Topic: Anxiety

[Upinsmoke]

Some good advice.

I've been better lately, i've been more adventurous in social situations, just more out going and open. It's helped. I think loneliness plays a part in anxiety. Being out of the social loop kinda thing, But it doesn't materialise until your in a situation around others but maybe that's just me.

[thekitkatshuffler]

Ok, serious response to you lads. I’m not going to go into the ins and outs of my experiences if you don’t mind, but I will say this; do this ten day course, do it and commit to it.

I can tell you what it did for me but it would take a lot longer than the ten days I had, so PM me and I will at least try to give you a concise explanation.

http://www.dipa.dhamma.org/

I know I'm late to the party on this, and I normally only really do piss taking when I'm on the internet, but that has piqued my interest, so thanks for posting it 20+ months ago.   

[Red Beret]

So afraid of putting my foot in my mouth lately that I'm afraid to hang out with anybody.  Certainly takes a lot more than it used to for me to step out the flat or even pick up the phone.  I shouldn't, but I'll probably end up getting another take out today.  I was going to go buy myself some tins of soup but a chippy or some such sounds better to me right now. :/

[damomad]

I find cooking to be very therapeutic. Made a good pot of soup there now from scratch, a simple Youtube receipe.

It's grocery shopping that can be a nightmare, sometimes I grab a basket, half fill it, then can't decide on what I want to eat so end up leaving it or putting all the groceries back. Managed it today though

Thanks for the advice lads, feels good to vent in here among reds

[Redman0151]

I find cooking to be very therapeutic. Made a good pot of soup there now from scratch, a simple Youtube receipe.

It's grocery shopping that can be a nightmare, sometimes I grab a basket, half fill it, then can't decide on what I want to eat so end up leaving it or putting all the groceries back. Managed it today though

Thanks for the advice lads, feels good to vent in here among reds

Don't worry mate there's always people here if you need advice/someone to speak to 

[AnfieldCat]

I find cooking to be very therapeutic. Made a good pot of soup there now from scratch, a simple Youtube receipe.

It's grocery shopping that can be a nightmare, sometimes I grab a basket, half fill it, then can't decide on what I want to eat so end up leaving it or putting all the groceries back. Managed it today though

Thanks for the advice lads, feels good to vent in here among reds

Grocery shopping is a trigger for my anxiety. Really awful to be stuck in a bright loud supermarket when my eyes start going funny through the panic. The absolute worst is waiting in the queue and feeling shaky, sweating and like I am going to collapse. I get really irritable as well, if the person in front of me is being slow and talking to the cashier I'll be tutting to myself and going 'for fucks sake, hurry up'

[IgorBobbins]

Since the break-up of my long term relationship about 3 years ago, I've been stuck in the position of not wanting to live anymore but at the same time not wanting to upset my family if I went through with it.  The thing is, if I'm not enjoying life and am constantly depressed, upset, panicky etc., then why should I put myself through that for the next 50 years?  For who's benefit am I still here? It sure as he'll isn't mine.

There are so many things wrong with me (mentally) that I don't even know where to start. Just thinking about trying to get some help leaves me exhausted. I tried anti-depressants for a couple of years but they didn't seem to do much so I stopped taking them.  When I read about depression, it's always described as a chemical inbalance in the brain and that people who suffer are otherwise perfectly happy in their lives. But the thing is, I'm not. I know exactly why I'm not happy - so is it still a chemical inbalance or just unhappiness because of my situation/circumstances?

Anyway, sorry - I've rambled. Hope everyone is doing ok.

[Red Beret]

My own negativity is so ingrained that I doubt I will ever be free of it, now matter how much CBT I engage in.  You can't undo almost 40 years of suffering.

I'm definitely developing social anxiety.  On a day to day, superficial level, interacting with people isn't an issue.  But establishing more meaningful, intimate, long term relationships/friendships is now, I fear, beyond me.

[macca888]

My own negativity is so ingrained that I doubt I will ever be free of it, now matter how much CBT I engage in.  You can't undo almost 40 years of suffering.

I'm definitely developing social anxiety.  On a day to day, superficial level, interacting with people isn't an issue.  But establishing more meaningful, intimate, long term relationships/friendships is now, I fear, beyond me.

Mate, you won't ever be free of your negativity if:

a) You think CBT is the solution. It isn't.

b) You don't think you ever will be.

Point b) is the self fulfilling prophecy of your own negativity. The CBT will just mask negativity with a positive way of trying to think. The solution is to not just find out why you're negative. because you probably know this already. The long term solution is to find out exactly why you feel the way you do about your experiences that have given you a negative outlook on life. Discover what has conditioned you to feel the way you do, and that starts the process of reframing everything for you.

[macca888]

Since the break-up of my long term relationship about 3 years ago, I've been stuck in the position of not wanting to live anymore but at the same time not wanting to upset my family if I went through with it.  The thing is, if I'm not enjoying life and am constantly depressed, upset, panicky etc., then why should I put myself through that for the next 50 years?  For who's benefit am I still here? It sure as he'll isn't mine.

