Author Topic: Alcohol Issues - The Carl van Riel Memorial Thread (Read 1027695 times)

tinner777 · « **Reply #520 on:** January 19, 2010, 04:12:40 pm »

Quote from: spen71 on January 18, 2010, 08:07:11 am

Well upto 4 weeks without a drink. I feel better physically but worse mentally .

spen, you going to any meetings?

spen71 · « **Reply #521 on:** January 19, 2010, 04:42:08 pm »

Quote from: tinner777 on January 19, 2010, 04:12:40 pm

spen, you going to any meetings?

I keep meaning to but never seem to get around to it. Classic alkie talk, making excuses.

tinner777 · « **Reply #522 on:** January 19, 2010, 04:49:01 pm »

try and find one tonight, lads there who know just how your feeling, its hard at first but you'll soon get used to going. Massive support and no finger pointing.

Sir Harvest Fields · « **Reply #523 on:** January 19, 2010, 04:55:58 pm »

Quote from: spen71 on January 19, 2010, 04:42:08 pm

I keep meaning to but never seem to get around to it. Classic alkie talk, making excuses.

yep it is. i made plenty of them. i even had an AA counsellor ring me to ask why i didnt go and i told him the truth. i was wasted.

as for me, im gonna get mashed tonight. was following my friend/Gf ( its a strange relationship ) on my bike and she hit a patch of diesel on a sharp corner and ended up writing her car off and making a mess of herself.

i know its a kop out but it scared the shit out of me and im a bag of nerves for some reason.i fully expect remonstrations but i cant sit here sober and think about what might have been. i need to sink away from reality for a night. sorry guys.

AndyInVA · « **Reply #524 on:** January 19, 2010, 04:56:17 pm »

Quote from: tinner777 on January 19, 2010, 04:49:01 pm

try and find one tonight, lads there who know just how your feeling, its hard at first but you'll soon get used to going. Massive support and no finger pointing.

I'm interested to knw what those are like and if its a good experience

in the states AA (alchoholics anonymos) is often court mandated and its full of people that dont want to be there or the wrong people are sent there by magistrates that dont understand the situation and what the poeple they send there should get out of it

it means a lot of AA groups are shite

tinner777 · « **Reply #525 on:** January 19, 2010, 05:02:26 pm »

harvest get on your guitar for a hour

jason42 · « **Reply #526 on:** January 19, 2010, 05:06:29 pm »

Quote from: Harvest Fields on January 19, 2010, 04:55:58 pm

yep it is. i made plenty of them. i even had an AA counsellor ring me to ask why i didnt go and i told him the truth. i was wasted.

as for me, im gonna get mashed tonight. was following my friend/Gf ( its a strange relationship ) on my bike and she hit a patch of diesel on a sharp corner and ended up writing her car off and making a mess of herself.

i know its a kop out but it scared the shit out of me and im a bag of nerves for some reason.i fully expect remonstrations but i cant sit here sober and think about what might have been. i need to sink away from reality for a night. sorry guys.

Hang in there fella.
Don't worry about what might have happened. You know what happened and your friend is fine. It was meant to happen like that.

And Could He Play · « **Reply #527 on:** January 19, 2010, 05:06:48 pm »

Quote from: Terry De Niro on January 19, 2010, 04:06:55 pm

Good to hear, fella.

Thanks mate.

spen71 · « **Reply #528 on:** January 19, 2010, 05:13:36 pm »

Quote from: AndyInVA on January 19, 2010, 04:56:17 pm

I'm interested to knw what those are like and if its a good experience

in the states AA (alchoholics anonymos) is often court mandated and its full of people that dont want to be there or the wrong people are sent there by magistrates that dont understand the situation and what the poeple they send there should get out of it

it means a lot of AA groups are shite

Over they are voluntary but the courts can also but it down as a court order.

I went to one last summer and did not go back. I felt out of place and it is very quasi-relgious

Brentieke · « **Reply #529 on:** January 19, 2010, 11:18:46 pm »

Seeing as this thread is our very own RAWK support group, I wanted to let everyone know that today marked the 5 year anniversary of my finnishing rehab.

