel as judged. Try not to beat yourself up about it too much, as people have said, you are young, and have just been through one of the most painful experiences anyone can have in life.

[JohnnoWhite]

Your post had me both sad and uplifted in equal measures mate. Some great and very sensible words of advice in there.
Very sorry for your loss but very happy with the way your life sounds like it's shaping.

[Slightly Less Mediocre Baron Bennekov]

More good news yesterday - another clear scan. They will now reduce to four-monthly scans.

This made my day! Excellent!!! Thanks for posting, Imp!

I've been thinking a bit lately. Since my dad passed 8 years ago because of cancer I haven't really let myself cry. I've felt sorrow, pain and been through the classic reaction pattern that comes with losing someone close to you but I've never allowed myself to just let go and have a good cry. My dad never did either and that's probably why I don't allow myself to do it.

Once a month I go to a guy who uses a special Chinese massage technique to keep my lower back in good condition. He's also a healer and despite I've been going for the better part of 4 years we've never really talked about the spiritual side of things. Yesterday however he asked me flat out when the last I cried was and I had to tell him I couldn't remember. He looked at me and asked but you did cry when your dad died, right? I remember crying once but that's about it. He then told me that if I wanted to be able to really love myself and for that matter let my wife and kids get close to me I needed to start crying to get all the locked up emotions out of my system. I've been thinking about what he said and I can see it makes sense but I find it REALLY hard to accept that I "have" to cry to get it out. Really hard!

Reading some of the posts on this page I've realised I better get started. I've decided I'll sit down with the missus and my daughter and watch those Extreme Makeover programs from USA. I've found they are able to make me really emotional and even get a tear in my eyes from time to time but I've never cried over them. Perhaps now is the time to start learning how to cry...

Thank you all for sharing these rather personal things in here. I hate it when I see this thread pop in when I press the "New replies" button but I love the compassion shown in here.

To all who those affected in some way by this terrible disease my thoughts are with you.

Thomas

[JohnnoWhite]

Again, another lovely human story. Fantastic Thomas - get it sorted and start the tears flowing.

If yer stuck for summat to start the tears off, go and watch Crewe's next home match.

[kitster]

Is great to hear the successful stories. My uncle is terminal now and looking about the same as my dad did 6 weeks ago. They lived entirely different lives, but i think my uncle took my dads death worse than most. Being that his cancer is almost identical it must be super tough. He was too weak to make the funeral also which has got to him. One of my mates did have surgery over Christmas to remove part of his bowel and things are looking good for him now. Hoping for another success story there.

Your post had me both sad and uplifted in equal measures mate. Some great and very sensible words of advice in there.
Very sorry for your loss but very happy with the way your life sounds like it's shaping.

Thanks mate. I know my dad would hate the idea of me hurting. Moving along may seem insensitive to some, but i know that dad would want that, an that makes me comfortable.

[kitster]

This made my day! Excellent!!! Thanks for posting, Imp!

I've been thinking a bit lately. Since my dad passed 8 years ago because of cancer I haven't really let myself cry. I've felt sorrow, pain and been through the classic reaction pattern that comes with losing someone close to you but I've never allowed myself to just let go and have a good cry. My dad never did either and that's probably why I don't allow myself to do it.

Once a month I go to a guy who uses a special Chinese massage technique to keep my lower back in good condition. He's also a healer and despite I've been going for the better part of 4 years we've never really talked about the spiritual side of things. Yesterday however he asked me flat out when the last I cried was and I had to tell him I couldn't remember. He looked at me and asked but you did cry when your dad died, right? I remember crying once but that's about it. He then told me that if I wanted to be able to really love myself and for that matter let my wife and kids get close to me I needed to start crying to get all the locked up emotions out of my system. I've been thinking about what he said and I can see it makes sense but I find it REALLY hard to accept that I "have" to cry to get it out. Really hard!

Reading some of the posts on this page I've realised I better get started. I've decided I'll sit down with the missus and my daughter and watch those Extreme Makeover programs from USA. I've found they are able to make me really emotional and even get a tear in my eyes from time to time but I've never cried over them. Perhaps now is the time to start learning how to cry...

Thank you all for sharing these rather personal things in here. I hate it when I see this thread pop in when I press the "New replies" button but I love the compassion shown in here.

To all who those affected in some way by this terrible disease my thoughts are with you.

Thomas

I havent really cried bar the moment he went and the end of the funeral. I know it is a release, but i cant seem to just let the tears flow like others. I do feel quite serene at the moment though. Has been a tough few years, so feels like a weight has lifted in that aspect.

[Slightly Less Mediocre Baron Bennekov]

Again, another lovely human story. Fantastic Thomas - get it sorted and start the tears flowing.

If yer stuck for summat to start the tears off, go and watch Crewe's next home match.

To be honest watching Liverpool games at times gets me close to crying, Johnno...

