Topic: Which inactive poster...

[rob1966]

I took that for granted. But Garstonite was the funniest fucker on here by a long way.

Grifter was hilarious

[Sarge]

Grifter was hilarious

That he most certainly was, a big bonkers too.

[John C]

Grifter, Garstonite, Mouth and Macca are huge absentees from the site.

[Sarge]

Grifter, Garstonite, Mouth and Macca are huge absentees from the site.

Yes 4 big losses, funny fuckers.

[TepidT2O]

Grifter, Garstonite, Mouth and Macca are huge absentees from the site.

Mouth disappeared from Twitter too. Hope he’s ok.
(Or just sane enough not to go on Twitter )

[Statto Red]

Yes 4 big losses, funny fuckers.

Yep i remember Mouth stitching up Carl aka Sir Harvest Fields big time & it was funny as fuck.

[BlackandWhitePaul]

Alan Forbes (Forbsie) was / is one of the good guys. 

[Sarge]

Alan Forbes (Forbsie) was / is one of the good guys. 

Good shout top lad him.

[rob1966]

i remember that one

i think he once said when he was proposing to his mrs he was that pissed when he got down on one knee he fell down an embankment

correct me if im wrong

He did

[Indonesian version lower on this page]

A good mate of mine contacted me last night and asked for some advice. The arse had dropped out of his world. The worst thing that could happen to a Red had happened. Here is the story I related to him, to try and blow away the clouds of his misfortune.

The year was 1987, the month September. The bluenoses had been crowned champions in May. Wooly & Mrs Wooly were living in the sleepy hamlet of Woolton Village. Little Wooly (Billy) was about to start his second year at school. After a hard days slog in the office (BICC) and a couple of quick slurps in the local on the way home, I arrived home to be greeted by "You better have a word with that son of yours".

This was not a rare greeting as Mrs Wooly often used the phrase "Wait till yer Dad gets home".

Me lad had obviously been crying, his face all red and his eyes all puffed out. I took the
lad in the kitchen cos it was obviously going to be a man's conversation.

"Whats up lad?" I asked.

"I've been thinking" offered the wee lad.

"Well that's a good start" I came back.

"All me mates in school" a long pause followed "Are .... are .... erm".

"Are what Lad, spit it out".

"Well .... they're Evertonians".

My heart missed a beat or two, what on earth was happening here, "YES?"

"Well I've been thinking ..... perhaps I could be an Evertonian"

My heart stopped, I couldn't believe my ears.

In the space of about three seconds, I thought, How am I gonna explain this to me old fellah? What will me mates say in work when they find out? What have I spawned? Can this be the Antichrist hiding in my son? What are they teaching him in this school ?

"WHAT?!!!" was all I could manage.

"Erm .... I ..... was .... thinking .... I .... could .... be .... an"

I stiffened. "Dont you dare use that word again in this house."

Little Wooly began to shake, but he stuck to his guns. It was my turn to stutter "But .... but .... well don't expect any more pocket money from me" was the best I could come up with.

I could see the lad was determined and nothing I could say would ever change his mind at this moment in time. So I sat on the couch with my head in my hands, Mrs Wooly made herself busy in the kitchen, my little girl sat next to me patting me on the knee, "Its ok Dad" she said.

The bottom was falling out of me world and all I could do was sit there mumbling back to her "You don't understand love".

The only thing for me to do was to take the dog for a walk (usual thing when losing composure). Walking 50 yards up the road I came to a pub; that was far enough, the dog was looking knackered. Sitting in a quiet corner sipping a pint of mild was always my way of sorting out problems and after a short while it came to me!

When I got back home Mrs Wooly was putting the tea on the table. The dog went back to the yard after its lengthy walk, half a bitter and a pack of crisps, while we ate our tea. I finished my tea first and left the table. I went up stairs into the lad's room and picked up his quilt and pillow and returned to the kitchen.

"Have you finished yer tea Lad?"

"Yes Dad."

"Right are you ready then?"

"What for?" he said.

"Well I've been doing a spot of thinking meself and if you're as determined as you seem to be to become ONE OF THEM, then there's only one thing for it. I opened the back door and whistled the dog, "Sam get in 'ere."