I hope all you guys will build momentum and manage to kick your addictions and most importantly I hope I keep on this right track and continue to live a sober life. God bless all!

tinner777 · « **Reply #530 on:** January 19, 2010, 11:20:51 pm »

^well done

Rusty · « **Reply #531 on:** January 20, 2010, 12:33:21 am »

Quote from: And Could He Play on January 19, 2010, 04:01:04 pm

Stayed there 4 times in the last week, things are improving a lot. she has family down all week so i wont be there this week. Were getting on very well now though. Cheers for asking.

Just keep thinking about that, the fact that as you cut the booze out of life your family situation seems to be getting a lot better.

Also yes it is a great achievement to have cut down from 8 cans/night to only having that maybe twice a week - but see if for the next step you can get it down from 8 to 3 on the nights that you do drink.

If you can keep it to that level then that will be a major acheievement and personally I would say that most people wouldn't describe that as drinking too much (as long as it stays at that amount!!)

Anyway whatever you decide good luck with it!

spen71 · « **Reply #532 on:** January 25, 2010, 09:12:32 am »

Well go through another weekened and I am now at 5 weeks without a drink. I actually went the pub and had a can of ginger beer. everyone was asking me why I was not drinking and I said I was on the wagon.

My big test is coming up as I am off on my all-inclusive holiday on Wednesday. Hopefully my daughters running around everywhere will keep me from getting bored by being at sitting around the pool all day.

How is everyone else getting on?

Sir Harvest Fields · « **Reply #533 on:** January 25, 2010, 11:30:29 am »

nice one spen. thats great going. yea im sure you lil one will keep u going. im not doin bad i spose. cut down a load. not going to pub half as much. still a way to go but its getting there! fair few on here seem to be doin really well.

And Could He Play · « **Reply #534 on:** January 31, 2010, 11:52:10 pm »

Ok so as most of you know i have kind of sorted my problem out, was staying back in my babys mums again, thought we would get back together. anyway havent stayed there since last week, found out today she was out with someone last night. Devasted again isnt the word, and yes i'm drinking. Got off the ale for her, everything was perfect. some people are just evil. Got a baby to a fucking slut. sorry.

Sir Harvest Fields · « **Reply #535 on:** February 1, 2010, 07:11:34 am »

fuck me. sorry mate. thats a shitty thing to deal with. watch out for yourself if you are drinking. take it easy if you can and dont let it get you down too much. i remember finding out that my wife was shagging my brother behind my back. was drinking that made me angry enough to try and stab him and he ended up in hospital. try not to linger on the bad shit. still got your lil one

Rusty · « **Reply #536 on:** February 1, 2010, 07:25:22 am »

Quote from: And Could He Play on January 31, 2010, 11:52:10 pm

Ok so as most of you know i have kind of sorted my problem out, was staying back in my babys mums again, thought we would get back together. anyway havent stayed there since last week, found out today she was out with someone last night. Devasted again isnt the word, and yes i'm drinking. Got off the ale for her, everything was perfect. some people are just evil. Got a baby to a fucking slut. sorry.

Thats shithouse mate. Is there a mate that you can stay over with for a couple of nights maybe to help talk things out and also keep you on the straight and narrow to make sure nothing bad happens?

jason42 · « **Reply #537 on:** February 1, 2010, 07:45:31 am »

Quote from: And Could He Play on January 31, 2010, 11:52:10 pm

Ok so as most of you know i have kind of sorted my problem out, was staying back in my babys mums again, thought we would get back together. anyway havent stayed there since last week, found out today she was out with someone last night. Devasted again isnt the word, and yes i'm drinking. Got off the ale for her, everything was perfect. some people are just evil. Got a baby to a fucking slut. sorry.

I really think you have to have a proper sit down chat with your ex. There could be many reasons why she was out last night and not all of them are bad however bad it seems to you right now. Maybe she is testing you to see how you react when something bad happens....if you drink and fuck things up she knows she was right not to get back with you. If you hold it together (I fucking know it ain't easy) then maybe you pass the test.
Talk to her and find out what her intentions are...does she ever want to get back with you? Once you know the answer you can start to sort things out and get yourself together. You have to talk to her....

Byrnee · « **Reply #538 on:** February 1, 2010, 10:07:55 am »

Quote from: jason23 on February 1, 2010, 07:45:31 am

I really think you have to have a proper sit down chat with your ex. There could be many reasons why she was out last night and not all of them are bad however bad it seems to you right now. Maybe she is testing you to see how you react when something bad happens....if you drink and fuck things up she knows she was right not to get back with you. If you hold it together (I fucking know it ain't easy) then maybe you pass the test.
Talk to her and find out what her intentions are...does she ever want to get back with you? Once you know the answer you can start to sort things out and get yourself together. You have to talk to her....

