Topic: Alcohol Issues - The Carl van Riel Memorial Thread

[Corkboy]

I don't go out Carl.
Always in the house, and yes I do look forward to the weekend, not particularly to get fucked up, but I look forward to having a few drinks.

I just don't know when/how to stop.

It's probably very naive of me, but in my head I have no problem.

What exactly is the problem? Is your health suffering? Does your alcohol use adversely affect your work? Social life? Marriage? Are there things you'd rather be doing at the weekend?

[Red Genius]

What exactly is the problem? Is your health suffering? Does your alcohol use adversely affect your work? Social life? Marriage? Are there things you'd rather be doing at the weekend?

Probably all of the above if my experience is anything to go by

[L666KOP]

What exactly is the problem? Is your health suffering? Probably. Does your alcohol use adversely affect your work?No, don't touch it if I'm at work within 24hrs Social life? Marriage? Are there things you'd rather be doing at the weekend?

I'm not sure to be honest.

Once I get on it, I can't stop. If there's 2 bottles of Vodka in the house I'll keep at them until I fall asleep, or finish them.

Then I have no interest whatsoever in beer/Spirits until next Friday. 6pm friday, few beers, hit the Vodka, Sat 3pm, few beers, hit the Vodka.

I've had one or two 'issues' previously on the ale as I've written in the thread.

If I work Sat/Sun I can go weeks without it. But even now, I'm looking forward to Friday. However, if I get asked to work Saturday I won't hesitate to go in, knowing I'll be having a 'dry' weekend.

[L666KOP]

Let me ask you something.

Thanks for taking the time Billy.
 

[Corkboy]

I'm not sure to be honest.

Once I get on it, I can't stop. If there's 2 bottles of Vodka in the house I'll keep at them until I fall asleep, or finish them.

Then I have no interest whatsoever in beer/Spirits until next Friday. 6pm friday, few beers, hit the Vodka, Sat 3pm, few beers, hit the Vodka.

I've had one or two 'issues' previously on the ale as I've written in the thread.

If I work Sat/Sun I can go weeks without it. But even now, I'm looking forward to Friday. However, if I get asked to work Saturday I won't hesitate to go in, knowing I'll be having a 'dry' weekend.

All that, and your answers in the quote, seem to indicate that your problem isn't a very damaging one. I don't know what "issues" you're talking about but if you're young, or not so young but without kids, you can do that lifestyle. It isn't a terribly healthy way to approach alcohol, but as I have said many times on this thread, there are all sorts of drinkers. You seem to be pretty disciplined in your drinking, you're holding down a job, have a functional marriage (or haven't said otherwise) and you can go for weeks without drink. When you do drink, you're not a problem to anybody. Stop hating yourself.

[TepidT2O]

All that, and your answers in the quote, seem to indicate that your problem isn't a very damaging one. I don't know what "issues" you're talking about but if you're young, or not so young but without kids, you can do that lifestyle. It isn't a terribly healthy way to approach alcohol, but as I have said many times on this thread, there are all sorts of drinkers. You seem to be pretty disciplined in your drinking, you're holding down a job, have a functional marriage (or haven't said otherwise) and you can go for weeks without drink. When you do drink, you're not a problem to anybody. Stop hating yourself.

Drinking two bottles of vodka in an evening on a weekly basis is most certainly damaging to his health.

[Corkboy]

Drinking two bottles of vodka in an evening on a weekly basis is most certainly damaging to his health.

Oh, yeah. Not a Good Idea healthwise. But who am I to judge? I view alcohol related health problems to be of a different quality to alcohol related social or family problems and if the only person he's hurting is himself then that's on him. Same with Maggie May, by the way. I don't like to see people hating themselves because they drink, for whatever reason. You want to drink, as long as you don't hurt anyone else and you're a functioning citizen, you're a grown up, do what you want.

[Billy The Kid]

I don't like to see people hating themselves because they drink, for whatever reason. You want to drink, as long as you don't hurt anyone else and you're a functioning citizen, you're a grown up, do what you want.

I think the self hating is just part of the baggage that comes with being an alcoholic.

I functioned fine as a drinker and never hurt anyone. But I still hated myself.

I guess my self hatred stemmed from the fact that I wanted to drink, but hated being a drinker.

That probably sounds baffling and contradictory, but that's the fucked upness of addiction I guess. A longing for more of something that you in fact, fucking hate

I think most alcoholics/heavy drinkers/binge drinkers, whatever you want to call them, know deep down that what they're doing isn't good for them

Regardless of how well they're functioning or how harmless they are towards others, the self hate comes from knowing that they are self harming, and can't stop

[Corkboy]

I think most alcoholics/heavy drinkers/binge drinkers, whatever you want to call them, know deep down that what they're doing isn't good for them

I'd agree with that, generally. Everyone's different, though.