The lad looked at me with confused eyes. As Sam ran past me and into his favourite spot in the living room I walked the lad out into the back yard.

"There you go Son, your new Home" said I pointing at the 3 foot x 3 foot x 4 foot kennel and without a word in he went.

I went back into the kitchen, the face on the wife was tantamount to murder and I must admit I felt sick inside. I told her he would knock on the door any minute now and things would be fine. A determined little beggar was young Wooly and after an hour there was still no knock.

My missus was on the verge of going ape. She said, "Let him in love". I looked toward the back door. It was hammering down with rain and as I peeped through kitchen nets. I could see him, he was like a drowned rat. My admiration for the lad had tripled, Evertonian or not he was a determined and very proud lad.

I had to give up, I couldn't let this go on much longer ... and then I heard a little knock. I rushed to the back door and looked through the glass, he was absolutely soaked. Pan-faced as ever I said "Yes Son?"

"Can I come in?" he said. If he could read my mind he would have known HE'D WON.

He stood inside the back door and continued, with a nervous giggle, "It's not the best idea I've ever had, is it"? The tears ran down my face, how heartless could a Father be? Fancy doing that to a boy of SIX - I was ashamed of what I'd done.

We walked together to the bathroom and I ran him a hot bath. He was sitting on the loo lid and I told him about the history of Liverpool Football Club while the bath was running, and I explained that although Everton had won the league, it would be a long time before they ever won it again.

I told him about the virtues of picking a team and sticking with them, as against becoming a turncoat. He just nodded as I spoke. Mrs Wooly stood behind him ruffling his wringing wet hair and giving me daggers at the same time.

After Billy had gone to bed that night I rang my boss and asked him for an emergency holiday, after all this was an EMERGENCY of the highest order. The following day, the little Liverpudlian toddled off to school with a whole new perspective about what it was to be a Red man. Wooly also toddled off to B&Q.

Working like a slave, by the time 3.00pm arrived the project "RED ROOM" was complete. In this short space of time I had painted all his walls and his door with white gloss, all the frames and skirting with red gloss. I had bought a new Liverpool FC quilt cover and pillow. A Liverpool lamp. A Red radio-cassette player (with a Liverpool tape of Kop songs). I had hung all me old European Liverpool flags and Liverpool scarves on the walls. His ceiling was covered with an old banner which had been stapled to the Plaster (not recommended) saying ONCE A RED, ALWAYS A RED, ROME 1977.

A lot of money was spent that day but the look on his face when he got home was well worth every penny spent.

Young Billy is now a 23 year old 6' 3" giant of a man, and has repeatedly thanked his Dad for showing him the light. The story is told as often by him as it is by me and we always laugh together, but I always wonder if he knows how close I came to giving in, and how close he came to living the rest of his life as a BLUENOSE.

© Wooltonian 2004

Post Script:
In todays society above action would probably be classed as child abuse and I would not suggest anyone follows my lead. But doing a lad's bedroom up is still within the realms of good parenthood.

Boxing Day.
Everybody has a special date that they remember, this is one I'll never forget.
Its also one I'll never be allowed to forget.

In our 'ouse at least.

