Said Catterick to Vernon you're smoking too much,
You're playing like shite and you're losing your touch,
I wish now that I'd signed that Ian St. John
For he is a footballer second to none.
With Hunt alongside him and Cally there too,
There isn't much doubt that they're better than you,
And with all those boys who sing loud on the Kop
Those Redmen are certain to get to the top.
So let us acknowledge the team down the road,
Who play all their football by Bill Shankly's code,
Although I'm the boss of this Everton team.
To play like them Redmen is my biggest dream.
So with that old Catterick went home on the bus,
There wasn't much point in him making a fuss,
Then Vernon jumped into the back of his Jag,
Drank some Johnny Red Walker and lit up a fag.
So what is the moral of this little tale,
You shouldn't smoke ciggies or go drinking ale,
Unless you're a Kopite in Bill Shankly's band
That follows the team that's the best in the land.
