Topic: Struggling with depression

[Maggie May]

Marvellous news Red. 

And this:

I feel much calmer and at peace with myself, [/quote/]

is best of all.  I cannot say how delighted I am. 

As for the rest mate.  Enjoy each moment and take each day at a time. 

[John C]

Good signs them RB, stay focused mate.

[Drinks Sangria]

Wanted to say thanks for the advice I'd received in here a while back about my cousin. For those who can't recall, she was in an extremely fragile state due to pressures of home life and horrendous bullying at school. She's now seeing CAHMS and got safety measures in place at school so that she can feel safe and get on with her life. The therapy has begun and it seems to already be yielding results. There's still a long way to go, but there's actually light at the end of the tunnel for her now.

[Maggie May]

Excellent news mate.  Delighted for her and you. 

[Red Beret]

Great news to hear. 

[surfer. Fuck you generator.]

Yeah I remember the issue, good to hear Drinks.

[please, I have my reasons for it but...]

Social life being a waste? Check.
No job? Check.
Feeling low, don't want to eat, and have no motivation to do anything? Check.

There must be a reason why I wake up in the morning, even the joy of seeing us thrash the Mancs at their place felt short lived with me. I had a combined 8 hours of interview with a company, you'd think after that much time, meeting with the directors down to the potential colleagues, you'd get a reply out of them. Monday will be 2 weeks since I did this interview and they seem to be avoiding my calls & e-mails. No motivation to do anything, and how long will I spend the rest of my time in the States talking to the next person I meet in the pub. I don't know what to do right now.

[Resurrected]

First thing I'd do is send an email to the ex explaining exactly how you feel - that you want to be back in a proper relationship - and what you propose you could do differently to make that work (I'd suggest that to make it work you need to move back to wherever she is) . Explain how her cutting ties has been a wake up call for you in terms of how much your relationship still means to you. It sounds to me as if perhaps she was keeping in touch with you in the hope that you'd sort your head out and get back with her, but six months down the line with no change in the situation she's decided to move on with her life. It may well be too late to get her to change that decision but I think it is worth you checking exactly how she feels. If she doesn't respond positively then you have to respect her wishes and just as importantly do the best thing for yourself which is delete her number/Facebook/emails/pictures etc and do your best to start afresh. It'll take time but if you get rid of all the things that could prompt you to think of her you'll find it gets easier to concentrate on the present and future.

I love what you've written but i feel that this part is bad advice.

If he does what you've suggested, then he will be giving himself hope - hope that i think will be false hope. If it's meant to be then it will be. His priority should be to sort himself out and get his life in order before he even considers inviting anyone new into it. Contacting this girl will only be a distraction while he waits for a reply and if she blanks him, it could be quite damaging. I fear that if he does contact her, there is only one logical outcome.

[macca888]

Social life being a waste? Check.
No job? Check.
Feeling low, don't want to eat, and have no motivation to do anything? Check.

There must be a reason why I wake up in the morning, even the joy of seeing us thrash the Mancs at their place felt short lived with me. I had a combined 8 hours of interview with a company, you'd think after that much time, meeting with the directors down to the potential colleagues, you'd get a reply out of them. Monday will be 2 weeks since I did this interview and they seem to be avoiding my calls & e-mails. No motivation to do anything, and how long will I spend the rest of my time in the States talking to the next person I meet in the pub. I don't know what to do right now.

Sounds really difficult for you at the moment Omar. That lack of motivation you're talking about just seems like you're struggling to cope with the sort of rejection you're facing a lot of at the moment. Easier said than done, I know, but maybe joining a gym and exercising with a regular routine might help on a couple of fronts. Not only will you get fitter, it'll help you start regaining your focus, and might have the added bonus of meeting some new people to bond with. Getting our of a slump is never easy, but the exercise might concentrate your mind on doing the basics like eating, renew a bit of your vigour, and meeting new people might just improve your social life too. If you aren't already doing it, it might be worth a try? At the very least you'll feel healthier and start eating properly again, which should raise your spirits a bit.

[AndyMuller]

Some fantastic advice from macca in here especially the exercise part, I always find if I'm annoyed a jog will calm me down and refresh my mind, exercise helps with a lot of mental strength.