There are so many things wrong with me (mentally) that I don't even know where to start. Just thinking about trying to get some help leaves me exhausted. I tried anti-depressants for a couple of years but they didn't seem to do much so I stopped taking them.  When I read about depression, it's always described as a chemical inbalance in the brain and that people who suffer are otherwise perfectly happy in their lives. But the thing is, I'm not. I know exactly why I'm not happy - so is it still a chemical inbalance or just unhappiness because of my situation/circumstances?

Anyway, sorry - I've rambled. Hope everyone is doing ok.

Just sent you a PM mate.

[Hij]

I feel sorry for anyone who gets anxiety regularly. I often drink way too much over a 2-3 day period and presumably have some mild alcohol withdrawal as soon as I go cold turkey afterward and during that time I get all the symptons listed here. Knowing that I end up getting anxiety shortly after immediately stopping after 2-3 days of binging at the weekend, I'll often drink my way out of the withdrawals by having some token alcohol but less than the day before which makes it a bit more palatable. After Friday and the Mayweather fight Saturday and then going out Sunday all day I could feel it coming on the Monday. I've had it before so it scared me shitless to be honest. I thought I was about to have a heart attack but I've had this happen before so I went and got a bottle of wine- feeling better today and haven't drunk anything at all other than squash, and hopefully now can go a few days without drinking at all.

Like others on the previous page have said, it's annoying. My parents have moved away in January so I live on my own.  I only got into my current place for a month then was told I had 2 months to find somewhere else which is a bit of upheaval.  I work in a bar. If my mates ask me to come out to see them it's always for a drink. I went fishing with my mate the other week, and while I enjoyed doing something that didn't involve the bar, obviously we had a crate of beer there. Booze at every turn. Since leaving my parents house I seem to drink even more than I did before. I guess when you've got Sky Television and healthy meals made by your mum each day it's a little easier to stay in, used to have a dart board as well. Whereas now perhaps I don't eat so well, and get bored and go out and drink instead.

The onus is on me to change it all. I know that. Obviously I don't really like where I live at the moment and I need to get into a better routine in terms of eating well, and only having 1 or 2 days a fortnight where I even touch alcohol.   I'm annoyed that I did 24 days no booze at the start of the year and now it's nearly half way through and some of the things I had intended to do I've failed at. I guess all you can do is try and pick yourself up and go again.

I really want to pass my driving test (theory and practical) and get some stuff done that will make me feel happier about myself and little more worthwhile/confident I guess. I did 24 days in January (after doing the whole month last year) but then slipped off the wagon once my parents left. I stayed at my mums mates house for 2 weeks temporarily, and would go out after work for drinks rather than straight back as I felt like an intruder and it wasn't my home, then this new place etc.

I dunno, I guess a full time job would help. I work at 6pm in the evening till close in a private members bar, so it's very easy to make it in hungover the next day or go out after work if I finish at 9/10pm whereas perhaps I would have elected not to drink at all (or even be anywhere near a bar) had I had a full time job when working the next day. But my criminal conviction I got in 2011 only runs out in 2016 and I'm nervous of applying for stuff and getting knocked back and using that as an excuse to drink.

I've gone way off the course of the thread, I guess I just wanted to get it off my chest. I know I'm in a bit of a rut, and I really want to get of it. I really feel great when I have productive days and feel like I've made strides forwards but I always seem to follow it up with convincing myself it's ok to have beers with mates, and often that leads to too many (and it's fucking expensive!).
Ack.

[RhodyRoadie]

Though I'd ad my 2p here as well.

Well after 10 years of debating to go see a therapist, I finally did and it has started my process to "recovery";

Since I've started therapy in late march, I've..

1-learned that I have Social Anxiety Disorder, which was much to my relief that "it" had a name, and was something I could work on to control better
2-learned that I had a pretty messed-up up-bringing (the old school bullying your kid to be better doesn't really work)
3-learned that there is a family dynamic at-least for 2 generation that put the first-born on a pedestal (happened with my father, happened with my older brother)

Now the last two things can't be changed, but, it gives me great relief to realized some of the crux of my problems, and it gives me a guide-post on how to overcome these issues that have been holding me back for 20+ years.

[...]

Getting out of my comfort zone has done wonders and I'm now looking at full-time employment for the first time ever - might seem like fuck all but it's a massive difference to who I was a couple of years ago.

[Hij]

Getting out of my comfort zone has done wonders and I'm now looking at full-time employment for the first time ever - might seem like fuck all but it's a massive difference to who I was a couple of years ago.

Sounds great mate as long as you are happy!

