Topic: Shanklyboy's and Fat Scousers ( Leo who's done a Lord Lucan ) auld arse thread

[jambutty]

Filthy mind you have, 24. It was Maggies rugger bugger story....honest to God! 

We'll believe you.

Thousands wouldn't.

[vivabobbygraham]

We'll believe you.

Thousands wouldn't.

Et tu, buttay?

[Fat Scouser]

Costello on the Philharmonic last night, fucken brilliant. First saw the fella 38 years ago now and he gets better every year, mostly a solo acoustic set but near three hours of it.

Seriously, if anybody can make any of the nights left on the current tour, do it. It's not be missed.

Leo, Southampton Friday night lad, stop moping and get yourself down there.

Thank fuck I looked in here. I had no idea, John. Inbetween moping, I've been dead busy. And in all truth, the funny thing is, I haven't been as content in ages. It's weird, I should be choka but I feel as if I'm doing something again.

My game's been knackered for a few years now, but I could be out making a few quid at this time of year. Mates of mine are still making a living and going out almost everyday. I've forever got people calling me asking what I'm up to and offering me good lines, Market Lads, Warehouse owners an that. I got offered a cracking line the other night. A mate of mine's out battering it. I just can't be arsed with it now.

I'm off to the Austerity Rally on Saturday, on the coach at 7am. I won't drive into that London, and I'd rather have a kip on the coach than pay a fortune to get on the cattle train. It probably won't be too bad on a Saturday, but them commuter trains from here to London, like the specials in the 70's, kick offs included.

Me an a mate used to get the train to London every Friday. We'd go about 10 and come back about 8. The Lads getting out of that Prison Boat in Weymouth and going back to London used to be on it. It was a laugh, met a famous Arsenal full backs brother on there. Apparantly a minge bag, didn't give his family a light, hence the naughty brother. Anyway, that used to be a laugh, but them commuter, fuck that.

Thing on the news about it the other night... people here are paying a third of their wages just on getting to work an back, rammed into aul shite trains that are always taking the knock, having to get off and go on a bus. It happened to me once, leaves on the line or something, took months to get to Portsmouth. Fuck that for a daily routine.

But if I can still get a Elvis ticket, I'll jump on one to Southampton, stay in me mates and get the bus to London from there in the morning. Really looking forward to the Rally. I've arranged to meet a few people there, feels like a day out. I really must be going nuts.

Oh and Maggie, as much as I love you, you're wrong... Ken Loach belongs in here. He'd fit right in, aul proper Socialist Footy Fan. I love Ken, boss fella, proper genuine Lovey Socialist not the Champagne kind. Shelter wouldn't exist if it wasn't for Cathy Come Home. I love most of his gear, even the shite ones have something to them. But if you haven't seen it, watch Spirit of 45. It's brilliant. And surely the best bit of football ever put on film... The slightly balding Bobby Charlton scoring a penalty.

[the 92A]

 Saw this this morning about how Wellington won at Waterloo but attcked the poor and ended up meeting his own Waterloo, the Story about how the heroes of Waterloo ended up as part of the 'scum' that had to fight just to eat. worth reading, they love hiding our real history from us. http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/history/battle-of-waterloo-was-it-just-an-unpopular-adventure-led-by-an-establishment-hate-figure-10321996.html

[jambutty]

Et tu, buttay?

Et 3 t'other day.

[Pheeny]

Saw this this morning about how Wellington won at Waterloo but attcked the poor and ended up meeting his own Waterloo, the Story about how the heroes of Waterloo ended up as part of the 'scum' that had to fight just to eat. worth reading, they love hiding our real history from us. http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/history/battle-of-waterloo-was-it-just-an-unpopular-adventure-led-by-an-establishment-hate-figure-10321996.html

Thanks for that Albie.

[Fat Scouser]

Albie, you probably already know, about Wellington and the Rothchilds. But, if not, just put Rothchilds Waterloo in your search bar. There's millions of links.

Makes me laugh, say anything like that nowadays and it's jumped on as a Conspiracy Theory. There's no theory about it, the so called Elite have always, and still are, conspiring to rob us all blind.

[Fat Scouser]

Just read it. Nothing changes, eh...

Distress led to rioting in normally sleepy rural towns such as Ely. But Parliament then increased the pressure on the poor by abolishing income tax on the wealthy and prescribing austerity for the rest. After the defence budget was slashed by 75 per cent and the Army cut from 233,000 to 92,000, thousands of former "Waterloo Men" were forced to get poor relief or beg for a living. One Rifleman Harris saw "thousands of [ex-]soldiers lining the streets and lounging about the different public houses with every description of wound and casualty incident on modern warfare".

I didn't know that's how he got the name "Iron Duke," from barricading himself in. How they've twisted that, eh. But I learnt about the Peter Loo Massacre through Manc mates in America. Seems to me, it's time for the great unwashed to unite again.

[Maggie May]

Came on here to offer congrats to the auld arses and Maggie has got me looking for the kleenex.... I'm just an old softie, phenah, phenah

Just to dab away a single manly tear caused from reflecting on the golden days of our youth.  How lovely.  How noble. 

[Maggie May]

Steady the Buffs!

Ooooh I know.  But first things first my treasure.  How's it hanging gorgeous piggy babe?