I havent really cried bar the moment he went and the end of the funeral. I know it is a release, but i cant seem to just let the tears flow like others. I do feel quite serene at the moment though. Has been a tough few years, so feels like a weight has lifted in that aspect.

I can really relate to this, Kit.

It's almost surreal your uncle is fighting the same thing as your dad. I really feel for you mate. As you've mentioned yourself further up this page if you need to rant/vent to someone please feel free to PM me at anytime mate.

[Bioluminescence]

Good luck fella - battle the bastard thing to a standstill - and win!

Doing my best, even though I'm a lass... Thanks for the encouragement though, sometimes it's needed

Hope your recovery will continue well. I'll send you some patience if that helps 

My pupil is a boy, 17 years old, passionate and talented footie player, never smoked a day in his life, healthy as a fiddle... 

Thanks loozy Much patience needed. Just shows how random this illness is - sending lots of positive vibes his way.

More good news yesterday - another clear scan. They will now reduce to four-monthly scans.

Great news! Thanks for sharing, rooting for her all the way

[Bioluminescence]

Welshred, you need to be kinder to yourself. Some good advice given to you by others so I won't add much. I find that it sometimes help to think about what I would say if a friend was in my situation - I'm quite harsh on myself so this helps me get a better perspective. Be good to yourself, wish you all the best.

Thomas - Extreme Makeover! I used to watch that during chemo. They even had back-to-back episodes at the weekend, which meant that I spent most of those in tears. I'm the opposite of you - I cry very easily, and I think that's partly down to what the treatment has done to my hormones. I hope EM helps you move on and find a better place to live your life. I'll be keeping you in my thoughts

[Bioluminescence]

3 weeks now since it took my dad. Feels like months somehow. Surrounded myself with friends which has been a big help. Myself and my sisters are dealing with it in different ways. I have thrown myself into work and am just finishing sorting all the posthumous details. Stopped drinking when he started to get really bad around new year. Not missing the drink at all. The whole experience has given me a fresh outlook on life. Want to achieve all the things i spoke about to him before he went. I may be masking the pain by busying myself, but at the moment it is working.
Welshred - I am sure your dad would understand the way you are dealing with it and the way you are feeling. Take up the offers from people on here about talking (me included), Talking to someone you dont know in person can be a massive help. I spoke to someone i had only met once in person online almost nightly. It somehow feels easier to open up and not feel as judged. Try not to beat yourself up about it too much, as people have said, you are young, and have just been through one of the most painful experiences anyone can have in life.

So sorry to hear about your loss, kitster. There's nothing wrong with keeping busy - it just a way of coping when the pain is still so raw. I know it's a cliché but there's no right or wrong way to do things - you do what's right for you at a particular time. It's good that you've got something to focus on, and I wish you every success in your endeavours.

[Slightly Less Mediocre Baron Bennekov]

Thomas - Extreme Makeover! I used to watch that during chemo. They even had back-to-back episodes at the weekend, which meant that I spent most of those in tears. I'm the opposite of you - I cry very easily, and I think that's partly down to what the treatment has done to my hormones. I hope EM helps you move on and find a better place to live your life. I'll be keeping you in my thoughts

Thanks so much... 

[Bioluminescence]

Thanks so much... 

 

Waiting to hear from my cousin as my uncle is getting the results of his latest scans today. Stressful times.

[Welshred]

I havent really cried bar the moment he went and the end of the funeral.

I cry a lot. I am now. I didn't cry at his funeral though and I feel guilty about that.

[Slightly Less Mediocre Baron Bennekov]

I cry a lot. I am now. I didn't cry at his funeral though and I feel guilty about that.

I didn't cry at my dad's funeral. My younger brother was crying so much I seriously was afraid he would drop the coffin on the way out to the hearse. I guess I stayed strong for a long time for him and my mom. My mom wasn't back to her usual self until 5 years after dad had died. Weird how different we react to the same situation us humans...

[Welshred]

I didn't cry at my dad's funeral. My younger brother was crying so much I seriously was afraid he would drop the coffin on the way out to the hearse. I guess I stayed strong for a long time for him and my mom. My mom wasn't back to her usual self until 5 years after dad had died. Weird how different we react to the same situation us humans...

It is isn't it? I started crying on the M62 earlier today, but still feel it's good too sometimes.

[Slightly Less Mediocre Baron Bennekov]

Today has been such a relief!

My missus went to a dermatologist to have some birthmarks removed because they were irritating her in the pant line and the bra strap area. When she got there she asked the doc to have a look at a small sore she had on the side of her nose that hasn't been healing properly for appr. 2 months. The doc immediately focused on the sore and removed it plus quite a bit more tissue. To make sure if anything was there it was removed. She told my wife she couldn't categorically say it wasn't or was cancer but it certainly looked suspicious.

Last night was my wife then had to call the doc to get the test answers and luckily it was nothing! The last 2 weeks have been nothing but "what if's" flying around in our heads and to get the all clear was a huge relief for her (obviously) but for me as well. We've been so tired all day and I put that down to being able to relax properly for the first time in 2 weeks.