[macca888]

I feel sorry for anyone who gets anxiety regularly. I often drink way too much over a 2-3 day period and presumably have some mild alcohol withdrawal as soon as I go cold turkey afterward and during that time I get all the symptons listed here. Knowing that I end up getting anxiety shortly after immediately stopping after 2-3 days of binging at the weekend, I'll often drink my way out of the withdrawals by having some token alcohol but less than the day before which makes it a bit more palatable. After Friday and the Mayweather fight Saturday and then going out Sunday all day I could feel it coming on the Monday. I've had it before so it scared me shitless to be honest. I thought I was about to have a heart attack but I've had this happen before so I went and got a bottle of wine- feeling better today and haven't drunk anything at all other than squash, and hopefully now can go a few days without drinking at all.

Like others on the previous page have said, it's annoying. My parents have moved away in January so I live on my own.  I only got into my current place for a month then was told I had 2 months to find somewhere else which is a bit of upheaval.  I work in a bar. If my mates ask me to come out to see them it's always for a drink. I went fishing with my mate the other week, and while I enjoyed doing something that didn't involve the bar, obviously we had a crate of beer there. Booze at every turn. Since leaving my parents house I seem to drink even more than I did before. I guess when you've got Sky Television and healthy meals made by your mum each day it's a little easier to stay in, used to have a dart board as well. Whereas now perhaps I don't eat so well, and get bored and go out and drink instead.

The onus is on me to change it all. I know that. Obviously I don't really like where I live at the moment and I need to get into a better routine in terms of eating well, and only having 1 or 2 days a fortnight where I even touch alcohol.   I'm annoyed that I did 24 days no booze at the start of the year and now it's nearly half way through and some of the things I had intended to do I've failed at. I guess all you can do is try and pick yourself up and go again.

I really want to pass my driving test (theory and practical) and get some stuff done that will make me feel happier about myself and little more worthwhile/confident I guess. I did 24 days in January (after doing the whole month last year) but then slipped off the wagon once my parents left. I stayed at my mums mates house for 2 weeks temporarily, and would go out after work for drinks rather than straight back as I felt like an intruder and it wasn't my home, then this new place etc.

I dunno, I guess a full time job would help. I work at 6pm in the evening till close in a private members bar, so it's very easy to make it in hungover the next day or go out after work if I finish at 9/10pm whereas perhaps I would have elected not to drink at all (or even be anywhere near a bar) had I had a full time job when working the next day. But my criminal conviction I got in 2011 only runs out in 2016 and I'm nervous of applying for stuff and getting knocked back and using that as an excuse to drink.

I've gone way off the course of the thread, I guess I just wanted to get it off my chest. I know I'm in a bit of a rut, and I really want to get of it. I really feel great when I have productive days and feel like I've made strides forwards but I always seem to follow it up with convincing myself it's ok to have beers with mates, and often that leads to too many (and it's fucking expensive!).
Ack.

The good thing mate is that you can see where you want to be and you can see what's stopping you from getting there. It sounds from what you've said is that going on the ale is what's preventing you from doing the things you really want to do, and being with your mates is what eases you into hitting the ale. Cycles are there to be broken mate, and it's difficult to know which way round to do it from. On one hand you could not see your mates until you can get a grip of the drinking but that can lead to feelings of loneliness. On the other hand, you can maybe explain to your mates that you want to be booze free and they're more than likely to be supportive of you for doing that, so it puts an end to drinking too much but keeps you in the company of your mates. Just remember mate, trying to change everything all at once might be too much, but small gradual changes always seem to have the longest lasting effects.

[macca888]

Though I'd ad my 2p here as well.

Well after 10 years of debating to go see a therapist, I finally did and it has started my process to "recovery";

Since I've started therapy in late march, I've..

1-learned that I have Social Anxiety Disorder, which was much to my relief that "it" had a name, and was something I could work on to control better
2-learned that I had a pretty messed-up up-bringing (the old school bullying your kid to be better doesn't really work)
3-learned that there is a family dynamic at-least for 2 generation that put the first-born on a pedestal (happened with my father, happened with my older brother)

Now the last two things can't be changed, but, it gives me great relief to realized some of the crux of my problems, and it gives me a guide-post on how to overcome these issues that have been holding me back for 20+ years.

Good stuff mate, it sounds like you're happy with how well it's working out for you.

[macca888]

Getting out of my comfort zone has done wonders and I'm now looking at full-time employment for the first time ever - might seem like fuck all but it's a massive difference to who I was a couple of years ago.

And great stuff to you too mate. It sounds like you're chuffed to bits with how well you're doing.

[bordeauxred]

My daughter has been diagnosed with social anxiety which she feels she has had in some form or another for about 5 years. She has had so far 5 CBT ( 1 a week) sessions she says that that they help at the time but then by the weekend she is not feeling well.

She has a summer job and has started going jogging as the therapist says that exercise will help. She has also been doing a form of "mindfulness" so that helps her sleep as she is tired all the time. She goes back to Uni for her final year in Oct and is very academic so I just want to try & help her get through it but not sure what to do. I have researched it on the internet so bought her calming teas. healthy food etc but am now wondering if she should push to see her Doc and get medication as initially we were ensure about taking medications - maybe side effects, addictive I dont know really ?

