Author Topic: Jokes so bad they're punny  (Read 683862 times)

Offline Saltashscouse

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Re: Jokes so bad they're punny
« Reply #7440 on: October 10, 2023, 03:48:29 pm »
Brown and sticky?

Remember that kind of joke before in my country but with different answer.

With the full of of respect - It's penis layered below semen. It's sticky, mate. But not contaminated.
:lmao :lmao :lmao
Jan Molby once bought me a pint 🍺

Offline sinnermichael

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Re: Jokes so bad they're punny
« Reply #7441 on: October 11, 2023, 03:56:26 pm »
How easy is it to impersonate Victor Meldrew?

a) don't

b) leave it

Offline Keith Lard

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Re: Jokes so bad they're punny
« Reply #7442 on: October 12, 2023, 01:13:51 pm »
Which Liverpool player doesn’t use deodorant?

Harvey Smelliott
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Offline bradders1011

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Re: Jokes so bad they're punny
« Reply #7443 on: October 14, 2023, 11:21:49 am »
Which Liverpool player doesn’t use deodorant?

Harvey Smelliott

Which Villa player didn't use deodorant?

Nigel Stink.
If I were a linesman, I would execute defenders who applauded my offsides.

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Re: Jokes so bad they're punny
« Reply #7444 on: October 14, 2023, 11:32:07 am »
Which member of the A-Team didn’t wear deodorant?

B.O. Baracas

Offline Sir Capon of Debaser

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Re: Jokes so bad they're punny
« Reply #7445 on: October 14, 2023, 11:44:17 am »
Which member of Fleetwood Mac boils their underpants?

Steamy Knickers

Which member of Wet Wet Wet buys their bedding from a brothel?

Tarty Pillows

Which member of an old comedy duo pushes fat people down a hill?

Rollover Lardy


Offline afc tukrish

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Re: Jokes so bad they're punny
« Reply #7446 on: October 14, 2023, 11:44:20 am »
These odiferous puns stink...
Since haste quite Schorsch, but Liverpool are genuine fight pigs...

Offline Sir Capon of Debaser

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Re: Jokes so bad they're punny
« Reply #7447 on: October 14, 2023, 11:53:34 am »
2 Fish in a Tank and one says to the other ‘HEIL HITLER’

Offline Sir Capon of Debaser

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Re: Jokes so bad they're punny
« Reply #7448 on: October 14, 2023, 11:56:10 am »
What did the Buffalo say when his kid went off to College?

Bye Dave.

Offline Terry de Niro

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Re: Jokes so bad they're punny
« Reply #7449 on: October 14, 2023, 12:44:38 pm »
What's the smelliest thing in the World?

A fishes fanny.

Offline Sir Capon of Debaser

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Re: Jokes so bad they're punny
« Reply #7450 on: October 14, 2023, 12:59:15 pm »
A man goes into a pet shop to buy a parrot. The shop owner points to three identical-looking parrots on a perch and says, "The parrot on the left costs £500 pounds”

"Why does the parrot cost so much?" asks the man. The owner says "Well the parrot knows how to use a computer."

The man then asks about the next parrot and learns that it costs £1000 Pounds because it can do everything the first parrot can do plus it knows how to use the complex operating system.

Naturally, the increasingly startled man asks about the third parrot, only to be told that it costs £2000 pounds. Needless to say, this begs the question, "What can it do?"

To which the owner replies, "To be honest, I have never seen it do anything, but the other two call him boss!"

Offline farawayred

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Re: Jokes so bad they're punny
« Reply #7451 on: October 14, 2023, 06:11:39 pm »
What's the smelliest thing in the World?

A fishes fanny.
That is what my daughter calls the tree at the corner of our house. When it flowers, it smells something like that...
Cruyff: "Victory is not enough, there also needs to be beautiful football."

Offline farawayred

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Re: Jokes so bad they're punny
« Reply #7452 on: October 14, 2023, 06:12:19 pm »
A blind man goes by a fish store and says "Hi, girls!"
Cruyff: "Victory is not enough, there also needs to be beautiful football."

Offline Andy @ Allerton!