[AndyMuller]

Just got back from the hospital today, my nan passed away at 12.45 this afternoon she was admitted to hospital over the weekend with some sort of shaking but suffered a heart attack early Monday morning so the hospital called me and all the family in. I was there all morning yesterday and they were medicating her, came back in the night and she was sitting up with the oxygen over her mouth chatting away like she would usually. Then I got a call this morning asking to come back in and she suffered another heart attack through the night and she then passed away this afternoon. She was 87 years old and I know she had a good life but it's hit me hard as she was my only nan who was alive through the 24 years of my life. I'm also due to go on holiday for a week to spain tomorrow but I just feel selfish if I went now and am seriously considering cancelling it although my family are telling me to go. I'm just devastated after the past 2 days and mentally and physically exhausted

[Chakan]

Sorry for your loss mate. My condolences.

[AndyMuller]

Sorry for your loss mate. My condolences.

Thanks mate much appreciated.

[Maggie May]

Just got back from the hospital today, my nan passed away at 12.45 this afternoon she was admitted to hospital over the weekend with some sort of shaking but suffered a heart attack early Monday morning so the hospital called me and all the family in. I was there all morning yesterday and they were medicating her, came back in the night and she was sitting up with the oxygen over her mouth chatting away like she would usually. Then I got a call this morning asking to come back in and she suffered another heart attack through the night and she then passed away this afternoon. She was 87 years old and I know she had a good life but it's hit me hard as she was my only nan who was alive through the 24 years of my life. I'm also due to go on holiday for a week to spain tomorrow but I just feel selfish if I went now and am seriously considering cancelling it although my family are telling me to go. I'm just devastated after the past 2 days and mentally and physically exhausted

Please accept my deepest sympathy.  I wouldn't dare to presume on what your Nan would say, but if this happened to one of mine, I'd insist they went.  Its not being selfish.  You have suffered a terrible blow.  You need to rest and recuperate otherwise you will become ill yourself.  You also need to build your strength for the funeral and the aftermath of sorting out her things.  Please go.  If you want to talk then give me a PM. 

[Resurrected]

I'm really sorry to hear your news Andy.

My grandmother died in 1999 and my father died a few months later. It hit my family quite hard. It didn't really affect me too badly because i look at things differently. The way i see it is that grief is quite selfish because it's always about how it affects us. We grieve for some-one because we miss them, not because they've passed on. Life is never easy anyway and we should appreciate more those who are still around.

Go on your holiday. Let others deal with the loss of a loved one in their own way. I suggest you deal with it in your own way too.

Whatever you do, my thoughts are with you and your family at this tough time.

[Cochise]

Sorry for your loss, Andy.

[AndyMuller]

Please accept my deepest sympathy.  I wouldn't dare to presume on what your Nan would say, but if this happened to one of mine, I'd insist they went.  Its not being selfish.  You have suffered a terrible blow.  You need to rest and recuperate otherwise you will become ill yourself.  You also need to build your strength for the funeral and the aftermath of sorting out her things.  Please go.  If you want to talk then give me a PM. 

Thanks so much Maggie May I appreciate it! I'm also now worried about my grandad as they were inseperable and it killed me watching him today absolutely hurt me. One other problem about going on holiday though is its a week long in Spain and I think the funeral will be in a weeks time or possibly Wednesday and I'm not home until early Thursday morning and it would kill me to miss that also.

I'm really sorry to hear your news Andy.

My grandmother died in 1999 and my father died a few months later. It hit my family quite hard. It didn't really affect me too badly because i look at things differently. The way i see it is that grief is quite selfish because it's always about how it affects us. We grieve for some-one because we miss them, not because they've passed on. Life is never easy anyway and we should appreciate more those who are still around.

Go on your holiday. Let others deal with the loss of a loved one in their own way. I suggest you deal with it in your own way too.

Whatever you do, my thoughts are with you and your family at this tough time.

Thanks for your kind words much appreciated

Sorry for your loss, Andy.

Thank you Cochise.


I'm just not feeling like I want to do anything at all, my arl fella was strong throughout today but he went to bed and had a cry on his own so I need to be there for him as much as possible.

[Red Beret]

So so sorry mate.  I never really knew my grandparents, but since I went back to church I've "adopted" a few grannies around your nan's age.  Can't imagine your heartbreak. 

[rafasredangel]

Sorry for your loss Andy, I'll be think of you and your family.

My Nan died 20 years ago and I still miss her.

[AndyMuller]

Appreciate the well wishes everyone means a lot you lovely people x

[Yolanderyolando]

This may soudn like a stupid question, but how do you know you are depressed ?

i mean how are you actually classified as depressed ?

I hate my job and over the last 9 months have had panic attacks and anxiety which ive never had in my life.

is that linked to depression ?

