My dad was diagnosed with cancer in February this year, and after battling very bravely against it he passed away at 1035 this morning. He went comfortably, peacefully and pain free which is a huge blessing and my mam, sisters and I were all there when he passed and were able to say goodbye.
We've spent most of the last 2 days in the hospital at his bedside, and he woke us all at 0315 this morning telling us he'd had enough, was ready to go even though he didn't want to, that he was sorry and that he loved us all. Even though he'd had enough, he still fought right until his last breath, and the chat we had with him in the early hours of the morning was the most lucid and comfortable he's been for the last 6 months, and we were all laughing and joking together which is an amazing last memory. The chat lasted for a very long time, and he went through all his affairs and what he wanted to happen after he died, including making sure we stopped all his benefits and pensions haha.
As he was in a little bit of pain towards the end, and was struggling to breath, the nurses decided to sedate him as otherwise he'd have been in distress and a lot more pain. Just before he died though he looked around the room to see if we were all there, and all ready for him to go, waiting for my sister to finish a phonecall to her husband and my other sister to get back from the toilet. We're all so pleased that he went on his own terms, when he wanted and how he wanted, instead of the disease taking him away from us.
The most amazing thing was happening though. During the final few hours he was nodding, smiling, waving and giving the thumbs up to someone/something in the corner of the hospital room where no-one was sitting. At one point he said "I want pork for supper". All of his mannerisms were extremely similar to those of my Granddads, who passed away 11 years ago, and we're convinced that my granddad was there in the room with us to come get him and look after him. That may seem strange to a lot of people, but we're absolutely convinced there was someone else in the room with us.
None of us know what we're going to do without him around, and this is the hardest thing I've ever had to go through in my life, and I'm really dreading the funeral in the next week or so. We're taking so much comfort in that he wasn't distressed or in pain, and we all know he'll never truly be gone and he'll be with us all forever!
RIP Dad. I love you so much!