[Red Genius]

Don't give a fuck anymore, life is a wanker i'm getting shitfaced today.

[TepidT2O]

Whatever you do, be safe.

There are plenty who will care about you.

[Red Genius]

Whatever you do, be safe.

There are plenty who will care about you.

Thank you mate, just on one today.... No-one gives a shit about this old dog.

[zero zero]

That's not true, Red G

[Maggie May]

Thank you mate, just on one today.... No-one gives a shit about this old dog.

Well I certainly do..........  Try and moderate the booze intake if you can and if you can just confine it to today.  Going on a bender is not a good idea - believe me I know.

[TepidT2O]

Thank you mate, just on one today.... No-one gives a shit about this old dog.

people may appear not to, they may say they don't, but inside people do care.  They just have a funny way of showing it sometimes.

Take care.

[Sir Harvest Fields]

Thank you mate, just on one today.... No-one gives a shit about this old dog.

I think you should reconsider that mate, i know many that care about you.

[Red Genius]

I'm sorry guys, infact allow me to rephrase that... you have been the best, most understanding group of people i know. I'm getting twatted today, i know it's not a smart idea, but i'm being honest.

Maggie, you're a star, a total legend... you remind me of my mum, no bullshit, yet have a way to talk to folk that they listen.

Carl - tried ringing you mate, i'll try again later.

Rest of the guys (and gals) thank you for making the effort, i'll be ok.

[Red Genius]

Mags just tried shouting you too... went through to answerphone i'll try again later mate.

[Billy The Kid]

What triggered this RG?

Are you ok?

[Maggie May]

Mags just tried shouting you too... went through to answerphone i'll try again later mate.

Sorry mate.  I keep the answerphone on all the time to deter people trying to sell me something and other assorted idiots and loonies.  Otherwise I'd be persecuted.  Just say who you are and I'll pick up.   

[Red Genius]

aw Billy mate, certain things happened, but i'm not gonna bore you talking about my excuses for getting shit faced, i'm a dick - shit happened, i got pissed. That's the reality.

Mags - i'll bell you tomorrow, too late now i suspect to listen to a slurring gimp

Take care everybody.

[Maggie May]

Mags - i'll bell you tomorrow, too late now i suspect to listen to a slurring gimp

Aww.  I wouldn't have slurred all that much.   

[Sir Harvest Fields]

Ok, i stumbled. Had a massive row a few weeks back but was too ashamed to post here. Id not touched a drop for a month but when it went tits up i hit the drink. I got thrown out , made homeless , got nicked, was going to be sectioned, started on about 12 coppers and was put on suicide watch. I was interviewed by the psychology team and they wanted to put me in the local mental hospital. I refused to go so i stayed with a mate.

Thats the short version. Ive decided to get counselling for my ' family ' issues as its a major thing on my mind. Ive also been put on Prozac and ill be honest, i wish id taken them years ago. I feel so much better and relaxed. I know thats the idea but i wish id had the balls to take them before. I have an appointment with a counsellor this month for my issues. My partner hasnt jibbed me off but has tried to support me, has allowed me to talk VERY frankly about my parents and i feel a shit load better. We are not together but she hasnt abandoned me which is nice.

Its been a rough week but the time i thought id drink, i drank coffee lol. I feel sanguine and just more empathetic but actually letting it show.


Just thought id update thats all guys. I hope you are all well.

LnR

Carl.

[Stewie89]

Ok, i stumbled. Had a massive row a few weeks back but was too ashamed to post here. Id not touched a drop for a month but when it went tits up i hit the drink. I got thrown out , made homeless , got nicked, was going to be sectioned, started on about 12 coppers and was put on suicide watch. I was interviewed by the psychology team and they wanted to put me in the local mental hospital. I refused to go so i stayed with a mate.

Thats the short version. Ive decided to get counselling for my ' family ' issues as its a major thing on my mind. Ive also been put on Prozac and ill be honest, i wish id taken them years ago. I feel so much better and relaxed. I know thats the idea but i wish id had the balls to take them before. I have an appointment with a counsellor this month for my issues. My partner hasnt jibbed me off but has tried to support me, has allowed me to talk VERY frankly about my parents and i feel a shit load better. We are not together but she hasnt abandoned me which is nice.

Its been a rough week but the time i thought id drink, i drank coffee lol. I feel sanguine and just more empathetic but actually letting it show.


Just thought id update thats all guys. I hope you are all well.

LnR

Carl.

I hope I'm not speaking out of turn, but it seems to me that drink is perhaps just an excuse or an outlet to vent your frustration perhaps? It doesnt seem to me drink is the real problem here by itself.

