Topic: FC Class & Dignity. The Senior club in the city thread.(The new Everton thread)

[Tobelius]

I've read it three times now and I can't fucking make heads or tails of it.

We are Brighton??
In his world are Spurs, Spurs? Or are they Bayern Munich? And one of Norwich or Burnley are Spurs?
Watford are Porto? Chelsea are Barcelona?

As the poster above said... the ramblings of a fucking madman.

Yeah,i can't get into this world of his. In the end there i guess he admits being 'superficially a bit silly' trying to bend the reality.

I'm thinking he actually is the dog in the profile and has communicated this theory with barks but part of it has been lost in the translation.

[Qston]

Yeah,i can't get into this world of his. In the end there i guess he admits being 'superficially a bit silly' trying to bend the reality.

I'm thinking he actually is the dog in the profile and has communicated this theory with barks but part of it has been lost in the translation.

Easy there. My dog knocks on the back door when he wants to come in. That automatically puts him at a higher functioning plain

[Sons of pioneerS]

What else can they do? Admit we're good?

Actually, yes. If they had even a tiny fraction of the ''class and dignity'' they say they have, then that is exactly what they would do.
Wallowing in total denial, as they do, just makes them look very stupid indeed.

In the 80s, for a short period of time, Everton had a great side. I had no problem saying as much. Why pretend otherwise and look like a prize tit who knows nothing about football?
When Ferguson got United's act together I had no problem admitting they has assembled a great side. Even those vile, reputation-laundering cheats from Abu Dhabi have put together a great side. I have no problem saying the team is a very, very good one.

So yes, if you are an Everton fan rather than a delusional Bitter, just admit Liverpool are good and deserve their success, then get on with your own day. Your mental health and quality of life will benefit greatly, and you will also look like you do have a little class and dignity afterall. Simples!

[Tobelius]

Easy there. My dog knocks on the back door when he wants to come in. That automatically puts him at a higher functioning plain

I have 2 as well,they're fantastic 

[Nobby Reserve]

In the 80s, for a short period of time, Everton had a great side. I had no problem saying as much.

Ah, but do you know what happened to that great side and why? Why they didn't join the European Cup winners club?

It's all part of the legend.

[DonkeyWan]

So, trying to replicate what he has done, let's use UEFA's current coefficient rankings (which aren't terribly great, but whatevah)
https://www.uefa.com/memberassociations/uefarankings/club/#/yr/2019

and this years final English league tables;

Liverpool en route to winning the final, played

PSG (W, L)
Napoli (L,W)
Red Star (L,W)

Bayern (D,W)
Porto (W,W)
Barca (L,W)
Spurs (W)

So, Liverpool, beat all those teams at least once... now, how do they stack up? Lets sub the coefficient for the PL/C table

Everton
Burnley
Forest Green

Egad, not looking so good for Liverpool now, losing to Forest green like that. Of course, seeding and the five year nature of the UEFA coefficients make a mockery of this (for example, in 2019 UEFA rank red Star 46th - Barnsley) but still... Of course, when it comes to the second round, things change a bit;

Chelsea
Liverpool
Brighton

I reckon if that was an FA cup run you would be appalled. But how did the best team in Europe (TM) make out? Well, Many City played

Lyon (L,D)
Shakhtar (W,W)
1899 Hoff (W,W)

Schalke (W,W)
Spurs (L,W)

Which equates to the following sides.

Middlesborough (note: they didn't actually beat Lyon/Boro)
Southampton
Wrexham

West Brom
Brighton (Out)

Tell you what, piece of piss this CL stuff...

[Skeeve]

Remember this bit of genius in the run-up to Kiev?

Here's the updated one!

Utterly insane clown logic from him as you can hardly scale down the CL to such a level of teams as even the so-called weaker teams in the competition are no pushovers, look at how much they struggled in Europe and that was only the EL.

One interesting point, those theoretical teams are still probably a tougher run of games than city had in the domestic cups last season. 

