Author Topic: Things that wind you up irrationally...  (Read 523645 times)

Offline Sir Harvest Fields

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Re: Things that wind you up irrationally...
« Reply #6040 on: December 5, 2011, 06:47:08 pm »
Tell you what I fucking hate about buses. When, for some unknown fucking reason, they decide "Hey let's not send the regular bus on that route today. Let's use this one"


It has not even half the fucking space of a regular bus, but still does the same route and tries to pick up the same amount of people. Any time I have ever gotten on one of these utter c*nts it's been like the busiest time of the day as well. So you're sitting there with an obese stinking wretch next to you, getting some other fat c*nt's fat arse pushed against your actual face every fucking time there's a bump in the fucking road. Then, oh then comes the fun part. The part where I have to get off at one of the earlier stops, so sometimes the bus is still packed and I have to make my way down the aisle literally squeezing myself through the folds of some fucking whale of a Chelsea with her little whale kids. Then I have the temerity to be off balance, you know cos I'm trying to fit through a space you could barely get oxygen through, and some old c*nt gives me a dirty look. The kind of look that says "He wouldn't have done that in my day." Well you're right I wouldn't have. I'd already be dead from tuberculosis in your day you fucking ancient prick. Can't you fucking see what I'm up against here? Literally up against? It's fucking vile. It's sweating chip fat and screaming cuss words at it's c*nt fucking kids, imploring them as to why they are lacking in the manners to move out of my way. Well let me take a wild fucking guess as to why they don't have manners you loud-mouthed, ugly, stinking fucking arse of humanity. It might be because instead of teaching your kids manners you chuck a plate of turkey twizzlers and Farmfoods own brand chips in front of them and tell them to shut the fuck up cos Hollyoaks is on, then you sat your fat arse on your depressed sofa and shovel ladelfuls of Weight Watchers microwaveable meals into your fucking yawning chasm of a mouth, thinking it's doing you any good at all even though you think to yourself "Ach well it's Weight Watchers so I can have more" completely missing the fucking point because you are that fucking thick to begin with. And if those kids dare to make a sound while your programs are on, then God help their little red-raw arses. Yet more kids growing up without manners being taught that violence is the answer to your problems. You fucking odious, maladjusted, shit get the fuck out of my way so I can get off this atrocity of a bus and out into the fresh air where I can't feel every individual scent receptor in my nose crying in agony at your fucking vile stench.

That's what I hate about buses.

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Offline Dr Manhattan

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Re: Things that wind you up irrationally...
« Reply #6041 on: December 5, 2011, 07:00:03 pm »
Went to the cinema on my own back in 1991. When I got in there I noticed some queg was sat in my favourite seat (right in the middle of the cinema) with this sasquatch. Couldn't fucking believe it. But there was no way I was letting him get the better of me.

So I sat down next to the fucker and to my surprise he smelt exactly like marzipan. I couldn't contain myself, so I started feeling him up. Just running my hand delicately up and down his leg like, then smelling my fingers to get that Mr Kipling's Battenburg aroma wafting in to my nostrils. He gave me the come on. You know, that look that says "I'm well up for some sticky bum pocket fun, but we'll have to be careful because I'm with Harry and the Hendersons right now". I let my leg caress his leg for the entire movie, while beating myself off in a frenzy with my other hand. I think he enjoyed the show.

When the movie had finished he tried to have a pop at me for some reason, so I wellied the fucker up and down the aisles of the cinema while the sasquatch watched.
I trust the King, but if we lose a few more on the trot now - he may have to step aside, and we have to purchase another manager in the middle of the season. If we are relegated, this could be the end of our ambitions to win any title the next 100 years.