Don't know you from Adam mate but I'd echo this - and even if the worst case scenario is true, and your ex made a mistake/ did something as a one off - the drinking is the worst thing you can do. And giving yourself the excuse that this is the root cause of your drinking just makes it worse. If your drinking is tied to your relationship then how can you truly be free of it? It'd mean every time you run into problems you'd be back on the ale. That's not healthy for you, her or your kid mate. Like I say I don't know you, but you're better than that.

Drinking solved no-one's problems. But it sure as hell caused a few.

spen71 · « **Reply #539 on:** February 4, 2010, 05:24:24 pm »

Well I am back from my all-inclusive holiday. Failed in my not drinking but did not get smashed. Back on the wagon today until the next time I go away.

Johnnyboy1973 · « **Reply #540 on:** February 4, 2010, 05:42:46 pm »

This is going to sound harsh but there are certain things you need to hear and should expect to if you come in this thread.

Quote from: And Could He Play on January 31, 2010, 11:52:10 pm

Ok so as most of you know i have kind of sorted my problem out

Ya think? Weren't we here on January 1st after you getting nicked, involving booze and this missus?

Quote from: And Could He Play on January 31, 2010, 11:52:10 pm

Got off the ale for her

Then you were bound to fail and will continue to fail until you do it for yourself. Also, did you use to tell her that? If so, it must have been a right burden for her.

Quote from: And Could He Play on January 31, 2010, 11:52:10 pm

Devasted again isnt the word, and yes i'm drinking.

It's just another excuse mate. Which is ok. But, just recognise it as that rather than trying to justify it.

In this thread, you will see references to enablers and this "relationship" is a huge one. It just results in you going on the piss and using it as a reason to justify going on the piss and again that is fine but if you are serious about tackling your drink problem it is crystal clear what steps you need to be taking.

Rusty · « **Reply #541 on:** February 4, 2010, 05:52:22 pm »

Quote from: spen71 on February 4, 2010, 05:24:24 pm

Well I am back from my all-inclusive holiday. Failed in my not drinking but did not get smashed. Back on the wagon today until the next time I go away.

Thats definitely a positive though mate. I dunno how you were before but there's certainly a lot of people where 1 drink turns into a 2 week bender, so if you've got to the stage where you can have some drinks without going off the rails then thats a great thing.

Only you know whether or not you can have booze and stay in control but either way it sounds like you've made great progress - good luck keeping it up!!

Sir Harvest Fields · « **Reply #542 on:** February 4, 2010, 06:00:20 pm »

johnnyboy is spot on. same applies to me. im no hypocrite. i have used excuses to drink. its sad but i guess thats what u do when u have a drink problem. either way, the fact he has made the effort is good. shows he can do it. just needs to get over the reasons that made him start. ie his missus. and yes, its easier said than done.

edit: just cos some straight forward answers and opinions are given dont mean we dont feel for you. its not easy and sometimes you need to be told what you dont want to hear i guess.

And Could He Play · « **Reply #543 on:** February 4, 2010, 11:00:50 pm »

Johnny thanks for your honest answers mate. Me and her are finished for good now, know its not a relationship thread but anyway i am gonna try for me now and not for someone else.

Johnnyboy1973 · « **Reply #544 on:** February 4, 2010, 11:09:03 pm »

Quote from: And Could He Play on February 4, 2010, 11:00:50 pm

Me and her are finished for good now

It's great news mate. Stick to it. That relationship (imo) was the root of your demise. Get access sorted, be strong and sort out a new life for yourself.

jason42 · « **Reply #545 on:** February 4, 2010, 11:15:53 pm »

Quote from: And Could He Play on February 4, 2010, 11:00:50 pm

Johnny thanks for your honest answers mate. Me and her are finished for good now, know its not a relationship thread but anyway i am gonna try for me now and not for someone else.

Keep it going mate.

And Could He Play · « **Reply #546 on:** February 4, 2010, 11:17:01 pm »

trying mate, nice one, been bladdering the ale since i found out but can't be arsed anymore it just makes me worse.

