Imagine the following scene.
Offices of Liverpoolfc.tv.
Secretary to Chief Executive of Liverpool FC (S): "Good morning, Fredricko Biscuits office?"
$uncan Newbacon ($N): "Can I speak to Mr Biscuits please, no scrub that, put me though now for I am $uncan - creator and master of the Universe".
S: "Excuse me, who is this?"
O: "Mr $uncan Newbacon owner of Krap Talk."
S: "You say $uncan Newbacon, one moment please."
(In the background you can hear "Mr Biscuits a Mr $uncan Newbacon for you". "Who", "$uncan Newbacon owner of Krap Talk", "Bwahahaha - put him through".)
FB: "Fredricko Biscuits speaking (snigger) can I help you?"
$N: "Lord $uncan creator of the Universe and the underwater hair dryer speaking."
FB: "Sorry!"
O: "Er $uncan Newbacon - owner of Krap Talk."
FB: "(snigger) whoops, yes Mr Newbacon?"
$N: "I wish to complain about one of your employees."
FB: "Yes, and what is this complaint (snigger)?"
$N: "Your employee Harold Digestives came on my all conquering cyber world and told lies about me."
FB: "Really (snigger) what sort of lies?"
$N: "He told all the posters on my magificent forum that I have no contacts within Liverpool football club and that my source is my toadie mate MNE owner of the Pink Pub (plug plug)."
FB: "And there is a problem with that?"
$N: "Yes, it's a lie."
FB: "Define a lie Mr Newbacon."
$N: "A point of view that doesn't agree with mine or points out that I am wrong."
FB: "That is not a lie Mr Newbacon."
$N: "Well on Krap Talk you must agree with me and RESPECT MY AUTHORITAAY OK."
FB: "But it doesn't make it a lie."
$N: "I demand action!"
FB: "Ok Mr Newbacon I will take action against this employee."
$N: "Great, do you know any dirt on Robbie Fowler? Make it up if you like. And if you are ever in town visit the Pink Pub please."
JB: "Sorry Mr Newbacon, can't help you there, and I am busy man, so I must go. Thanks for the call (snigger)."
$N: "No thank you Mr Biscuits."
A week passes and $uncan wonders what has happened over the incident.
S: "Hello, Liverpoolfc.tv Chief Executives Office."
$N: "Hello, it is Lord $uncan of OOTershire can I speak to the Chief Executive please."
S: "Sorry, who again?"
$N: "Er its $uncan Newbacon - owner of Krap Talk."
S: "Of course Mr Newbacon just putting you through now to the Chief Executive now."
(Phone goes dead and is then picked up)
"Hello Harold Digestives speaking!"