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Re: Jokes so bad they're punny
« Reply #7453 on: October 14, 2023, 06:33:16 pm »
Brown and sticky?

Remember that kind of joke before in my country but with different answer.

With the full of of respect - It's penis layered below semen. It's sticky, mate. But not contaminated.

:O
Quote from: tubby on Today at 12:45:53 pm

They both went in high, that's factually correct, both tried to play the ball at height.  Doku with his foot, Mac Allister with his chest.

Offline Wabaloolah

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Re: Jokes so bad they're punny
« Reply #7454 on: October 14, 2023, 06:50:15 pm »
A man goes into a pet shop to buy a parrot. The shop owner points to three identical-looking parrots on a perch and says, "The parrot on the left costs £500 pounds”

"Why does the parrot cost so much?" asks the man. The owner says "Well the parrot knows how to use a computer."

The man then asks about the next parrot and learns that it costs £1000 Pounds because it can do everything the first parrot can do plus it knows how to use the complex operating system.

Naturally, the increasingly startled man asks about the third parrot, only to be told that it costs £2000 pounds. Needless to say, this begs the question, "What can it do?"

To which the owner replies, "To be honest, I have never seen it do anything, but the other two call him boss!"
:wellin
However if something serious happens to them I will eat my own cock.


If anyone is going to put a few fingers deep into my arse it's going to be me.

Offline John C

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Re: Jokes so bad they're punny
« Reply #7455 on: October 14, 2023, 07:46:44 pm »
My wife said she's going to leave me in the morning because I'm obsessed with Wham!

I said, "Wake me up before you go go!"
;D
That's a belter mate hahahahahahah

Offline Terry de Niro

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Re: Jokes so bad they're punny
« Reply #7456 on: October 14, 2023, 09:42:30 pm »
;D
That's a belter mate hahahahahahah
I stole it mate.
I'm the thief of bad gags.   ;)

Offline sinnermichael

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Re: Jokes so bad they're punny
« Reply #7457 on: October 16, 2023, 01:32:12 pm »
Sting has been kidnapped.

The police have no lead.

Offline John C

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Re: Jokes so bad they're punny
« Reply #7458 on: October 20, 2023, 03:35:58 pm »
Sting has been kidnapped.

The police have no lead.
I'm gutted there few Atletico Mince fans on RAWK.

Offline bradders1011

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Re: Jokes so bad they're punny
« Reply #7459 on: October 20, 2023, 04:37:38 pm »
I'm gutted there few Atletico Mince fans on RAWK.

Yer a good lad John.

I've got a friend who's in love with 2 school bags.

He's bisatchel.
If I were a linesman, I would execute defenders who applauded my offsides.

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Re: Jokes so bad they're punny
« Reply #7460 on: October 20, 2023, 06:42:46 pm »
Yer a good lad John.

I've got a friend who's in love with 2 school bags.

He's bisatchel.

:D

I went to the local video shop and said could I borrow Batman Forever? He said, no you have to bring it back tomorrow.

Offline Only Me

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Re: Jokes so bad they're punny
« Reply #7461 on: October 20, 2023, 06:53:50 pm »
Me Nan and Grandad just moved to a bungalow in a new town, and I rang to ask how they were settling in to their new home.

Me Nan said "I'm absolutely fine love, but your Grandad's like a fish out of water."

I said "Aah, is he finding it difficult to adjust?"

She said "No, earlier on he was flapping around on the carpet gasping for breath, and now I think he's dead".


Offline capt k

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Re: Jokes so bad they're punny
« Reply #7462 on: October 21, 2023, 06:57:46 am »
Whats brown and sticky ?

A stick
What's brown and sticky? A stick.
bit late there mate
JFT 96

Offline farawayred

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Re: Jokes so bad they're punny
« Reply #7463 on: October 21, 2023, 07:08:19 am »
  bit late there mate
That was clearly a different stick though...
Cruyff: "Victory is not enough, there also needs to be beautiful football."

