Topic: Alcohol Issues - The Carl van Riel Memorial Thread

[Maggie May]

Pull your fucking socks up and get back in control or I am sending Mags down to sort you OUT!!!

Aha.  Well done Jase.  Works every fucking time dunnit mate.  Heh Heh.   Result. 

[Corkboy]

I am working hard on trying to make sure i dont fuck up and take anyone with me etc. Im talking to her and we are getting there. She accepts ive a problem and although she isnt 'happy ' with it, she accepts it and is willing to help. I wont fuck this up, ive done my time down there and now its my time to stick two fingers up to the past. Naturally im aware that its a continuous battle, and like any battle there are ' moments '  Ill never win but ill fight the fucker all the way.

Every day winning, SHF. Every single night you put your head on the pillow without having fucked up that day is winning.

[Slightly Less Mediocre Baron Bennekov]

Carl you c*nt! I stay away from here for a couple of days and you go all drama queen on RAWK. C*nt I tell you!!

Now that I've gotten that out can I just say that apart from being a c*nt you're also a fucking inspiration mate! As RG said earlier life has thrown more shit at you than most people will get in an entire life and still you wipe it off and carry on smiling. To me it just shows you've got so much more in you than you realize yourself and if only you some day would understand the true power in you.... Carl, your woman has shown you genuine love by reading this thread and then telling you she wants to help you. That's a keeper I'd say! And the fact you showed her this thread after all your hesitation earlier which we've talked about. to that mate.

Jason - nice one!

Again this thread has made me tear up. The unity and coherence in here is simply amazing. Very few threads in here are worth taking part in - this is deffo one of them...

[Maggie May]

Jason - nice one!

So no word of my input then?  Right.  I'll remember that.

[Slightly Less Mediocre Baron Bennekov]

So no word of my input then?  Right.  I'll remember that.

Ahh my lovely Maggie I'm so sorry! How could I forget you after all you've done for your Grandling....

Your input is always right and well measured. In fact I can't recall ever disagreeing with you when it comes to Carl.

I'm sorry my lovely! 

[24/7]

So no word of my input then?  Right.  I'll remember that.

I am sulking too

[Slightly Less Mediocre Baron Bennekov]

I am sulking too

Oh for fuck's sake: I LOVE YOU ALL IN HERE!! And to all those who reacted to Carl's and RG's posts: You'll get extra pressies from Santa this Christmas!

[Rusty]

Carl - only just got in here to read all of the above but good to hear you have picked yourself up, and probably most importantly that you have felt able to open up to your lady. In the long run, if there is a future for the two of you together, then it will involve both of you fighting the booze, and not just you on your own. Just like if she got sick with some other illness, I'm sure you would be there for her to lean on, and it's great to know that she is there to help.

Good effort, keep it up, if you're in need of any inspiration/motivation then why not go back to the early stages of this thread when you were getting tasered and falling into bonfires to see how far you have come and why it's worth sticking with it

[Maggie May]

Ahh my lovely Maggie I'm so sorry! How could I forget you after all you've done for your Grandling....

Your input is always right and well measured. In fact I can't recall ever disagreeing with you when it comes to Carl.

I'm sorry my lovely! 

Well clearly you did.

I am sulking too

And you upset Jim as well.

Oh for fuck's sake: I LOVE YOU ALL IN HERE!! And to all those who reacted to Carl's and RG's posts: You'll get extra pressies from Santa this Christmas!

Too little too late.  The wounds go too deep.  And I bet you didn't mean it about Santa either.  *Sobs uncontrollably*

[TepidT2O]

Karl, if I can ask one thing.

Do you still think its the right thing to do to keep drinking some alcohol?

[Slightly Less Mediocre Baron Bennekov]

Karl, if I can ask one thing.

Do you still think its the right thing to do to keep drinking some alcohol?

Interesting question...

[jason42]

Karl, if I can ask one thing.

Do you still think its the right thing to do to keep drinking some alcohol?

I believe that what Carl wants is that sort of normal idea that he can come home from work after a hard day and have a couple of glasses of cider to help unwind and relax through the evening. Nothing excessive but just a couple.
He has used that 'target' as one of the mainstays in his battle to overcome the excessive drink because that is apparently what normal people do as they actually control their drinking.
I'm not sure if Carl could ever get to or want to get to a place where he didn't drink at all...