Anyways just wanted to share to good news...

[JohnnoWhite]

Delighted to read the good news Ben!

[kitster]

Lost my uncle today. 4 weeks after my dad went from the same thing. Ruthless this year.

[Crosby Nick]

Lost my uncle today. 4 weeks after my dad went from the same thing. Ruthless this year.

Really sorry to hear that mate.

[Slightly Less Mediocre Baron Bennekov]

Lost my uncle today. 4 weeks after my dad went from the same thing. Ruthless this year.

I'm really sorry mate.

As always you can PM me anytime you want if you want to.

[Spongebob Redpants]

Lost my uncle today. 4 weeks after my dad went from the same thing. Ruthless this year.

Sorry to hear that mate .

Don't look in this thread too often because it really is heartbreaking stuff .

Thoughts are with everyone .

[JohnnoWhite]

Kitster posted:- Lost my uncle today. 4 weeks after my dad went from the same thing. Ruthless this year.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sorry indeed to hear this on top of everything you've had this year. Thoughts sent to you and yours mate.

[Bioluminescence]

Lost my uncle today. 4 weeks after my dad went from the same thing. Ruthless this year.

Very sorry to hear this - thoughts are with you and your family.

[Dowling10]

Lost a mate yesterday to this horrible disease, 20 years old he was.

Wasn't half a fighter and always managed to smile through everything put in his way. RIP Jamie x

[Lady_brandybuck]

Lost my uncle today. 4 weeks after my dad went from the same thing. Ruthless this year.

Sorry to hear that Kit. Stay strong mate YNWA

[Bioluminescence]

Lost a mate yesterday to this horrible disease, 20 years old he was.

Wasn't half a fighter and always managed to smile through everything put in his way. RIP Jamie x

Sorry to hear about this but glad he managed to smile throughout it. RIP Jamie

[AriGold]

Lost a mate yesterday to this horrible disease, 20 years old he was.

Wasn't half a fighter and always managed to smile through everything put in his way. RIP Jamie x

Brown? Yer I didn't know him mate but loads of people I know knew him. Horrible. Sorry for your loss.

A good mate of mines mum died last night because of it. He's only 23 like me, has a younger brother and sister too. Heartbroken for them, it's hit me proper hard.

[Maggie May]

Deepest sympathy and condolences to those who lost loved ones to this vile disease. 

[flw]

 In 1978 I was diagnosed with cancer of the womb. I was lucky it was contained in the womb and had not spread. Having a hysterectomy  saved my life.  It is a dreadful disease and takes so many lives unrelentless in its wake , young and old alike. My thoughts go out to all who have lost someone through this illness.

[Dowling10]

Brown? Yer I didn't know him mate but loads of people I know knew him. Horrible. Sorry for your loss.

A good mate of mines mum died last night because of it. He's only 23 like me, has a younger brother and sister too. Heartbroken for them, it's hit me proper hard.

Yeah mate that's the one. I'm not surprised, he knew everyone somehow haha. He was a boss kid, still hasn't sunk in properly. Feel so sorry for his family. Going to give him a good sending off tomorrow though.

Sorry to hear that mate, life just isn't fair at times. RIP.

[Fighting Irishman]

Not long home from the hospital, just had it confirmed that my mam has lung cancer which has spread to her thyroid gland, PET scan being arranged now to discover the extent of it and what course of treatment she will require.

8 months after my mother in law lost her battle with this disease, here we are again.

Devastated but trying to keep positive for my families sake 

[Crosby Nick]

Not long home from the hospital, just had it confirmed that my mam has lung cancer which has spread to her thyroid gland, PET scan being arranged now to discover the extent of it and what course of treatment she will require.

8 months after my mother in law lost her battle with this disease, here we are again.

Devastated but trying to keep positive for my families sake 

Best wishes mate

[Slightly Less Mediocre Baron Bennekov]

Not long home from the hospital, just had it confirmed that my mam has lung cancer which has spread to her thyroid gland, PET scan being arranged now to discover the extent of it and what course of treatment she will require.

8 months after my mother in law lost her battle with this disease, here we are again.

Devastated but trying to keep positive for my families sake 

For Fucks sake!! That's not right...

Thoughts are with you mate. Stay strong and remember to get things off your chest so you can support your mam in her fight. Feel free to PM me if you need to vent to someone completely outside your daily life.

YNWA!

[JohnnoWhite]

I'm sick to my stomach to hear of how this terrible killer rips lives and families apart. Why is it so?
I am going to post the happy news that my wife and I have become grandparents for the 8th time but for the FIRST time we have a grandaughter. She is so beautiful and looks so like her mother when she was born 33 years ago. In the midst of so much sadness I hope our news lifts you all.

May the world hopefully soon see an end to the pain and misery cancer brings. Best wishes and prayers sent to all.