Topic: A Fresh Start?

[Jezzman]

A few weeks back I was phoned up by a huge headhunter company, who informed me that they had just the job for me and it has left me wondering a lot about my life, job situation, location etc etc... I've practically been through all kinds of thoughts since then and even more thoughts since I last week went for a job interview with the new company. I've made up a list of good and bad things, but they're more or less equally balanced, however the pay rise of more than 25k £ a year, could really seem as a massive point in all of this. On the minus side of things, I have to drive 3 hours a day (1½ each way) back and forth to get to where the job is and my girlfriend is not interested in moving - at least not right away. We don't have children yet, so there's no problem there... I've been with the same company like forever now. I'm in my mid 30's and have only been working in one company and come august it's 14 years, so perhaps I need to change job, in order not to get stuck, but it's such a massive decision for me, as I also enjoy the job I have now?!?! 

What the hell do I do...? Anyone been in a similar situation, who would offer me their advice? Any advice will be highly appreciated...

[Rusty]

I honestly can't say anything about the relative merits of your jobs as I dont know them but I would say that I absolutely hated commuting. I only did it for one summer, 3 hours total a day, and I loathed it.

But then again I wasn't being offered a £25k pay rise to do it

[Satiric Gibbon]

I was in a very similar situation and I changed jobs. In the end it was down to the fact that "if you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got."  I am glad I changed my job I was gettting slightly too comfy/staid where I was.

In the end it is up to you though, don't stress it is a very good position to be in. One thing though, is the driving going to be tail-to-tail stuck in queues 3 hours a day or will you be able to buy a car you love driving and make the most of the 3 hours?

If you decide to get married and have kids you can always change jobs again for another pay rise.

[Squidge]

surely if you can get a job 1.5 hours away with a 25k payrise you can get one closer for something similar?? but then if you do 9-5 it'd only mean leaving at 7.30 and back at 6.30 so not too bad for the payrise!

just be careful the grass dont appear greener when its not, i currently work for a company and know for a fact i could move tomorrow and get at least a 5k payrise with no extra travel etc but the current job suits my needs for now so i accept the loss of earning for convenience but then i am only 24 so its not a huge issue right now.

another option may be to go to your current employer and say look i have been offered this i know you cant match it but surely you can do something to reduce the deficite. They will appreciate your loyalty by wanting to give them the chance to keep you and put it to them that you dont want to leave but that you are clearly massively underpaid and cant justify turning the new job down without a payrise.

[Jim Price]

When you say you enjoy your current job, do you really enjoy it, i.e. bounce out of bed in the morning singing songs etc, or do you mean you are comfortable with the people, systems and surroundings. After 14 years I would imagine the making a break from your comfort zone would be extremely difficult.

I would say you need to do as much research as possible into the organisation that is offering the position, you won't get a flavour of the place from interviews or the company website. Not easy to do but maybe ask to meet some of the staff you will be working with, and ask them to be frank about the good and bad points of the firm.

If you could see yourself enjoying the role then you come down to putting a price on your leisure time, this is an individual thing. Few of my mates commute into London by train and try to fill the time by reading books/newspapers, stuff that they might have done anyway. Is the train an option for you?

Anyway, a company that hunts huge heads, there really are niche markets everywhere.

[Jezzman]

With the pay rise I would be able to buy a car I love and there'll be absolutely no bumper-to-bumper traffic in the direction I would be going (train is not an option). In regards to my job now - well I'm 110% on top of it, there's nothing here I don't know how to do and are perhaps getting a bit too comfy with it. I don't jump out of bed every morning, but do enjoy the fact that I find it very easy as I've done it for years now. That will of course also change in the new job, where I'll have a bunch of new tasks and a lot more stress....

[Satiric Gibbon]

if you are afriad of change then you know what to do!!! Nothing!

[Bola]

I commutte 1 hour 45 mins every day and absolutely hate it, Head Hunters dont come knocking every day and its a massive opportunity, however like someone else has said you obviously have something to offer in your field of work so why not actively seek a change of jobs in a more suitable location, if not use the offer as a bargaining tool to get a pay rise in your current job, it may not be as big but you never know if you dont ask.

[5FTH]

I travel up and down the country with my job, a 1.5 hour each way journey is a short haul to me. The point is, it may sound daunting at first but its something you get used to and really isnt that bad. If you are getting an extra 25K a year to boot, to me, this is a no brainer!

Id go for it mate, You may only live to regret it if you dont. Ive said it before but its better to regret something you have done than to regret something you havent!!!

