Author Topic: The Marital Sex thread... (Read 176432 times)

Enemy · « **Reply #520 on:** January 6, 2012, 10:00:10 am »

Quote from: .adam on January 6, 2012, 09:54:52 am

Get the mods to change your username... problem solved.

Wouldn't change all the people who quoted him. Could still do a search.

stevedo · « **Reply #521 on:** January 6, 2012, 10:16:54 am »

Quote from: Sir Harvest Fields on January 6, 2012, 09:16:07 am

I have to be careful what i say on here. My new bird decided to google my user name and saw the posts about her. To say she was most displeased is an understatement. Ah well, its only meant in jest.

Why would you tell her your username man?

Enemy · « **Reply #522 on:** January 6, 2012, 10:20:54 am »

Quote from: stevedo on January 6, 2012, 10:16:54 am

Why would you tell her your username man?

I think when you google his actual name it brings it up. Not that I've googled him...

stevedo · « **Reply #523 on:** January 6, 2012, 10:33:24 am »

Quote from: Enemy on January 6, 2012, 10:20:54 am

I think when you google his actual name it brings it up. Not that I've googled him...

Right, you've got a friend who has?

Enemy · « **Reply #524 on:** January 6, 2012, 10:38:24 am »

Quote from: stevedo on January 6, 2012, 10:33:24 am

Right, you've got a friend who has?

Yes, exactly, I knew you'd understand.

Sir Harvest Fields · « **Reply #525 on:** January 6, 2012, 11:00:06 am »

My mate got me a replica shirt with Harvest Fields on it and she asked what it was so i said. Ah well, ive not been dumped so thats good

stevedo · « **Reply #526 on:** January 6, 2012, 11:08:41 am »

Quote from: Sir Harvest Fields on January 6, 2012, 11:00:06 am

My mate got me a replica shirt with Harvest Fields on it and she asked what it was so i said. Ah well, ive not been dumped so thats good

The Groucho Marx 'club rule' springs to mind.

Sir Harvest Fields · « **Reply #527 on:** January 6, 2012, 11:11:20 am »

I blame BarneyLFC and his sig that was spotted

Doc Evil · « **Reply #528 on:** January 6, 2012, 12:06:38 pm »

Quote from: stevedo on January 6, 2012, 11:08:41 am

The Groucho Marx 'club rule' springs to mind.

Amen brother . . .

Barneylfc∗ · « **Reply #529 on:** January 6, 2012, 12:38:08 pm »

Quote from: Sir Harvest Fields on January 6, 2012, 11:11:20 am

I blame BarneyLFC and his sig that was spotted

It's pretty obvious to me you were paying her a compliment.

Enemy · « **Reply #530 on:** January 6, 2012, 12:39:04 pm »

Completely harmless quote compared to the usual to be fair.

tinner777 · « **Reply #531 on:** January 6, 2012, 12:57:39 pm »

Quote from: Barneylfc on January 6, 2012, 12:38:08 pm

It's pretty obvious to me you were paying her a compliment.

Sir Harvest Fields · « **Reply #532 on:** January 6, 2012, 02:42:37 pm »

yes i was mate. Thanks for the clarification

Billy The Kid · « **Reply #533 on:** January 7, 2012, 12:42:14 pm »

Reading this thread has given me serious reservations about ever getting married

Fillers story is tragic. Bennekov I feel for you also

Is it really that hard to get flange when you're married?

Enemy · « **Reply #534 on:** January 7, 2012, 01:16:06 pm »

Not if you pay for it.

jason42 · « **Reply #535 on:** January 7, 2012, 03:42:20 pm »

Quote from: Billy The Kid. on January 7, 2012, 12:42:14 pm

Reading this thread has given me serious reservations about ever getting married

Fillers story is tragic. Bennekov I feel for you also

Is it really that hard to get flange when you're married?

There are many reasons for it - getting older, kids, work, busy, tiredness, stress, not enough time together, housework, health problems and that's just me

jaffod · « **Reply #536 on:** January 7, 2012, 10:36:57 pm »

Quote from: jason23 on January 7, 2012, 03:42:20 pm

There are many reasons for it - getting older, kids, work, busy, tiredness, stress, not enough time together, housework, health problems and that's just me

I've found the older I get the more I want it. I'm convinced by the time I get to 50 I'll be walking round with a permanent lob on. Unfortunately the Mrs appears to be going the other way and I always believed women were at their sexual peak in their 40's.