Offline Gobias Industries

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Re: Things that wind you up irrationally...
« Reply #6042 on: December 5, 2011, 07:01:31 pm »

Offline rafathegaffa83

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Re: Things that wind you up irrationally...
« Reply #6043 on: December 5, 2011, 07:29:28 pm »
Parents who let their kids play in the hallways of apartment buildings at all hours. Rather than letting their kids release some energy and play in the outside playground located in the building's courtyard during the day, the parents in the apartment across from us, let their kids (the oldest is 4) run around the hallways anywhere from 8 to 10 pm at night before they go to bed. I caught the one kid riding his bike down the hallway at 10pm last week on a school night with the Dad being a good 20-30ft away from him, as the kid almost ran into me. We've complained, but I don't think the main office has done anything.

Secondly, apartment buildings with underground parking who don't have enough parking for their tenants. My girlfriend and I pay for a spot in our building. But there aren't enough spaces in the reserved tenants section, so they have us in a visitors' wing of the garage. Problem is any fucker who gets let it in by a tenant can park there on the weekend, as the building's office staff is closed on the weekend, so nobody checks. Take last night for instance. We came back from her parents house, a four hour drive away in a horrendous rainstorm, get into the garage around 8pm on a Sunday night and there's not one fucking spot down there. My girlfriend ended up parking on the street, worried that something would happen to her car, which contains equipment for her work worth a few thousands dollars. I ended up having to go down to the garage every hour to look for a spot until I found one close to midnight.

Toilet cubicles at work and people who do not follow etiquette....
 

To follow on from this, people who use bathrooms as a personal conference room.

At the university I previously worked at, the main building had four floors. Our office was on the second floor, which also had a student commons and a bunch of classrooms on the same level. Naturally, the men's bathroom were destroyed by around 9am and as there were only two stalls and two urinals in the only bathroom on that entire floor, there was sometimes a queue. Although I technically started at 8:30, I got to my office around 7:45-8, giving myself another time for traffic or if I had to use the facilities after a long commute. The best bathrooms to use were located on the 4th floor, simply because nobody really used them until around 9, they were often vacant throughout the day and weren't full of piss stained seats and unflushed turds.

But what used to drive me nuts were the days when you'd get there at 7:45 in the morning, climb the stairs up to the 4th floor and there would be a bunch of students using it as like a personal conference center, carrying on conversations as one would stand in the corner by the sink, while one took a piss in the urinal or a shit in one of the stalls.  Why the hell do people need to follow each other into a bathroom to carry on a fucking conversation? Surely it can wait a few minutes.

Go shopping out of your own area, about 40 miles away to be precise. Buy yourself some new gear, rather happy and all that and you come home.

Take everything out of the bags and go to hang them up then realise the stupid dickhead from behind the counter somehow manages to leave the security tag in the back of my new top. How the fuck did I get through the detectors on the door without it going off if that is what it is there for and if by somehow they did switch it off or whatever the fuck they do, did they not remove the bastard thing?

Phone them up, "just come in and we can remove it or send it in the post and we will get it mailed back to you in a few days". Yeah thanks!


This happened to me once.


- Uninformed retail employees who waste your time. Here's a recent example. A few weeks ago I bought a PS3 that came in a bundle with a free game. When I opened the box at home, the game wasn't there. So I phoned Best Buy and told them my issue, explaining everything in full. I was told just bring in your receipt and we'll give you the missing game. I get there and then get told to talk to an employee in the games section, who will grab a copy of the missing game from the shelf. However, he proceeds to tell me I have to come back with EVERYTHING: the console, the boxes, all the equipment, despite the fact my receipt clearly says I had that particular bundle, as he says he needs to check the console and the box. The original employee I talked to on the phone, then tells me in the store that she wasn't aware of what bundle I was talking about in the first place and had assumed that was the proper procedure. Then when I return to the store with the entire package, after spending close to an hour and a half commuting back and forth,  the games section employee who told me to bring everything back, opens another bundle box, finds the game I was missing, looks at my receipt again and dumps it in the box I brought in without even checking the contents without comment. Why on earth was it necessary for me to do all that, if he wasn't even going to look in the box when I had the receipt?
« Last Edit: December 5, 2011, 07:31:11 pm by rafathegaffa83 »

Offline shockwave_dave

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Re: Things that wind you up irrationally...
« Reply #6044 on: December 5, 2011, 08:23:11 pm »
Went to the cinema on my own back in 1991. When I got in there I noticed some queg was sat in my favourite seat (right in the middle of the cinema) with this sasquatch. Couldn't fucking believe it. But there was no way I was letting him get the better of me.