 

[Matt S]

get a comfy car with a decent cd player and you'll be sorted for the commute. I'd go for it personally. Eventually you'll be on top of that job, and able to move up further. Think with the future in mind.

[IanMac]

Not knowing much about the jobs it is difficult to comment.
Obviously you are more than capable of producing the results in your current role but do you want to stay in that role or step out of the comfort zone and take on this new challenge? Obviously somebody feels that you are more than capable of taking the new job on hence you being head hunted, and offering an extra £25k means they obviously value you very highly.

Personally i would jump at the chance of a new challenge like that but i am currently single.
I suppose what you have to weigh up are the longer hours, the stress on you and the stress on your relationship.
I know that after a long drive i am a ratty little fucker so that would put serious strain on any relationship i had from the kick off.
If you are able to leave your work in work as they say then i would say go for it.
If you are like me and take your work home and get stressed with people then i suppose you have to weigh up the options and see what is more important; your career or your relationship.

Good luck whatever you choose.

[FinnMacCool]

Hold out for a £50k pay rise. Let's face it, the extra £25k here and there isn't going to make much odds.

[Mudface_]

Hold out for a £50k pay rise. Let's face it, the extra £25k here and there isn't going to make much odds.

True, once you've forked out for a chauffeur or a new house closer to work, there won't be much of that left.

[Jezzman]

Hold out for a £50k pay rise. Let's face it, the extra £25k here and there isn't going to make much odds.

That does sound nice, but I don't think I'll get there mate

[Barney_Rubble]

Just get taxi's there an back...

Go for it. If you don't, you'll definitely regret not having done so at some point in the future.

Go for it, and your gf will come round, I'm sure, and you'll work something out there.

And if you're being headhunted for jobs with an extra 25k a year then I'm certain that if you don't like it there, you'll find somewhere else similar or better without too much problem.

Good luck anyway...

[filopastry]

Ditch the girlfriend, problem solved

[laddo]

Ditch the girlfriend, problem solved

genius 

[Peter_Evo]

Do it mate or you will forever be wondering what it would have been like.  Had one or two decisions like that to make myself over the past couple of years. Grasp the nettle mate.

[blert596]

I change jobs every 2 years at the longest. I find I get bored after about 6 months, by the time a years up I'm struggling to get out of bed of a morning. Contractor so can do as I choose really.

But I can only recommend the buzz you get out of turning up at a new place, meeting new people who more often than not become good friends. And actually the nervouseness of starting, what is in effect a whole new era in your life, is very rejuvenating. Winning people over and becoming part of a new team, and getting well thought of for your work is very very satisfying. The money you're gonna get is a bonus, but not worth taking if your not 100% certain that its not the only reason you would be moving. The travel you could overcome. I used to book a hotel once a week and stay which broke up the monotony of the travel.

I know people who have been in the same job for over 30 years and are still excited every day going to work. Takes all sorts...just not me, really.

Good luck whatever way you decide.

[Tarpaulin]

"Do it........do it........do it...........do it........just do it."

[ALPH1217]

For the sake of your relationship and your own peace of mind   .   . stay where you are. You're young   .   . there'll be more opportunities ahead.

[America's Sweetheart]

I'd take the new job. Change is good.

But what I actually recommend is this:

First, do the maths. Work out exactly how much better off you'd be a week, a month, a year after you've bought your new car, all the extra petrol and all the additional car maintenance.

Then make a couple of lists. List out all the reasons you can think of for staying where are. And list out all the reasons you can think of for moving on.

Just the act of calculating the financials and writing down the ups and downs will help you decide what you really want to do.

Then apply the final killing cliche. Work out where you want to be in five years time, and decide which job is more likely to help you achieve that objective.

And then go to the movies, or read a book, or get pissed. Whatever works for you. Just put the whole thing out of your mind and get a good night's sleep. Then follow your instincts in the morning - and once you've made a decision, don't waste even a moment of your valuable time second guessing yourself.

HTHBIKIW

[Millsee]

HTHBIKIW

*nods*

[The Albert Cock]

gamble...GAMBLE

hard one mate, life changing desision if you go for it, but do you want your life to change much?

[America's Sweetheart]

*nods*

*winks*

[Gnurglan]

A few weeks back I was phoned up by a huge headhunter company, who informed me that they had just the job for me and it has left me wondering a lot about my life, job situation, location etc etc... I've practically been through all kinds of thoughts since then and even more thoughts since I last week went for a job interview with the new company. I've made up a list of good and bad things, but they're more or less equally balanced, however the pay rise of more than 25k £ a year, could really seem as a massive point in all of this. On the minus side of things, I have to drive 3 hours a day (1½ each way) back and forth to get to where the job is and my girlfriend is not interested in moving - at least not right away. We don't have children yet, so there's no problem there... I've been with the same company like forever now. I'm in my mid 30's and have only been working in one company and come august it's 14 years, so perhaps I need to change job, in order not to get stuck, but it's such a massive decision for me, as I also enjoy the job I have now?!?! 

