I come from a school of wanting all living beings to have happiness, dignity, respect and acceptance and only ever struggle with these feelings when I encounter (in others) character flaws like mean-ness, bullying, selfishness and toxic narcissism.
It is within the latter trait (albeit minus the toxicity) that I feel many may still be "doing battle" with their appraisals when it comes to evaluating folk who are navigating any kind of gender transition phase, be this physical or psychological.
To try and explain precisely what I mean by this, one oft expressed definition of narcissism is:
"Excessive reference to others for self-definition and self-esteem regulation..."And to be truthful, any and all ongoing petitions or campaigns for societal acceptance of gender transition could very easily become entangled in this kind of gross-missappraisal, because the (justifiable) call for trans rights, recognition and equality could ever so easily be misinterpreted as being a wholesale "reference to others" with a view to solidifying self-definition and self-esteem.
But let me quite frank here in my
rubbishing of any such claim.
In ANY areas where societal acceptance is not expansively granted to one and all, it is absolutely crucial that the legislature underpins and underwrites the required terms of acceptance, respect and dignity which should be afforded to all people within a civilized society and the seeking of these standards is NOT merely evidence of any insecurity or "narcissism" on the part of those who press for these standards.
The fact that somebody's gender specifics may not immediately resonate or obviate itself to us should (ideally) be neither here nor there to us, and though it may pique interest or curiosity, should never be a cause for mean-ness, incivility or discrimination.
But what about the seemingly more "modern" instance of the gender fluid person where the criteria for gender definition appears to be set based on how this person is "identifying" themselves on any given day?
Could it not be argued that this might just be attempting to extract just a tad too much "deference" from others in general, who by and large.....may not really give a flying fuck about such things, unless a relationship with such a person becomes much closer and intimate, so as to become a friend, lover or confidante who is more than happy to receive those "daily" (gender identity) updates?
I guess I'm trying to say that it behoves society to treat all with dignity, respect and acceptance and in the interests of each-others well-being and happiness, and that is indeed, my own guiding "mantra" but I do not think it behoves society to go around treading on "eggshells" because they lack the mind-reading skills required to ascribe the necessary deference to somebody whose gender identity can change overnight like the wind direction.
I DO believe that there is a high proportion of society who are really keen and willing to accommodate others just as we all wish to be accommodated ourselves, but there appear to be some things which I think we ought to only expect deference to.....at the more intimate and familiar states of relationship, wherein.... how people accept our gender identity truly matters.
As I've outlined earlier in my post, the last thing anybody undergoing gender transition needs is to attract that rather nasty and narrow-minded accusation of narcissism, but I do not think that gender fluid and/or non-binary folk will help the situation if they press too hard for deference amidst folk who may not even acknowledge such a thing exists, or feel that even if it does....that it's only relevant within a close or intimate relationship where the required deference can be given.....on a "day to day" basis, subject how that person is feeling or "identifying."
If a person's gender identity or lack thereof, cannot or does not readily "obviate" itself when that person is out and about within society, then I think it might be a little unfair or harsh to lament people's ready inclination to employ traditional "binary" labels in accordance with how they perceive a person to look. The only way to challenge this would be to go around continuously informing strangers that there is some "hidden" gender issue which requires their deference, and I once again refer to my concerns about why any strangers one meets.... should actually give a flying fuck about this......or why anybody would want those strangers to be privy to such a private or intimate personal characteristic?
*I hope these meditations do not offend, and I offer them respectfully and thoughtfully with a view to the furtherance and expansion of what can often be a very difficult subject to navigate without falling foul of modern propriety. 