So I sat down next to the fucker and to my surprise he smelt exactly like marzipan. I couldn't contain myself, so I started feeling him up. Just running my hand delicately up and down his leg like, then smelling my fingers to get that Mr Kipling's Battenburg aroma wafting in to my nostrils. He gave me the come on. You know, that look that says "I'm well up for some sticky bum pocket fun, but we'll have to be careful because I'm with Harry and the Hendersons right now". I let my leg caress his leg for the entire movie, while beating myself off in a frenzy with my other hand. I think he enjoyed the show.

When the movie had finished he tried to have a pop at me for some reason, so I wellied the fucker up and down the aisles of the cinema while the sasquatch watched.


:lmao

Beat me to doing something similar!

Offline Slightly Less Mediocre Baron Bennekov

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Re: Things that wind you up irrationally...
« Reply #6045 on: December 5, 2011, 09:08:11 pm »
Diving footballers... :no

I hate Drogba for it. I hate C. Ronaldo for it. But tonight Suarez has dived a few times and has moaned afterwards because the ref didn't give a free kick. Winds me up to the extend the missus told me to put a lid on it.

I'm NOT trying to begin a pro/con Suarez debate in here so please do not turn it into that as it might get the thread locked.

I'm just saying: Diving footballers... :no

Offline 24/7

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Re: Things that wind you up irrationally...
« Reply #6046 on: December 5, 2011, 09:45:35 pm »
Went to the cinema on my own back in 1991.....
:lmao oh my, I walked right into that one - fair play mate :wellin

And Dava - how dare you - I wouldn't be seen dead leaning up against a Biffa - they're not purple.

Offline louise0411

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Re: Things that wind you up irrationally...
« Reply #6047 on: December 5, 2011, 10:14:45 pm »
Tottenham fans, again. I have the misfortunate of knowing a lot of them and the ones on my Twitter timeline were tweeting stuff like come on Fulham and Yessss when they scored. Just fuck off.
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Offline Jezza789

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Re: Things that wind you up irrationally...
« Reply #6048 on: December 5, 2011, 10:38:24 pm »
People who rush to the front of the line at the airport to be the first on the plane. The plane leaves at the same time for everybody, so I don't know why you're pushing your way to the front.

Offline And Could He Play

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Re: Things that wind you up irrationally...
« Reply #6049 on: December 5, 2011, 10:39:18 pm »
People who rush to the front of the line at the airport to be the first on the plane. The plane leaves at the same time for everybody, so I don't know why you're pushing your way to the front.

brilliant post.
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Offline Carllfc

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Re: Things that wind you up irrationally...
« Reply #6050 on: December 5, 2011, 10:53:25 pm »
People who rush to the front of the line at the airport to be the first on the plane. The plane leaves at the same time for everybody, so I don't know why you're pushing your way to the front.

I know I dont understand it when you already have allocated seats.

Offline Sinead7

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Re: Things that wind you up irrationally...
« Reply #6051 on: December 5, 2011, 11:14:49 pm »
The fucking woodwork.

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Offline Sinead7

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Re: Things that wind you up irrationally...
« Reply #6052 on: December 5, 2011, 11:15:27 pm »
I know I dont understand it when you already have allocated seats.

Only the rich types have allocated seating us mere mortals have to make do with easyjet's sit where you please policy.
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Offline Carllfc

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Re: Things that wind you up irrationally...
« Reply #6053 on: December 5, 2011, 11:21:00 pm »
Only the rich types have allocated seating us mere mortals have to make do with easyjet's sit where you please policy.

