Topic: Christmas Carol For Roy Hodgson

[Dixon_Cox]

To 'Away in a Manger':

He stands in the goal
with his bald head
the hero is pepe
he'll always be a red

[rouge nell]

Tune: grandma we love (not really a Carol but Xmas no1)

There's noone quite like Royston
The lovely hugs he gives
His hair is bouffanted
It's like liberace's wig

He knows how to coach the players
Knows how to please the fans
He gets himself frustrated
And sits with his head in hands

There's noone quite Royston
He hasn't got a clue
When we are three nil down
Try using a sub or two

Royston we don't want you
Royston we don't
Even though you refuse to go
We live in hope

[RigBon1892]

Love this thread!

Got one to "A Spaceman came travelling" forming in my head but it'll probably be shite when I finish it.

[Finn Solomon]

Fairytale of Anfield?
by the Pogues and Kirsty McColl

It was Christmas Eve mate
In the drunk tank
An old man said to me, he won't see another game
And then he sang a song
Of Rafa in Istanbul
I turned my face away
And thought of you

Got rid of Hicks finally
Came in John Henry and NESV
We were all hoping
This year would be our year
So happy Christmas
I love you all Scousers
I can see a better time
When all our dreams come true

We've got Torres up front
We've got Reina in goal
When Maxi runs down the wing
And Agger stops them cold
When Cecil brought in Hodgson
On a cold summer's day
You promised me
That 4th place was waiting for us

[duvduv]

To the tune of holly and the ivy and a shameless steal of an earlier line but it just seemed to fit

The wally and konchesky
When they are both sent home
Of all the men who need to go
The wally bears the crown
The buying of Poulson
And the ruining of whats dear
The playing of the ten defenders
Its relegation we fear
 
The wally has no tactics
I think that’s really plain
And wally thought that we were good
At woodison, a shame
The buying of Poulson
And the ruining of whats dear
The playing of the ten defenders
Its relegation we fear
 
The wally has a hairstyle
That makes him look really gay
But it doesn’t really matter when
He’s thought of well at the LMA
The buying of Poulson
And the ruining of whats dear
The playing of the ten defenders
Its relegation we fear

[Skuzzlebutt]

Fowler rest ye merry RAWKite men
Let nothing you dismay
Remember, Rafael, our saviour
Will return one day
To save us from all Roy's crap
With tactics gone astray
O tidings of comfort and joy
Comfort and joy
O tidings of comfort and joy

From Juve, in Italy
The midfield man was bought
He doesn't move very much
And passes without thought
But hopefully Meireles
Will be the one to sort
O tidings of comfort and joy
Comfort and joy
O tidings of comfort and joy

We had a good young left back
But he has gone on loan
So Roy scratched his chin again
And got Fulham on the phone
Please, Fowler, Aurelio
Is no longer injury prone
O tidings of comfort and joy
Comfort and joy
O tidings of comfort and joy

We need a forward in January
To help Nando find the goal
But Roy will end up buying
Fucking Carlton Cole
But maybe he will try
That young Pacheco in the hole
O tidings of comfort and joy
Comfort and joy
O tidings of comfort and joy

That's fucking awesome.

[Phil M]

Phil, yours and Barnes10's one about Benitez are the best by a mile.

It's just that no body liked to say as you know what you get like with a multitude of praise.

Ah cheers chopper mate. I'm just glad that the six hours I spent perfecting it was worth it.

[Zappa]

To the tune of holly and the ivy and a shameless steal of an earlier line but it just seemed to fit

The wally and konchesky
When they are both sent home
Of all the men who need to go
The wally bears the crown
The buying of Poulson
And the ruining of whats dear
The playing of the ten defenders
Its relegation we fear

Soup Herb

[Mr Mojo Risin']

Roy Hodgson, are ya listening?
From that tree, that you're sitting in?
Now you're in charge of the best
stop spinning your head,
don't be the twit twoo sent the redmen down

[OLDIE]

Rocking around the bottom three
We use to be near the top
Man for man marking for all to see
When will this shite stop.