What the hell do I do...? Anyone been in a similar situation, who would offer me their advice? Any advice will be highly appreciated...

Do you want the job or do you want the money?

If you see this as your great chance - take it. Don't even hesitate. Go for it. Try it out for a year. At the very least you'll get a better pay check. That will probably put you in a better position when you apply for your next job.
You'll regret if it this is your big chance. It may come only once. Should you say no, make sure you have a VERY good reason. In the future you may find yourself looking back, wondering why the hell you were so stupid. I know more than one person who say "I wish I had dared to take that job, then I would have... by now".

If you think it's too much travel and/or if the job isn't that great - forget it. But ask the headhunter to look out for another job (closer to home or the kind of job you want).

Personally, I think 14 years at the same place is too much, but I guess it depends on what you've done and if you've liked it.

[timiano]

Depends on how much yer on now.....£25k at 40% tax isn't exactly a fantastic as it first sounds.  However, if you are planning on a family and the rest of your life, I'd take the job.

[SGTBabbel]

i'd go for it, try to vision yourself 10 years down the line.

if you dont go, you'll probably be in the same office, with many of the same people around. which isnt a bad thing!

but if you do go, you'll be in and around new surroundings, new people, learning new things.

for me, its a no-brainer.....

[Armin]

Save yourself, kill them all.

[Cusamano]

I cant beleive your even thinking about this.

As soon as you realised you were gonna get a £25K pay rise it should have been a no brainer.

But dont take my advice, Im a useless student.

[Gnurglan]

I cant beleive your even thinking about this.

As soon as you realised you were gonna get a £25K pay rise it should have been a no brainer.

But dont take my advice, Im a useless student.

If you get 25k extra, but end up with no free time, is it worth it? Your relationship is in serious danger. That goes without saying. Beisdes, it's no fun going to work before everyone else and going home when everyone has left. If that's your situation, you'd better make sure you enjoy what you do.

[Cusamano]

If you get 25k extra, but end up with no free time, is it worth it? Your relationship is in serious danger. That goes without saying. Beisdes, it's no fun going to work before everyone else and going home when everyone has left. If that's your situation, you'd better make sure you enjoy what you do.

Fair point. I was thinking only dollar signs....

Furthur proof if needed as why not to take my advice.

[Jezzman]

Thank you so much lads - all your advice is really helping me (even the kill'em all part ) - I have until the 5th of March to decide and before then I have my early meeting with my current boss. That meeting will probably help me decide more than anything I think... at least that'll let me know just how bad he wants to keep me around. I'll let you all know how this goes.... THANKS 

[swiftylad]

Money isnt everything the fact that you  have to ask advice is the biggest factor . Dont do it for the money

[Kanonkop]

My advice would be to carefully run the numbers and once you know how much better of you are per week then should do the following

1.  Decide whether this will lead to even bigger and better things.  I.E. its worth more money in the future
2.  If it isn't, having run the numbers you know how much more your present job needs to pay you to make you effectively no worse off.
3.  Which things that are personally important to you are you sacrificing.  e.g. does the commute mean that you will never be able to go to Wednesday night home games again for example

On the numbers, I will assume that the 25k probably pushes you into the higher tax bracket.

Therefoe that lovely man Gordon Brown (bastard) will take 40% income tax and unless you are earning >60-70k or whatever then there is also 6% NI or whatever it is.

I.E. before you even start to consider the extra traveling costs (and companies work it out at about 40p to cover petrol, wear and tear, insurance, servicing and depreciation), you are only left with £13,500 approx.  Thats £1100 per month approx, or £250 per week approx.

Then the traveling costs, 3hrs I guess equates to what about 180 miles each day.  At 40p x 5 days per week this is £360 so under this example, the new job actually makes you worse off!

Ergo, you may very well actually be no better off at all at the end of the day.  My numbers might not be totally correct but I am sure they are fairly ballpark.

So given that, unless the new job has great prospects, and you don't mind making the personal sacrifices or even moving, then the best option might be to go to your present employer, tell them you have been offered a lot of money somewhere else which is tempting but that you are very happy where you are and ask them whether they would consider giving you a pay rise.  If they are very happy with you, they might well give you an extra £5-10k and / or a promotion.  If you don't ask, you don't get.