Slightly Less Mediocre Baron Bennekov · « **Reply #537 on:** January 7, 2012, 10:45:06 pm »

Billy, thanks for your understanding words.

Jason and jaffod's answers speak for themselves and they are the truth. However depressing it may sound... I love being married though.

Sir Harvest Fields · « **Reply #538 on:** January 7, 2012, 10:46:33 pm »

Quote from: Bennekov on January 7, 2012, 10:45:06 pm

Billy, thanks for your understanding words.

Jason and jaffod's answers speak for themselves and they are the truth. However depressing it may sound... I love being married though.

Shut it Thomas u big fat quim.

And Could He Play · « **Reply #539 on:** January 7, 2012, 10:47:18 pm »

Quote from: Sir Harvest Fields on January 7, 2012, 10:46:33 pm

Shut it Thomas u big fat quim.

hahahahaahahahahahahahahahaahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Slightly Less Mediocre Baron Bennekov · « **Reply #540 on:** January 7, 2012, 10:51:34 pm »

Quote from: Sir Harvest Fields on January 7, 2012, 10:46:33 pm

Shut it Thomas u big fat quim.

Quote from: Bill Clinton on January 7, 2012, 10:47:18 pm

hahahahaahahahahahahahahahaahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Oi Oliver & Hardy keep yer pieholes shut, will youse? C*nts!

And Could He Play · « **Reply #541 on:** January 7, 2012, 10:56:50 pm »

Sir Harvest Fields · « **Reply #542 on:** January 7, 2012, 11:03:12 pm »

Isnt it Laurel and Hardy mate?

Slightly Less Mediocre Baron Bennekov · « **Reply #543 on:** January 7, 2012, 11:09:33 pm »

Quote from: Sir Harvest Fields on January 7, 2012, 11:03:12 pm

Isnt it Laurel and Hardy mate?

Fuck off you know what I mean! Stan Laurel, Oliver Hardy. Gets mixed up every now and then. Now shush and behave, ok?

And Could He Play · « **Reply #544 on:** January 7, 2012, 11:24:06 pm »

did you get that pm Thomas?

RK7 · « **Reply #545 on:** January 7, 2012, 11:38:14 pm »

What have I been missing? F*ck the transfer thread, this is an Epic thread.

Barneylfc∗ · « **Reply #546 on:** January 7, 2012, 11:55:03 pm »

Quote from: robbie keane on January 7, 2012, 11:38:14 pm

What have I been missing? F*ck the transfer thread, this is an Epic thread.

Not a lot. I'm only in here once or twice a month

And Could He Play · « **Reply #547 on:** January 7, 2012, 11:55:55 pm »

done my fair share the last couple of days/nights. Just thought i'd share that, and i'm not married.

Slightly Less Mediocre Baron Bennekov · « **Reply #548 on:** January 8, 2012, 12:07:40 am »

Quote from: Bill Clinton on January 7, 2012, 11:55:55 pm

done my fair share the last couple of days/nights. Just thought i'd share that, and i'm not married.

If you're not married GTFO then! This is for us ball and chained up guys who need to moan and vent occasionally.

*PFFT* coming in here and being all smartarse like... Cheeky barsteward!

PS: Yes I did get the PM...

And Could He Play · « **Reply #549 on:** January 8, 2012, 12:39:26 am »

Quote from: Bennekov on January 8, 2012, 12:07:40 am

If you're not married GTFO then! This is for us ball and chained up guys who need to moan and vent occasionally.

*PFFT* coming in here and being all smartarse like... Cheeky barsteward!

PS: Yes I did get the PM...

i feel like i'm married, is that close enough?

timiano · « **Reply #550 on:** January 8, 2012, 03:53:58 am »

Quote from: Bill Clinton on January 8, 2012, 12:39:26 am

i feel like i'm married, is that close enough?

No.