26th December 1978, Boxing Day

Travelled to OT by special, you remember them, the cattle trucks they used to take us to games in.
We came out of ground after the game, half cut, mouth agog, went straight to the pub.
3-0 at Old Trafford is the best result I can remember against Scumchester at OT. Goals from Kennedy, Case and Fairclough made it a day never to be forgotten.
And this was the time for celebration.
A few more pints when we got off the train and I thought, why is the room spinning      ROLF, HUEY, URGH up came the contents of Four cans of Carlsberg Special and some manc crap we'd drunk earlier.
Ah thats better plenty of room for more now.
Met the Girfriend at the local dance.
A few more bevvies and  there I was back in the toilet screaming for me mates again. 
Doesn't your throat get sore the second time of asking.
Back to the bar, stuff the Lager its not agreeing with me.
"Large Scotch please Darlin"
The girlfriend (Lynn, now my wife) said, I've never seen you this pissed before, is it a habit ?
Only when we beat the Scum 3-0 dear,
Is that regular
Oh I bloody hope so, said Wooly drooling at this stage.
Can you walk me home tonight, says Lynn
Coursh I can spluttered someone, I think it was me, but I couldn't recognise the voice.
Half way home, the brain decided it wanted to speak, but the body and gob was struggling to form words.
The brain was asking
Any chance of a legover when we get home
The gob said, will you marry me
We stopped in the middle of the road and she said WOT ?
I walked her to the kerb on the other side to get down on one knee and
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
down the ditch I fell !
Some smart arse that day had decided to dig the road up.
Mushroom Oxford bag trousers and cream shirt might have looked good in the disco, but with the brown muddy clay now covering me from head to toe, the John Travolta look had long gone.
Climbing out of the ditch looking like something out of a swamp.
I repeated my proposal.
You better come and ask me mam and dad, when we get home.
What like this,
YES, tomorrow you might change yer mind.
On the way home we walked through a shopping precinct, we got to those big heavy metal doors that weigh a tonne at the entrance.
Lynn walked through closely followed by Muddy Wooly, but not closely enough.
The door swung shut
BANG !
The door had caught Me right on the button.
Lying on the floor completely OUT COLD,
me missus ran to the security fellah's for help.
When they came back, nothing would bring me round.
"I've an idea" said one of the security men
so off he trundled
Me missus thought he'd gone to phone an ambulance.
Had he ?
NO, we're talking typical security guard logic here,
Two minutes later he arrived pushing a Tesco trolley.
The two security gaurds lifted me up and sat me inside the trolley, so my head was resting on the baby seat and me feet were hanging out the front.
Still totally oblivious to what was happening, Lynn pushed me 2 miles to her house.
What a woman
She parked the trolley outside her front door and went in to find her mam.
Her Mam was having a street party in her house and all the neighbours were quaffing buckets of beer.
With a big smile on her face Lynn said to her mam
"Karl has proposed to me tonight"
Florrie (god bless her soul) give her a big hug and said were is he.
He's waiting outside said Lynn
Well dont leave him standing on the door, bring him in.
He's not standing outside, come with me I'll show yer.
Flo stood on the doorstep, took one look at her prospective future son in law and said ........
"Dont leave him there love, he looks freezin"

Perhaps now you will understand why Flo was always going to be something special to me.

Here I was looking like "Swamp Thing" pissed out of my TROLLEY (sorry about that)
and three sheets to the wind.

and her reaction "dont leave him there he looks freezin"
WHAT A WOMAN.
Two of the big fellahs got me out the trolley and carried me up to the bathroom, where Flo had run me a bath.

Twenty minutes later looking as good as new, dressed in some new clobber borrowed from Lynns Brother, I met my future Father in law.

but thats another story

[BlackandWhitePaul]

Good shout top lad him.

He used to post on my Dads forum, quite a few years ago now and yes Alan is a thoroughly decent man.

[Statto Red]

Here's the tread from when Mouth stitched up SHF, funny as fuck

https://www.redandwhitekop.com/forum/index.php?topic=198423.msg9959230#msg9959230

 

[Sarge]

Where was the photo taken

My bedroom ya biff

[rob1966]

Here's the tread from when Mouth stitched up SHF, funny as fuck

https://www.redandwhitekop.com/forum/index.php?topic=198423.msg9959230#msg9959230

 

The replies from Ada and El_palusa,

[paulrazor]

Zebra a few pages later hahahaa

[John C]

Here's the tread from when Mouth stitched up SHF, funny as fuck

https://www.redandwhitekop.com/forum/index.php?topic=198423.msg9959230#msg9959230

 

Fucking hell that was a thoroughly enjoyable re-read 

Zebra was a talented guy, wonder what happened to him also.

Add him to the list along with PoP.

[TepidT2O]

He’s on Twitter a little but not that much now

[Sarge]

The horse

[John C]

The horse

That was a killer 

[Cohiba]

Such great memories here all, thanks for bringing them back.

I recall the couple in the doorstep of gregs. Also some guys stayed at someone's house in America I think and the guest trashed the bog?  Oh and there was also the woman who got stuck in the cat flap many moons ago. Some posters really were skilled in telling a funny tale, sadly this doesn't seem to happen anymore  now, I think the last big time was the Manc who went skiing 

I guess that is a result of Trump, or Brexit or Covid bringing us all down.