For various reasons I am not with her at the moment but we skype/phone regularly and she will be with us in August till Oct before heading back to Uni but I just feel helpless and I really want her to complete her degree without too much stress and just want to help her but not sure what to do. Should I suggest that she goes back to the Docs for medication.?

[Upinsmoke]

Exercise definitely helps, i've taken up riding a bike recently and it's a great way to relieve stress and anxiety. I think it's a combination of you doing something physical that makes you feel better about yourself and just being outdoors and enjoying the feels and sights it's quite relaxing.

So I'd encourage exercise absolutely.

[damomad]

I visited back home for the first time in almost 2 years recently and spent some real quality time with the family. My younger sister and I had long discussions about the past year because I know she had been struggling with uni/making friends/and feeling fatigued all the time. The feelings she was describing were very similar to those that I have been dealing with.

The reason I went home was to see her graduation. She has said that my constant Skyping and listening to her problems and giving her motivation throughout the year is what got her through. Just a few things I kept telling her to help cope:

1. Avoid coffee and black tea. Stick to Green Tea/Roobios/Herbal Teas
2. Exercise, specifically cardio (running) in the morning.
3. Listening to positive music
4. Force yourself to get up an hour early, and going to bed early at the other end.
5. No TV/Internet within the last hour or so of bed. Read a book and stay away from screens
6. Stay in contact with friends/family with a text, even if it's just a quick hello/how are you through the day? Any contact is worthwhile.
7. Stay off Facebook/comparing yourself to what others are doing or how happy they seem to be. We are all alone really and worry at times but no-one talks about it on there, everyone is out doing something more fun than you or achieving something.
8. Read more/Watch less TV
9. Limit alcohol.

I used to think that the last one was the solution to all my problems. But in truth, by not attending social events, I was compounding my anxiety. It's a constant battle but I love catching up with good friends and having a beer. It's important to realise early that not everyone is worthwhile getting drunk for!

My older sister was diagnosed with a version of schizophrenia and has been living with it for years now so I sometimes wonder if we just have fucked up genes. I'm convinced though, that for young people these days it's more prevalent than ever. I even seen people handing out leaflets outside train stations for it when I was at home for anxiety help lines. Maybe life is so easy these days that we don't fear for our lives like in wartime but we fear for EVERYTHING else.

I have no experience with meds but I'm sure others will be better at giving advice, and good luck to your daughter in the year ahead, I have total faith she will get through with your support and understanding. We all do in the end!

[bordeauxred]

Your advice is much appreciated. In a way she is glad that she has been diagnosed as she wasnt sure what was the matter she just knew that she didnt feel right.

She does try & stick to the recommendations from the Docs and the Therapist, like the suggestions above, but sometimes she cant fulfil them all. I suppose generally that I just feel helpless as I'm not always with her but we are in touch via the internet & phone and she will be with us for 6 weeks when her current summer job finishes.

Thanks for your positivity.

[AnfieldCat]

Is Mindfulness something you can get through sessions at the GP? Or is there somewhere online you can learn the technique? I must admit if I had heard the word a year ago I would have rolled my eyes and thought it was something Gwyneth Paltrow had invented but after hearing more about it in dribs and drabs the past few months I think I really, really need it.

Cannot stop obsessing and worrying about things and yet feel I have nowhere to turn at all, have had a few attempts at CBT in the past and am way too scared to take medication, what with me having health anxiety the potential side effects of medication is too terrifying for me to risk. I feel like I am just going to have to put up with this for the rest of my life and that is very depressing.

[Cochise]

I'm having a bad day today.

When I was 17/18 I found out I had a heart murmur, got sent for a scan and was told I had a leaking heart valve. About 4/5 years ago, I started getting these ectopic heartbeats (I was told everyone gets them but only a few notice them), but to be sure I was ok I was sent to the hospital for a heart scan and had to wear a heart monitor for 24 hours. Anyway I went to see a heart specialist who told me she couldn't hear and heart murmur at all, and my GP said he couldn't himself hear one he said if he really tried to hear it he probably could hear one but it was nothing to worry about. I got a letter saying my heart was structurally fine and my GP said according to the ecg my heart valves are all fine. Happy Days!

Anyway since yesterday for some reason I've been googling stuff (I know I'm a twat for this) and I've convinced myself that they must have missed something on the second scan as the first one said I did have a leaking heart valve. It's been going through my head all these little thoughts chipping away at me, my mind going into overdrive and its pissed me off because for the lest couple of months my health anxiety had seemingly gone and its only because I want to start a gym to get healthier and lose weight that it's suddenly kicked in again.

I'm certain I will die if I jog or over do te exercising.
I got breathless a few months ago while lying in bed so I thought I'd google that and guess what? I've convinced myself I have heart failure. Why else would I get breathless? Couldn't be that I'm pushing 15 stone and havering exercises properly for over a decade for fear of dying.

