An unemployed Romford man, who received an ASBO (anti-social behaviour order) for repeatedly terrorising his neighbours with 'an offensive haircut', was jailed today after he called the magistrate who issued the order 'a fucking nazi c*nt'
The 'named individual' in this case, was fifty-seven-year-old Cyril Firkin, from Romford, in Essex, who was repeatedly seen loitering outside the entrance to a local Primary School with what eyewitnesses described as 'a solitary strand of rancid hair combed over his shiny bonce.' Despite numerous pleas from sickened mums to 'get a fuckin' 'at mate!' or cut the offensive strand off, Mr Firkin, defiantly persisted in flaunting his baldness to children as young as eight and nine...
But Cyril Firkin is not the only dangerous hooligan who's reign of terror has been nipped in the bud by the timely arrival of an ASBO, as we discovered when we dug a little deeper into the festering mountain of civil disobedience which threatens to overwhelm Britain with a tidal wave of antisocial behaviour—or even a tsunami of lawlessness.
A twenty-three-year-old masseuse from East Purley, has been ASBO'd for lying on her front lawn in broad daylight in just her knickers and bra. When confronted by local councillors, Emma Chapman said it was a two piece bikini and claimed she had been sunbathing. Magistrates were swift to dismiss her defence on the grounds that no woman in her right mind would possibly risk premature ageing and skin cancer by exposing herself to the sun.
In a shocking incident in Wiltshire, a chicken farmer was ASBO'd after complaints from cat-loving young mothers that his cock 'was completely out of control' and had 'caused serious damage' to dozens of local pussies.
http://www.utterpants.co.uk/news/society/asbochavs.html
