Just wanna tell Andeeeee & Spen71 the obvious - that they deffo don't walk alone. The other posters on this thread including myself (and so many others) know how youz feel.
I haven't been able to meet up yet and with my lad playing footy on Sat morn I won't be able to do so before the derby either but I will make the effort soon.
Meantime lads, trust me... you have gotta get some of it out. Youz have got to talk. You cannot keep secrets from those close to you or they will get the wrong end of the stick and things could get even worse.
There are plenty of survivors accounts around this and other sites. See if you can read through any of them and think about being maybe putting your experiences down too. It is tough but it will help in the long-term.
I was a bit fuct up meself after Arsenal. Broken-Hearted and Proud as punch at the same time.
Truth Day goes down as one of Anfield's greatest nights.
We'll always have our down-times but we can deffo get through and live with it.
Definitley agree. Its one scary thought gettin all of that out, or some of it at least, and I only started properly last year around April. I had a massive run in with a couple of people, and I just thought "this has got to stop".
The guilt is what did it for me, I couldnt cope with it all the time, though Id try and just bottle it, but when the time ever came to think about it all, Id lose the plot, not handle anything, and things like work, relationships, family, would all go tits up. Having two girls meself, I have tried to take responsibility for making sure their dad want seen as a loser or a nutter (and its been said enough times), but its been a painful process getting to grips with all this.
Ive been like a scatter gun at times, thinking Im doing the right thing, but Ive found that telling people who know the most has helped -- and made it easier -- much easier -- to talk to loved ones too. Before I talked to people here and at the match, I felt like a total idiot with the thoughts. Nothing worse. As Kav said, it alienates people, who think you have something against them, or you have secrets that are bad -- worse still they feel its tearing you apart and if you arent talking, theres nothing they can do. Problem is talking can be the hardest thing -- people want something they can easily understand and until youve talked with others who understand without so many words, its hard to know how to put it across to people.
Id say to anyone here, anyone who suffers with the guilt and 'intrusive thoughts' as the 'professionals' put it, write it down, put it here, or anywhere where people are there who wont talk shite. You dont want to be patronised, you dont want an arguement, you dont want to argue the facts (we know them anyway), and you dont want to sound like your moping -- youre not, youre just getting it out in words, and that can be the hardest thing, I know.
It doesnt mean we'll be brilliant with it, and we know we'll never forget those who lost their lives -- God Bless Them -- it doesnt mean it'll all 'go away', but it means we might get some peace, and some more confidence in dealing with those who are closest so it doesnt wreck our lives.
Since last year, Ive talked a lot more, and Ive been really happy to meet some fantastic people from here -- when things take a down turn, I think of them and it does feel a bit better. Even more so, Ive felt more confident to make a difference with people who dont know the facts, the Truth Day was something I could never have got involved with or attached to before. It still got me in a state afterwards, especially with all the KM (****) stuff that came after too, but I knew it would this time, and I instead of bottling everything, I talked about it, with me dad, with others.
There are some REALLY good people out there. Ive been lucky to meet some here. Ive heard words that mean a lot to me, and theyve got to parts of me I thought no words could get to, in a very good way.
On a lighter note, though, it'd make me proud to see people join us for a drink -- colwos mate, lookin forward to it, and swoop, and cowtownred I think, hopefully (thats if his agent agrees -- he's gotta have one by now, one of our media heroes now I think
). But if anyone cant make it for the derby, or doesnt feel like it, drop us a line and make contact. Better to do something than nothing at all, definitely.