Sorry, I've waffled. I tend to do that when anxious. I have to try and take my mind off it to stop it becoming a full blown panic attack.

[AnfieldCat]

Cochise, I am a googler too and it is so bad for you and yet I can't stop myself. Yesterday I noticed a small purple bruise on my arm so I googled it and on the first search page was '10 signs you have leukemia and don't know it', I immediately went light-headed and started obsessing majorly. Its a new illness every single week with me and its tiresome.

[bordeauxred]

Is Mindfulness something you can get through sessions at the GP? Or is there somewhere online you can learn the technique? I must admit if I had heard the word a year ago I would have rolled my eyes and thought it was something Gwyneth Paltrow had invented but after hearing more about it in dribs and drabs the past few months I think I really, really need it.

Cannot stop obsessing and worrying about things and yet feel I have nowhere to turn at all, have had a few attempts at CBT in the past and am way too scared to take medication, what with me having health anxiety the potential side effects of medication is too terrifying for me to risk. I feel like I am just going to have to put up with this for the rest of my life and that is very depressing.

Hi there A.C. my daughter has a book called "mindfulness" by Mark Williams & Danny Penman off Amazon. It comes with  a CD and she finds it helpful but its not a cure as such as she still has CBT weekly . So far no medication but I dont know if that will be needed in the future. She has also taken up mandala colouring books which she says are relaxing before bed and also gets her off the internet!!! These mandala books are said to be anti stress and they remind me of "colour by number" books that I used to have in the late 60's.

Actually anything that helps with the anxiety sounds good to me so good luck A.C.

[Fiasco]

I'm having a bad day today.

When I was 17/18 I found out I had a heart murmur, got sent for a scan and was told I had a leaking heart valve. About 4/5 years ago, I started getting these ectopic heartbeats (I was told everyone gets them but only a few notice them), but to be sure I was ok I was sent to the hospital for a heart scan and had to wear a heart monitor for 24 hours. Anyway I went to see a heart specialist who told me she couldn't hear and heart murmur at all, and my GP said he couldn't himself hear one he said if he really tried to hear it he probably could hear one but it was nothing to worry about. I got a letter saying my heart was structurally fine and my GP said according to the ecg my heart valves are all fine. Happy Days!

Anyway since yesterday for some reason I've been googling stuff (I know I'm a twat for this) and I've convinced myself that they must have missed something on the second scan as the first one said I did have a leaking heart valve. It's been going through my head all these little thoughts chipping away at me, my mind going into overdrive and its pissed me off because for the lest couple of months my health anxiety had seemingly gone and its only because I want to start a gym to get healthier and lose weight that it's suddenly kicked in again.

I'm certain I will die if I jog or over do te exercising.
I got breathless a few months ago while lying in bed so I thought I'd google that and guess what? I've convinced myself I have heart failure. Why else would I get breathless? Couldn't be that I'm pushing 15 stone and havering exercises properly for over a decade for fear of dying.

Sorry, I've waffled. I tend to do that when anxious. I have to try and take my mind off it to stop it becoming a full blown panic attack.

Mate, first of all I just want to say that I know exactly what you are going through. I've posted in this thread and in the depression thread many times exactly the same stuff as you. Anxiety is a bastard, but health anxiety seems to take it a step further. Heart failure, heart disease, cancer, brain tumors, stroke, you name it I've had it or got it. Just last week I had my own heart scan because I've had so many palpitations and chest pains. In the past I've had many ECG's, treadmill tests, blood tests, you name it. I've had tests for problems with my stomach, I've had tests for pretty much everything.

One thing you have to stop doing is consulting Dr Google. I know from experience. Do not do it. AnfieldCat too, don't do it mate. It's a fucking nightmare. I read up once about a taste of blood in my mouth and within 5 minutes I had convinced myself that I had terminal lung cancer. The problem with health anxiety is that the symptoms ARE real, or at least the mind tricks you into thinking they are. We aren't making it up, the pains do come, the signs are there. But it's like people who have a phantom pregnancy. Their stomachs can swell up, they get actual morning sickness. It's similar with health anxiety. It's truly awful.

If it's playing on your mind so much then go to your GP, explain the situation. I'm sure you'll be reassured, and possibly he or she may do some tests just to be on the safe side. I honestly feel your pain, pardon the pun! I implore you to relax, as hard as that may seem. Try and rationalise your thoughts. For me, I have health anxiety because when I was a kid I had a burst appendix. I went to see my GP and to the hospital a few times during the week and was told it was a stomach bug or food poisoning. Then bam, my appendix popped and I had a pretty close shave, I spent almost a month in hospital and had 2 operations. So ever since then I've found it hard to trust anybody with my health. "Yes, they've said my heart is OK, but I've been told before that things were OK but look what happened." It's wrong, and I know every doctor can make a mistake (for what it's worth the aftercare was outstanding, as was the surgeon), but it's just something that I can't shake off.

