Just a quick 'un to say if I make it to January the 5th, that's six months with no alcohol
And this is a heavy season, but I'm thinking of it in terms of my "streak". I'm proud of myself, it's the CBT and discipline, and yeah I've been bored off my nut at times, and I still have dark thoughts - usually at night - but things are calmer.
It's no comparison for me really. No bevvy, but I've lost half a stone, I am usually sleeping really well, and I'm flying at work
And the lass, she has been great, just sees the change in me and keeps me going
And I go out with mates, I've ordered 0% German beer as an Xmas treat for meself. I can go to a pub and drink anything but alcohol and still have fun. So it's really like all the stuff I might have feared is just, like the depression thoughts, not reality.
I don't think knocking the ale on the head was a silver bullet, but it has made a big difference.
I care more about the six months milestone than I do about, like.. this is why I'm not drinking: Say I had one. And it was just a drink. And it wouldn't affect me, I wouldn't be merry off that. So why bother?
So I'm building a streak. August 5th - ?
I do have to vouch for CBT. I'm in control. And that's the thing that keeps it all going really - once you're doing well, you learn to trust yourself; I'm unhappy sometimes, who isn't? There's nothing wrong with being unhappy.
Unless another factor is in the way, you can often control your reaction to things. And out there, in the world, in your reality, that's what matters the most. I can't stop things occuring to me, though I can control what I do next.
Seeing me dad boxing day. It might still be tough. He probably won't remember me. But that's just par for the course with alzheimers. Really, it's just another duty. Stick it on the bill!