Rocking around the bottom three
We have nobody on the wing
Poulsens on and giving it a try
And we're all praying.

You will get a sentimental
Feeling when you hear
Voices singing let's bring back Rafa,
Agger sings Roy's a shite Gaffa.

 

[macca888]

Mary's Boy Child


Not long ago by Purslow and Broughton so the Holy Google said
Mrs Hodgsons boy child, Clueless Roy, was made boss on a very sad day.

Hark now hear the Kop will sing give the King the job to today
Otherwise we'll be in the bottom three when it gets to Christmas Day.
Mrs Hodgsons boy child, Clueless Roy was made boss on a very sad day.

While Scousers watched in shock by night,
They hoped to see a bright new shining star,
But all they got was Christian Poulsen, who played like his boots were stuck in some tar.

Hark now hear the Kop will sing give the King the job to today
Otherwise we'll be in the bottom three when it gets to Christmas Day.

Oh the tactics were such a bad show,
From the Anny Road there were tears of joy and laughter,
Kopites shouted "let everyone know,
there's no Champions League footy for years".

Roy came to Anfield Road one night,
Before he got his arse warm in the hotseat, Chelsea had gone right out of sight.
Sitting on the Anfield bench he cut a figure that looked forlorn,
Never had a fucking tactical clue and so Wimbledon '88 was reborn.

Hark now hear the Kop will sing give the King the job to today
Otherwise we'll be in the bottom three when it gets to Christmas Day.
Mrs Hodgsons boy child, Clueless Roy was made boss on a very sad day.
 
Oh the tactics were such a bad show,
From the Anny Road there were tears of joy and laughter,
Kopites shouted "let everyone know,
there's no Champions League footy for years".

Oh my Lord...
You sent Hodgson to save us
Oh my Lord...
He is a massive penis
Oh my Lord...
This shite may not enslave us and Rafa reign once more

Oh my Lord...
Footy that's unforgiveable
Oh my Lord...
Stinking of Werther's Originals
Oh my Lord...
Never believing we would eventually score.

[Eeyore]

Christmas is coming
The Reds are playing shit
No one's surprised
Cos Hodgson is a Tit

If you've got a Fiver
Then Koncheskey's the fullback for you
If you haven't got a fiver
Then you will have to take Poulson too.

[Fanxxxxtastic]

Love this thread!

Got one to "A Spaceman came travelling" forming in my head but it'll probably be shite when I finish it.

Oh go on, give it a go.  I love Chris De Burgh.

[Gmol]

Away in a Manger

Away we're no danger
the LMA say,
lets give it to Royston
as his hair look look gay

Then the Kop came calling
and little Hodgson cheers
He talked to Konchesky
and gave him 4 years

Hodgson bought little Poulsen
who played balls sideway
and looks like a scarecrow
as his hair is gay

[RigBon1892]

Oh go on, give it a go.  I love Chris De Burgh.

Still not finished yet. Bizarrely I've also got a Gillett and Hicks version of the song Stadtler and Waldorf sing in Muppets Christmas Carol forming in my head.

[Hymer Red]

To Once in Royal Davids City

Once the cancers had been ousted
Broughton gave us John Henry
but by then on us hed foisted
Roy from Fulham deary me
Roy you've bought a load of tat
And your tactics are old hat

Roy came here wanted by Purslow
Pundits said he was the best
But his plans are going nowhere
bottom half of league at best
Roy your game plans are so poor
Now its time you're shown the door

Watching Hodgsons team aint pretty
Poulson playing much too slow
No adventure playing awful
Hoof the ball the way to go
Roy your team are looking tired
I think its time that you were fired

Now that we have got new owners
Things are looking on the up
Just one thing that still needs fixing
Cecil Purslow sold us a pup
No plan B and ten men back
Roy its time you got the sack

That might be the last from me its getting hard now 

[John C]

George Michael - " (Roy's) Last Christmas"

Brilliant Phil.