Offline Cohiba

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Re: Jokes so bad they're punny
« Reply #7464 on: October 21, 2023, 05:08:49 pm »
Wood be funny if it wasn't rotten  ;D
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Was believed to be impossible at one time

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Re: Jokes so bad they're punny
« Reply #7465 on: October 21, 2023, 06:12:45 pm »
Wood be funny if it wasn't rotten  ;D

Rotten sticks are still brown and sticky.

Offline Fitzy.

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Re: Jokes so bad they're punny
« Reply #7466 on: October 22, 2023, 03:13:59 pm »
Do you know what a Freudian slip is?

It’s when you say one thing and you mean your mother.

Offline Fitzy.

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Re: Jokes so bad they're punny
« Reply #7467 on: October 22, 2023, 06:13:47 pm »
My wife has just become a vegetarian.

She’s become so different…it’s as if I’ve never met herbivore.

Offline Mark Walters

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Re: Jokes so bad they're punny
« Reply #7468 on: October 23, 2023, 11:24:39 am »
:D

I went to the local video shop and said could I borrow Batman Forever? He said, no you have to bring it back tomorrow.
Video shop? Are you still living in the 90s?!
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Offline Henry Gale

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Re: Jokes so bad they're punny
« Reply #7469 on: October 24, 2023, 01:55:39 pm »

What's the difference between ironman and ironwoman?

Ironman is a superhero and ironwomen is a command.

Offline Chakan

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Re: Jokes so bad they're punny
« Reply #7470 on: October 24, 2023, 01:56:41 pm »
What's the difference between ironman and ironwoman?

Ironman is a superhero and ironwomen is a command.

You've been watching the Australian tiktok make each other laugh show.

*cause that just came up this morning

Offline SamLad

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Re: Jokes so bad they're punny
« Reply #7471 on: October 24, 2023, 01:57:08 pm »
when you buy mothballs, you start to wonder how they manage to fly.

Offline Henry Gale

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Re: Jokes so bad they're punny
« Reply #7472 on: October 24, 2023, 02:00:37 pm »
You've been watching the Australian tiktok make each other laugh show.

*cause that just came up this morning

The lovely old lady in the canteen told it me at lunch  ;D I suppose she could have got it from TikTok  ;D

Offline Chakan

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Re: Jokes so bad they're punny
« Reply #7473 on: October 24, 2023, 02:04:42 pm »
The lovely old lady in the canteen told it me at lunch  ;D I suppose she could have got it from TikTok  ;D

Ah righto, yeah I just saw it not 30min ago, it's a funny segment. Every time they laugh they have to take a shot of alcohol.

Offline Terry de Niro

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Re: Jokes so bad they're punny
« Reply #7474 on: October 24, 2023, 02:25:15 pm »
What's the difference between ironman and ironwoman?

Ironman is a superhero and ironwomen is a command.
The poster "Millie" will have your guts for garters.  ;D

Offline Henry Gale

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Re: Jokes so bad they're punny
« Reply #7475 on: October 24, 2023, 02:29:42 pm »
The poster "Millie" will have your guts for garters.  ;D

Oh shit! I will level it up  ;D

How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?

ONE......He just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him.

Offline Terry de Niro

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Re: Jokes so bad they're punny
« Reply #7476 on: October 24, 2023, 02:38:28 pm »
Oh shit! I will level it up  ;D

How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?

ONE......He just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him.
How many Evertonians does it take to change a light bulb?

None.
They would all just sit in the dark and blame the "Red Shite"

Offline Henry Gale

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Re: Jokes so bad they're punny
« Reply #7477 on: October 24, 2023, 03:01:13 pm »
How many Evertonians does it take to change a light bulb?

None.
They would all just sit in the dark and blame the "Red Shite"

 ;D

Offline SamLad

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Re: Jokes so bad they're punny
« Reply #7478 on: October 24, 2023, 03:13:48 pm »
How many Evertonians does it take to change a light bulb?

None.
They would all just sit in the dark and blame the "Red Shite"
well some of those wires are red y'know.

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Re: Jokes so bad they're punny
« Reply #7479 on: October 24, 2023, 03:44:08 pm »
Video shop? Are you still living in the 90s?!

Blame Peter Beardsley, not me!