Sorry I should have just mentioned long haul flights.  ;)

Offline Sinead7

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Re: Things that wind you up irrationally...
« Reply #6054 on: December 5, 2011, 11:28:40 pm »
Sorry I should have just mentioned long haul flights.  ;)

Belfast-Liverpool is 25 Minutes so we don't need to worry about leg room!!
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Offline Dr Manhattan

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Re: Things that wind you up irrationally...
« Reply #6055 on: December 5, 2011, 11:39:05 pm »
:lmao oh my, I walked right into that one - fair play mate :wellin

You're my favouritest mod.
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Offline Kuks

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Re: Things that wind you up irrationally...
« Reply #6056 on: December 6, 2011, 12:57:42 am »
I saw a rage comic that perfectly explains another thing that winds me up


Offline Anywhichwayicant

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Re: Things that wind you up irrationally...
« Reply #6057 on: December 6, 2011, 03:07:15 am »
If you do not trust your partner, you shouldn't be in a relationship. It really couldn't be any simpler.

Offline astowell1

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Re: Things that wind you up irrationally...
« Reply #6058 on: December 6, 2011, 03:35:29 am »
Fucking super fans.  Jeez, nothing short of dictators.

Offline jaffod

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Re: Things that wind you up irrationally...
« Reply #6059 on: December 6, 2011, 07:20:58 am »
People who phone you on your mobile and only let it ring 5 or 6 times before hanging up. Give us a fucking chance eh? Not everyone walks around with it glued to their fucking ears.

Offline And Could He Play

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Re: Things that wind you up irrationally...
« Reply #6060 on: December 6, 2011, 08:51:42 am »
people who never answer their mobiles. Seriously.
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Offline Enemy

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Re: Things that wind you up irrationally...
« Reply #6061 on: December 6, 2011, 09:57:11 am »
Fucking work colleagues today. Chatting for the last hour about fucking shite factor, turning on some shitty christmas tunes. It's fucking ages away and all these songs are shit, I fucking hate them. I hate them with a passion.

So glad I took a diazepam this morning or I'd be proper livid.

Fucking hate this shit.
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Offline Enemy

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Re: Things that wind you up irrationally...
« Reply #6062 on: December 6, 2011, 09:58:58 am »
people who never answer their mobiles. Seriously.

I refuse to answer my phone about 75% of the time. I can't stand it. Just because you want to speak to me doesn't mean I'm dropping whatever I'm doing and speaking to you. I don't go round peoples houses and shout 'LET ME IN, STOP WHAT YOU'RE DOING, I WANT YOUR ATTENTION' until they let me in their house so I don't see the difference between that and making people answer their phone.

I'm a bit grumpy though, some would say.
Enemy, at that time, and now, I cant think of anything good to say about her. She's still being a c*nt

Offline Roady

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Re: Things that wind you up irrationally...
« Reply #6063 on: December 6, 2011, 10:02:42 am »
them stupid fold up bikes.The ones with the small wheels that makes everyone who rides one look like they are in a circus.Stop bringing them onto a packed train you bunch of muppets.Seriously.Yes they fold up but they fold up to the size of a bloody suitcase and create havoc around you.To top it all off you look like a complete and utter gobshite riding one.Leave them at home.Better still dont get one in the first place.Oh and whilst im on the case of the morning commute.People who eat on trains..You can piss right off too.Why do you have to eat so loudly.close your mouths.tits.
« Last Edit: December 6, 2011, 10:05:21 am by Roady »
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Offline Chinbits

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Re: Things that wind you up irrationally...
« Reply #6064 on: December 6, 2011, 10:04:11 am »
People saying 'bless you' after I sneeze, especially if I don't know them. Why don't you say something everytime a noise comes out of my body?
Hold a powerful magnet against your stomach and then run it up your body until it's under your chin.


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Offline Roady

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Re: Things that wind you up irrationally...
« Reply #6065 on: December 6, 2011, 10:04:37 am »
I refuse to answer my phone about 75% of the time. I can't stand it. Just because you want to speak to me doesn't mean I'm dropping whatever I'm doing and speaking to you. I don't go round peoples houses and shout 'LET ME IN, STOP WHAT YOU'RE DOING, I WANT YOUR ATTENTION' until they let me in their house so I don't see the difference between that and making people answer their phone.