What I don't get with all these civic vaccines is why dont they use bonjela?

Back on topic, anyone recall Terry di nero?

[Sarge]

The catflap

[Buck Pete]

I miss Hooded Claw. Cracking fella on here.

Not posted since 2017 but was active back in January

Next time you’re lurking Hoodie pop in and say hello.

[Sarge]

He was one of the originals on here, yup another sound man.

[John C]

Back on topic, anyone recall Terry di nero?

?
No mate.
Wrong forum perhaps?














 

[paulrazor]

John hall still.post

Sound fella

[Brian Blessed]

Such great memories here all, thanks for bringing them back.

I recall the couple in the doorstep of gregs. Also some guys stayed at someone's house in America I think and the guest trashed the bog?  Oh and there was also the woman who got stuck in the cat flap many moons ago. Some posters really were skilled in telling a funny tale, sadly this doesn't seem to happen anymore  now, I think the last big time was the Manc who went skiing 

I guess that is a result of Trump, or Brexit or Covid bringing us all down.

What I don't get with all these civic vaccines is why dont they use bonjela?

Back on topic, anyone recall Terry di nero?

The Boston Toilet Mangler, still the best custom title on here.

[Statto Red]

Effes hasn't been seen since not long after the time he admitted to watching animal porn, think he got fed up everyone taking the piss every time he posted anything, after that.

Effes animal porn & Baldrick are couple of the funniest threads on here, certainly top 5, maybe top 2.

[John C]

John hall still.post

Sound fella

He posts when he can get wi-fi in his care home.

[Lee1-6Liv]

Speaking of broken toilet seats reminds me of the time Evo minded El Mooros flat for a week, Evos reply to the thread is gold.


https://www.redandwhitekop.com/forum/index.php?topic=65279.msg1023639#msg1023639

[24/7]

Speaking of broken toilet seats reminds me of the time Evo minded El Mooros flat for a week, Evos reply to the thread is gold.


https://www.redandwhitekop.com/forum/index.php?topic=65279.msg1023639#msg1023639

"Water so hard it offered me out." genius comedy that...

[Sarge]

He posts when he can get wi-fi in his care home.

While drinking wine.

[Sarge]

Speaking of broken toilet seats reminds me of the time Evo minded El Mooros flat for a week, Evos reply to the thread is gold.


https://www.redandwhitekop.com/forum/index.php?topic=65279.msg1023639#msg1023639

Mottman is missing too.

[rob1966]

Speaking of broken toilet seats reminds me of the time Evo minded El Mooros flat for a week, Evos reply to the thread is gold.


https://www.redandwhitekop.com/forum/index.php?topic=65279.msg1023639#msg1023639

I remember Evo was not fucking happy with that thread 😂😂😂

[Statto Red]

I remember Evo was not fucking happy with that thread 😂😂😂

Evo's reply was hilarious 

[paulrazor]

Mottman is missing too.

I used to make a point of reading his post about Dresden away once a month

I was only reading evos post on that thread from mooro yesterday

Brilliant

Always laugh at mooro saying his big roll was gone "Evo you wipe your arse with it. You're not supposed to eat it"

[paulrazor]

Mottmans trip to Dresden

https://www.lfchistory.net/Articles/Article/548/1

Long read but it's worth it

Met motty Manys a time. Brilliant fella

[Sarge]

Mottmans trip to Dresden

https://www.lfchistory.net/Articles/Article/548/1

Long read but it's worth it

Met motty Manys a time. Brilliant fella

Thats brilliant.

[Terry de Niro]

Got arrested for always having her fog lights on.

Anyone seen JP these days?

Terry De Niro, Gerrards Petal, Emlyn, Garreth and Lo all oldschoool Rawkites from back in the day.

[Crosby Nick]

Hello Terry! Hope you’re keeping well?

I remember the days when I wondered how you and Sarge had racked up such a high post count!

[Sarge]

 

Hello Terry.

[Sarge]

Hello Terry! Hope you’re keeping well?

I remember the days when I wondered how you and Sarge had racked up such a high post count!

We had young kids