I hope you solve the problems that make you drink mate

[Sir Harvest Fields]

Indeed it is. This is why im trying to take steps to deal with the base line as it were. Its something ive not done before. No good changing the oil if the main bearings have gone eh...

[Red Genius]

Carl mate - i'd noticed you'd been a bit quiet both on here and facebook. I'm no councillor, but for being an ear piece to me when you've always had your own problems i've always been grateful mate. I will naturally be here for you fella, it's what mates do.
 
Take care buddy, often think about you, hope you're well.

[TepidT2O]

Bloody hell, thought you'd gone quiet.....


Look after yourself eh?

[Maggie May]

And I'm always here darling Grandling.   

[Red Genius]

And I'm always here darling Grandling.   

Hows you matey? You sound so much better these days... you okay..

[Sir Harvest Fields]

Cheers all. No gun involved this time thank fuck It was a massive fuck up but its opened up my eyes ( eye ) big time.  The doc has helped no end and even said i look a lot better when i saw him this week. As said by a wise man (  The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the devil's own satanic herd. ) I wish i could turn my life into an actual rollercoaster, id make a fucking fortune lol.

[Red Genius]

Aw Carl mate - you can make your life whatever you want it to be mate, you one of these lucky fuckers who was born with a belting personality, couple that with your noggin... you can be who ever you want to be.

[Sir Harvest Fields]

Indeed i can mate. Its taken me a while but i think dealing with underlying issues may be key here. Ive said some nasty shit but honest at the same time. Ill relay them if you so wish. Ive nothing left to hide and talking has helped me realise a few things.

[Maggie May]

Hows you matey? You sound so much better these days... you okay..

Not too badly.  Thank you for asking sweetie.  Like the gred gred grobin I just keep grob grob grobin along (copyright Dickey Mint).   

PS.  I changed a light bulb today.  Unaided.

[Sir Harvest Fields]

A whole lightbulb Nana? You be careful now

Hows everyone doing?

[Maggie May]

A whole lightbulb Nana? You be careful now

Hows everyone doing?

Well ... erm .... it was only a very small lightbulb.   

Not too badly.  I've no longer any interest in the gin, sherry or port.  Gone off them entirely.  What is nice is a chilled Beck's - nice and light and I can drink and enjoy for a change - something similar to what a normal person would do.  Its a German beer, and we always enjoyed German beers - puts me in mind of when we used to go to the Carnival and Christmas Markets.

Problem is.  My kittycat used to be called Becks.  I renamed her Angel for obvious reasons, not realising that there was in fact a beer called Beck's.  Now, when she sees the can or bottle she thinks it belongs to  her and wants some.  I'm reluctant to give her any, as  I fear she may end up a drunken cat along the lines of Rooster Cogburn's cat General Sterling Price.    But she is very strong willed ........

And how are you my lovely and most loved Grandling?   

[Sir Harvest Fields]

I chuckled at that Nana.

Its weird how the term ' normal people ' is used when we talk about drink. People say ' whats normal '?. Who knows but get shitfaced all day everyday is not. Im glad you have kicked the spirits hun. I cant say i blame you to be honest but life sucks hamster cocks at times.

Im good, ill pm you later my sweet if thats ok?

Carl.

[Maggie May]

I will look forward to your PM very much indeed.   
And I'm pleased to have made you chuckle.  Can you think of a solution to the Beck's problem though?  Perhaps I should pour it into a jug  and bin the bottle/can?  Or cover the label?  And will I be tormented with guilt for being a deceiver?  I never had this problem with Tennants.   

[Billy The Kid]

Indeed it is. This is why im trying to take steps to deal with the base line as it were. Its something ive not done before. No good changing the oil if the main bearings have gone eh...

This is the key Carl. If you're not healing on the inside, then things won't really heal on the outside either

I think I've relayed this to you before: don't waste your time fighting existing circumstances. Just focus on building a new life model that renders the old one obsolete.



 

[Sir Harvest Fields]

Indeed mate. Ive so much going on inside. When i can get that all out i think ill have a better base to build on.

[Sir Harvest Fields]

Ok, once again its with shame i have to say this, but i took an OD at the weekend of Prozac and was in hospital. It wasnt drink induced, i have no idea what happened in my head. Something just snapped and i dropped like a stone. Its obvious i need help with my mental health as much as anything else. Im feeling ok now but ill admit i have absolutely no idea why i did it. I also tied up flex in the garage to hang myself but was caught out as i wasnt supposed to be at my ex partners but i had nowt else to go to, and she caught me hiding.

Ive some serious problems in my head , i cant control them and ill be very honest with you all, something just snapped and it scares me. I dont know what to do to be honest. Also the sight in my good eye is failing and thats fucking me up. I wonder what to do for the best.


Anyway, i just wanted to be honest with you all.

All the best guys,

Carl.