Benitez?

Bonkers CHOPPER.

[macca888]

Brilliant Phil.Bonkers CHOPPER.

Don't feed Phil with feedback John, he's a vainglorious gobshite.   

There are some absolute peaches in here. Phil's, Chakan's and Hymers amongst so many others have had me in stitches.

[Floydy]

To the tune of Good King Wenceless.

We're bored senseless, looking out
on the fields of anfield.
konchesky in and Agger out
Nando in isolation.
In con-fer-ences Roy's a tit
says the B Team is shit
35 years on his CV
Mr Med-ioc-ri-tyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy....

[ScouseBrad]

To the tune of holly and the ivy and a shameless steal of an earlier line but it just seemed to fit

The wally and konchesky
When they are both sent home
Of all the men who need to go
The wally bears the crown
The buying of Poulson
And the ruining of whats dear
The playing of the ten defenders
Its relegation we fear
 
The wally has no tactics
I think that’s really plain
And wally thought that we were good
At woodison, a shame
The buying of Poulson
And the ruining of whats dear
The playing of the ten defenders
Its relegation we fear
 
The wally has a hairstyle
That makes him look really gay
But it doesn’t really matter when
He’s thought of well at the LMA
The buying of Poulson
And the ruining of whats dear
The playing of the ten defenders
Its relegation we fear

This is so funny.... i love:- The Wally has a hairstyle that makes him look really gay... fucking funny!

This post is boss!

[A Feint Zebra]

O Come All Ye Faithful
O Come Anfield Faithful
Joyful and triumphant,
O come ye, O come ye to the Pa-a-adock.
Come and behold him,
Born the King of Arseholes
O come, let us all egg him,
O come, let us all egg him,
O come, let us all egg him,
W-h-h-oy.


Whilst Shepherds watched...
Whilst Rafa watched his flock at Spurs
Getting played right off the grass.
Our saviour Roy was on Sky Sports News
Talking right out his ass.

[Lofty Ambitions]

To the tune of If I Should Fall From Grace With God (with apologies to the Pogues...)

If he should fall from grace with Kop
If there's no joy in Nando, none in Steve
If all we play is hoof-it-up
But D Agger would not believe

Then let him go, boys,
let him go, boys
Let him go down London Town
To manage Ing-errr-lund!

This Club was always ours
Was the proud Club ouf our fathers
It belongs to us and them
Not to any of the Bitters!

Let him go, boys
Let him go, boys
Let him go down London Town
To manage Ing-errr-lund!

Bury these tactics to the sea
They're not part ouf our phil-oso-phee
No one sits down this deep
Even Allardyce would agree

We're bottom three, boys
We're bottom three, boys
Let him go down London Town
To manage Ing-errr-lund!

[If he should fall from grace with Kop...]

[Then let him go, boys...]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DrBLqp-s__o

[Phil M]

Don't feed Phil with feedback John, he's a vainglorious gobshite.   

There are some absolute peaches in here. Phil's, Chakan's and Hymers amongst so many others have had me in stitches.

[Diomedieocre]

its called "Shite Christmas"


Im squirming at a shite....Christmas
Around mid table or below..............
While the arseholes listen....................
To the bullshit drippen........................
From many mouths of pundits and ex pro`s...............

Im dreading quite a shite...Christmas
Like if our Lucas went to Stoke..........
And I hope john Henry gets it riiiiiiiiiiight
And stop our Christmas being shiiiiiiiiite

 

[Aristotle]

Don't feed Phil with feedback John, he's a vainglorious gobshite.   

There are some absolute peaches in here. Phil's, Chakan's and Hymers amongst so many others have had me in stitches.

Which one did he write

[macca888]

Which one did he write

Sorry, I meant Chivasino's effort, you pedantic twat! 