Avoid Google as I said, go and see your GP for advice and assurance and maybe you'll be referred for some CBT. Stay strong everyone, PM me if you need to talk in private. As I said, I've got a lot of experience with this.

[Cochise]

Thanks, Fiasco.

Off to the docs tomorrow, wrll its 2:30 so today, and I'm gonna have a chat. Always feel like I'm wasting their time though!

[Cochise]

Just got back from the docs, he said just listen to what the cardiologist said to you. Then he read the letter himself on the system, she said she can't hear anything and your heart is normal. The ECG came back and it says everything is normal with your heart.

Then he listened to my heart and said he couldn't hear any kind of murmur.

This is the thing that gets me, why does this murmur seem to disappear and come back? When they first found it they had to get in 2 doctors to come and listen to make sure that I had a murmur. Maybe it's so faint and insignificant that they can hardly hear it? Anyway, feel a bit better after seeing the doc today.

No more Dr Google for me.

[tbonejones]

Not posted in here before but am only facing up to the fact that I've struggled with anxiety for a long time. Went to the doc a couple of weeks ago and have my first CBT (I think) session in a week or so.

Had to leave work today because I was having a panic attack at my desk. I had a few pints last night and that's what brought it on. Lost my phone on the bus home as well, which is obviously a massive pain in the arse.

Thing is, I can go without the ale - that's one catalyst for my anxiety which I know I can do without these days. Unfortunately I'm so unhappy alongside it that I don't really care if I'm anxious as well. It doesn't matter. I'm still not happy, not content with anything.

My only real desire at the moment and the only I think will help me is to go travelling. Not the classic year in Asia etc but going travelling and working, doing work that's good for others and use my skills to do good things, with no return date in mind. Either Africa or South America. But I don't have the money for it now, and I have a girlfriend who can't travel for a couple more years because of uni. So I have decisions to make, but really I think the only cure for me is to drop everything and get the hell out of the country, go and do good things. Until then I can't imagine myself being happy.

I'm only happy when I'm moving or making others happy.

[Butcher Knife Roberto]

My wife has one of the most severe cases of anxiety disorder that I've ever encountered. It is literally eating away at our marriage, to the point that I can no longer cope with her when she is in a bad frame of mind. It stems from some fairly serious abandonment issues she has with her so-called parents, one of whom has a history of abusing people and the other who quite literally walked out of her life, emigrated and never got in touch again. I cannot blame her really for the way she feels, but it is getting beyond the point where I can't cope with anything and it is beginning to affect my own life. I drink too much, eat badly and have trouble sleeping. Living with her is like walking on eggshells, and I don't know when she will turn from being her normal self to being a monster. She has a referral for psychotherapy but theres a chance we have to wait another 8 weeks until she is seen. I honestly don't think I can last for that long.

Sorry for laying out my own sob story but that has helped a lot, getting a few things off my chest. I really do feel for anyone who lives with this terrible state of mind. It's hard enough being able to provide support to someone who has it, I can't imagine what it's like to live with it. I hope everyone on here who has their own personal battles can find a peaceful place in their minds at some point soon.

[AnfieldCat]

Hi there A.C. my daughter has a book called "mindfulness" by Mark Williams & Danny Penman off Amazon. It comes with  a CD and she finds it helpful but its not a cure as such as she still has CBT weekly . So far no medication but I dont know if that will be needed in the future. She has also taken up mandala colouring books which she says are relaxing before bed and also gets her off the internet!!! These mandala books are said to be anti stress and they remind me of "colour by number" books that I used to have in the late 60's.

Actually anything that helps with the anxiety sounds good to me so good luck A.C.

Thank you. I think I will look into a book like that and the colouring book is also an option. I actually know another anxiety sufferer and she really enjoys doing those too.

@Fiasco - I find it SO hard (impossible actually) to resist google because I crave that feeling you get when your symptom is something common and you get that burst of relief. Of course this week I have been worried about breast cancer and leukemia so I haven't found much relief. Earlier tonight my little finger felt odd for about a second and I thought it was a stroke. My heart started pounding out of my chest. I am sick of my really over the top reaction to aches and pains everyone probably gets. Its funny you mention phantom pregnancy because last year I was convinced I was 5 months pregnant, I went to the doctors and completely broke down in there and got diagnosed with OCD. It was frustrating because the doctor said I needed counseling at a higher level than I had had before so I got excited that I would finally be sorted but when I went to the counseling it was the same level I had before, basically 6-8 which is way too few.

@zen - I really feel for you, I hide a fair few of my worries from my partner as I know I could really wear him down. I am nervous that as I get older and health problems do start to occur I am going to be absolutely unbearable to live with.

[Upinsmoke]

Anyone been on beta blockers?

Reason I'm asking is there prescribed for both anxiety and high blood pressure. I've been struggling with anxiety for a while and when I last got my blood pressure done it was high.. I'm also getting stressed dead easily, I'm really ratty like around the kids and that. Do these take the edge off ?

[Fiasco]

Anyone been on beta blockers?