I'm a bit grumpy though, some would say.

in fairness thats a good shout.I have a mobile but rarely use it to be honest.Only really have it so my mum can get in touch if shes had a fall or whatever.BUt i hate the thing.People know where they can find me should they need me.If its important they can leave a message and when ive the time i will listen to it and see if it warrants a reply
Giant sponges. That is the answer for flooding.

Offline Enemy

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Re: Things that wind you up irrationally...
« Reply #6066 on: December 6, 2011, 10:08:08 am »
in fairness thats a good shout.I have a mobile but rarely use it to be honest.Only really have it so my mum can get in touch if shes had a fall or whatever.BUt i hate the thing.People know where they can find me should they need me.If its important they can leave a message and when ive the time i will listen to it and see if it warrants a reply

Yay, somebody agrees. People know where I live, they can come and see me if they want to just waste time chatting shit. But they better make an appointment by text first otherwise I won't answer the door. At least with texts you can reply to them at your leisure and decide to leave them be for a while etc. Much better method of communication.
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Offline Sir Harvest Fields

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Re: Things that wind you up irrationally...
« Reply #6067 on: December 6, 2011, 10:12:29 am »
You miserable, lazy , feministic, chav loving , moaning, septic, old cow. Have you got electricity in your cave yet? ;)
"Woe to you, Oh Earth and Sea, for the Devil sends the beast with wrath, because he knows the time is short...Let him who hath understanding reckon the number of the beast for it is a human number, its number is Six hundred and sixty six."

Offline Enemy

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Re: Things that wind you up irrationally...
« Reply #6068 on: December 6, 2011, 10:19:31 am »
You miserable, lazy , feministic, Chelsea loving , moaning, septic, old cow. Have you got electricity in your cave yet? ;)

I lived without electricity for 6 months last year actually.

I do not have heating in my current house though. Last night even my eyelids were cold. I think I'm going to start sleeping in a balaclava, last night I finally dozed off with a wooly jumper over my face. :lmao
Enemy, at that time, and now, I cant think of anything good to say about her. She's still being a c*nt

Offline Jimmy Conway

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Re: Things that wind you up irrationally...
« Reply #6069 on: December 6, 2011, 10:32:59 am »
I lived without electricity for 6 months last year actually.

I do not have heating in my current house though. Last night even my eyelids were cold. I think I'm going to start sleeping in a balaclava, last night I finally dozed off with a wooly jumper over my face. :lmao

Makes a change from the bag eh?

Offline Enemy

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Re: Things that wind you up irrationally...
« Reply #6070 on: December 6, 2011, 10:38:31 am »
Makes a change from the bag eh?

Well played.
Enemy, at that time, and now, I cant think of anything good to say about her. She's still being a c*nt

Offline Enemy

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Re: Things that wind you up irrationally...
« Reply #6071 on: December 6, 2011, 10:38:58 am »
I would have a somewhat whitty retort but the diazepam but kicked in.
Enemy, at that time, and now, I cant think of anything good to say about her. She's still being a c*nt

Offline Roady

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Re: Things that wind you up irrationally...
« Reply #6072 on: December 6, 2011, 10:44:23 am »
Yay, somebody agrees. People know where I live, they can come and see me if they want to just waste time chatting shit. But they better make an appointment by text first otherwise I won't answer the door. At least with texts you can reply to them at your leisure and decide to leave them be for a while etc. Much better method of communication.

completely agree.Thing is my mates are well aware where i stand on the issue of mobiles.If they want me they send me a txt generally and I will get back to them when /if needed.If you want to have a chat with me or a catch up by all means pop your head in for a brew or whatever, but dont call me i wont answer.I preferred it when youd arrange a night out over a cup of tea in someones gaff on the sunday for the following weekend.Could gurantee everyone going out would be in the pub for a certain time..if you werent there you werent coming, end of.None of this txting or calling on your mobile the same night at 11pm or whatever trying to locate you.If you were late youd ahve to go round the sual bars etc trying to find people.No excuses.Nowadays
Giant sponges. That is the answer for flooding.