And I forgot to add, yours are all shite       

[Aristotle]

Sorry, I meant Chivasino's effort, you pedantic twat! 

And I forgot to add, yours are all shite       

Well I knew that. So the jokes on you

[macca888]

Well I knew that. So the jokes on you

How dare you make that sign at me. You know I've broken my right hand you sly bastard, so it'll be at least 3 more weeks before I can live up to your estimation of me.

Anyway, where the fuck is Jen's Chris De Burgh one, the big tease?

[Phil M]

Which one did he write

George Michael - " (Roy's) Last Christmas"

[RigBon1892]

How dare you make that sign at me. You know I've broken my right hand you sly bastard, so it'll be at least 3 more weeks before I can live up to your estimation of me.

Anyway, where the fuck is Jen's Chris De Burgh one, the big tease?

I got distracted by my "Wednesday" headache.

[Hymer Red]

While shepherds washed their socks at night

While Kopites watched their team today
All singing man and boy
An angel of fowlers came down
and did something to Roy

Not sitting back and pushing up
A new way Roys team found
Play pass and move across the pitch
with the ball on the ground

Before half time we're 2 nil up
And looking well on top
With Lucas bossing in midfield
They're cheering on the kop

The second half we kept them out
And Chelsea got no joy
Despite having to eat my words
The praise must go to Roy

[Zappa]

Christmas is coming
The Reds are playing shit
No one's surprised
Cos Hodgson is a Tit

If you've got a Fiver
Then Koncheskey's the fullback for you
If you haven't got a fiver
Then you will have to take Poulson too.

[Brentieke]

Sacked on Christmas morning, you should be sacked on Christmas morning!

[Zappa]

The press think he’s so delightful

But his long ball game is frightful

Hodgson is full of woe

Let him go let him go let him go

[AndrewLFC_1971]

Away at St James'
No points for the reds,
No closing down Carroll
The ball's in the net,

Roy's rubbing his face
Has this man got a clue ?
We're so fucking shocking
On the road it's untrue.

I love my dear Red men
Come win lose or draw,
But Roy Fucking Hodgson
Please walk out the door.

You can't win away
Against shite like the Toon,
You sit there and moan
And just look like a loon.

[Fanxxxxtastic]

Still not finished yet. Bizarrely I've also got a Gillett and Hicks version of the song Stadtler and Waldorf sing in Muppets Christmas Carol forming in my head.

On the Muppet Christmas Carol theme, I'm struggling to spot the difference.  These two are identical twins.

[Terry de Niro]

On the Muppet Christmas Carol theme, I'm struggling to spot the difference.  These two are identical twins.

[AK47]

All we want for Christmas
is a brand new boss,
a brand new boss,
yes a brand new boss!

Gee, if we could only
have a brand new boss,
then we could wish you
"Merry Christmas."

It seems so long, since we could say,
the reds are gonna win away from anfield
Gosh oh gee, how happy we'd be,
if we had back king kenny

All we want for Christmas
is a brand new boss,
a brand new boss,
yes a brand new boss!

Gee, if we could only
have a brand new boss,
then we could wish you
"Merry Christmas."

[GorstStreetBoy]

Tune: little drummer boy

Go they told him
Ba rump Ba bum bum
Your not welcome here
Ba rump ba bum bum
Your driving us to beer
Ba rump Ba bum bum
Your hairdo's a bit queer
Ba rump Ba bum bum rump a bum bum rump a bum bum

Love this thread great to see it back!

[Dam Sodd]

Away at St James'
No points for the reds,
No closing down Carroll
The ball's in the net,

Roy's rubbing his face
Has this man got a clue ?
We're so fucking shocking
On the road it's untrue.

I love my dear Red men
Come win lose or draw,
But Roy Fucking Hodgson
Please walk out the door.

You can't win away
Against shite like the Toon,
You sit there and moan
And just look like a loon.

feel like a sherry an a mince pie now