Sir Harvest Fields · « **Reply #551 on:** January 8, 2012, 08:10:31 am »

Im still ' technically ' married. Not seen her for two years and still get to do her more than you bunch of ladyboy loving, dick tugging, under the thumb whining pansies. Now, grow a set and put your foot down. Its Sunday morning and as we all know its almost ritualistic that you get laid Sunday morning, have a bacon/sausage sarnie, massive dump then fuck off to the pub as the wife makes your Sunday roast. If this is not happening to you i suggest 2 things. 1:- Divorce the lazy cow. 2:- You are not really married, you are just a sad twat who plays Skyrim and thinks a poster of Kylie on your bedroom wall is akin to marriage you spotty fucker. Now, go get laid.

jaffod · « **Reply #552 on:** January 8, 2012, 11:29:41 am »

Quote from: Sir Harvest Fields on January 8, 2012, 08:10:31 am

Im still ' technically ' married. Not seen her for two years and still get to do her more than you bunch of ladyboy loving, dick tugging, under the thumb whining pansies. Now, grow a set and put your foot down. Its Sunday morning and as we all know its almost ritualistic that you get laid Sunday morning, have a bacon/sausage sarnie, massive dump then fuck off to the pub as the wife makes your Sunday roast. If this is not happening to you i suggest 2 things. 1:- Divorce the lazy cow. 2:- You are not really married, you are just a sad twat who plays Skyrim and thinks a poster of Kylie on your bedroom wall is akin to marriage you spotty fucker. Now, go get laid.

I'm going to the Asda on my own in a minute while the Mrs is in town spending my money, later on I will cook the tea while she sits on her arse watching 'Fat Families' or similar shite, then she'll go to bed about 9 because she 'feels tired' and I'll bang one out watching Babecast if I can stay awake long enough.
How's that sound?

Crosby Nick · « **Reply #553 on:** January 8, 2012, 11:32:45 am »

Quote from: jaffod on January 8, 2012, 11:29:41 am

I'm going to the Asda on my own in a minute while the Mrs is in town spending my money, later on I will cook the tea while she sits on her arse watching 'Fat Families' or similar shite, then she'll go to bed about 9 because she 'feels tired' and I'll bang one out watching Babecast if I can stay awake long enough.
How's that sound?

Sunday Bloody Sunday eh?

Billy The Kid · « **Reply #554 on:** January 8, 2012, 11:38:29 am »

Quote from: Bill Clinton on January 7, 2012, 11:55:55 pm

done my fair share the last couple of days/nights. Just thought i'd share that, and i'm not married.

Tugging your wire over on porn hub doesn't count Paul

Sir Harvest Fields · « **Reply #555 on:** January 8, 2012, 12:10:56 pm »

Quote from: jaffod on January 8, 2012, 11:29:41 am

I'm going to the Asda on my own in a minute while the Mrs is in town spending my money, later on I will cook the tea while she sits on her arse watching 'Fat Families' or similar shite, then she'll go to bed about 9 because she 'feels tired' and I'll bang one out watching Babecast if I can stay awake long enough.
How's that sound?

An admirable 3rd choice sir

And Could He Play · « **Reply #556 on:** January 8, 2012, 02:05:04 pm »

Quote from: Billy The Kid. on January 8, 2012, 11:38:29 am

Tugging your wire over on porn hub doesn't count Paul

ah ffs, thought i was in there.

Barneylfc∗ · « **Reply #557 on:** January 8, 2012, 09:30:42 pm »

Gonna go for twice in a week tonight. Seriously doubt it though. Only time that happens is on holiday

And Could He Play · « **Reply #558 on:** January 8, 2012, 09:34:16 pm »

Quote from: Barneylfc on January 8, 2012, 09:30:42 pm

Gonna go for twice in a week tonight. Seriously doubt it though. Only time that happens is on holiday

twice in a year for some on here, they wont like you.

Barneylfc∗ · « **Reply #559 on:** January 8, 2012, 10:26:54 pm »

That's that already out of the question

How the fuck can women start a blazing argument in the bath for fuck sake. Over something that hasn't even happened. She was moaning about me going to the city game at the end of the month, then the final/Derby next month, then a stag in April. Then started shouting about us never going anywhere. Even though we were looking for places to go only 3 fucking days ago.