[Sir Harvest Fields]

Its a very fair question and i know pure abstinence is for the best all round scenario. As Jason has said , and i know you lot will laugh at this, but i just want to try an have a normal life. You know, a normal gf, a normal job, responsibilities that come with all that and yes, after a long hot day at work its now nice to sit in the sun in the front garden with a beer and smile. I still go to the pub but its gone from everyday to once or twice a week. Im sure, according to government health tips etc im drinking too much, but im working on getting it down even more. Keeping myself occupied with things has been a key factor so far.

We all in here know the shit ive done over the last few years , all i want to do now is recede into a vapour of normality and go un-noticed in everyday life ( with regards to drunken antics etc ) Im at a very large crossroads in my life and its one i never thought id get to to be honest. In all fairness i should be dead but im not, so im grateful for that

Its time to start again. As they say, life begins at 40 and thats at the end of this month


Carl.

[AndyInVA]

Its a very fair question and i know pure abstinence is for the best all round scenario. As Jason has said , and i know you lot will laugh at this, but i just want to try an have a normal life. You know, a normal gf, a normal job, responsibilities that come with all that and yes, after a long hot day at work its now nice to sit in the sun in the front garden with a beer and smile. I still go to the pub but its gone from everyday to once or twice a week. Im sure, according to government health tips etc im drinking too much, but im working on getting it down even more. Keeping myself occupied with things has been a key factor so far.

We all in here know the shit ive done over the last few years , all i want to do now is recede into a vapour of normality and go un-noticed in everyday life ( with regards to drunken antics etc ) Im at a very large crossroads in my life and its one i never thought id get to to be honest. In all fairness i should be dead but im not, so im grateful for that

Its time to start again. As they say, life begins at 40 and thats at the end of this month


Carl.

I totally agree with and understand this. Saying to yourself you will never have another drink is certainly an admirable stance. You can guarantee that you will never screw up again and your life will be a lot simpler. For me I found life was a lot less fun and frankly just unbearably dull. Since I quit for three years I went up and down with booze use but am now happily down to what i feel is normal use. I have three beers in my fridge which have been there since saturday night. I havnt wanted to drink them.
But its nice on the weekend to enjoy a beer or wine.
I accept that I do have a problem and will not have port of spirits in the house.

[Johnnyboy1973]

We all want normal use on a constant basis, but you have both proven that you dont remain at normal use?

And that's fine, just as long as you are both not suprised the next time you pass normal, to then return again to normal use.

[AndyInVA]

i dont wholly agree. If you quit for over two years then every trace of alcohol is out of your system and your body truly changes.

I just dont have the same urges as I had before. Plus acknowledging that spirits really lead to problems is an attempt to have some semblance of normality.

[Sir Harvest Fields]

We cant even define normal imo but ive a fair idea. Ive gone from severe excessive use to having a blip etc. Its a work in progress and im working on getting the blips to be more and more infrequent. Cant guarantee that, but if i had all the answers then this thread would have no need. Its different for everyone and i got to try and see what works for me.

[Johnnyboy1973]

But, that's only relevant if you are physically addicted like Carl, which I dont believe you were.

Your mental addiction will always be there.

My stance is clear.

Neither of you nor myself will have a normal relationship with alcohol. Yeah, you'll control it for a time, then it will blow whether that results in the culmination of your relationship like last time or Carl coming in telling us booze will always be his mistress.

This thread is great in that you can both look back over time and see the repeat button get pressed.

[Sir Harvest Fields]

' was ' physically addicted. I can also look back on this thread and see people take good strides forwards. Yes some take a couple backwards in the process but there is a lot of good things to be seen here, not JUST the repeat button.

[Johnnyboy1973]

But, there is still a lot of -

Lose control of alcohol consumtion and recognise it.

Convince myself that in future I will control it.

Rinse. Repeat.

Anyway, I'll leave ya to it. Good luck.

[Maggie May]

But, there is still a lot of -

Lose control of alcohol consumtion and recognise it.

Convince myself that in future I will control it.

Rinse. Repeat.

Anyway, I'll leave ya to it. Good luck.

Well you know, fella, there is only so much you can do.  And my Grandling has made massive, massive strides.  I am so very proud of him. 