But at the end of the day, you need to listen to your heart and then use your brain to make sure the heart isn't talking nonsense....

[Delmar]

I've just been through exactly the same thing mate, and I made the move, and its the best thing I could have done, I don't know all about your circumstances but I'd gor gor it...lifes about taking chances.

[sattapaartridge]

Recently, I have been thinking a lot about what I would do if I was going to restart my life. God knows I've made mistakes in my life, and they cannot be undone without a time-machine.

But I have been thinking a lot about doing something drastic, my latest brainwave is buying loads of property in California and living out there. I've downloaded apps and started reading about certain areas to live there etc. Property prices are so much cheaper than in London, and there is a large portion of mexicans and native indians there.

Anyway, I've just been dreaming about this a lot recently, I probably wont ever do it. Maybe its a mid-life crisis thing to even think about it, but it would largely mean, I don't see my kids anymore.

Has anyone else had mad thoughts like this? To do something drastic to find a happiness?

[Jookie]

Recently, I have been thinking a lot about what I would do if I was going to restart my life. God knows I've made mistakes in my life, and they cannot be undone without a time-machine.

But I have been thinking a lot about doing something drastic, my latest brainwave is buying loads of property in California and living out there. I've downloaded apps and started reading about certain areas to live there etc. Property prices are so much cheaper than in London, and there is a large portion of mexicans and native indians there.

Anyway, I've just been dreaming about this a lot recently, I probably wont ever do it. Maybe its a mid-life crisis thing to even think about it, but it would largely mean, I don't see my kids anymore.

Has anyone else had mad thoughts like this? To do something drastic to find a happiness?

Intersting idea.

California is such a big place so I'd imagine property is going to be cheap in some bits. However, my impression was that the likes of LA, San Francisco and San Diego were quite expensive for property.

Additionally don't you need a US passport, a visa (applied for by your workplace) or a green card to live in the US.

I've considered living in other parts of the World and have the option to do so through mine and my Wife's career. Had options of going to parts of US, nordic countries and mainland Europe. However, I've never taken the plunge. However, part of that has been the US cities on offer (Boston, Washington DC, potentially Philly). If it was San Diego, for example, I'd probably move. So I can see the attraction you have with that California lifestyle. Just think the barriers to moving out there are significant unless you can get employed by a company out there and they can support your visa application.

[sattapaartridge]

Thanks for your feedback, saw loads reading and not commenting, thought I was being a weirdo. haha.

California has everything and is 1.7x bigger than the UK. Silicon Valley, LA, Hollywood and loads of nice forest/mountain towns too like Crestline/Tahoe.

I obviously dont know the area's but most of the properties are detached and come with lots of land, range wildly in price. Seen houses (look a bit trailer park, but) for only $30k? Its a bit mad. What I was thinking is just investing in a low cost property, maybe retire out there perhaps.

Ive got loads of responsibilities. Mostly to do with the kids. But it just feels more exciting to move to California rather than another place in UK. I dont believe we get a good quality of life for how hard we work.

For example:
Sacramento, California:
https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/4106-Windsong-St-Sacramento-CA-95834/26017554_zpid/

Zone 6 London:
https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/130978979#/?channel=RES_BUY

I dont know how easy it is to attain jobs though. Its hard enough here in UK.

[Mumm-Ra]

Thanks for your feedback, saw loads reading and not commenting, thought I was being a weirdo. haha.

California has everything and is 1.7x bigger than the UK. Silicon Valley, LA, Hollywood and loads of nice forest/mountain towns too like Crestline/Tahoe.

I obviously dont know the area's but most of the properties are detached and come with lots of land, range wildly in price. Seen houses (look a bit trailer park, but) for only $30k? Its a bit mad. What I was thinking is just investing in a low cost property, maybe retire out there perhaps.

Ive got loads of responsibilities. Mostly to do with the kids. But it just feels more exciting to move to California rather than another place in UK. I dont believe we get a good quality of life for how hard we work.

For example:
Sacramento, California:
https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/4106-Windsong-St-Sacramento-CA-95834/26017554_zpid/

Zone 6 London:
https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/130978979#/?channel=RES_BUY

I dont know how easy it is to attain jobs though. Its hard enough here in UK.

You get inland in California and it can get properly shit though. Sacramento, Stockton, Roseville, places like that, I've never been but get the sense they are definitely not the 'California' you might be picturing in your head  Lots of meth, opioids and trailer parks full of neo-nazis. Just saying, you would want to take a trip over first to check it out.

The immigration aspect is the first thing to figure out though, I'm just not sure there is a way for you