[evie]

This may soudn like a stupid question, but how do you know you are depressed ?

i mean how are you actually classified as depressed ?

I hate my job and over the last 9 months have had panic attacks and anxiety which ive never had in my life.

is that linked to depression ?

You hating your job and developing anxiety and panic attacks can definitely lead to depression. I think it's been that way in my case.
The biggest mistake I did though was that I got medicated right away before trying things like physical activites and a change in my eating habits. Obviously I don't know how you go about those things but even though I suggest you go and see someone about your anxiety, don't jump at the chance of being medicated because it's made things worse for me.

I've called in sick and stayed in bed all day because I feel so low, I dont have the energy to do anything at all, not enjoying the things I usually enjoy, I don't eat or drink properly, i don't get things done, I don't clean, I don't do the dishes, my apartment turns into a warzone, I get very angry and I don't want to have a conversation with ANYONE....

That's just a FEW things that happen to me when I have my really bad days. Luckily they don't come around as often these days.

Feel free to send me a pm if you need someone to listen    

[redbyrdz]

This may soudn like a stupid question, but how do you know you are depressed ?

i mean how are you actually classified as depressed ?

I hate my job and over the last 9 months have had panic attacks and anxiety which ive never had in my life.

is that linked to depression ?

Panic attacks and anxiety can be linked to depression, or they can exist 'on their own'. There is some good info on the NHS site and on Mind's site.
http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/depression/Pages/Introduction.aspx
http://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/depression/#.UzxSwlcjSv0

[thegoodfella]

Just got back from the hospital today, my nan passed away at 12.45 this afternoon she was admitted to hospital over the weekend with some sort of shaking but suffered a heart attack early Monday morning so the hospital called me and all the family in. I was there all morning yesterday and they were medicating her, came back in the night and she was sitting up with the oxygen over her mouth chatting away like she would usually. Then I got a call this morning asking to come back in and she suffered another heart attack through the night and she then passed away this afternoon. She was 87 years old and I know she had a good life but it's hit me hard as she was my only nan who was alive through the 24 years of my life. I'm also due to go on holiday for a week to spain tomorrow but I just feel selfish if I went now and am seriously considering cancelling it although my family are telling me to go. I'm just devastated after the past 2 days and mentally and physically exhausted

Just came back to the thread after a few days, so sorry for you loss mate.

[lauz]

Went to the dr last week because I've been depressed for around a month now, been referred to counseling, with no medications but my first session isn't until the 29th, already feel like I'm getting worse?!?

[Fiasco]

Went to the dr last week because I've been depressed for around a month now, been referred to counseling, with no medications but my first session isn't until the 29th, already feel like I'm getting worse?!?

Try and think positively. It's hard waiting for an appointment, I waited months for my CBT but it's important to try and focus on the fact you are going to be having sessions which will hopefully improve your situation.

For me, I'm struggling like a motherfucker today. I have been all week, but a heavy nights drinking coupled with lack of sleep has made my mood drop to a level I never want to experience again.

[L666KOP]

My wife was on medication for 18 months, and I didn't really get depression.

A very, very good friend of hers on her degree course was also depressed, but sought no medical help.

Rory Walsh, an Irish student from Downcastle  on my wifes nursing degree course was tearing himself apart because he only got 90% in one of his exams.

An incredible student, spent days helping those not as bright as himself. Yet thought so little of himself.

Amazing person, incredidible intelligence, and Boyband looks.

Took his own life last week.

What a fucking waste.

RIP.

**Edit**

Not LFC related, but had to share.
 

[Trotterwatch]

Been ok for a while, last few days I've felt like complete shit.  I couldn't watch most of our game as I was shaking - complete anxiety attack. 

[AndyMuller]

Just came back to the thread after a few days, so sorry for you loss mate.

Much appreciated mate thanks a lot

[Jonathan Hall ☆☆☆☆☆☆]

Just got back from the hospital today, my nan passed away at 12.45 this afternoon she was admitted to hospital over the weekend with some sort of shaking but suffered a heart attack early Monday morning so the hospital called me and all the family in. I was there all morning yesterday and they were medicating her, came back in the night and she was sitting up with the oxygen over her mouth chatting away like she would usually. Then I got a call this morning asking to come back in and she suffered another heart attack through the night and she then passed away this afternoon. She was 87 years old and I know she had a good life but it's hit me hard as she was my only nan who was alive through the 24 years of my life. I'm also due to go on holiday for a week to spain tomorrow but I just feel selfish if I went now and am seriously considering cancelling it although my family are telling me to go. I'm just devastated after the past 2 days and mentally and physically exhausted

Take the break if you can and celebrate her life. People are lucky to have grandparents,  only one of mine was alive when I was born and died by time I was two. I missed out, so raise a glass to her.