[Crosby Nick]

Just had a read through of the last few pages - best of luck to you Carl, I really hope you can get through this and get the outcome that you want. Your missus sounds like a keeper! Good luck.

[Sir Harvest Fields]

I am not convincing myself of anything. Far from it. Same as any relationship, if you want something out of it you have to work at it. Thats what im trying to do. If it was a fortnightly blip then id be very concerned , it was a blip and one im as capable of having had i totally stopped drinking. No matter what i do with regards to drinking, total abstinence or try and maintain a better life with it in moderation , im always going to have to control it. Thats what im aiming for, i can see your thinking but im trying to be positive and work through it a bit at a time. Days gone by if id gone round the gfs mums house and she offered me a beer id have snapped her arm off. Ive had one in the last 3 months , that to me is a positive step towards trying to control myself.

[Red Genius]

So tell me - if someone has had 2 bottles of red wine and then gets a take out of 16 bottles of stella to themselves.... is that excessive? (i think i know the answer)

[Slightly Less Mediocre Baron Bennekov]

I would pass out after the 2 bottles of red wine, so my answer is very excessive.

[Sir Harvest Fields]

yes it is, but isnt that what kids do of a weekend etc. Context comes into it in a way if you get me.

[TepidT2O]

yes it is, but isnt that what kids do of a weekend etc. Context comes into it in a way if you get me.

No, context doesn't come into it.

Even if kids do do it, it's an awful lot to drink.

[Red Genius]

ahh what Carl means is it a regular thing.

No it's not - but you know what, right now i don't give a fuck. Ex tells me to swing for it, goes on a date, she tells me she's not interested, another girl i got it on with keeping me at arms length.... someone would think i'm a bad catch

I just get pished for a day or two and bury the shite for a little while, then deal with the after math.

[Pheeny]

ahh what Carl means is it a regular thing.

No it's not - but you know what, right now i don't give a fuck. Ex tells me to swing for it, goes on a date, she tells me she's not interested, another girl i got it on with keeping me at arms length.... someone would think i'm a bad catch

I just get pished for a day or two and bury the shite for a little while, then deal with the after math.

But that's the way most start.

[Red Genius]

But that's the way most start.

Start?

Oh mate, i've long since started, i sometimes make Carl look like a choir boy

[Slightly Less Mediocre Baron Bennekov]

Start?

Oh mate, i've long since started, i sometimes make Carl look like a choir boy

Kinell!! If Carl's a choir boy I'd love hate to read about your escapades...

[Red Genius]

Honestly, not worth talking about mate - there's nothing to be proud of here.

Anybody who can get 2 birds to tell him to fuck off in one one week isn't doing too great

[Pheeny]

Anybody who can get 2 birds to tell him to fuck off in one one week isn't doing too great

But that's for another thread or forum.  

[Red Genius]

But that's for another thread or forum.  

haha - yer a twat - i musta fallen asleep on my computer as it makes a gay bleeping sound when i type how do i make it stop?

[Red Genius]

Sorted now! no more bleeping bleeps Yeah am still i fuck nugget tho mate :/

[Sir Harvest Fields]

I was just looking at it from a different angle. I know ppl who can drink that and still not be pissed etc. I also know ppl who get pissed on a bottle of Carlsberg. Its excessive, imo , if its affecting you. We can go in a myriad of ways it ' could be ' affecting you but i meant its different for different people. Whats excessive to you is not excessive to others.

[Red Genius]

Its excessive mate - no two ways about it, i've topped up with 8 cans of carling.

I'm on a mission right now, and nowt is gonna help me :/

[AndyInVA]

Its excessive mate - no two ways about it, i've topped up with 8 cans of carling.

I'm on a mission right now, and nowt is gonna help me :/

of course its excessive

its not much a discussion is it

just get it out of your system then pick up the fucking pieces on the flip side

[Red Genius]

of course its excessive

its not much a discussion is it

just get it out of your system then pick up the fucking pieces on the flip side

Pretty much - for whatever reason i want to let it out, so i am going to.... tomorrow i have to put it all back together again

[AndyInVA]

Pretty much - for whatever reason i want to let it out, so i am going to.... tomorrow i have to put it all back together again

we've all been there

nothing anyone tells you right now will go anywhere

just stay safe and dont make any stupid phone calls