[Eel Lobo]

So, trying to replicate what he has done, let's use UEFA's current coefficient rankings (which aren't terribly great, but whatevah)
https://www.uefa.com/memberassociations/uefarankings/club/#/yr/2019

and this years final English league tables;

Liverpool en route to winning the final, played

PSG (W, L)
Napoli (L,W)
Red Star (L,W)

Bayern (D,W)
Porto (W,W)
Barca (L,W)
Spurs (W)

So, Liverpool, beat all those teams at least once... now, how do they stack up? Lets sub the coefficient for the PL/C table

Everton
Burnley
Forest Green

Egad, not looking so good for Liverpool now, losing to Forest green like that. Of course, seeding and the five year nature of the UEFA coefficients make a mockery of this (for example, in 2019 UEFA rank red Star 46th - Barnsley) but still... Of course, when it comes to the second round, things change a bit;

Chelsea
Liverpool
Brighton

I reckon if that was an FA cup run you would be appalled. But how did the best team in Europe (TM) make out? Well, Many City played

Lyon (L,D)
Shakhtar (W,W)
1899 Hoff (W,W)

Schalke (W,W)
Spurs (L,W)

Which equates to the following sides.

Middlesborough (note: they didn't actually beat Lyon/Boro)
Southampton
Wrexham

West Brom
Brighton (Out)

Tell you what, piece of piss this CL stuff...

I’ve actually worked out who Everton beat to win the FA Cup in 1995..... in terms of Simpson’s characters.

Derby County (H)
Bristol City (A)
Norwich City (H)
Newcastle United (H)
Spurs (N)
Manchester United (N)

Derby County = Booberella



Bristol City = this lawyer guy



Norwich City = one of the rabbits from the land of chocolate



Newcastle United = Patty



Spurs = Squeaky voiced teen



Manchester United = Jubjub



Whereas the equivalent of us winning the CL includes Comicbook Guy, Apu and Moe in the group, George Bush Snr in the first knock out game, Ned Flanders in the quarters, Hank Scorpio in the semis and Troy McClure in the final.

[Sons of pioneerS]

Ah, but do you know what happened to that great side and why? Why they didn't join the European Cup winners club?

It's all part of the legend.

All part of the myth. 

They didn't progress because they rested on their laurels and never consolidated on what they had built. It's also funny how they just assume that had they been able to enter the competition they would have won it. That's sheer arrogance. I can't stomach those revisionists that wilfully forget that the hooligan issue was countrywide back then and Everton were as active, if not moreso if you read the books, as anyone else. The ban was triggered by Heysel, which was the horrific final straw that broke the camels back, but a ban was inevitable anyway. Everyone hated the English and their 'English disease' of rampant hooliganism which went everywhere the English went. Our own government hated football fans in general and was itching to cage us and ban us all. Hooliganism was never the fault of the clubs. It's not their fault that hooligans attached themselves to virtually every club in the country and the national side. I believe only the fans should have been banned and, yes, I mean all, because hooliganism was pervasive back then and everyone needed a reality check. The clubs should have still been able to compete though, in my opinion. I'll give Everton that, but that was not a decision made by LFC.

It's amazing how Everton see themselves as the real victims of the hooligan epidemic and its nadir at Heysel. Our club suffered too and English football did as a whole. English football ultimately suffered because of the large minority from every club that was basically killing the game. The Everton minority are as guilty as anyone. Their 'top boys' will brag about that to anyone who will listen. Some even write books that revel in it all and recount their escapades in gory detail.

Of course, Nobby, you know all this, so this post is just for the Blue lurkers out there who either don't know the truth or know it but continue to deny it. 

The demise of Everton was down to Everton. Every other club has recovered from the ban and moved on ... except Everton. The reason for this is in-house. The reason they are still in the doldrums is because their issues are still in-house but they refuse to see it and would rather look externally and blame others instead. The proof of the pudding is in the eating, and Man United have built then destroyed a dynasty since those days. Liverpool have been European Champions twice since then. Leicester have won the league since then, as have the likes of Blackburn and Leeds. Everton's demise was, and still is an inside job.

[newterp]

Everton are currently ranked 84th in UEFA's co-efficient. That means that if they qualified for Europe, they would be Cheltenham.

how are they that high???

[4pool]

how are they that high???

83    Burnley FC

84    Everton FC

85    Southampton FC

86    West Ham United FC

87    Hull City AFC

[Riquende]

Whereas the equivalent of us winning the CL includes Comicbook Guy, Apu and Moe in the group, George Bush Snr in the first knock out game, Ned Flanders in the quarters, Hank Scorpio in the semis and Troy McClure in the final.

I might remember him from such movies as "Divock 2: Divock Rides Again"

Seriously that whole post is amazing 

[Skeeve]

83    Burnley FC

84    Everton FC

85    Southampton FC

86    West Ham United FC

87    Hull City AFC

So basically, one EL campaign while coming from the PL gets you to that level then.

