Hope nobody minds me reviving this thread but I've had a funny couple of weeks and think its time I did something about it.
I've always enjoyed a gamble, and usually it was just a few quid on a Saturday afternoon acca or two, to keep the interest and you never know, win a decent wedge. This soon become accas for Sunday too. Then of course you dont want to miss out on those mid week games, cup knock-outs, champ league games, europa games....just when you think you get a night off-wham, French league 2, and Jupiler league on a Friday.
Over the last two years this has escalated into a virtually full time job-usually for bugger all returns too! Before I knew it, i was off to the casino, or Willy Hill to play on the roulette machines. I was even betting at work on my mobile-amazingly easy whilst you are bored out of your brains on an hour long conference call. I kept telling myself that it was ok, I could afford it, i wasnt living beyond my means-but i was. I've probably borrowed nearly £4k this year and virtually all of it has been frittered away on gambling. You can also add onto this my disposable income each month too. The weird thing is, there was no rhyme or reason to my betting- i wasnt just betting on sure favourites, or long shots, or even keeping a consistent amount. The amount of £1-£2 runnish accas I must have put on in the last 2 years must be astounding.
Well, at the beginning of December i knew i wanted enough left by the 24th to be able to enjoy myself, buy some nice food and drink, go round the xmas markets, etc. so I was tough with myself. Didnt go out, only stuck 2 accas on at the weekend, didnt do any mid week drinking/gambling etc and by the 5th (5th!!!) was feeling quite virtuous...i then decided to go to the casino with a mate.
Short story-£100 lost, but then clawed it all back, plus a little profit. Next day-off to bookies roulette. Same story. Sunday-casino and bookies...just about clawed it all back...plus some profit. Felt invincible, like i'd discovered a new winning formula-just keep pumping more and more money in until you win!
Of course eventually you hit the wall, the "unlucky" run which you couldnt possibly forsee, and for me it was on Friday night. Wasnt even planning on going out but arranged to see some mates in the pub not 20 feet away from the casino....
I still dont know what happened, but I was on a fruit machine, I lost (about £35) and something inside me snapped. I walked straight out, into the casino and between a mix of the machines, roulette and blackjack, lost another £130.
Not to be outdone, i went to the toilets and thought about how to get some cash, as i was officially skint until Monday. So I got a "Sunny" loan-the stupidest thing I've done for quite some time. Drinking and gambling rarely mix, and so in my addled state I thought it was fine, I can afford another £150 per month repaying this for six months.
Needless to say, lost the bloody lot. In the end i was just hitting the buttons out of habit, i didnt even care about the win, and actually ended up walking home (about 5 miles) as i couldnt face telling my mates who had turned up there at 2am that i had even spent my taxi fare home.
I knew at that point, walking home, that i'd been an idiot and i swore not to do it again...but then on Monday I ended up visiting the bookies 4 times (3 different ones) to play the roulette. Again at various points i thought "i can walk away from this, Ive still got 20/30/50 on me, thats something" but time and time again i kept hitting "bet" Lost yet another £80.
Well, last night after all of this, and after a good session at the gym, I felt a strange sense of knowing something was wrong. I was/am spiralling out of control, and I need to stop it now. I dont know if i will manage it-guess i just need to take each day as it comes, and try and stay out of temptations way. I'd love to go back to being able to just live with a couple of £1 accas on a Saturday afternoon, but Im not sure it wont lead to a slipery slope again.