[Fiasco]

Struggling like fuck the past few days. Not really sure why, hasn't been a trigger. Went to see my GP just to offload a little because I was walking around with a huge cloud. Been told to go back in a couple of days regardless of my mood. Just got to try and get through until then I suppose.

[Kashinoda]

Hey guys, I've recently been struggling with life and university a bit and it started to get a bit too much. I've had some counselling sessions and was referred to a GP today who has given me some anti-depressants (SSRI).

All things considered this is going to seem like a strange question but, will taking SSRIs dampen my appreciation for football? Watching the games is about the only thing good in my life at the moment and I wouldn't want to jeopardise that, especially with so few games remaining.

[Snail]

Just like that, I'm the lowest I've ever been.

[Red Beret]

Hugs to you, Sian.  I've never been dumped but I know what it's like to be lonely and it's the worst feeling ever.  You have a whole forum of gents here who will gladly support you. 

Went out for a quiet drink last night.  Big mistake.  First off, it was a Friday - no such thing as a "quiet" drink.  Then there was all the happy couples together.

Hit me like a fuckin' freight train.  "I'm going to die alone.  I'm not a man's man.  I'm too soft, too nice, too cowardly, can't approach women etc etc".  This sudden, horrible stream of negative bile in my head.  The Strongbow tasted like sour vinegar - ironic as vinegar is supposed to be sour wine.  I just finished my pint and scrammed.

Think the past six weeks of really cutting back on the ale has made me more aware of how it affects me.

[AndyMuller]

As I'm still mourning the death of my nan (the funeral was last week) I'm finding myself being on a high when I'm around loved ones but when I'm alone I can be rock bottom missing her and thinking about everything that happened. Went back to work for two days last week aswell and couldn't focus whatsover was just glad to reach the weekend, I'm struggling to find the concept of life due to her being my first loss that was close to me and death is scary. Music is helping though

[Fiasco]

No better on. For our game today I sat there in silence. I panicked, I sweated, I was emotional. But for the actual game, I was almost distracted. I don't know what is to matter with me. When Phil scored I was so delirious I punched the wall in joy. Yet I think that was an obvious, natural reaction. But seriously, on a general note I was a lot less worried and anxious than I thought I'd be. And the one thing that has ALWAYS transcended my anxiety and depression is football. And today, despite it being a huge game, that was the case again. But only just. Only fucking just.

[Snail]

No better on. For our game today I sat there in silence. I panicked, I sweated, I was emotional. But for the actual game, I was almost distracted. I don't know what is to matter with me. When Phil scored I was so delirious I punched the wall in joy. Yet I think that was an obvious, natural reaction. But seriously, on a general note I was a lot less worried and anxious than I thought I'd be. And the one thing that as ALWAYS transcended my anxiety and depression is football. And today, despite it being a huge game, that was the case again. But only just. Only fucking just.

Completely get it, mate.

[Fiasco]

Completely get it, mate.

It's an odd feeling isn't it? Before the game my Mum came in with a few beers, she's a blue but she jumps when we score because she knows how happy it makes me and my Dad. I couldn't drink one. I just couldn't. Sterling scored? Amazing. But it should have felt so much better. He's scored a phenomenal goal there, one of the best goals any of our players have scored this season. But I just couldn't get up for it like I would. When Martin gets the second, it's similar. I'm delighted, I'm hugging my Dad, I'm waking up pensioners 4 blocks away. But there isn't that absolute delirium that there normally would be.


When it gets to 2-2, I don't care. I'd like to say that it was because of complete tranquility but that isn't true. As I said, I went fucking mental when we won but something was missing. I don't know what it was. I've watched the highlights, the interviews, MOTD, you name it. But if I had to say how complete it all was then I would not be able to. Maybe at a push 85, 90 percent. And that doesn't seem like a huge drop off, but for me it really is.

[Fiasco]

Take me back to the black hills, the black hills of Dakota. That song is playing incessantly.

[Snail]

I came close to hanging myself the other day. Round my neck and everything. It was only the thought of my dad losing his only child that stopped me.

I mean, if anything's going to stop you it's that. I'll be fine. And if that's not the case, I'll at least be a RAWK legend.

Holding out 'til we win the league, then I'll take it from there.