[LovelyCushionedHeader]

how are they that high???

If you're English and you've been in Europe in the last five years you're likely to get in the top 100.

[ScouserAtHeart]

I might remember him from such movies as "Divock 2: Divock Rides Again"

Seriously that whole post is amazing 

It's obviously Divock 2: Electric Boogaloo

[So... Howard Phillips]

That shit side Spurs who knocked out the English and Dutch Cahampions. Proper shit they are.

The same Spurs that beat Everton 6-2 at Goodison, that Spurs?

[only6times]

Outraged at the Red Echo for reporting a robber was wearing an Everton scarf.

[Tepid T₂O]

Outraged at the Red Echo for reporting a robber was wearing an Everton scarf.

??

[Tesco tearaway]

Outraged at the Red Echo for reporting a robber was wearing an Everton scarf.

Well you can bet he wasn't caught with any silverware on him 

[eyescream]

Outraged at the Red Echo for reporting a robber was wearing an Everton scarf.

Have they put socks over their hands ... 

[Red Berry]

??

[blert596]

Remember this bit of genius in the run-up to Kiev?



Here's the updated one!

And all of a sudden... J notation seemed a breeze

[Black Bull Nova]

I'm not going to spend time arsing about seeing who equates to who as that character on GOT did but I suspect that when Everton failed to qualify from their group in the Europa league last year their opponents were the equivalent of West Allottment Celtic, Staveley Miners Welfare and Holker Old Boys (all real by the way)

That's how shit they were last year even when they were lucky.

[LFC_NCL]

It's obviously Divock 2: Electric Boogaloo

Jurassic Origi - The T-Rex fucker upper

[Qston]

Outraged at the Red Echo for reporting a robber was wearing an Everton scarf.

I can`t work out if that makes them easier or harder to find ? Does it narrow the suspects down exponentially or does it create a needle in a haystack situation ?

[lamonti]

Is he the one who missed a header from a yard out in the Origi Derby?

I'm pretty sure he missed from a yard out twice in as many seconds in that game actually.

[Phatz]

They are a special bunch aren't they?

It must hurt them, travelling all that way from Rhyl, to watch that bunch of chancers try and show them some value for money whilst playing like a fart in a thunderstorm. I mean, if you were a professional footy player, playing for that shower, you would have that classic Lennon Resting Face. You know the one. The one when you realise just what a club you've signed for... And let's not forget the cuckoo clock case...

Then to see us lift number six, with our lot showing just what it means to them and the team and the club...

Do I feel sorry for them?

Nope, nope, nope... In fact, SIX TIMES NOPE (for any lurkers...)...

Up the Mighty Fucking Reds...

[aw1991]

Outraged at the Red Echo for reporting a robber was wearing an Everton scarf.

Did he broke into Mikel Arteta's house? Finally got that Arteta money.

[Ziltoid]

[Tobelius]

Where's the cuckoo clock?

[Ziltoid]

Where's the cuckoo clock?

Bit further on

[Red Berry]

Bit further on

Honestly, that cabinet doesn't look like it could hold a European Cup - although it would be typically Everton to make a cabinet that could only hold one.

Crazy thing is that they say they measured the European Cup in 1977 when we won it, in anticipation of winning their own. But they'd not won a title in 7 years by then - and it would be another 7 years before they did.

[Dim Glas]

Everton are playing Mainz 05 in pre-season, in Mainz.

I'm sure the blueshite fans making the trip will love being amongst another Jürgen Klopp loving fan-base 

[LovelyCushionedHeader]

Everton are playing Mainz 05 in pre-season, in Mainz.

I'm sure the blueshite fans making the trip will love being amongst another Jürgen Klopp loving fan-base 

Anything better than a 4-0 defeat and they will be claiming they are better than us

[Dim Glas]

Anything better than a 4-0 defeat and they will be claiming they are better than us

they are whinging about the 'quality of opposition' they are facing this pre-season. Apparently the likes of Mainz, Werder Bremen and Sevilla are not good enough for them, they'd rather be facing Man City in the Asia cup 

[ChaChaMooMoo]

Everton are playing Mainz 05 in pre-season, in Mainz.

F*ck off. I was living in Mainz for 5 years until last August. The moment I move out, they decide to tour.

On the plus side, if they beat Mainz, they get to brag that they won against a team that won 4-0 against us in 2016.