To procede.  Its a very young Lee van Cleef, but still with cheekbones you could cut cheese with.  He's half Apache (dunno which half - cue Gilbert & Sullivan fans? Nothing?  Oh well please yourselves then ).  So he needs to speak to the Tribal Elder, who won't speak to him unless he takes his clothes off.  (Lee not the Elder).  So he's there with an inverted pyramid rig front and back with a string on the side, otherwise bolliko.  And I couldn't help but think how uncomfortable that must have been to ride in (and I speak as a seasoned wearer of thongs, which are the equivalent of a length of razor wire being drawn across your fanny and tugged up the crack of your arse), and how much better off he would have been with a nifty cotton number he could have rinsed out at the end of the day and left to dry on a twig or something for the morning.

Can't comment on his arse save to say it wasn't saggy.  But the front pouch.  Oh dear.  Lacking in bulge.  Legs OK, but upper body - nah.  Not enough meat on the bone for my taste.  But overall not bad for those who favour that sort of thing.

[Crimson_Tank]

Going through life wearing nought but a loin cloth, riding a mare, lacking in bulge is not ideal.

[Dr. Beaker]

Going through life wearing nought but a loin cloth, riding a mare, lacking in bulge is not ideal.

Aye, but we were 'appy though.

[Lady_brandybuck]

Shame on you for correcting the Doc!

I did it with a kiss, as a token of good will

Que vaina

Good spanish, where are you learning?

[Pheeny]

It's no wonder the kids aren't allowed in here.

[24/7]

Good spanish, where are you learning?

At the vaina near the vaina.....

[Dr. Beaker]

I did it with a kiss, as a token of good will

Must spell incorrectly more often.

[24/7]

Must spell incorrectly more often.

That's once

[The Flying Pig]

"Ooooh I know.  But first things first my treasure.  How's it hanging gorgeous piggy babe?"

Thanks for asking hon. Things are tough just now, it's looking like another enforced flit is on the cards. As ever, I'm hanging in there.

[Mutton Geoff]

"Ooooh I know.  But first things first my treasure.  How's it hanging gorgeous piggy babe?"

Thanks for asking hon. Things are tough just now, it's looking like another enforced flit is on the cards. As ever, I'm hanging in there.

Hope things improve Piggy mate .

[vivabobbygraham]

Just to dab away a single manly tear caused from reflecting on the golden days of our youth.  How lovely.  How noble.

I feel another bourbon cream coming on

[Mutton Geoff]

I feel another bourbon cream coming on

 Nice.

[Maggie May]

"Ooooh I know.  But first things first my treasure.  How's it hanging gorgeous piggy babe?"

Thanks for asking hon. Things are tough just now, it's looking like another enforced flit is on the cards. As ever, I'm hanging in there.

That's awful babe.  A bundle of love to help you get through this horrible time.  You are in my thoughts.  I know you will prevail.   

[Maggie May]

I feel another bourbon cream coming on

Oh dear.  Another of his raging rampaging uncontrollable lusts. 

[Maggie May]

It's no wonder the kids aren't allowed in here.

Just as well.  By the time we'd put them through their paces as if they were real grown up red blooded virile men - especially with regard to the ruff stuff - they'd be in  tears and begging for their Mammy.  So its a kindness really.

[vivabobbygraham]

Nice.

No, bourbon cream, Geoff

[pooley]

'Trebor mints are a minty bit stronger,' anyone remember the next line?

[The Gulleysucker]

'Trebor mints are a minty bit stronger,' anyone remember the next line?

...stick them up your bum and they last a bit longer.

So, what about ... You'll wonder where the yellow went when you brush your teeth with .....

[Dr. Beaker]

...stick them up your bum and they last a bit longer.

So, what about ... You'll wonder where the yellow went when you brush your teeth with .....

A wire brush.

[jambutty]

You'll wonder where the yellow went when you brush your teeth with

H₂SO₄

[Dr. Beaker]

Steradent (not sure about the spelling - before anyone starts, like).

[The Gulleysucker]

H₂SO₄

Johnny was a little boy but Johnny is no more,
For what he thought was H₂O was H₂SO₄

But the answer is... Pepsodent , or in the variant we used to sing, wet cement

[The Flying Pig]

Thanks for the good wishes, Maggie and Geoff, I'm one of the old school so I'll battle on and get through. I've never had to borrow in my life until now.

[24/7]

H₂SO₄

Two chemists walk into a pub. Barman asks what they want. First chemist says, smugly, "I'll have H2O please." Second says, "I'll have H2O too please!" Second chemist dies.

[Crimson_Tank]

Looking for a reaction?

[Dr. Beaker]

Two chemists walk into a pub. Barman asks what they want. First chemist says, smugly, "I'll have H2O please." Second says, "I'll have H2O too please!" Second chemist dies.

He was just having a 'blonde' moment.

[Pheeny]

Can we stop trying to be clever and get back to having fun...

[jambutty]

A termite walks into a pub and asks, "Is the bartender here?"

[pooley]

Is  it just me? or has anyone else encountered the tea-spoon in the bottom of the washing up bowl phenomenon?

[Maggie May]

Is  it just me? or has anyone else encountered the tea-spoon in the bottom of the washing up bowl phenomenon? 

Oddly enough - since you ask - no.  But I haven't got a fuckin clue about all this chemistry shite anyway.  Well take this Einstean fella.  Over rated  in my opinion.  I mean.  Compare him with King Kenny.  Kenny's bangin 'em in and running round, arms spread, with a smile that would light up Anfield and Einey's droning on about the theory of relativity, which most people don't know what the fuck relativity is in the first place, and care less about a theory one way or the other.  Well there's no contest is there?   

[24/7]

Einstein was a physicist, not a chemist, who proposed his theories of relativity between 1907 and 1915.

Kenny signed for LFC in 1977.

How old ARE you excactly, Mags?