Reason I'm asking is there prescribed for both anxiety and high blood pressure. I've been struggling with anxiety for a while and when I last got my blood pressure done it was high.. I'm also getting stressed dead easily, I'm really ratty like around the kids and that. Do these take the edge off ?

'Take the edge off' is the perfect description mate. You shouldn't feel spaced or anything, you perhaps might feel like you've had a couple of pints in terms of how relaxed you are. You'll notice the different though from one night to the next, and that normally means they are working a little bit. If you feel 10 percent better and your blood pressure comes down then it's worth it.

Let us know how you feel with them. Propranolol, are they?

[Upinsmoke]

'Take the edge off' is the perfect description mate. You shouldn't feel spaced or anything, you perhaps might feel like you've had a couple of pints in terms of how relaxed you are. You'll notice the different though from one night to the next, and that normally means they are working a little bit. If you feel 10 percent better and your blood pressure comes down then it's worth it.

Let us know how you feel with them. Propranolol, are they?

I'm not sure what they are mate, I'm going the doctors though and was going to suggest them and see if he's open to prescribing them to me.

[AnfieldCat]

I was prescribed Propranolol and didn't dare take it. I am scared to even take an Ibuprofen. I am scared of any new drug that I haven't taken before because of the potential side effects it could give me which is really annoying as I really would love to take something for my anxiety.

[Johnny B. Goode]

Don't know if I've posted here but I suffer a great deal with a mixture of OCD and anxiety, having been diagnosed with both. I have several bouts of muscular tics and rituals, and I always find something to obsess over. More recently: I'm at the airport waiting to go on holiday and dreading leaving my home unattended (my other two house mates are away) just after I bought a brand new TV and my PS4. I spent hours googling information on crime in my street and reading up on tips on how to prevent burglaries. The alarm is on, I have two front doors and two back doors and according to the crime map there has been nothing reported on my street for the past 2 years. I've also hidden my PS4 under the bed but couldn't be arsed with the TV. It'll be fine won't it?  Afraid this is gonna ruin my whole holiday, and I'll be away for three weeks. Should have left spare keys with my mate and have him check out the house at least once. This is also the first time I've lived in a house per se, and I've been alone in it for the past two weeks with all sorts of noises who seem to be from two metres away but in reality are in neighbouring houses. What's weird is that, though they are expensive items, it's not really about their value I am worried about. It's just that I've always wanted a top console on a big TV and it seems too good to be true. My MacBook for instance is worth more than the two put together and I never worry about it. Same for my iPhone. Once I left over 2000 pounds in my mate's unoccupied house and didn't even give it a second thought. Weird, I know, I'm emotionally attached to my console and TV!

Sounds futile, I know, especially seeing people here with real problems. I don't sweat nor shake or anything. Just obsessions, tics, paranoia, nightmares etc. Last holiday I was sure I was going to be arrested at some point, and airports became a source of horror for me. For the past few months I have had nightmares literally every night, involving arrest, being back and trapped in my hometown (hate it with passion) or screwing up my perfectly fine relationship. Think the nightmares started after I broke up with this girl who was obsessed with me and I genuinely thought she was gonna kill herself. I had dreams where I was back with her and couldn't escape.

My GP put me on some meds that in all honesty did nothing for me. I did it all wrong anyway, spent days without taking it and not even sure I gave it enough time to kick in anyway. Kept lying to the GP saying it'd worked because I was ashamed to say I'd been sloppy and couldn't notice any difference at all. I've been referred to CBT ages ago but nothing as of yet. Also I am starting to think my real problem is anxiety rather than OCD - when I'm not anxious the OCD rarely kicks in.

Fuck it, sorry for the huge whiny post that pales in comparison to what other people here go through. Just wanted to get it off my chest and beg for some 'it'll be fine, don't worry' 

[Butcher Knife Roberto]

Anyone been on beta blockers?

Reason I'm asking is there prescribed for both anxiety and high blood pressure. I've been struggling with anxiety for a while and when I last got my blood pressure done it was high.. I'm also getting stressed dead easily, I'm really ratty like around the kids and that. Do these take the edge off ?

The wife takes them when she is feeling close to the edge. Or rather, I suggest to her that she takes one when I know that she's getting close to tipping point. Often by that stage she is losing the ability to notice that the anxiety is taking control, so she usually becomes quite angry and defensive, saying that I'm 'drugging her up' or something similar.

It's getting to the point now though that she is relying upon them because her main medication, fluoxetine, has almost entirely stopped working effectively. She is just feeling utterly lethargic and it's starting to affect things such as going to work, living a regular life. She flat refuses to socialise, which is gradually becoming noticed by our friends. I almost have to beg her to fight it and go out. The worst of it is that she has always been very much the life and soul of the party, but she is fast becoming a shell. As I write this, 1.30pm on a Saturday afternoon, she is in her bed, staring into space. A simple request to have a look at something on the laptop has triggered an attack, thinking that I was taking over and not listening to her, even though it was simply because I couldn't actually read what it was she was looking at (we were looking at getting some event tickets and I couldn't read from the angle I was looking at). Small, insignificant everyday conversations have to be treated with white gloves because of the fragility of the situation, and it is destroying our daily lives.

