Thou Shalt Always Kill
Thou shalt not steal from a fellow fan
Thou shalt not worship false idols or follow journalists
Thou shalt not take the names of Bill Shankly, Bob Paisley, Billy Liddell, Kenny Dalglish, Ian Rush, John Barnes or Emlyn Hughes in vain
Thou shalt not think that a man over the age of 30 in a replica shirt is a whopper- some people just like them
Thou shalt not read Fever Pitch
Thou shalt not stop liking a player just because he’s adored by the media
Thou shalt not question Rafa Benitez
Thou shalt not judge a player by his previous club form
Thou shalt not judge Igor Biscan by the size of his weapon
Thou shalt not buy S*n products, thou shalt not buy Chang products
Thou shalt not go to the theatre of wood, Goodison Park
Thou shalt not fall in love with a player so easily
Thou shalt not use the internet to get into fans’ hearts- use it to get into their heads
Thou shalt not watch Football Focus
Thou shalt not dictate your shitty opinion to other fans and leave as soon as you’ve finished, you self-righteous little prick
Thou shalt not return to the same club or bar week in, week out just ‘cause you once saw Robbie Fowler in there, who you’re never gonna fucking talk to
Thou shalt not put celebrities on ridiculous pedestals just because they support the same team as you
John Peel- was just a fan
Samuel L. Jackson- just a fan
Clive Owen- just a fan
Dr. Dre- just a fan
John Power- just a fan
Stephen Graham- just a fan
Colin Murray- just a fan
John Lennon- was just a fan
Ian McCulloch- just a fan
James Skelly- just a fan
Mike Myers- just a fan
Elvis Costello- just a fan
Kelly Dalglish- she’s just a fan
Darren Clarke- just a fan
DJ Spoony- just a fan
Martin Johnson- just a fan
Thou shalt give equal worth to bad things that happen to teams from outside the Merseyside region
Thou shalt remember that Mark Wright, Rob Jones and Michael Thomas were never part of the Spice Boys and never will be
Thou shalt not play repetitive route one football, thou shalt not play repetitive route one football, thou shalt not play repetitive route one football, thou shalt not play repetitive route one football
Thou shalt wear the shirt with pride
Thou shalt not wear Lacoste trackies
Thou shalt not laugh at away fans’ stereotypes
Thou shalt not put your hands up for Dirk Kuyt
When I say “alright Aldo” thou shalt not say “sound as a pound”
When I say “pass and move” thou shalt not say “to the Liverpool groove”
When he scores, we score, they score, you score make some noise- thrill me
Thou shalt not have “possibilities”
Thou shalt not shake it like John Arne Riise
Thou shalt not wish we had Zlatan Ibrahimovic
Thou shalt spell the word “football” F-U-T-B-O-L not F-O-O-T-B-A-L-L regardless of what the Oxford English dictionary tells you
Thou shalt not express your shock at the revelation that Jamie Carragher is the greatest living person in the world today by saying “is he?”
Thou shalt think for yourselves
And thou shalt always, thou shalt always… kill
Based on the original:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yoN6XfyQsr4