Walshy7 · « **Reply #547 on:** February 4, 2010, 11:19:51 pm »

Havent had a drink for two weeks, bloody boring

JLStretton · « **Reply #548 on:** February 5, 2010, 12:28:12 am »

The time has come for me to admit I have a problem with drink, been drinking loads for years, Drink 5 skol super and 8 cans of bud in a session, and do that 4 5 times a week, time has come for me to sort my life out.

And Could He Play · « **Reply #549 on:** February 12, 2010, 11:00:01 pm »

Hows everyone doing, ok i'm pissed now but i'm next to me bird. We have got it sorted once and for all after two years of murder. Were sorted now getting married next year and i'm the happiest person on earth, ok defeats the object cos i'm pissed but first time in two weeks and we have been out. I'm allowed to drink once every two weeks and to be be her its worth it. soppy shit i know.

JLStretton · « **Reply #550 on:** February 12, 2010, 11:09:58 pm »

I had a lapse earlier in the week, but it's friday and I'm not drinking. Glad you are happy mate, and good luck with the marriage next year

jason42 · « **Reply #551 on:** February 13, 2010, 09:05:52 am »

Quote from: And Could He Play on February 12, 2010, 11:00:01 pm

Hows everyone doing, ok i'm pissed now but i'm next to me bird. We have got it sorted once and for all after two years of murder. Were sorted now getting married next year and i'm the happiest person on earth, ok defeats the object cos i'm pissed but first time in two weeks and we have been out. I'm allowed to drink once every two weeks and to be be her its worth it. soppy shit i know.

Hopefully the two of you will put all this shit behind you and look forward in your relationship. You have to keep your drinking under control as it was this that made her lose interest last time.
I really hope that things work out for you both and for your little one and that you have a long and happy life together. Also you can now consider yourself banned from this thread - don't wanna see you in here no more OK?!!!!!

Sir Harvest Fields · « **Reply #552 on:** February 13, 2010, 11:04:04 am »

nice one.

glad you got it all sorted mate. but a celebratory piss up would be mandatory

me, i dont go out much anymore cos i cant afford it as i need to fix my bike so that helps. still drink but not until 6pm if at all. when i move back to where i came from ill be teaching again so that will curtail a lot of drinking cos i teach from 6pm till 10pm lol.

adwhite40 · « **Reply #553 on:** February 13, 2010, 11:10:41 am »

I have an alcohol issue, I have not got enough money to go out and get hammered tonight, if I want pertol money for work for the next two weeks!!!!

Decisions, decisions, decisions!

Welshred · « **Reply #554 on:** February 13, 2010, 11:42:18 am »

Quote from: adwhite40 on February 13, 2010, 11:10:41 am

I have an alcohol issue, I have not got enough money to go out and get hammered tonight, if I want pertol money for work for the next two weeks!!!!

Decisions, decisions, decisions!

Yeh. Completely not the issue people are discussing in this thread. It's not even funny coming in joking about this in a thread where people are discussing their alcoholic tendencies where they drink uncontrollably.

jason42 · « **Reply #555 on:** February 13, 2010, 12:36:42 pm »

Quote from: adwhite40 on February 13, 2010, 11:10:41 am

I have an alcohol issue, I have not got enough money to go out and get hammered tonight, if I want pertol money for work for the next two weeks!!!!

Decisions, decisions, decisions!

Fuck off!!!

Sir Harvest Fields · « **Reply #556 on:** February 13, 2010, 01:14:28 pm »

in a thread where ppl have come to tell ppl they hardly know all their problems because of drink, somewhere where they hope to get support ( and support has been offered in abundance ) and for you to come in and make light of that is a fucking disgrace in all honesty. would you have been so flippant had it been cancer? next time think before you type.

adwhite40 · « **Reply #557 on:** February 13, 2010, 01:16:15 pm »

Ok, i apologise at my unthought, immature response.

I didn't read through the thread and did not realise that people were talking about serious issues so I apologise and wish everyone on here who is going through hard times, good luck in beating the bottle!

Sorry again!

Sir Harvest Fields · « **Reply #558 on:** February 13, 2010, 01:29:25 pm »

no probs. just think next time

thanks for the message of support.

adwhite40 · « **Reply #559 on:** February 13, 2010, 01:34:03 pm »

Quote from: Harvest Fields on February 13, 2010, 01:29:25 pm

no probs. just think next time thanks for the message of support.

No problem! Sorry again!