Going back to the issue of meds, the reason I mention episodes such as those above is because medication is simply a sticking plaster in my opinion. The wounds are still there beneath the surface. I'm watching fluoxetine turn my wife into a ghost, yet the doctors simply fling more pills at her in the hope that she'll just eventually go away. Access to actual proper therapy in the UK is an utter joke; after having someone at the local surgery fumble around with her head for 3 or 4 weeks she was referred to psychiatric services at the local hospital, but the waiting list is 18 WEEKS. I find that hard enough to get my head around, but I can't even imagine to think what my wife thinks of it all.

It raises larger questions around the quality of care, the NHS, all that stuff, but everyone has their own opinion on it all. I work with people who live with mental health issues as part of my job, and I hear the same story repeatedly. Surely someone, somewhere, needs to start listening to the needs of people who live with anxiety. Simply telling someone that everything will be fine, don't worry, relax, it'll be ok, here, take these pills, doesn't cut the fucking mustard.

[bakstabba]

Anyone been on beta blockers?

Reason I'm asking is there prescribed for both anxiety and high blood pressure. I've been struggling with anxiety for a while and when I last got my blood pressure done it was high.. I'm also getting stressed dead easily, I'm really ratty like around the kids and that. Do these take the edge off ?

I have mate.

I was on them about a year ago when it was getting really bad, as in I couldn't get out of bed because I was so gripped with anxiety bad.

It takes the edge of it and allows you to have a bit more control so you can function like a normal human being.

It obviously doesn't solve everything but I like to think of it as helping to place you into a less anxious frame of mind so you have space to work at identifying your triggers, finding reasons for why you feel the way you do in certain situations, having a better mind set etc.

[Upinsmoke]

Thanks for the insight in your posts.

Zen this is why I've always been wary of any prescribed meds for anxiety /depression etc because I worry there only masking an issue that won't go away. I really sympathise with you and hope your wife gets the help she needs, for you both.

[Upinsmoke]

Don't know if I've posted here but I suffer a great deal with a mixture of OCD and anxiety, having been diagnosed with both. I have several bouts of muscular tics and rituals, and I always find something to obsess over. More recently: I'm at the airport waiting to go on holiday and dreading leaving my home unattended (my other two house mates are away) just after I bought a brand new TV and my PS4. I spent hours googling information on crime in my street and reading up on tips on how to prevent burglaries. The alarm is on, I have two front doors and two back doors and according to the crime map there has been nothing reported on my street for the past 2 years. I've also hidden my PS4 under the bed but couldn't be arsed with the TV. It'll be fine won't it?  Afraid this is gonna ruin my whole holiday, and I'll be away for three weeks. Should have left spare keys with my mate and have him check out the house at least once. This is also the first time I've lived in a house per se, and I've been alone in it for the past two weeks with all sorts of noises who seem to be from two metres away but in reality are in neighbouring houses. What's weird is that, though they are expensive items, it's not really about their value I am worried about. It's just that I've always wanted a top console on a big TV and it seems too good to be true. My MacBook for instance is worth more than the two put together and I never worry about it. Same for my iPhone. Once I left over 2000 pounds in my mate's unoccupied house and didn't even give it a second thought. Weird, I know, I'm emotionally attached to my console and TV!

Sounds futile, I know, especially seeing people here with real problems. I don't sweat nor shake or anything. Just obsessions, tics, paranoia, nightmares etc. Last holiday I was sure I was going to be arrested at some point, and airports became a source of horror for me. For the past few months I have had nightmares literally every night, involving arrest, being back and trapped in my hometown (hate it with passion) or screwing up my perfectly fine relationship. Think the nightmares started after I broke up with this girl who was obsessed with me and I genuinely thought she was gonna kill herself. I had dreams where I was back with her and couldn't escape.

My GP put me on some meds that in all honesty did nothing for me. I did it all wrong anyway, spent days without taking it and not even sure I gave it enough time to kick in anyway. Kept lying to the GP saying it'd worked because I was ashamed to say I'd been sloppy and couldn't notice any difference at all. I've been referred to CBT ages ago but nothing as of yet. Also I am starting to think my real problem is anxiety rather than OCD - when I'm not anxious the OCD rarely kicks in.

Fuck it, sorry for the huge whiny post that pales in comparison to what other people here go through. Just wanted to get it off my chest and beg for some 'it'll be fine, don't worry' 

Im similar when I go out, even if it's only for a few hours
I try to keep my kids quiet going down the street as I don't want anyone knowing were leaving the house innocupied. Sounds absolutely fucking ludicrous, theyll be excited because we're going out somewhere and I'll be trying to hush them up till were out of the street. So many insecurities and worries trigger anxiety.