Offline LiverLuke

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Re: Things that wind you up irrationally...
« Reply #6073 on: December 6, 2011, 10:56:20 am »
it annoys me if someone calls me and i dont answer cos im in a lecture or im busy or something and they continue to ring another 8 times, im clearly not gonna pick up just be patient and leave a voicemail or something.

Offline SamAteTheRedAcid

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Re: Things that wind you up irrationally...
« Reply #6074 on: December 6, 2011, 11:06:09 am »
completely agree.Thing is my mates are well aware where i stand on the issue of mobiles.If they want me they send me a txt generally and I will get back to them when /if needed.If you want to have a chat with me or a catch up by all means pop your head in for a brew or whatever, but dont call me i wont answer.I preferred it when youd arrange a night out over a cup of tea in someones gaff on the sunday for the following weekend.Could gurantee everyone going out would be in the pub for a certain time..if you werent there you werent coming, end of.None of this txting or calling on your mobile the same night at 11pm or whatever trying to locate you.If you were late youd ahve to go round the sual bars etc trying to find people.No excuses.Nowadays

Life was so much better before mobiles made everyone capable of changing plans at the last minute.

If I say, 'Meet me in the Placa de Catalunya Saturday night at 10' on Friday, is it too much to expect someone to be there on Saturday? A mere 24 hours later?

People just can't do it anymore - it's like the constant need to look for something better. 'Yeah I know we planned to go to X but Y is at Z and he's got V with him' - why didn't you just fucking tell Y and V that we're at fucking X and that's that?

It's like my mate Frank, when he's on pills at a festival, he's like 'Got to see this band', drags you there, 'nah they're shit let's go see these at this stage instead' - before you know it you've walked 50 miles in the mud and seen ten minutes of ten different bands' sets, at ten different stages, none of which you gave time to get into. Kinell.

If I say band praccy on Tuesday night, the week before, say, I get really really fucked off when the text goes round from bandmates Tuesday morning with people going "What night we rehearsing this week, can't do tonight". Fuck off.
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Offline Kuks

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Re: Things that wind you up irrationally...
« Reply #6075 on: December 6, 2011, 11:09:39 am »
If you do not trust your partner, you shouldn't be in a relationship. It really couldn't be any simpler.
I trust her and love her from the bottom of my heart but she keeps stealing the blanket :p

Offline Scud02

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Re: Things that wind you up irrationally...
« Reply #6076 on: December 6, 2011, 12:55:27 pm »
My housemates being dirty/lazy and not doing chores, cleaning the bathroom, doing their dishes, mopping or vacuuming, all left to me  :no
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Re: Things that wind you up irrationally...
« Reply #6077 on: December 6, 2011, 01:00:18 pm »
My housemates being dirty/lazy and not doing chores, cleaning the bathroom, doing their dishes, mopping or vacuuming, all left to me  :no
Easy to get wound up about.
In a shared house we ended up getting a cleaner in a couple of hours a week to do the communal areas. May be worth considering. If they like living in squalor then...?

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Re: Things that wind you up irrationally...
« Reply #6078 on: December 6, 2011, 01:05:42 pm »
the bitch opposite me is going to get a twatting if she don't stop shovelling gargantuan amounts of food down her face then proceed to eat with her gob open.
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Re: Things that wind you up irrationally...
« Reply #6079 on: December 6, 2011, 01:09:02 pm »
My housemates being dirty/lazy and not doing chores, cleaning the bathroom, doing their dishes, mopping or vacuuming, all left to me  :no

We resorted to getting a cleaner in. £22.50 a week between 4 of us and it solves the issue. Or you could just put everything they leave lying around in their beds.
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